Chronata
This is a true account of my first hilariously awful paid reading experience...
Today was my Birth-day. I am a Gemini, which means I am naturally a very curious beast...which is why for the last year...all I wanted to do was check out the local psychic!
She has a shop in town. A little storefront that never seems to have any business (although she is a standing member of the business association)
I have done readings professionally(some psychic, some not) for 23 years, and in all that time...I have NEVER gone to another local reader and paid for a reading.
I figured it was about time! If the reading was bad...or good...I would at least satisfy my curiosity, and find out how other folks do it!
(by which I mean...other readers I don't actually know...I have had many excellent readings here, from members ...some even face to face!)
so...My adventure began yesterday when I called to make my appointment.
I called the number...and a voice answers.
"yeah?" says what sounds like a chain smoker, whom I have just awakened from a deep sleep...
I ask if this is "readings by ______?"
"yeah"
So I ask to make an appointment. Suddenly... it sounds like a completely different woman has hijacked the phone. Now she is is all business. She asks for my name, and a time, and how I found out about her...(this will be the first of about five times she asks me that question!)
I tell her I'm local...saw the shop...wanted a reading. Ok...we are all good to go for the next day at noon...except...she doesn't know where she will be.
Apparently she has two locations. So she asks me to call her a half an hour before I come to make sure.
I hang up. My expectations are suddenly not very high.
This morning, I call a half an hour to make sure that she will be in the storefront location.(where is her other one? In her home? On the moon?)
“Yeah, what?” Is how she answers. She also seems really peeved that I am calling her.
So now, I think she has some sort of memory problem...and she forget that she told me to call her.
“Where did you hear about me?” I tell her again...Storefront. Big honkin' phone number on window.
After I hang up...I start wondering whether or not to tell her that I'm a reader too? I don't like people testing me (although honestly, I can spot another tarot reader across a crowded airport!) I ask my cards...I get the 7 of swords. Not a good sign.
I decide...what the hell? I'll mention it.See what her reaction is. After all...I get jazzed to know that I am reading for another reader. Maybe she will too?
So, I head off to the locale. There's a small waiting room with a couch. A woman...not at all what she sounded like on the phone...greets me. She's a little younger than me, big dark eyes,wears a big gold cross. Has a toddler, and is all smiles as she shakes my hand.
Her accent is lightly... something...maybe hispanic? She doesn't sound at all like the woman on the phone (who sounded much older to me.)
She lets me into the office...with her kid in tow, shuts the door.
I take in my surroundings...nice size crystal ball, an absolutely ginormous white Holy Bible,.a couple of decks...I notice from the backs. Doreen Virtue's Healing With the Angels cards, an RWS, and what looks like a Fournier Marseilles.
She tells me the rundown of the readings she offers...10 bucks for a palm reading...and it goes up from there. There's psychic, tarot, Angel, full life readings...and 100 bucks for a crystal ball reading. Um yeah. I think Ok...but I am willing to be open minded...although I already expect this to be a wash.
I select a tarot reading. Oh why not? Lets see how this goes. It's 35 dollars, and that's what I expected to pay. I am supporting a local business, if anything else...
Again...How diod I hear about her? and Why do I want a reading?
I tell her it's my birth-day. And that I am also a reader, and want another opinion on my own life. I could have told her I was a financial consultant...for all the reaction I got. It didn't seem to phase her.
With her kid on her lap (constantly asking “who's that?”and pointing to me) she has me shuffle the RWS, and make three piles. Then I have to pick one pile...and she lays them all out in a pyramid on the big table between us.
There has to be 20 something cards here. Some reversed...and I'm thinking how the hell do you read this as all one spread?...it looks so random!
But of course...it is...
She asks me to be open minded. Ok...(grudgingly)... check.
She asks if I am willing to hear any news she tells me. I almost say “no! Tell me only good things!” But I refrain. I will be a good, nice sitter...at least until she outright cons me.
She then asks me to say my name loudly when she is ready. She puts the squirming kid down, (who disappears off to a corner). Ok...I say my name. Loudly. She then begins what sounds like a perfectly scripted record...in a monotone...using my name at the beginning of every sentence.
She glances briefly at the cards (and never glances at them again!)
This was her opening line...
