Being put on the spot about readings...

I was wondering how others handle situations where your put on the spot to do a reading. I've had this happen a few times now, where when someone finds out that I read tarot they want a reading right now. I have so far obliged most of the time, and I've found that really this is about them "testing" me. I get comments about either wow you should read professionally or snarky comments about how they already knew that. Then why ask for a reading? Duh.

I'm really annoyed with this and thinking I need some tools in my toolbox to handle these.

So who has dealt with it, how did you deal with it and what do you recommend?

Hooked

Well sometimes I do the reading right then, but if I don't think it's the right time ect. I'll hand them one of my cards and say "Sure I'd love to do a reading for you, here's my card just call for an appointment."
This helps them understand my time is valuable and so is their's and this isn't to be taken lightly.
Always works well...and it shakes up the testers a little bit because jeepers if you've got a business card well you must mean business.

edited to add; my rates are on my card..I do not usually read for free.
Even if I do the reading right there and then, some payment or barter is involved.
And as others have stated a fee weeds out many a weed.

well, you are the reader...and you are doing them the favor, of giving them your attention and a glimpse of your skill...

that means YOU make the rules...of where and when...and why you read.

Sometimes, a reading is genuinely needed...and sometimes, people just want to try it out, as a diversion, or entertainment, or because they never had one before... and sometimes, they just want something for nothing.

The best way I have found to deal with it, especially the "testers"...is to charge them something for the reading. Maybe you don't feel comfortable charging money...then do it in exchange for a meal, or something else.

And then you will discover who really needs a reading, and who doesn't.

I've had it happen in more of an "oooh" kind of way rather than testing. I'm usually not even concerned with their opinion of me or as a reader, I just get really nervous, ya know what I mean?

Echoing what Chronata said, I think it's important for you as a reader to have certain personal guidelines; when and where you are comfortable reading, what would be unacceptable reading conditions for you, whether you will charge a fee or not, etc. These are things that only you can define for yourself, and may even change over time as you figure out what works for you and what doesn't.

I've only ever truly been put on the spot by co-workers who spotted a deck in my purse (oops!), and in my particular case, readings at work are just really impossible. I work ER/OP Registration, and we have a constant influx of people; I simply don't have time to do anything but the job I'm paid for, and sometimes even that is a stretch! Aside from that, there's really nowhere private enough to comfortably read. If I have a hunch that someone's just trolling for flame-fodder, I politely explain why I don't read at work but that I will read for them after-hours for a set fee; I generally don't do readings for money, but this is the best way I've found to weed out the trolls. For others, I say something along the lines of, "I certainly don't mind reading for you! Maybe we could do it over lunch somewhere more private?" Or if I know them pretty well, we set up other arrangements.

There are always going to be cynics who try to trap you and cut you down simply because they don't believe that Tarot works and that you're just gunning for their money. And unfortunately, there may be people who try to take advantage of an opportunity to get a reading for free. I think it just goes with the territory.

My response depends on the time and place I'm 'put on the spot'. It doesn't happen a lot anymore because its old news in my family (who all get Christmas readings anyway) and because it rarely comes up in conversations when I first meet people. But if it does happen at a party/ loud/ drunk sort of place I'll generally say that I can't read their cards there, give them a very basic palm reading and encourage them to give me a call for a proper appointment. If they ask somewhere quiet and I happen to have a deck on me I'll often just answer one question. If they want more then that then its back to "well, this is how much it is an hour, give me a call,".

As others have said, your in charge. You don't have to prove anything at all. In fact, these first impression sort of meetings will often give you a good idea of what they'll be like as sitters. If they are too pushy you can always tell them that you are booked up for the forseeable future.

Thank you all for answering.

I have realized, reading all the answers, that my problem lies in having no set of personal rules as of yet. Even though I've been around Tarot my whole life and reading on and off for almost twenty years, I feel very new to it. I'm still in the mindset of just learning and practicing and have given no thought to the questions raised here. I haven't read for money and am not comfortable with it, although I think this is more of a confidence issue and the fact that I feel so new to it all. I love the business card trick! lol. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet though. I'm going to give everything suggested and shared a bit of time to ping around in my brain and hopefully come up with a solution to this. I will post what I come up with and hopefully will have a few more suggestions to read too.

Hooked

The people genuinely interested will be fine if you give them a business card and ask them to make an appointment. I have rarely done readings on the spot unless I sense that the the person is genuine and not out to test or ridicule. I'm also a Massage Therapist and I get this happening all the time when people realise what I do, with comments like "oh I've got a bad neck/back/shoulder, can you give me a quick massage". Nope! never without a consultation first, and never without the right setting, precautions etc and.... payment!

Be ready with an answer for those that you want to do straight away, and those that you don't. People ask for readings in the spur of the moment and that may not suit you, they need to appreciate that.

Hooked on TdM said:

I have so far obliged most of the time, and I've found that really this is about them "testing" me. I get comments about either wow you should read professionally or snarky comments about how they already knew that. Then why ask for a reading? Duh.

Click to expand...

Oh, that has happened to me a gazillon times, Hooked. And it sucks!

I have to control myself, my impulse is actually being very blunt (close to rude). My ex-boyfriend used to criticize me about believing in tarot, and how it was bull****, and yadda yadda, and one day i turned to him possesed by the wrath of God and said: "You DON'T talk about tarot! You just DON'T. Because you have no idea what is it about. You know nothing - you haven't read a single book on tarot, and never, ever got a reading. You are so close-minded and petty sometimes, trying to show off your rationality. I don't need you to save me from my 'foolish beliefs' - they were here already before you arrived. So SHUT UP , because of tarot, you know nothing, and thus you also say nothing. Shut up."

He never opened his mouth to criticize tarot again. Thankfully, my surrent s/o is very interested in Tarot - he even has his own deck .

Of course, i never said that to one of those 'testers' who just want a reading so they can show you what a fool you are. They are just afraid - afraid that you'll know something they don't. When they come with that kind of actitude you mentioned, i look at them bored and nonchalant , letting my eyes tell them that they are wasting my time, and also wasting their saliva.

I know i should probably try to explain them how tarot works, etc etc, but frankly, nowadays i just can't be bored. I've done it a thousand times, and for what? Almost never works - these people are not interested in learning, they interested in joking. I don't need to explain myself, what i do, or what i believe in.

I usually can tell when someone is open-minded for a reading, when they are insecure because they have had bad readings in the past (THESE are the people who deserve our patience) and who is here so the can later tell their friends how tarot is stupid and laugh out aloud. Their loss, anyway. Definitely not keeping me awake at night.

My advice is: don't discuss. Treat them with the level of imbelicity they deserve - if they can't respect, so can't you, and you have more important things to do. You needn't even to speak - your action will tell how concerned you are about their 'tarot testing'.
You don't need to prove yourself to people who won't appreciate your work anyway, Hooked


EDIT: Just to make it clear, before any misunderstanding, i'm talking here specifically about the rude testers, people who ask for a reading so they after it they flaunt and say how it didn't work, how you only told them what they know, or how you didn't guess the color of their underwear right and the like. Unfortunately, i know lots of people like that, and i've been in said situations more times than i'd have liked. It wasn't directed to people who ask for reading out of sheer curiosity because they just found out you read tarot. But even in this case, i think boundaries are necessary.

thanks for starting this thread, been good to read the posts. i have not come out about my tarot interest to many people yet, and i suspect i have a few people who will be a bit like the ones your talking about.

The people i have told so far have surprised me by being supportive and offering to be my guinea pig, but they are genuinly interested.
i dread telling some people about it, i know they will expect a performing monkey.
but its becoming a big part of my life, why hide it!