The One-Handed Shuffle

What is the sound of one hand shuffling tarot cards? If you lost the use of one hand would you still be able to shuffle?

Would cards picked after one-handed shuffling have 50 percent less validity than two-hand shuffled cards?

I know that you jest rhetorically, but I will answer as if someone was listening.

I believe that shuffling with even a single foot will make a sound that is pleasing to fate, and will produce results that sing with equal validity to the cards that are shuffled by 78 hands, or even 79.

-tb

Indeed, dear Thin Bhudda...

Those were the types of thoughts I was having while swimming under the stars. Immersed in the lighted water under the milky way with stars in my hair. And the evening fog smelled of fish. Fish pee in water, and it mists in the air, and we breathe fish pee.

But then.. what the trees excrete we call air. It is all one big loop tape, like a... like a... MOBIUS STRIP.

Which is when I got to thinking about my friend with the bum hand and whether he might have perfected the one-handed shuffle.

Hence the Question: What is the sound of one hand shuffling?

Dixit the Toaster: Ask the All-Knowing THOTH.

Whoah!

The card revealed (after a two-handed shuffle) was...



The Black and Yellow King holds the hand of the Red and White Queen.

And there it was. The one-handed shuf-shuf-shuffle invites cooperation from a second party.

Back and forth it was shuffled of white and black, of red and yellow, of naked and robed, of child and ruler, of lion and turkey vulture.

(dixit the Toaster: NOT a turkey vulture!)

And The Cloaked One above the mixed-race couples doing their shuf-shuf-shuffle has this marvelous trick up the mobius strip of his sleeves...

(Mobius strip?? There just HAPPENS to be a Mobius Strip in the Lovers card???)

HA! YES! You thought I was making it up, didn't you. How many times have you looked, I mean REALLY looked at this card?



If you stare at the Lover's card long enough it starts to buzz and vibrate and go all twirly whirly.

Even without medicine.

Round and round and round we go, without beginning and without end. And if you try to cut the mobius strip in half the long way, you will just double its size.

The genes are shuffled, and then they separate again to make something utterly miraculously new. Here in the shuffle is introduced the element of chaos.

The Lovers Card... I thought it was a fitting answer to my question.

When the Great & Terrible Maiden of Fire issues an invitation it takes on the force of command to a poor old toad.

Knowing the seriousness of the question I've removed my coursely woven vineyard hat and placed the finest hat I own upon my head - an ultrafino panama fedora, just so the seriousness can penetrate my skull.

Inviting and introducing Chaos to the 'process' is vital whether with one hand or a pair of slimey flippers. Both apt and wise is the Thoth to present VI The Lovers to answer the question regarding sound. VI being a number that cares about everything.

Take a strip of paper about an inch wide, twist it once and tape the ends together. Draw a line down the center of the strip of paper. Shuffling with one hand sounds like that.

Look at the Thoth Lovers card. Right in the center of the frame's bottom edge is a snake wrapped around an egg. Shuffling with one hand sounds like the egg just beginning to crack. Look at the white child holding aloft a shining cup for the queen. He holds grapes in his other hand. Shuffling with one hand sounds like grape juice fermenting into wine. Look at the black child holding out a spear for the king to grasp. Shuffling with one hand sounds like the spear penetrating flesh. Is all of this happening at Seahenge circa 2050BC?

A most illuminating question - many thanks to the Great & Terrible Maiden.

I think perhaps the sound of one hand shuffling is similar to the sound of tadpoles swimming under water. Or is it just like the sound of one hand clapping?

Can you hear it?

The Toaster, the toaster!!

I haven't been swimming in far too long. Please ask the Toaster to meet me tonight at midnight down at the bay...six blocks North of our house. I'm going to leave at a quarter til and walk down there naked, wearing only my neon green glow-in-the-dark tiara, and a purple feather boa. I will obviously be wearing spike heels, but I haven't chosen them yet.

(I said I'd go naked...I did not say I'd go walking down to the ocean looking boring!!!)

Now...speaking of swimming in fish pee...

This lovely Bay of ours is full of rotting layers of thousands of layers of fish guts and such. One or two steps into it you are up to your knees or further in a stinking mush of whatever the ocean has discarded into the Bay.

Very organic, very natural. Somewhat stinky when walking home.

No matter.

Me and the Toaster, tonight at midnight.

'Scuse me...gotta go pick out my heels and find the Lovers Card that I'll be carrying in my left hand.


After my little ritual tonight, I will have learned more about the sound of one hand shuffling...and all of our neighbors will know a little bit more about moi!

It may be that I shall hear the sound of one hand dialing the police to report a naked woman in a neon green tiara and a purple feather boa, limping down towards the ocean in her fabulously painful stiletto heels.

;~)

Wish it were a full moon...for dramatic effect!


Maybe I'll get really lucky and the Firemaiden herself will meet me there.

{She'll probably have better acessories....she's theater folk, ya know!!!}


ETA: I said the Bay was North of our house...I'm a bit dyslexic on direction...even on a freeway that is clearly labeled so it is probably South of our house. Let's just say...I know which way to go in order to find it, even if I can't explain it to you. Besides...why would you be trying to find my house?? Hmmm??

firemaiden said:

Dixit the Toaster

Click to expand...

Since when did the toaster you got for your 500th post have a name? Or is Dixit another toaster?

Great Question!!

I, too, need to know more about the Toaster and the name. I need to get the name right for our date tonight!!

Whoooooohooooo.

Don't anyone tell Andy! Firemaiden....hope it's OK if I borrow your toaster?

And just how shall I address your toaster this evening?

firemaiden said:

What is the sound of one hand shuffling tarot cards? If you lost the use of one hand would you still be able to shuffle?

Click to expand...

Hai – ikaga desu ka? Genki desu. To address koan one needs Ukiyoe Tarot.

Cut with one hand for answer.

Nine Coins. Hachi yen. Little book say, “A favorite Japanese activity of spring is to walk among the fruit trees. The Nine of Pentacles depicts boughs decked in seasonal bloom."

Hai!

Gomen nasai…michi o shitte imaso ka? Annai shite kudasai!

firemaiden said:

Would cards picked after one-handed shuffling have 50 percent less validity than two-hand shuffled cards?

Click to expand...

Iie. Hasu no hana ga saku, sono imi wa ikani? Wakari masu ka?

Arigato.

Umbrae-san. Domo, saikikanpatsu