How much do you say?

Now try as I might, I just cannot seem to muster up enough words to do face to face readings. I avoid doing them, even when friends beg, cos I know I will freeze in the head and not get more than a couple of sentances out on each card....

How much do you all say when doing readings......do you keep them short or are you able to ramble on for ages...

Ang x

Ange, I can SO relate to that! I guess it is worse when reading for friends or relatives. It may have something to do with expectations. For some reason, reading for strangers has proven to be MUCH easier. Have you tried that already?

I don't think you ought to say a lot to make the reading good.

It's better a couple of sentences that actually say something than a gallon of useless blabber

That said, i too sometimes have a "frozen Windows" moment while reading to others. My mind freezes and i can't access the information, so start stuttering like a fool . I think it has to do with expectation (like Ana Luisa said) and with anxiety.

I believe that the more you read for others, the less panicked you get when you have to do a face to face reading. Only practice makes the reading more fluid, i guess.

I put my mouth on automatic and say whatever comes out.

nisaba said:

I put my mouth on automatic and say whatever comes out.

Click to expand...

ditto. I realized with face to face, it's actually easy because most of the time (from my experience) they just want answers. They don't necessarily care for frills. They don't ask me how I came up with an answer ("why did you interpret that card that way?"), so I don't tell. I just give them the message as I see it in the cards.

I noticed that as long as I answer their question (and it resonates with them) they're satisfied. There doesn't really seem to be a time minimum on speaking. From what I noticed, most of these people just want someone to talk to, anyway. So I give them their reading/message from the cards and listen to them vent about their situation. Then they ask another question, I give them their reading and that's it. I think once you do face to face, you might actually prefer it to online readings. It's gratifying to give a face to the sitter and see their expressions (awe mixed with gratitude that someone understands and can help them) when you give them a good reading.

I think it is good to be aware of a time frame, say a reading goes for 20min.
My style of reading is very conversational,like talking to a friend, or any stranger you have just met, at times and in this context there are non-verbal clues ,(when they start to glaze over you are talking to much) -joking-
Sometimes you may be asked to expand on a thought or idea ,same as in conversation ,just try to relax i think,with time this becomes easier .

I think it's absolutely natural. Some folks get talkative under pressure (and let's face it, reading f2f puts you under pressure), some folks get all quiet and just like to think. I'm in the latter group. Once I get over the initial shock of actually having to say something (cause I'm the reader) I'm really scarce with words and tend to talk in circles. It's hard work for me to get out of that tight circle and find "new" things, additional stuff to tell.

What has helped me a great deal was singing. There's equal pressure when you go on stage (or simply perform in front of your family) and I usually don't like it. But I promised and so I do. I have to open my mouth and talk (well, sing). Knowing I have to get over my stage fright and face the music frees me and I'm on autopilot. The frame stays the same, I know the songs I'm singing, I know the piano player, the stage, the room acustics. What I don't know is how the performance will unfold.

Reading the cards is the same. The concert is the situation with your client, the reading he wants from you. Know you have to get over the freeze and face it, because the techniques are the same. You know your deck, you know that you know about tarot, you know the spread, you know the person (even if it's just since the last 5 minutes). You don't know how the reading will unfold, but that's ok.

The techniques stay the same, the performances keep changing.

Maybe singing can help you, Ange, but in the end you have to find your own trigger that helps you to shut down your brain (the fear your brain experiences and the stage fright) and helps you to just do it.

Astraea Aurora

I relay the message the cards have for that person. It might take longer sometimes than at others, but there are things I don't do:

~I don't tell the sitter every single thing I've ever learned about a card to show how well I know my cards.

~I don't tell anything about the history of Tarot. Sitters definitely haven't ever asked me about that. (Maybe I should add "yet" to that, but it doesn't seem likely.)

~I just use the deck that's my choice at that time. Choices of decks may be okay for others, but I find people are more interested in answers to their questions than anything else and I get those answers best with the deck I use most so that's what I do.

~I don't put myself in the position of becoming bestest buddy to the sitter (well, unless I am, but you know what I meant) because it can so easily turn unhealthy. A reader can be compassionate, conversational and empathetic without it turning personal.

~I don't put myself into the category of behaving as a professional, licensed counselor because I'm not one.

~I don't give advice that's not in the cards.

I just keep it centered on the sitter, what the deck has to say, and being a good listener, mostly.

It really just depends.

Sometimes the cards have a lot to say. Let's say, just for example, I'm going a three-card spread and I draw The Lovers, the Two of Cups and Temperance. There's going to be a lot I can say about that reading, because the cards would mesh together well and enhance one another seamlessly. But if it was a more choppy reading...like, say...The Devil, Nine of Cups, 4 of Wands, I would probably talk less and the querent would probably talk more, just because of my reading style. I tend to ask questions a lot and have the sitter fill in a lot of blanks and help make the reading more personal and more fitting, so when I'm having trouble stringing the cards together, I talk less and my sitter talks more.

That being said, sometimes less really is more. If you make a reading wordy, your sitter is going to have a lot more 'stuff' to try to remember, which means that most of the more important things are going to get lost of overlooked. If you keep things short and concise and focused, your sitter is going to leave knowing exactly what you said and what was important.

Maybe you could try reading for yourself, but doing the reading out loud. You know, pretend that you're reading for an invisible person (an imaginary friend, if you will). That would get you used to talking about the cards out loud, and get you thinking on the spot. I actually read for stuffed animals, my cats, one of the dogs, inanimate objects, etc. regularly, just to keep myself thinking and looking at the cards in a new way.