Do you tell the querent?

I did a relationship spread for someone a while ago. In the postion of how the man felt about the querent I got the Tower. I drew a clarifier, the Lovers. I think this is quite obvious: he has fallen in love with her and it has hit him like a bolt out of the blue.

My question is: when you read for others, do you tell the querent that any cards drawn for a third party are necessarily filtered through the querent's own perceptions, which could technically mean that the cards are not as spot-on as they may seem? (I don't want this to become a discussion about the ethical aspects of third-party readings, please.)

I know that I personally tell all of the people that I have read for, especially my friends who might not be completely convinced of the power of Tarot cards, but are open enough to want a reading that when asking about other people - it's always filtered. I don't know the people that I might ask on and if I do, the energy will still be based off of the person who asked the question.

It does not mean that the cards are off - it means that the cards are answering the querent's questions based on what is currently known in the querent's mind. The cards give us what we ask for in some instances (well, what we need), but it will be filtered to our own experiences I feel and the cards would indicate otherwise, if necessary.

Just my two cents.

And then again, no one or anything (besides God or whoever higher power that people believe in) is 100% accurate.

BrightEye said:

I did a relationship spread for someone a while ago. In the postion of how the man felt about the querent I got the Tower. I drew a clarifier, the Lovers. I think this is quite obvious: he has fallen in love with her and it has hit him like a bolt out of the blue.

My question is: when you read for others, do you tell the querent that any cards drawn for a third party are necessarily filtered through the querent's own perceptions, which could technically mean that the cards are not as spot-on as they may seem? (I don't want this to become a discussion about the ethical aspects of third-party readings, please.)

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I don't tell the querent that any cards drawn for a third party are filtered through their perceptions because I don't personally believe that to be true. We all have our own understanding of how the cards work of course, but that is not part of my belief system on Tarot.

To me I am not connecting with the querent's energy at all. But to me I am just the intermediary. I ask the answer of my higher powers who know everything past, present and future (I personally view this higher power as my angels) and they send me the answer that they want me to pass on to the querent. In my view of things the querent's energy does not enter into the equation at all. I just tell my higher powers that "X" (the querent) would like an answer and they send me the answer to give her/him.

That is my view of it anyway,

Babs

I wouldn't say filtered; I don't use terms like that. But I would say something along the lines of the things I saw about the querent would be more reliable than any I saw about a third party, if only because that third party is not there (either in person or "with me" for the reading) with their vibes, as you might say. That's the best way I can explain it. That said - I did once pick up most if the stuff about a third party and apologised to my sitter for this. Then again - I had some background knowledge, which may have made a difference...

That said - I can see the point that someone desperate to know about some one else in a relationship may by their own vibes colour what I pick up.... I might well say something about that too, if it felt right.

No. I tell them that the cards present what they should know. It applies across the board.

I would proberly say something in terms of "you are taking them by storm, leaving them struck with love and no idea what to do with it" asking them what they want out of it and draw another "how to go about it card" and give them the answer of .. take it a bit easy, make it clear, go forward or something like that .. making the 3rd party cards a 1st person cards telling them, what they contribute and make of it.

bec said:

I would proberly say something in terms of "you are taking them by storm, leaving them struck with love and no idea what to do with it" asking them what they want out of it and draw another "how to go about it card" and give them the answer of .. take it a bit easy, make it clear, go forward or something like that .. making the 3rd party cards a 1st person cards telling them, what they contribute and make of it.

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This is an interesting thing to consider next time. Thanks. I don't know if I'm overthinking this, but what if the cards for the third person mirror the querent's wishes and are distorted in that way? What if the Tower and the Lovers are the 'wrong' cards? Would the question about what the querent can do about it not be based on the wrong assumptions? Or will the cards indeed tell them what they need to know/do?

Third Party Cards

Though I avoid spreads that focus on third party actions or motivations, sometimes the information presents itself despite my intention. I usually let the cards communicate the news suggesting to the querant potential meanings including what the cards might be saying about the lover, friend or family member.

Most of the time, the hidden truth revealed by the cards has been something that the querant already knows at some level. The cards merely shine a light on knowledge that is suppressed or denied. The reaction of my friend or acquaintance is relief at having a chance to face the issue squarely.

However, I have generated some hot reactions with this approach. The mere suggestion of potential betrayal, indifference or even strong devotion of another is anathema to the querant. I am still working to find the right way through these uncomfortable moments so that I am true to the what the cards represent without delivering news for which the querant is not ready.

I would love to learn how experienced readers, as many of you are. soften the blow without abandoning honesty.

BrightEye said:

This is an interesting thing to consider next time. Thanks. I don't know if I'm overthinking this, but what if the cards for the third person mirror the querent's wishes and are distorted in that way? What if the Tower and the Lovers are the 'wrong' cards? Would the question about what the querent can do about it not be based on the wrong assumptions? Or will the cards indeed tell them what they need to know/do?

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Well I never read 3rd party cards .. but when reading love and relation for 1st person, there is bound to be some 3rd party issues on the table as well.

If the cards mirror the 1st person, other cards around should give the reader some kind of indication .. something should or would be "wrong" in the cards .. always leaving the reader a way to show them how querent intervene or effect the situtation.

If I get a straigth question like "how does he feel?"

My answer would be "honey I dont need cards for that, go and ask him "

bec said:

If I get a straigth question like "how does he feel?"

My answer would be "honey I dont need cards for that, go and ask him "

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Things are not always as straightforward as that. Sometimes people tell you that they hate you, but you know that they don't. Or they say they don't give a flying ferret's left bollock, and it's not true.