Reading less for myself...

Hi guys,

Last year, because life got kinda rough, i stopped reading tarot altogether. Reading for myself was confusing, and for the others, even more so. I lost all the faith i had in myself as a reader, and couldn't understand a one-card reading to save my life!

So i put all my deck in a drawer and forgot about them for almost one year, as i tried to manage life the best way i could.

Now i have returned...i'm feeling better, leaving the tower behind. I'm living a Star moment, i guess. I'm learning again, with a bit more of wisodm this time (i hope), not being so hard on myself...

But i've noticed one thing: i haven't done a single reading to myself since i started studying tarot again. I have many doubts and questions, but for some reason, i don't feel the need to consult the tarot. Actually, nowadays, i feel much more like reading to the others than to myself.

And i prefer other people reading to me as well.

I remember when i started, many years ago- i only read to myself. And i consulted the tarot to answer every single question. Now...i don't feel like. Sometimes i'm thinking about a problem i have an tell myself "i could do a reading about it". But in the end, i don't. If possible, i ask a friend to read for me (i have one friend that reads as well).

I was wondering if this has happened to others. All of sudden, you realize that you have not been reading for yourself so much. Is this a common path in the tarot-learning process? Could it hinder my learning, as lack of practice?

I think i had such a horrible experience with the tarot last year, reading to myself, that i got sorta traumatized...lol .

Hi Marina I am sorry that you had a hard year. I am glad that things are better now. I am new to reading Tarot for anyone. lol I was told by a friend that has been reading for 40 years that I shouldn't read for myself. I did start off doing so and still do sometimes. I just don't read for major things because to be honest... I think I am too conflicted emotionally. They sometimes make sense and seem clear. Then other times they don't make any sense at all. These are the times when I am emotionally upset/conflicted/or wanting a certain outcome to the question. I just decided for major things like that, I would just ask someone else to do the reading for me. I have also noticed that they may pick up on things that I wouldn't have because they aren't so emotionally invested. This isn't saying reading for oneself is right or wrong, but rather I am trying to explain why "I" don't do it for major things.


I think since you feel comfortable reading for other people then why not do that for practice. The Reading Exchange board is a great place to do just that too. I am been so grateful for that board and for all the people that let me practice on them. I have been pretty busy lately, but will start again once life has calmed down more.


I am sure you will get more advice and suggestions as there are many friendly and helpful people on this forum. Good luck to you! Don't give up! Just jump back in and have fun!

BeyondtheVeil

Marina said:

But i've noticed one thing: i haven't done a single reading to myself since i started studying tarot again. I have many doubts and questions, but for some reason, i don't feel the need to consult the tarot. Actually, nowadays, i feel much more like reading to the others than to myself.....
I was wondering if this has happened to others.

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Yup! though probably for different reasons.

When I'm doing a lot of dream interpretation, I tend to dream less myself - it's as if I'm doing the dreamwork I need by proxy.

And when I'm reading Tarot I don't seem to need readings, although I sometimes swap with a friend because she enjoys reading for me and she's never read for anyone before who had any knowledge of Tarot, so she uses me as a bit of a learning resourse too, at times.

I think if you're working with A Particular Thing, tehn you;re exposed to That Particular Thing anyway, so there is less call to pull it out specifically for yourself.

And yes, even spending time here, reading and writing is Tarot work of a different kind.

First of all; glad you're back in the tarot universe!

I do fewer and fewer readings for myself, largely through lack of time, but I feel that recently Ive made a bit of a breakthrough with the Thoth and Im back to feeling that with readings for myself, I can get answers that really respond to what Im asking. You could call it a Thoth epiphany! Maybe it's a question of the system you're tired with? (Just a thought).

Ive felt this. I did a reading for someone recently (I know you asked about reading for yourself but this is just an example!) and used the RWS because I always read well with it and it helps when reading for others to use a deck you're used to and know like the back of your hand. However, I sat and stared and nothing came, it just seemed to say nothing. Switched to the Thoth and - boom - like a dream...

Yesterday I did an elaborate spread for the year for myself (with my Victorian Romantic Gold for positive meanings and Bohemian Gothic silver for the darker meanings!). I made notes and what is interesting is looking again at the notes throughout the year and seeing what they're speaking about. I did this last year and it was a very interesting exercise. But I just know that on a day to day level, the little things I really want to know, Im going more and more to the Thoth. But definitely less frequently.

Hi Marina and glad things are looking better in your world.

I find now that I infinitely prefer to read for others than for myself. In fact I cannot think that I have thrown a card on my own behalf in months. And even then I think it was brief, maybe one card.

And I am not sure why, I still trust them and know they would answer if I asked. It may just be a natural cycle.

Alta

I have started to read more often for myself (general stuff) i don't know if there is a connection but since doing so -plus a growing interest in other work- I have wanted to read for others less (?) even wanting to give up reading for others, i have stopped working twice a week cut down the amount of times i read for others to 3 times a month.
Thing is i am now bombarded ,it seems since i started wishing to slow down/stop reading for others ,i have six times as many appointments, i have been the last to leave the market places i work by an extra 2 hours and have done up to 15 readings in a day which i find exhausting !

Glad things are better for you now.

Actually, I've realized that I read less for myself now as well. As a beginner, I read for myself a lot more. I read on everything under the sun.

Last year, I remember doing several readings for myself because it felt like chaos.

This year, I'm trying to rely on outside sources less and rely on myself more. Find solutions to my own situations or handle things better on my own. This is not to say I won't ask for help when I need it, but not having to lean on someone or something too often.

