When they say no all the time

Hi everyone,

I have a question to ask and I hope it’s in the right place. Recently I have been practicing giving readings to other people besides my close friends. I have stated to do this in the hope of getting more honest feedback.

What I have noticed in these readings is that people will quite often be quick to take the good points, but when it comes to more difficult aspects of the reading they just keep saying no, that that’s not correct.

Now I know it may be that I am getting things wrong some of the time. But I do feel this can not be the case all of the time.

My question is then how do you deal/cope with a person who just keeps telling you that you’ve got it wrong?

Smudge said:

My question is then how do you deal/cope with a person who just keeps telling you that you’ve got it wrong?

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There have been many threads on the topic, but generally, if they tell you are wrong, you don't deal with them - you try to interpret the card in a way that makes sense to them.
I don't buy the whole "being in denial" thing - i mean, if someone close to the client passed away recently or they did have some traumatic experience and you tell them so, i doubt they'll negate it. Otherwise - you might be plain wrong or you might be picking up something that hasn't happened yet or who knows what - but i strongly suggest to be careful with wording even for "worst" of the cards, because you (and any other reader ) can be wrong and some people are suggestive and tend to create self-fulfilling prophecies. I am not sure this is what you want to hear, but that's what i think - honestly.

When a person tells you that you're wrong - listen to them.

Usually it means that you've got the correct card, but you're reading it wrong; that what you 'know' about the card is too limited, and you've focused on an incorrect aspect of the card.

Narrow interpretations championed by dogmatic texts are usually to blame.

The sitter - is not always wrong, or in denial, or needs to be 'dealt with'.

ETA: Reading for strangers F2F is one of the best ways to hone our skills. Sometimes those skills include not just what we say - but how we say it. Sometimes a simple rewording does the trick.

And sometimes what is being picked up and repeated to the client does not make coherent sense to the messenger.
When passed on , the client knows exactly what it is.

So no, it doesn't always need to make sense to the reader.

Sometimes It is just a mistuned message as well, no matter, move on.

Dont think too much.

This is my opinion and I have been a professional reader for over 11 years, I have been reading the Tarot for 21.

This is very honest and I think can assist you.

There are one of a few things going on.

1. When I do a reading, which I read differently than most people, I only do a spread for the coming months. In other words I do NOT do a past in my reading. The reason, is I was never good at seeing the past at all. And they know the past so what's the point. Many will disagree, but this is my reading.
I read about 40- 60 people a week. 30 of them will say no that won't happen. I tell them wait the six months and write it down and if it is wrong then let me know. Everyone comes back and says , wow, it did come true.

If you are seeing the future and they say NO that won't happen. And if they are defiant and rude, I tell them to leave, because if they know their own future, then they don't need a fortune teller.

They don't know the future that is why they are there.
So, you have to go by your gut.

A lot of people are negative (hate to say it) and they don't want to give you credit. They want to knock you off your boat. This is my experience.


If you are doing the past and said "Your father just died this past week" and they say No, he is alive. Then yes you are wrong.

This may hurt, but I tell everyone this. You stated you have been reading for family and friends and now for others.

You should be reading for years and very comfortable reading before reading for strangers and charging. I began reading cards when I was 10. I started reading for strangers when I was 18. Then started charging when I was 22.

So, I read for 12 years before I even thought about charging or reading for strangers. The Tarot is very hard. Not everyone who is into Tarot is meant to be a professional reader. I come across this a lot. Not that you are trying this. But many people that come to me, ask where they can buy cards "to read for themselves". Then I find out months later they are reading at fairs.

I am really into holistic healing and herbal medicine. But I am not about to go practice medicine.

It takes years (in my op) to master tarot cards. And you should not be reading for anyone until you do. Maybe to practice on family.

In my humble opinion you may be screwing up because you aren't seasoned enough in Tarot card reading. You should be reading for years before reading for people. People get into cards and then get exited and what to read people. But, trust me, leave the reading for strangers up to professionals.

or become a professional, by putting everything else on the back burner and dedicate hours a day and years to mastering it. Just like you would any other college degree. I have a degree in English/Education. That took 4 years of study. Tarot takes longer to master.

tarotcardrose said:

It takes years (in my op) to master tarot cards. And you should not be reading for anyone until you do. Maybe to practice on family.

