Mercury in Cancer

Hi guys, this is my first posting in the Astrology forum, hope I'm doing so correctly!

I'm wondering how to understand a Leo with his Mercury in Cancer better. My Mercury is in Aries, so as you can expect, we misunderstand each other quite often. Sometimes I feel like he's SO incredibly sensitive that I can't be my usual brash self (I'm an Aries sun).

Any tips? How can I get him to understand me better? My moon is in Taurus, so I thought that should help.. but so far, I'm still second-guessing myself when it comes to "reading" him.


My chart:

Sun: Aries
Moon: Taurus
Mercury: Aries
Venus: Aries
Mars: Gemini
Jupiter: Gemini
Saturn: Capricorn
Uranus: Capricorn
Neptune: Capricorn
Pluto: Scorpio

His chart:

Sun: Leo
Moon: Sagittarius
Mercury: Cancer
Venus: Leo
Mars: Leo
Jupiter: Aries
Saturn: Sagittarius
Uranus: Sagittarius
Neptune: Capricorn
Pluto: Scorpio

**If I posted something incorrectly or there's something I need to change, or this post doesn't belong here altogether, please let me know!**

Wow, lots of fire for both of you! Do you feel like you're both fighting for the limelight? Actually, doesn't Taurus add a bit of stubbornness? I'd try to ease back on that if that's the case, be a little more flexible, and listen more than speak -- hear him out, let him make his case. Repeat back a bit to show you've heard what he said and understand, show a bit more empathy perhaps, and compassion, rather than just straight forward, blunt answers to solve it.

I'm a Cancer Moon and my Mercury's in Aquarius and Venus is in Aries -- so I can kind of relate in a way. I think! Hope I helped

Eh, more fire for him than me... I think I have MUCH (let me repeat that) much more grounding than he does. I do feel like we compete for attention from our mutual friend (whom we're both close with), but I don't think this is something he would ever admit. I find him very hard to figure out, or read, and I think this is due to his Mercury in Cancer screwing up all that blunt fire energy he has.

I DO think you're right about me being more empathetic. That's what I've been doing lately, but in doing so I sometimes feel stifled and like I can't say what I really think because he'll just "poo-poo" it instead of understanding it's constructive criticism.

Sometimes I think his Sagittarius moon kind of knocks heads with my Taurus moon and we don't understand where the other is coming from, or more so how one can't understand the other's point of view.


What I'm most concerned about, is the fact that his Mercury is in Cancer, and they communicate more indirectly and through non-verbal communication. With my Mercury and Venus in Aries, I feel as if I'm beating my head against a brick wall trying to figure out what he means.

stroke his ego, tell him how much you care for him, pamper him, even stroke his hair (they love that). recognise when his pride is hurt, or his feelings and try and talk through it all.

also if you are worried about saying something or that he has been hurt , try not to talk to him sideways, not face to face as cancers find that hard, and it helps you to coax the issue out of him

good luck

Those are some good tips, Blue and Red!

Except.. did I mention I'm the least observant person? How do you know when a Leo's pride is hurt?

my dads and aries and i am a cancerian with alot of leo, so i understand that you might manage to observe emotions very well. however a leo is a big cat, and even an aries should be able to notice when the lion is not parading round, when he is crunched in a corner, glaring at you (they want you to notice they have retreated).They will show you that they are hurt, cancer is subtle but a leo doesnt understand subtle, he wants to be noticed that he is not happy.

maybe he will withdraw affection , or sit away from you, or shrink away from you if you touch them.

sorry its hard to explain

But my Taurus moon and Aries flitting about in there makes it nearly impossible for me to pick up on details! How do you get this through to a Mercury in Cancer person? Do you think all that fire he has in his chart outweighs the Cancer communication?

Basically, does his Mercury in Cancer mean that... he comes off like a Cancer but you can handle him like a Leo?

Starlight09 said:

But my Taurus moon and Aries flitting about in there makes it nearly impossible for me to pick up on details!

Click to expand...

Not so fast. I also have my Sun in Aries and Moon in Taurus. However, you and I don't seem to exhibit the same traits. I have no problems picking up details or reading others. Furthermore, I am definitely not brash. The other planetary placements play a part, too. If you really want to understand your friend, you should read Understanding The Birth Chart by Robert Burk. It's in the recommended reading on this forum and it's a really great book. I'm by no means an expert, yet, but the book did help me a lot in understanding birth charts.

I am by no means an astrology expert. However, as a person with Merc in Aries myself, I could perhaps see how you dealing with a Merc in Cancer person could lead to some ruffled feathers.

Merc in Aries (like me), tend to be very direct, blunt, to the point...and while they are trying to just be honest and cut to the chase (a little impatience there), their approach can come across as pointed, sharp, and abrupt.

Merc in Cancer (the rest of the chart aside) can be sensitive, both in their own perceptions of what's being communicated, as well as how they communicate what they feel.

I wonder if a Merc in Cancer person might feel your approach in communication is a little "insensitive"..even if that's not your intention? And you might find the Merc in Cancer person a little "too sensitive," making you feel all the more impatient in trying to get your point across and move on to the next issue. A LOT of patience might be required of you both here to come to a better understanding of one another. Something to consider, perhaps, and work on in your communications.

Also, in my experience (yet again!)...as a Moon in Sagittarius myself, having been with someone with a Moon in Taurus - well, I came to learn that our needs were VERY different. What made the Moon in Taurus person feel comforted, comfortable, and secure made my Moon in Sag feel bored, restless, trapped. This created insecurity in the Moon in Taurus person, leading them to become more stubborn out of a sense of feeling emotionally threatened by the Moon in Sag person (me).

A lot of this is a matter of misunderstanding, different communication styles, and emotional needs. But it's enough to lead to lots of heated arguments (and what, with both of you with fiery Sun and Venus signs!).

I'm not sure how much help that is, but I just thought to share what I know about the particular points I noticed in both your charts.

GA