Mysterious or Human?

I recently did a reading for a client that more or less ended up as a girly chat about her life. After she left I wondered whether or not I might have been better off approaching things differently, maybe keeping a bit more mystery and mystique. It occured to me that she would be more likely to take the advice of 'the wise tarot reader' persona, then the advice of 'a friendly girl'.

Any thoughts and views on this matter would be appreciated.

Sounds like you provided her with what she needed.
Connection is the important thing...you were yourself, you were there for her, as a real person who is also a talented reader. I think you gave her a gift...and you were acting as a mirror for her, showing her something she perhaps forgot. Only you know what kind of mirror you might have been.

If you subscribe to the whole mirror philosophy, what do you think you showed her?

It was one of those cases where she had all her own answers and the cards basically said that. There weren't any surprises and the more she talked the more I realsied that it was a 'reassurance' reading for her.

It did still leave me wondering though about my approach in general. While 'friendly' may be fine for this client because she's been coming to see me for years, I am still wondering about the mysterious vs everyday persona (for want of a better description) in general. How much of an effect does that have on what sitters hear from us and what they take away?

I don't mean this as an insult, but the "mysterious tarot reader" thing is an ego trip, so you did the right thing in just being yourself. You gave her the message the cards had for her and that's your job. The fact that you did that as "just a plain person" was the right thing to do because, after all, you ARE just a plain person----just a plain person who is able to read the messages the cards have for others. And that's how you should continue to do it.

You're probably right, Grizabella. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe its my age (and the fact I look younger then I am) but I often find myself worrying about whether or not I'm being taken seriously as a tarot reader. I remember once being passed over quite a lot at a fair that i read at. I was by far the youngest reader there. The only reader who was constant was the one who had the whole 'mysterious tarot reader' thing going on- even though she was getting the worst reviews of all of us. I know I'm fine once I read, but I worry that the first impression I create isn't exactly a reassuring one for a sitter.

Oh, so you actually know her, she's a regular. Different story FGM.

I've never tried to compete with the Gypsy readers. I'm not a gypsy, tho people tell me I look like a Rom. So, I suppose it would be easy enough to play up, I just have never thought to do it.

I admit, when I'm at fairs, I've always been lucky. My booth is usually busy, but I don't ever do any special advertising or decorations. I just sit there at the table with a few decks and myself. Maybe a crystal or two. If I'm slow I've been known to call out to someone walking by and say, you look like you need a reading. If they're looking my way...seem a bit timid...this will at least get them over to me so I can joke with them a bit and tell them my price.

I've actually also been told that I'm a rarity. A grounded psychic. I've gotten many people who just like good down to earth practical readings. And I've gotten to the point where I feel like if you walk past my booth and you want a reading, and you didn't stop...well two things. One, we just weren't meant to work together. And two, you just missed out on the best reader at the fair.

So maybe that comes across. Because I'm usually the busiest reader at the fair, besides the celebrity psychic if there happens to be one.

How homespun do you appear ? Why don't you play up the Fairy aspect.
It is real for you anyway I think from what I have read.

Liberace was a great pianist but succeeded by his "show biz" extravaganza.
I think he had great fun doing that. I know I would.

I am sure you are an excellent reader but adding a bit of color would be fun if you feel too "down to earth". How do you want to present yourself ? I guess that is the question. Playing a bit is good too !

Just so I don't sound like I speak with a forked tongue, I have to clarify something here. I have a lot of fun dressing in a flashy way. I don't exactly pretend to be a Gypsy (except at Halloween) but I do like to dress in a colorful way. However, I don't pretend to be a mysterious reader. I'm just myself. I think that's the best thing to be and I'm not someone else very convincingly. What we do is mysterious to a lot of people, so we don't have to try to make it so. You can spice up your appearance and make yourself striking and noticeable without having to try to be someone you're not. Having a "girly" talk with someone you're reading for is the kind of reader you're meant to be obviously, so be that, but don't be afraid to also have fun with being a reader, too, by accessorizing yourself and your reading space at fairs.

FaeryGodmother said:

...am still wondering about the mysterious vs everyday persona (for want of a better description) in general. How much of an effect does that have on what sitters hear from us and what they take away?

Click to expand...

Now THIS is a question. Dang near past the thread up (which would lead to applause from some).

See there are these two annoying questions I like to pose.

They ain’t just knee slapper questions, for casual conversation.

Why do you read Tarot (for others).

No, not a nice quippy answer – I mean really – why?

Your answer dictates your approach. Your answer defines who you are as a reader; your answer dictates the deck you use and how your frame your speech towards your sitter.

We cannot tell you to be mysterious, or down to earth – your answer dictates that.

Your answer must also come from the heart. Which is why answer like “I can, and I’m good” are non-answers, get a failing grade, and as such those who feel it’s a good answer should never ever read Tarot for any reasons.

Why do they come to us (for a Tarot reading). The other half of the question.

If you don’t know why you read, or what they sit for – perhaps a little more time should be taken away from the books, and more time with the deck.

Why do they come to us?

Some come for the private campfire, or ghost story experience.

Some need someone to talk to (cuz they have zero friends and zero family and they’ll pay three bucks a minute for a friend).

Some need the Tarot.

Some need the other half of your why do you read statement.

And some are there to feed your soul, some are there to feed off your soul.

If you don’t know – you don’t know what to give them.

As a professional reader, far more is required than a deck and a head full of book knowledge. Ya gotta know yourself – really really well.

And the ONLY way to learn that…is to get out there and read for more strangers and FIND the answers to the questions.

The answers are out there - looking for you.

Human. Real. Full of substance and love and understanding. That is the best, I believe.

I can see thru that mystery garbage in a second. I don't appreciate being condescended to and I wouldn't do it to another. Although as a science experiment it is fun to watch them read. So hokey and creepy.

My best readings are usually friendly and chatty, as well. I usually read what I see but applying it to a specific issue in the sitter's life is sometimes tricky. So if they are not willing to open up a bit then it takes me longer and sometimes I can't go as deeply as I could.

But to Umbrae's point - I read to enlighten and help lighten their load. So if I can offer a personal antidote that will help I go for it. Empathy is very powerful.