how do you tell a sitter this?

Have you ever read for someone and the cards reveal that maybe person you are reading for isn't a very nice person (for lack of a better term) and that maybe they are the problem? I read for a man (non ATer) who asked me a simple question about finances. Rather than simply answering the question, the message I got actually went onto to hold the sitter responsible for their situation...and from the cards drawn, I even got the feeling that the sitter may have cheated those around him. Obviously, I couldnt say that. I could be wrong, after all.

However, even if I knew for sure that I was 100% correct, I still wouldnt be able tell a sitter something like that. So I gave him a really vague answer, hoping that he wouldn't ask too many questions. In a situation like this, I think I would rather just act like I couldnt understand the cards rather than tell the sitter what i really saw. I'd even rather have the sitter think the reading was wrong than tell them what I really saw. Yes, I realize that's probably the wrong way to handle something like this. But how exactly do you tell someone that based on the cards you drew, you think they may be a cheat, or a liar, or whatever the case may be? i have no clue, which is why I turn to you.

ETA: And yes, I do realize that this post goes against everything I've said in the past about seeing myself as just a messenger and telling the sitter everything i saw in the cards. Now I realize that sometimes, you just cant tell everything you see

olivia1 said:

Have you ever read for someone and the cards reveal that maybe person you are reading for isn't a very nice person (for lack of a better term) and that maybe they are the problem?

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I happen to believe *everyone* is a very nice person. Okay, there are a lot of people I don't love passionately, and a few I dislike, but isn't that just my own intolerance finding its way out? After all, there isn't a human being who isn't like me in that they are dealing with the hand that life, their genetics and their circumstances have dealt for them, in the best - or the only - way they know.

There are a lot of people out there who make choices I don't like and wouldn't make. Does that make me god? I don't think so.

As a reader, you need to deal with the client and their relationship to their situation and what the cards say about it. Your own emotions about the client and their behaviours, and the choices you would make if you were in their position, are completely beside the point.

And yes, your sitter, just like me and just like you, IS responsible not so much for their situation, but wholly for how they react to it, and whether they make the best of it or wallow in the worst of it.

nisaba said:

There are a lot of people out there who make choices I don't like and wouldn't make. Does that make me god? I don't think so.

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you misunderstood. Its not about my feelings. To be honest, I could care less if someone stole, lied, or did whatever if it doesnt affect me personally. I need to know how to tell a sitter politely (if there's even a way to) that from the cards I drew that they may have stolen, lied to someone, ect and i get the feeling that their actions is what is causing their problems.

Or would other readers just act like they didnt see anything in the cards that suggest that? Personally, Im not attached to any of the people I read for enough to want to lecture them or take an interest in how they chose to lead their lives. That's their business. I usually try to tell people what I see, but I dont exactly know how to tell someone the cards suggested that they may have cheated someone without offending.

olivia1 said:

but I cant exactly tell someone the cards suggested that they may have cheated someone...

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...But you can say, if it's not inconsistent with the cards in front of you, that the cards suggest that they might like to make ethical choices in the future and perhaps make amends for any less than perfect choices they may have made in the past.

nisaba said:

...But you can say, if it's not inconsistent with the cards in front of you, that the cards suggest that they might like to make ethical choices in the future and perhaps make amends for any less than perfect choices they may have made in the past.

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Thanks, this is perfect I wish I asked this question before I sent him his reading. I'll keep this in mind in the future.

Everything has to do with your own communication skills. You keep focused on what the sitter can do, not on what's wrong with the sitter or the situation.

You end up sending the message.

I had a client who, as it turned out a year later, really wanted to rush into marriage, so she could get pregnant, because she felt her clock ticking.

I didn't like her...she's the one who make a host of phone calls before the reading.

Anyhow, during our interaction, I kept focusing on the things that she needed to keep uppermost in her mind and actions. She really wanted me to tell her how to get this man to propose....I found this out later.

I told her that life can't be rushed. That sometimes we want things very badly, and we don't get them, but only in being patient and focusing on what is in front of us and doing our best, will we walk into our answers and solutions.

I said that I sensed she was used to being in control and to being able to get what she wanted when she wanted it...but that sometimes, no matter how much we "work it," so to speak, we don't get what we want, but if we put energies into our own well-being, our day-to-day work, we do end up getting what we need.


This happens often in readings....so, instead of having to talk about a person cheating....maybe the cards are asking them to pay special attention to honesty, integrity and truth in all of their dealings...

Think about the words...think about what the person can focus on, not on what is "wrong" with them. We all have things that are "wrong" with us in some ways, but when someone tells me I need to chill a little, even that's a little better than telling me I'm acting like a b****.

The interaction, the process, involve first and foremost very honed communication skills.

We don't always get it right, but this is a good goal. Sometimes I get frustrated with sitters and want to just tell them as I see it...but I get to the same end-game, if I am patient.

terri

JMHO

olivia1 said:

Have you ever read for someone and the cards reveal that maybe person you are reading for isn't a very nice person (for lack of a better term) and that maybe they are the problem?

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Yes, I read for a man that can be very nasty.
When I did his last reading he asked me about the money.
I took the 3 Swords and looked right into his eyes and said
"there is no money...you have a broken heart"
He does have money and he was looking at the business but
there were not a lot of coins in a general reading and what was
strong...3 Swords.

I have to stay very grounded with these strong personality types.
They are focused on maybe what they want or need other than
who they are ???



When things come up in a reading about them not being nice...
I try to take the negative and turn it into the positive. Also,
I say to them "try not to or be ..." whatever the card is.

I'm a Libra, so diplomacy is my forte. I sugarcoat it, but I tell sitters the nasty truths. I don't avoid them just because I don't want the sitter to "not like me."

Culpability is an important lesson, and being afraid of being blamed for being the bearer of bad tidings is part and parcel of reading.

It's also difficult when Tarot asks you to be the Mirror, and the sitter must look in that Mirror and face themselves. Some folks would rather break the sh#t out of the Mirror instead of seeing their own flaws and responsibilities.

But I would still tell them so.

I once had a horrible man I read for, who stalked people (I later found out his exwife had a restraining order on him, and he was sending her my readings regarding their relationship). I told him that he had to face his part, and I told him that his Guides were so pissed off and fed up, they were ready to revolt on their spiritual "assignment" over him. Only time I ever EVER had that impression, but I gave it away in the reading, because I believe in giving away everything that I'm given in the reading process.

Result? He turned on me and got angry at me. *shrug* I quit reading for him, he disappeared into the psycho network.

Tarot is a great Mirror, like I said.

i have foot in mouth syndrome so i especially in readings speak before my brain gets in the way.

I have had to tell lots of people that its their own fault the situation they are in, that no he isnt going to drop his g/f for her, that she isnt interested and thinks your a bit of a stalker, yes he is cheating on you etc

I have a disclaimer at the start of readings that i will say what i see, diplomacy has never been my forte, and i think its one of the strengths i have as a reader...gets me into trouble sometimes, but i dont regret it. I would wish the same from a reader as i am direct, i want the reader to be direct to me...but i understand that different people like different reading styles