“Robyn...I feel your life is very confused. You don't know which path to go down Robyn, your heart has emptiness from many years...for this long time, Robyn...I feel now you are so unhappy with your life...”
and then...her cell phone rings. Her phone voice is totally different from how it sounded seconds ago. It's no wonder I thought she was someone else. She actually takes another appointment while I sit there...and muse about her words.
I have heard all this Cold Reading crap before. Hell...I am not ashamed to admit I have pulled some Cold Reads in my time. I think...she's not even a good Cold Reader...as she didn't seem to take into account my demeanor, my clothes...or my attitude. She's sticking with the Tried and True.
At least she apologized for the interruption. She then starts the whole script...word for word over again. I laugh. “No, actually.”..I tell her, “my life is the best it's ever been!”
She flusters. “Oh...sometimes it's hard to know the past from the present.”
I am still waiting for the pitch...and it comes next.
She tells me...even though my life is moving now, I am still behind 4-6 years from where I need to be. Huh. That's a new one. I always trusted that I am always exactly where I need to be at all times for my growth.
But ok...
She tells me there is a great big cloud...like a raincloud of black evil spirit energy that is blocking me from reaching my goals and dreams. And if I would like...SHE could help me with this problem.
I smile. No thanks...I know what it is, and I've got it covered.
That sort of took the wind out of her. She rambled on some more...but I felt like I broke her script. Shge stopped using my name to start every sentence...and she asked a lot of questions. Lot's of vagueness...travel, relationships, work...not a whole lot of it made any sense to me personally. Though I could definitely see the average person might find some parallels to their life. I smiled and nodded.
Then she just sort of stops. She thanked me, and mentioned that she also sells some crystals and candles...if I was interested? But she knew I wasn't her sucker by then, and she only half heartedly mentioned it. Kinda wish I could see what they were for...and just how much they would set me back for, but it was 25 minutes since I walked in...and she wanted to be paid.
On the way out the door, she asked “Where did you say you heard about me?”
Crappy “Tarot” Reading...$35
Not getting Conned Further?...Priceless
Although I do admit, I was a little disappointed that I didn't get a real, Birth-day reading...because that would have been a nice treat!
Today was my Birth-day. I am a Gemini, which means I am naturally a very curious beast...which is why for the last year...all I wanted to do was check out the local psychic!
She has a shop in town. A little storefront that never seems to have any business (although she is a standing member of the business association)
I have done readings professionally(some psychic, some not) for 23 years, and in all that time...I have NEVER gone to another local reader and paid for a reading.
I figured it was about time! If the reading was bad...or good...I would at least satisfy my curiosity, and find out how other folks do it!
(by which I mean...other readers I don't actually know...I have had many excellent readings here, from members ...some even face to face!)
so...My adventure began yesterday when I called to make my appointment.
I called the number...and a voice answers.
"yeah?" says what sounds like a chain smoker, whom I have just awakened from a deep sleep...
I ask if this is "readings by ______?"
"yeah"
So I ask to make an appointment. Suddenly... it sounds like a completely different woman has hijacked the phone. Now she is is all business. She asks for my name, and a time, and how I found out about her...(this will be the first of about five times she asks me that question!)
I tell her I'm local...saw the shop...wanted a reading. Ok...we are all good to go for the next day at noon...except...she doesn't know where she will be.
Apparently she has two locations. So she asks me to call her a half an hour before I come to make sure.
I hang up. My expectations are suddenly not very high.
This morning, I call a half an hour to make sure that she will be in the storefront location.(where is her other one? In her home? On the moon?)
“Yeah, what?” Is how she answers. She also seems really peeved that I am calling her.
So now, I think she has some sort of memory problem...and she forget that she told me to call her.
“Where did you hear about me?” I tell her again...Storefront. Big honkin' phone number on window.
After I hang up...I start wondering whether or not to tell her that I'm a reader too? I don't like people testing me (although honestly, I can spot another tarot reader across a crowded airport!) I ask my cards...I get the 7 of swords. Not a good sign.
I decide...what the hell? I'll mention it.See what her reaction is. After all...I get jazzed to know that I am reading for another reader. Maybe she will too?
So, I head off to the locale. There's a small waiting room with a couch. A woman...not at all what she sounded like on the phone...greets me. She's a little younger than me, big dark eyes,wears a big gold cross. Has a toddler, and is all smiles as she shakes my hand.
Her accent is lightly... something...maybe hispanic? She doesn't sound at all like the woman on the phone (who sounded much older to me.)
