What do I do when the sitter takes over

Hi all,


Okay so here is the issue. One of my bestfriends and I give each other Tarot readings. She and I go to different colleges and so we use AIM. well, I was giving her a tarot reading this afternoon and she completely took over! Like I tend to go by feeling not the book and that works wonders for me. Now I'm not saying when I started tarot 7 years ago I didn't go by the book but I mean i wanted to move on.

Well my friend is a by the book tarot reader. not saying by the books isn't bad but to interupt a reading and say no your wrong let me gt my books and read what it really means to you made me stark mad. I just sat back as her messages were just popping up left and right.

Now I'm not saying for those of you that do go by the book that its wrong but I find it amazingly rude that someone does that.

Anyway I would love feed back. Oh and I love doing readings by the way.
If you have a AIM account and want to do readings that way then by all means PM me.

All you can do is say - fine, if you want to read by the book, you don't need me to help you.

That happened to me once..I do live readings and a man sat down and I hardly had time to say a word and he started to read me...I just sat back and enjoyed the show.
Told him he was a natural medium and to take out an add in the phone book and go to it.
He did, and now makes his living in Texas as a reader and medium.
We have become great friends...
So enjoy her show and tell her..geez you read so well with those book meanings, no need for readings from me anymore.
No need to ruin a freindship over it...but if she can't respect your method of reading then no need to expose yourself to being used as her ego elevator.

I had one girl once who after I read for her went and looked up the cards I pulled on some site and interpreted them how she wanted to interpret them so it gave her more of slant she was wanting.


You'll find you will read for all kinds.

Gently remind her that this is YOUR reading for her. And that your readings may be beyond strict book definitions.

Tell her you found that's the best way for you, and you're trying to give her a great reading, so with all due respect, BE QUIET. If she wants to interpret the cards, she can try to read for herself, buy more books with yet more definitions or whatever she would like. In the meantime it's your reading and if anybody keeps interrupting your flow, or taking over, simply stop. You have that power and perhaps that action will make her think twice and LISTEN to you.

Just my 2 cents

River

I have a niece who does that, not just with me but with professional tarot readers. And she wonders why I don't like reading for her. She has memorised meanings for the cards from a magazine, and to her they are set in stone.

I now always make sure that I have a deck with me that is not standard Rider Waite and use that, something like Songs for the Journey Home.

She does her usual "oh that's wrong, that card means......." but I just say that this deck is different.

I've tried the other approach, of asking her what she thinks the card means in the context of the reading, but then she complains that she wants me to read the cards, she doesn't want to read them herself!!

I usually end up mentally banging my head against the nearest wall.

I've encountered this many many times, usually with people who are new to tarot or who don't use/study it regularly. I use a three strikes and you're out policy...

The first time, I gently remind them that this is my reading for them and that there's no one "right" way to read, but that they've asked for what *I* see, and I can read much better if they give me the opportunity to actually tell them what that is.

The second time, I remind them again that they've asked for what *I* see, and tell them that if they're busy arguing with me about who's "right", me or their books, they will quite likely miss the message in the cards. This is my "I'm trying to *help* you, here," chat. I also ask them if they have their own deck(s), and suggest they get one or spend more time with theirs, as appropriate... I think a lot of people who do this are very interested in tarot and looking for someone to talk to about it, so I don't want to drive them off... I just also don't like it when a reading turns into an argument of books vs. me.

The third time, I politely finish the reading and politely tell them I would prefer not to read for them again.

Note, I don't read for money, so I can't say what I'd do in that situation.

(eta): Be careful doing this with friends, though. Telling a friend point-blank, "I won't read for you again" is a potential recipe for hurt feelings. What I do with friends who do this - and I do have a few - is tell them, "I'm going to do your reading and I need you to stay quiet so I can focus... then when I'm done, you can give your interpretation if you like." This works particularly well over AIM... my turn, then your turn... and when they're taking their "turn" you can go make a cup of tea. I only do this with friends who are *bound and determined* I'm wrong, love their books more than their cards, and still want readings, though... it's the alternative to "you're out" that I extend only for the sake of friendship in the way that causes me the least aggravation.

Well, don't let big egos on either part ruin the friendship or the spirit of the Tarot. Stay good-natured and buy her her own deck of cards, or give her one of yours, if she doesn't have one and tell her she's so naturally talented with learning the meanings that you think she needs to branch out on her own. Tell her you look forward to exchanging readings with her. Don't let it make you angry or cause you to lose a friendship over it.

That would irk me, too. Maybe you could gently remind her that if you only go by book meanings, then anyone could read tarot, and no one would ever have to study tarot again (or get readings from others.)

[Nah, the sarcasm would probably creep in too much, and you would likely lose a friend.]

sillyking said:

Hi all,


Okay so here is the issue. One of my bestfriends and I give each other Tarot readings. She and I go to different colleges and so we use AIM. well, I was giving her a tarot reading this afternoon and she completely took over! Like I tend to go by feeling not the book and that works wonders for me. Now I'm not saying when I started tarot 7 years ago I didn't go by the book but I mean i wanted to move on.

Well my friend is a by the book tarot reader. not saying by the books isn't bad but to interupt a reading and say no your wrong let me gt my books and read what it really means to you made me stark mad. I just sat back as her messages were just popping up left and right.

Now I'm not saying for those of you that do go by the book that its wrong but I find it amazingly rude that someone does that.

Anyway I would love feed back. Oh and I love doing readings by the way.
If you have a AIM account and want to do readings that way then by all means PM me.

Click to expand...

First of all what is AIM???? Never heard of it.

Next, yes it was rude. And if you want my opinion it shows your friend does not have a very good understanding of how Tarot works. There are as many ways of reading as there are people and each can work well if they person has tried different ways and found their way is what works best for them.

Someone who is reading intuitively will naturally not get the same answers as someone who is going by the book. That is the way it is supposed to work. The source that sends us he asnwers will send each of us the answers to fit into the reading style that we use and have found works best for us.

So you can't say that someone is wrong because they are not coming up with book meanings. I rarely use book meanings much at all and I get told very often that my readings are "scary accurate". I read in a very unique way, but that does not make my readings "wrong", Not that using book meanings is necessarily wrong, but expecting each reader to come up with indentical asnwers that can be verified by a book, shows a deep misunderstanding of how Tarot works.

Tarot is not a science where you can test answers that must come in verifiable forms. It is an art. Like if I were to paint a person and some artist like Picasso were to paint one, what we came up with would take a very different form, but neither would be wrong.

Tarot is an art, not a science....

And for what it is worth, you are likely a better reader than your friend, so I wouldn't pay too much attention to her comments, athough some more respect would be nice, especially as her method of judging the accuracy of a reading is inaccurate imo.

Babs