Tarot Ethics

When I was 13, my grown-up neighbor was a pretty good friend, and she said a couple of things that have really stuck with me: 1) in every situation there must be an adult and 2) be careful what you say - you can speak things into existence.

The second one I take to mean that you can shape people's beliefs and therefore behavior with what you say to them - tell a kid they are terribly smart and they may just work harder at being smart. I'm curious as to the general views of how the impact of what is said in a reading is evaluated from an ethical perspective.

Maybe I should offer an example. I have a friend who is a self-proclaimed witch and psychic. Early in my marriage, she did a reading for me and basically said that my husband was supposed to be a friend and was not my soul mate. To tell the truth, it wasn't the best thing she's ever done for me - I was young and already insecure about these grown-up decisions I was making. To have someone I trusted tell me that I'd married the wrong man was... well, it injected an extra dose of insecurity that I didn't need.

So do you put out there exactly what you see? Or do you temper it with respect to the impact that your words may have?

entropy.

entropy said:

When I was 13, my grown-up neighbor was a pretty good friend, and she said a couple of things that have really stuck with me: 1) in every situation there must be an adult and 2) be careful what you say - you can speak things into existence.

The second one I take to mean that you can shape people's beliefs and therefore behavior with what you say to them - tell a kid they are terribly smart and they may just work harder at being smart. I'm curious as to the general views of how the impact of what is said in a reading is evaluated from an ethical perspective.

Maybe I should offer an example. I have a friend who is a self-proclaimed witch and psychic. Early in my marriage, she did a reading for me and basically said that my husband was supposed to be a friend and was not my soul mate. To tell the truth, it wasn't the best thing she's ever done for me - I was young and already insecure about these grown-up decisions I was making. To have someone I trusted tell me that I'd married the wrong man was... well, it injected an extra dose of insecurity that I didn't need.

So do you put out there exactly what you see? Or do you temper it with respect to the impact that your words may have?

entropy.

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I guess the main question is, "Are you and your husband still together?"

Words are extremely powerful and you need to respect them on so many levels. In the Jewish belief system it is a sin to destroy anything with the word of God. or even with one of the names for God written. That is why many Jews write God, G/d or G-d. I have a friend who will not even delete an email if God is written out completely.

The message you give should always be delivered with consideration for those who hear it. Developing good communication skills is essential for everyone.

Your friend could have told you the same information with softer words and they might have had a different impact on you.

There is a whole study called Transformation Vocabulary that teaches who to soften the blows.

As for words bringing into things into existence, I believe that is 100% truth. The universe is a giant creation machine. It gives us what we ask for. The three ways of creation is Thought, Word, Action. Any one will begin the creation process. All three together is the most powerful.

Gary

we are seperated and have been for 2+ years.

Oh dear. So she got it right but at a time you weren't ready to hear what was said. Unfortunate. Bad luck..... but it was almost certainly well meant, I guess, from a friend - and she may have believed you were mature enough to hear it....

As Gary says - tell the truth but use words that can be heard and accepted. Very hard to do at times.....

She might have been spot on, in witch case it would be healthy for you to cultivate a friendship with this person (the ex) which will grow to be a major source of nurturing for you.

There is a school of thought which states that if you were open enough to the suggestion that this was not your soul mate, then by definition, it wasn't. There is nothing wrong with the outcome, unless you decide there is.

I want my trusted friends to tell me how they see it, not to hedge and candy coat their perceptions. It is very very touchy stuff, mates and partnering.

Seeing yourself as a victim of insensitive methodology might be bringing you more pain than framing what happened as a frank and honest read from a friend.

I'm not saying "don't be sensitive, tell everything" in readings, hjust pointing out that some of the reflection game is yours to choose.

Sometimes what I say to others ends up happening. There's not much thought upon that. An example would be a recent one.... A friend of mine has had no luck finding a job for months. Her unemployment ran out and even her extension on the unemployment (in September). So I said to her to call them and ask if she could get another beings the new law passed for a further extension. She didn't get around to calling but told me a week or so later that a check came in the mail. Though that might not be what you're talking about this seems to happen a lot in my life.


It is true that the universe hears all thoughts, words and watches all actions taken as to why so many state to only think of the positive no matter how bad or crazy life gets. It's very hard at times for most people though, including myself. There was a period where I only thought of the positive and it truly did do wondrous things for me and in my life but then something extremely negative happened and blew my positivity way out the door. It was not caused from all the positive thinking I had done of course. But because of that it has been much harder to get back to where I was.


Sorry... within a reading I tell the client exactly what I see/hear/feel. If I feel that what I get is too harsh for them I give them advice on the subject, but yes.... I speak the truth. That's what they come to me for. If I hold back any information (which I have done in the beginning) they get upset with me for not warning them. So I don't do that anymore.

xx
Vad

I used to give readings at a metaphysical church. Many of the regulars who came there were emotionally needy and not entirely stable individuals. There were also a lot of normal people, but most of the regulars were depressed or paranoid or whatever.

Anyway, I tempered the bad news for these people. Or perhaps I should say I put a positive spin on the bad news by saying things like "things might be tough for a while, but everything happens in cycles and for every down in a cycle, there's an up time."

The last time I gave readings there, the desperation really got to me. Some people hang on your every word. They visit multiple psychics until they get the answers they want to hear. I stopped reading there.

I prefer to be honest, but not everyone can take it. I think it's your job as a reader to try to figure out who is ready to hear the fullness of the message and who is ready only to get a taste of it. It's the difference between "you may experience a time when money is tight" and "you will be living in abject poverty for a while". Both are true, but one is kinder.

You can always ask your clients if they want to hear the whole truth. I also think it's wise to let them know that tarot is a device for bringing insight into a situation and is not necessarily for giving fortunes. They have the power to change their future. The choices they make, whether as a result of a reading or otherwise, are their own responsibility.

entropy said:

we are seperated and have been for 2+ years.

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I am sorry to hear that. I know it sounds hollow, but it really for the best. If you are separated it's because some part of you were sending the universe a message of, "I am not happy in this relationship."

The universe will *always* give us what we desire and ask for. The trick is learning how to ask. The universe is a literal little fu***r. It will give you *exactly* what you ask for.

For example, people always say/think (that is they ask the universe), "I want a million dollars. Things would be better if I had money." So the universe, being the accomodating creature it is gives them exactly what they asked for:

The WANTING of a million dollars. Suddenly you see bills piling up, creditors calling. Your friends are buying new cars or HD Flatscreen TVs and taking vacations.

If those same people would say/think, "How can I increase my financial wealth?" or "I want to start my own business." what different things would the universe show them and bring them?

Gary

I'm not bitter over what she said, and I'm not sold that she was right in this particular instance.

My personal belief is that life is what we make of it. Tarot is good for advice, for reframing one's thinking, or for accessing parts of our brain that are not used in the bianary world, but overall, I think our futures and our lives are what we work for and what we make of them. However, what is said to us, what we hear spoken in the world can shape what it is that we work for and our attitude towards it.

So in my personal situation, absolutely there were reasons we seperated. I think it is equally true that there are reasons we haven't divorced yet. How that shakes out? I don't really know. I hope that we can take the lessons we've learned apart and make something of them. He may not be my soul mate, but he is my heart. It is what it is.

I brought out the example as an illustration of how something spoken has the potential to influence outcome by injecting doubt or confidence... My real question is what other people think of the ethical responsibility is to be mindful of the power of what is spoken and how they practice that in real life. I was hoping to listen in to an esoteric conversation among people who are much more experienced than I am.

I suspect I didn't make that clear in my original posting. Sorry...

(personally, I don't think kindness is EVER wasted.)