Telling too much?

I did a reading for a person who wanted to focus on her career..... I threw the cards with that in mind and spoke about her career but other stuff came up - quite vividly. I read what I saw... I got 3 5s & 8s (swords, wands, cups) temperance, death, emperor, etc! lots of anger and the talk of divorce among other things. I e-mailed the reading and I softened it as best as I could. I didn't mention the talks of divorce but I talk a lot about healing and transforming - bringing in harmony and color, rolling with the punches, transformation - unblocking herself.

The thing is she didn't ask about her personal life - she didn't not ask about it either. There was a connection between personal and professional as there usually is but still when I e-mailed the reading I felt odd about it.... I often feel oddly about e-mailing readings... I prefer the face to face or over the phone interaction - probably because I can gauge my accuracy (my insecurity) But anyway I sent it and I got a very brief response - almost like I exposed her. I feel a bit guilty but I couldn't tell her one thing without telling her the other.

I think this falls under knowing another's business..... what the sitter's don't realize is I don't remember the readings.... right now this one is fresh because I typed it out... but usually I say it and it is gone. I do feel as if I told her too much.....

Well I don't usually do readings for people I don't know. So my two cents is without personal experience. But if you couldn't explain the work question without including the other personal stuff I think you did the right thing. People do need to realize that tarot (among some other things) is a "don't ask unless you really want to know" thing. I never know what will show up when I do readings for friends. So that's what I always tell them the first time I read for them. "Are you sure you want me to read for you? We might get other information than what you're asking about." And if they say yes, well then we go for it.

As for your person, she's probably a bit surprised right now, but I bet she goes back over what you've told her and learns alot from it.

Revealing too much

I sometimes think that how someone else feels is more important when divulging information.... I really am split on this... On the one hand, your querent is looking for outcomes to plan for... If there is something(Or a number of things) this person needs to realize... It came out in the cards...
On the other hand we don't want to send anyone into a tailspin.

In the end, I would probably say something like.... "There are some things that are personal for you and came out in the spread. I get the feeling that these are problem areas and things you may want to look at as they directly affect your career or job." I work very hard at leaving things on a positive note in all interactions. (At least to the best of my ability) I probably would have told her what came out in the cards but prepared her for it.

We cannot address what we cannot see....

franniee said:

I did a reading for a person who wanted to focus on her career..... I threw the cards with that in mind and spoke about her career but other stuff came up - quite vividly. I read what I saw... I got 3 5s & 8s (swords, wands, cups) temperance, death, emperor, etc! lots of anger and the talk of divorce among other things. I e-mailed the reading and I softened it as best as I could. I didn't mention the talks of divorce but I talk a lot about healing and transforming - bringing in harmony and color, rolling with the punches, transformation - unblocking herself.

The thing is she didn't ask about her personal life - she didn't not ask about it either. There was a connection between personal and professional as there usually is but still when I e-mailed the reading I felt odd about it.... I often feel oddly about e-mailing readings... I prefer the face to face or over the phone interaction - probably because I can gauge my accuracy (my insecurity) But anyway I sent it and I got a very brief response - almost like I exposed her. I feel a bit guilty but I couldn't tell her one thing without telling her the other.

I think this falls under knowing another's business..... what the sitter's don't realize is I don't remember the readings.... right now this one is fresh because I typed it out... but usually I say it and it is gone. I do feel as if I told her too much.....

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Well the querent didn't ask about their personal life, but the universe had some things it wanted her to know and it showed up in the cards. She (he?) was meant to have that info or it would not have come up. And if he was meant to have it then it will benefit her in the long run.

Well there is no way to be a reader and to not know other's business. That's what being a reader is all about, We are sent info to pass on. A lot of it can be personal. I don't personally think of it as knowing another's business though. I just think I am providing a much needed service. The universe has pertinent info it wants the querent to know that will help them.

The way I see it, I am offering to become the link between them. The universe sends me the right cards to give them that info and I initerpret and give it to them. I tend to focus more on the helping aspect than on what I "know" . I don't even think of it as something I know because as soon as the reading is done I tend to forget it all. I never think of it again and I rarely remember it really.

When we start a reading we never know what will come up or how personal it will be. But my idea is we are meant to tell them what we see. The info we see in the reading consists of messages they are meant to have and we are the "medium" through which the universe sends them what they need to hear.

You can always warn someone before a reading that you can no idea what may come up and some of it may be personal and ask them if they are ok with that, if that helps...If they have no problem with you knowing personal things then it needn't be a problem for you...

All you have to do is say what you see that yuo feel is part of the message. No more and also no less. Just give the message as you received and felt it.

Just my thoughts...

Babs

I always tell people when doing readings for them that they get the information they need, which is not always what they want.

I say what i see and sometimes that not what people want to see. dont feel guilty about telling what she was meant to hear...sometimes people want to shoot the messenger, sometimes they want to hug them.

Usually I am fine... but this time I know she didn't want me in there but yet it came up.... I couldn't not tell her. I am wondering if I picked a more specific spread if I could have reduced the chance of it.... but I think it would have come up no matter what.... I know I did the right thing by telling her....

Franniee,

You know,....... you are who you are. Plain and simple, you read. You get the message from the cards and from "out there." Sometimes it ain't pretty. Sometimes it is beautiful. Sometimes people like your client need to hear WTF is really going on with their lives and need to have the blinders taken off,............perhaps bluntly. Personally, I feel that the Universe tests us constantly, to see how we will react and how we will deal with the giving of the message. But that is what it is,......a message. They came to you with hopes of getting a fluffy answer and instead she got what the Universe wants, needs for her to hear. It is up to her to take the message given and go with it or not. I am not saying we need to totally disengage from the client and not care about how the message is given or delivered. I am say that at some point, our responsibility for giving the message (softened or not), has to end and we need to find where that line is.

Of course, tomorrow I may feel totally different about this and think ' How the hell could I have written that?' But it is what I feel now,......love ya babe, and don't beat yourself up on this.

I think one of the hardest things we learn to do while reading is to suspend the voice of doubt, and censoring ourselves and what we receive. Because you were able to simply pass along what the reading wanted to be about, I think you did a highly commendable job of reading.

Sometimes I have readings that seem to veer wayyyyy off course from the sitter's question, but as others said above, it really can be the reading she was meant to get, and needed to get, but not the one she thought she "wanted".

If the information was there then she was meant to have it. It would have been a disservice not to include those aspects. She may not appreciate it now but will remember it as things come to pass. I wouldn't be surprised if you heard from her again for a reading to follow this one up.

franniee said:

The thing is she didn't ask about her personal life - she didn't not ask about it either. There was a connection between personal and professional as there usually is but still...

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Yup. Like when they ask about love and you get nothing but career cards (and some readers go on about an affair at work - sheesh!) its telling us (the reader) something. Perhaps one is more important than the other, one will influence the other...

I always go with the cards. Obviously in this person's life, their "personal life is going to spill over and affect their career".

One sentence (between the quotes), is all you need. Its not a hint - it is potent.

Tell too much - but be succinct. There's no need to get wordy. page and a half in twelve point font is too much. One sentence is about right.