This year, I've been busy so I don't make much time for Tarot. I've acquired a new interest so it's taking up Tarot time. Namely, astrology. I haven't read much for others or myself, but when I do start reading again, I hope to read for others more.

I don't think it could hinder your learning at all. As you well know, reading for yourself isn't the only way to practice.

Hello everyone!

Thank you for your answers

BeyondtheVeil said:

I just don't read for major things because to be honest... I think I am too conflicted emotionally. They sometimes make sense and seem clear. Then other times they don't make any sense at all. These are the times when I am emotionally upset/conflicted/or wanting a certain outcome to the question. I just decided for major things like that, I would just ask someone else to do the reading for me. I have also noticed that they may pick up on things that I wouldn't have because they aren't so emotionally invested.

Click to expand...

Yes, i last year i felt like that. The more i tried to read, the less anything make sense. Nowadaus, altought i have still many questions, i just don't feel like using the tarot for that. It isn't even because i think i won't get a clear reading...i just don't do it. Maybe it could be some kind of inner blockage?

Then again, i've been reading more for others, which is good. I've always been afraid of it, and now i have no choice. I either read for other or i don't read at all :/

Nisaba said:

I think if you're working with A Particular Thing, tehn you;re exposed to That Particular Thing anyway, so there is less call to pull it out specifically for yourself.

And yes, even spending time here, reading and writing is Tarot work of a different kind.

Click to expand...

Yes, it as if your mind started working so intensily about tarot and the many ways to use it that all of sudden reading for yourself isn't so urgent. You find different ways to study it. I've been even keeping a journal, which i have been always lazy about doing.

Le Fanu said:

I do fewer and fewer readings for myself, largely through lack of time, but I feel that recently Ive made a bit of a breakthrough with the Thoth and Im back to feeling that with readings for myself, I can get answers that really respond to what Im asking. You could call it a Thoth epiphany! Maybe it's a question of the system you're tired with? (Just a thought).

Click to expand...

I never managed to use the Thoth very well, i'll have to find another breakthrough deck i guess
Well, i don't know what could be the reason...actually, i've been using the decks that i have always used: Mythic, Enchanted, Atalla...instead of trying new decks, i've been sticking to the oldies in my collection. Maybe i should try reading for myself using a completely different deck & method, to see if i am more inspired...thanks for the suggestion, hadn't thought about it! h, and i really liked reading about your experience

Alta said:

I find now that I infinitely prefer to read for others than for myself. In fact I cannot think that I have thrown a card on my own behalf in months. And even then I think it was brief, maybe one card.

And I am not sure why, I still trust them and know they would answer if I asked. It may just be a natural cycle.

Click to expand...

Good to see that i'm not alone . Yes, i haven't thrown a card for me for more than a year, since i abandoned tarot last time. I only get readings for me in exchanges and when practicing with a friend.

But differently from you, i'm not sure if i'd understand the reading if i tried to read to myself. I'm not feeling very tranquil about it...seems like i'm blocked. Doesn't feel like a natural thing, but more like some sort of fear. Don't know if i can really explain the feel, but it was as if i had forbidden myself of doing so for a reason i still don't understand why.

Not that i need so badly a reading right now, but i don't want to stay blocked. I want to think that if i need to read for myself, i still can do it. But i don't feel like that,

Gypsyspell said:

Thing is i am now bombarded ,it seems since i started wishing to slow down/stop reading for others ,i have six times as many appointments, i have been the last to leave the market places i work by an extra 2 hours and have done up to 15 readings in a day which i find exhausting !

Click to expand...

Yes, reading too much for others can be exhausting. But i'm not that professional yet . I still don't read that much.

lilangel09 said:

Actually, I've realized that I read less for myself now as well. As a beginner, I read for myself a lot more. I read on everything under the sun.

(...)

This year, I'm trying to rely on outside sources less and rely on myself more. Find solutions to my own situations or handle things better on my own. This is not to say I won't ask for help when I need it, but not having to lean on someone or something too often.

Click to expand...

Yes, that has happened to me too. I used to answer all questions using the tarot. And last year it almost drove me mad (if i find my posts here of the time before i left i'm sure many of them sound pretty desperate).
But now, it seems that i am managing my life well without having to turn to the cards to clarify every single doubt. I can live with the doubt nowadays.

What has been bothering me is this feeling of blockage. It's not "i don't want to read for myself" but rather "i can't read for myself" as if someone had brainwashed me with one of those tarot myths that tell you that you must not read for yourself

I occasionally used to try those one-card pulls but I got scared too often by the problematic cards, and I admit I'm a coward. It's been ages since I've had anyone read for me, any form of divination. I do read for myself using specific medium-sized (at least) spreads that are either general or focused on an area of life and not on a timeline basis (and NEVER on an area of life that's particularly troublesome to me at the moment!!). Some things I just don't want to know.

But, as I implied above, I do like spreads that tell me where my head is at, what I should be doing instead of sitting on my butt, etc. Needless to say, for myself the Celtic Cross is Right Out!!

I know exactly how you feel.

I broke up with my ex in April after nearly three years together. It was quite an abusive relationship to say the least, and I lost a lot of myself while in it. After a few months of being with him I stopped dancing, singing, writing, reading, dreaming and doing tarot. Basically all the creative things you can do.

Two days after breaking up with him, I was singing and dancing along with the radio, daydreaming and bringing my old decks out of hiding. I have yet to start writing again, but I'm close.

I learnt a valuable lesson - never give up who you are for someone else.

I'm glad you are feeling better and are using tarot again

Emily x