In my humble opinion you may be screwing up because you aren't seasoned enough in Tarot card reading. You should be reading for years before reading for people...

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This will not apply to everybody. Reading for family and friends carries with it a personal bias (you think you know what the cards are 'saying' because you are familiar with the situation.

Even if you learn reading for friends and family, once you move onto reading for strangers, the bias vanishes - and you're left without a net.

Best way to learn for some folks - is to practice by doing, learn though actual experience. Books can only take you so far, friends and family can only take you so far. Sooner or later - one must move onto reading for strangers.

For some it takes years.

For some it takes only a few months.

For many, reading for strangers is the best way to learn. Keep doing what you're doing Smudge...

tarotcardrose said:

1. When I do a reading, which I read differently than most people, I only do a spread for the coming months. In other words I do NOT do a past in my reading. The reason, is I was never good at seeing the past at all. And they know the past so what's the point. Many will disagree, but this is my reading.
I read about 40- 60 people a week. 30 of them will say no that won't happen. I tell them wait the six months and write it down and if it is wrong then let me know. Everyone comes back and says , wow, it did come true.

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Tarotcardrose, firstly, congratulation on your success and on your seeming infallibility.
Secondly, i wouldn't know about where you live, but in Balkans where i am and where fortune-telling with various tools is an integral part of the local tradition - there is no way to be an amateur, not to mention a pro, if you (generic you) are not not seeing the past, everyone, astrologers, cofee residue readers, card readers, start from the past because that's the only way to prove they know how to read, at least in the beginning.
Not to say that its how it should be, just to say that Smudge is in UK and that what is expected in his/her very area might vary from what is expected from a reader where you live and work.
Smudge, i also think that you should keep up what you are doing, i doubt there are other ways to learn than to practice.
Best of luck!

Smudge said:

My question is then how do you deal/cope with a person who just keeps telling you that you’ve got it wrong?

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I keep re-interpreting until I get it right.

I do sometimes get people that are all, "No, no, no." So I keep trying. Mostly all I really need to do is reword what it is I'm trying to say.

I had one reading where I was telling a single guy that he had to get rid of his image of the kind of woman he wanted because she didn't exist. When a very pretty girl walked by and he said, "I want one like that!" he then went on to list qualities that this girl simply must possess. And yet, he still denied he had an image in his mind. I calmly pointed out what he had just done. "Oh, you mean that."

This isn't always the case though, but a rather funny one!

"I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." ~ Thomas Edison

Smudge said:

What I have noticed in these readings is that people will quite often be quick to take the good points, but when it comes to more difficult aspects of the reading they just keep saying no, that that’s not correct.

Now I know it may be that I am getting things wrong some of the time. But I do feel this can not be the case all of the time.

My question is then how do you deal/cope with a person who just keeps telling you that you’ve got it wrong?

Click to expand...

It's really quite easy.

You've got to remember that you're the one with the skills, not them, and that in any case your decks are tuned to you, not to them.

After the third no, quietly and calmly gather your cards up off the table and shuffle them briefly before putting them away, telling them politely that the most experienced readers in the world cannot read for someone who is blocking a reading, that you're grateful to have spent time with them, but you really do not think now is a good time for them to have a reading. (that should cover it whether you or tehy asked for the reading to happen).

Hi...

For me personally I believe as readers we are interpretating, translating another language.... from symbols, suits, colours, numbers, characters, images......what we say can be misunderstood by the querant (sitter)...as readers we have to find a way that they understand... we just mayhave to use different words for them to understand clearly........ for them to get a clearer picture of the past, present and furture........


think when we translate words from one language to another... it could be quite easy for us to use a wrong word, a wrong verb and the other person completely misunderstands us.......we just have to find the right word for them to understand us the right translation.....

it can take effort... it can be about spending a second or two taking a deep breathe and relook at the connection of the cards......... what the cards mean as individuals could be quite different in the connection with the cards on either side or the next two to the left or the next two to the right....I read the cards in sets of threes........to get a whole sentence maybe 2 or 3 that connected the 3 cards.....

if a client says no it does not make sense..... relook at the cards and try a different translation.......soon you will help them understand the message....

take care

Vesta