Thinking of moving on...

Well, I am the world's most disorganized person at times. I forget people's names, I forget where I leave things, I'm not good with dates & appointments, & I always feel awkward taking money from people, even when they're just paying back a loan.

To help with these & other issues, I have a "manager", who is a friend of mine. When he first started, he was very enthusiastic & kept saying he couldn't wait to get his own deck. Even more so when I told him there was a gay deck.
Well, he kept whining because he could never seem to buy the deck & he refused to borrow one of mine. To be nice, & to shut him up, I bought it for him as a birthdayt present. He was so thrilled!! For the first 5 minutes. Then he whined & complained because there's only one rainbow in the entire deck.
Now, when I try to ask him for advice on a reading I'm doing or if I ask him to help me with something, he complains he has a lot going on & he's not as enthusiastic about tarot as I am.

People like this confuse the hell out of me. I tend to be a very straightforward person. I may be forgetful, but once I make up my mind, it USUALLY (not always) stays made. People that flip-flop like a wet spagetti noodle not only annoy me, they also catch me off guard.
Well, I'm about two minutes away from telling him off, but I feel bad for doing so. He is my friend, afterall. Although if I do, I don't think I'll bother with another "manager", this is my second. They keep starting out all enthusiastic, wanting me to do constant readings for them & teach them everything I know & then they get bored & that irks me.
Should I sever the tie & move on so he can sit & sulk rather than dragging me down with him? I could use some advise before I do something I may regret. The cards were helpful but a bit confusing on this subject.

rabidwolfie said:

The cards were helpful but a bit confusing on this subject.

Click to expand...

This is what I'd like to know more about.

Do you believe that these he is honestly interested in learning tarot, or do they just want to be able to say that he owns a tarot deck? If you do do readings for him, does he take what you have to say seriously and try to apply it in a meaningful way, or does he just throw it all away and move on? Would you be comfortable trying to teach him about tarot and how to read?

If you truly feel that you've been used or somehow wronged to this extent, then you have every right to voice your opinion. As you said, this person is a friend, and friends shouldn't have to hide their feelings or thoughts from each other. If he's hurt you, speak up! It may be that he doesn't realize how frustrated you are by this, or it may be that he just doesn't care.

Either way, if it were me, I would want to know where I stood.

If you are open, then it gives him the opportunity to be open as well.

It sounds to me like you've been used. Not in a malicious way---just in a benign one, I think. I recommend that you speak up and let him know how you feel. It doesn't have to be at all confrontational. Just quietly and in a friendly way discuss it with him. If you then still haven't gotten satisfaction, I'd move on.

I also recommend that you make a list of things friends do and don't do for/to friends. See how he tallies up. If he's not doing to you what a friend does to a true friend, maybe you don't need a manager. Maybe you just need to find a true friend.

Sorry you're so frustrated.

I'm confused about several points:

Are you paying him? If not, are you taking advantage of him?

If he's just supposed to manage the business aspects of things, and doesn't read tarot, why are you asking him for advice on readings?

Are you expecting him to match your interest in tarot? Why? You said this happened before, so... are your expectations too high?

I guess, if it was an employee and they weren't doing what you paid them to do, you could fire them. If they're a friend but you don't actually like them much anymore, I guess you could end the friendship - or tell them off, but does that really ever work?

I don't fully understand what's going on, so it's hard to give advice.

One thing I can say about gifts is that even though you hope the person will love it, you can't make it so. (Even if they claimed they really wanted the item in the past.) You have to give things freely. It's up to the person what to do with it after that. They can sell it, or give it or throw it away. Keep it and never use it. It's fully theirs once you've given it to them. Resenting it or trying to control that aspect doesn't do any good.

Good luck!

To clear some things up, I buy him food (he's a total mooch & gleefully admits it) all the time, & the odd occasion someone pays for the reading I do (I'm so easy-going, 98% of the time I just do it for free) I give him a part of it.

He said he wanted to learn tarot & liked when I did readings for him. Then he kept saying he wanted to copy my notebook & kept asking me questions (before I got him the deck), but when I kept offering to loan him one of my decks, he refused & said he didn't want to get used to a deck he'd have to give back. So I got him his own, & all of a sudden what I said before went out the window, which I don't really mind muich because we all have to learn our own ways, it just confused me that he would so quickly disregard the advise he constantly asked for. And now he's all backing out of things & using the excuse he's not as enthusiastic about tarot as I am.

I have no idea where his enthusiam went. And to clear up another issue, I could care less what he does with the deck. He can scribble on it with crayons & burn it for smores. I just got irritated that he wanted it so baddly & then gets all upset about such a minor issue. Some people are impossible to please.

I consulted my cards with a few draws, but they tend to be as conflicted as I am (Gee, wonder why LOL) So, since I have trouble reading for myself anyway, I just set them aside for a while.

I think if I see him tomorrow I'm going to discuss the issue & just go out on my own. My friends seem to be getting less & less trust-worthy lately.

Maybe the deck is more intimidating than he thought it would be, either the learning of it, or just having one at all? You never really know how people will react until they are in the situation they so desperately wanted to be in. He may have gotten more than he bargained for, then again, maybe he'll save it for a time when he really does feel ready to work with it.

As for mixing friends/family with business- it doesn't work for me.

Good luck with it, it's a tricky place you're in.

From a different point of view. The person is the child and you are the mom. Wanna keep it that way? Your supposed to do it for him, copy your notes ,read, feed, teach,pay. Why not do a three card draw,post it in the appropriate section on the AT and see what transpires.
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Porntube

What do you mean "manager" ?

I reread your entry as I could not believe what I read. That would be the day someone managed me ! As disorangized as I get or as inadequate as I can be, etc. This is ME and I APPROVE of myself. I hope you get it sorted out.

Sounds to me like the Dalmation Puppy Syndrome - Oh, they're really cute. I have to have one. Oh, they're a lot of work and I'm in over my head. Off to the pound it goes....

When you read tarot it probably looks really easy to him. Once he got his own deck (and I just so happened to look at the LWB for that deck over the weekend so I can speak from a little more experience), he realized it wasn't so easy after all and his interest quickly waned.

You gave him a gift. You can't control what he does or doesn't do with it. As for his overall lack of enthusiasm with tarot, you have to decide if your interactions with him outside of tarot are worth continuing.

Rodney