She lets me into the office...with her kid in tow, shuts the door.
I take in my surroundings...nice size crystal ball, an absolutely ginormous white Holy Bible,.a couple of decks...I notice from the backs. Doreen Virtue's Healing With the Angels cards, an RWS, and what looks like a Fournier Marseilles.
She tells me the rundown of the readings she offers...10 bucks for a palm reading...and it goes up from there. There's psychic, tarot, Angel, full life readings...and 100 bucks for a crystal ball reading. Um yeah. I think Ok...but I am willing to be open minded...although I already expect this to be a wash.
I select a tarot reading. Oh why not? Lets see how this goes. It's 35 dollars, and that's what I expected to pay. I am supporting a local business, if anything else...
Again...How diod I hear about her? and Why do I want a reading?
I tell her it's my birth-day. And that I am also a reader, and want another opinion on my own life. I could have told her I was a financial consultant...for all the reaction I got. It didn't seem to phase her.
With her kid on her lap (constantly asking “who's that?”and pointing to me) she has me shuffle the RWS, and make three piles. Then I have to pick one pile...and she lays them all out in a pyramid on the big table between us.
There has to be 20 something cards here. Some reversed...and I'm thinking how the hell do you read this as all one spread?...it looks so random!
But of course...it is...
She asks me to be open minded. Ok...(grudgingly)... check.
She asks if I am willing to hear any news she tells me. I almost say “no! Tell me only good things!” But I refrain. I will be a good, nice sitter...at least until she outright cons me.
She then asks me to say my name loudly when she is ready. She puts the squirming kid down, (who disappears off to a corner). Ok...I say my name. Loudly. She then begins what sounds like a perfectly scripted record...in a monotone...using my name at the beginning of every sentence.
She glances briefly at the cards (and never glances at them again!)
This was her opening line...
“Robyn...I feel your life is very confused. You don't know which path to go down Robyn, your heart has emptiness from many years...for this long time, Robyn...I feel now you are so unhappy with your life...”
and then...her cell phone rings. Her phone voice is totally different from how it sounded seconds ago. It's no wonder I thought she was someone else. She actually takes another appointment while I sit there...and muse about her words.
I have heard all this Cold Reading crap before. Hell...I am not ashamed to admit I have pulled some Cold Reads in my time. I think...she's not even a good Cold Reader...as she didn't seem to take into account my demeanor, my clothes...or my attitude. She's sticking with the Tried and True.
At least she apologized for the interruption. She then starts the whole script...word for word over again. I laugh. “No, actually.”..I tell her, “my life is the best it's ever been!”
She flusters. “Oh...sometimes it's hard to know the past from the present.”
I am still waiting for the pitch...and it comes next.
She tells me...even though my life is moving now, I am still behind 4-6 years from where I need to be. Huh. That's a new one. I always trusted that I am always exactly where I need to be at all times for my growth.
But ok...
She tells me there is a great big cloud...like a raincloud of black evil spirit energy that is blocking me from reaching my goals and dreams. And if I would like...SHE could help me with this problem.
I smile. No thanks...I know what it is, and I've got it covered.
That sort of took the wind out of her. She rambled on some more...but I felt like I broke her script. Shge stopped using my name to start every sentence...and she asked a lot of questions. Lot's of vagueness...travel, relationships, work...not a whole lot of it made any sense to me personally. Though I could definitely see the average person might find some parallels to their life. I smiled and nodded.
Then she just sort of stops. She thanked me, and mentioned that she also sells some crystals and candles...if I was interested? But she knew I wasn't her sucker by then, and she only half heartedly mentioned it. Kinda wish I could see what they were for...and just how much they would set me back for, but it was 25 minutes since I walked in...and she wanted to be paid.
On the way out the door, she asked “Where did you say you heard about me?”
Crappy “Tarot” Reading...$35
Not getting Conned Further?...Priceless
Although I do admit, I was a little disappointed that I didn't get a real, Birth-day reading...because that would have been a nice treat!
these kind of con people really make me mad, it gives us all a bad rep. the local shop by me has their sign TARROT READINGS yes with TWO Rs. I think out of all the readers I tried in NY and I have tried almost all of them it seems, only one of them has been accurate the rest all sound like they are reading that script you mentioned. "you dont open up to people easily only to those close to you. you are sorrounded by a lot of negativity and negative people...." its because of people like that i feel bad charging to read. 
Too much!! 