Cats are magical creatures. They're also vicious, cold-blooded killers with style. They have softer coats and sweeter breath than dogs, and feel wonderful when they curl up in your lap (after the sadistic kneading ends, they just can't help themselves). This is all designed to hypnotise you into ignoring the vicious, cold-blooded killer within.
Cats rule the universe. Ever read the book "The Truth about cats"? Do yourself a favour - get it. It may be in the children's section, although it is deeply philosophical and designed for adults. For some reason, the moment you write a book by drawing pics everywhere, everyone seems to think it's for kids. And forget the spin-off movie "The Truth about Cats and Dogs" - that was just a mistake from beginning to end.
Cats rule the universe. Scientists have showed that a bored cat, a cat with nothing to occupy its time, will sleep twenty hours a day. Not all of that is needed sleep - my cats all tended to sleep less than I did, and hardly ever napped when I was awake because they danced attendance on me.
Sleeping twenty hours a day give you a lot - and I mean a *lot* - of time on the astral plane. It brings you closer to Godhood. you know that look of boredom that cats give to much of human activity? that look says "silly bipeds - one day you'll learn." You know that look they give you when you're meditating, or processing food, or reading Tarot, or dancing in trance? that look says "Now you've got it, we always knew you could!"
But of course, cats play with (and destroy) paper products - it's because paper is impossible to find in the wild. And as to Tarot cards - there might be interesting living things hiding under them that need torturing to death. And they're made of paper, so they have to be eradicated and returned to the earth as compost. And they deflect the servants' attentions from them. And ... and ... and ...