There is NO magic bullet!

OK - I'm having a bad day, and on top of it all I tried to have a rational conversation with a tarot reading friend about tarot buying.

She is under the assumption that if she finds "THE" deck, she will have all the answers, she won't have to work so hard to read and that it will just happen on it's own. Mind you, she's been reading for less than two years now and has amassed quite a collection in search of "the" one.

I'm here to say, I do not believe there is a "THE" deck. No deck in itself is going to read for you, it's not going to provide you will this automatic ability to read, to not have to work hard, and study, and hone your perception and intuition. NO deck is going to do that for you. There is no magic bullet deck out there that I know of.

My advice to her was to stop buying and start to learn to read with the decks she's already purchased. One at a time, REALLY get to know the deck. Learn the artists meanings, learn your own interpretation, learn the classic meanings and then make that deck work for you. When you can do that, move on to the next. You will find some decks just won't work for you, and others you may think in the beginning you can't work with will grow on you and some day become a favorite. But PLEASE stop looking for THE one and then call me crying because it wasn't magic!! IF she spent half the time she does looking for THE one actually learning how to read, she would be much better off.

OK - rant over. How do you feel about this?

I think more people should hear this. But that's just me.

Ive said this again and again and again. Too much romantic wishful thinking. People project what they wish their emotional life were onto all aspects of their life. They dream of a monogomous relationship, one person who will be THE one and then they project it onto other things. Like Tarot buying.

Life is more complicated than that, but it's painful to deal with it sometimes. Much easier to cling to a myth.

We have phases in our life. People are active in our lives during different phases. We all move on, relationships dissipate. A deck is loved and used and then we change and find another which compliments how we feel in the new phase of our lives.

Silver Crow said:

My advice to her was to stop buying and start to learn to read with the decks she's already purchased. One at a time, REALLY get to know the deck. Learn the artists meanings, learn your own interpretation, learn the classic meanings and then make that deck work for you. When you can do that, move on to the next. You will find some decks just won't work for you, and others you may think in the beginning you can't work with will grow on you and some day become a favorite. But PLEASE stop looking for THE one and then call me crying because it wasn't magic!! IF she spent half the time she does looking for THE one actually learning how to read, she would be much better off.

OK - rant over. How do you feel about this?

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I think you have given her good advice. perhaps you should introduce her to this forum? maybe then it will take the pressure off you and she will begin to understand that it takes time and patience. she could even trade her decks that are not "the one"...

If she continues to call you "crying because it wasn't magic" (sorry but that made me proper laugh out loud, I know I shouldn't but I couldn't help it) then I would just say something like "I'm sorry to hear you are still unhappy and that this deck isn't what you thought it would be" and not get drawn any further into the negativity as it's clearly taking your energy.

edit-I might be more tempted to say "I'm sorry to hear that Tarot isn't what you imagined it would be"

She sounds like she is calling you to offload her frustration rather than actually wanting to listen to advice.

I was going to suggest lending her tarot books if you have any to explain how tarot "works" so she understands that it's not about buying a "magic" deck and deciding hers is broken...but it doesn't sound like she would read them?

It sounds to me as though you are taking out your bad day on your friend a bit here. There's nothing wrong with collecting lots of tarot decks if you ask me, and maybe you think she's chasing an impossible dream with this "The One" deck but isn't that what a lot of people do in their search for a partner too? Doing it with a deck seems even more innocuous.

I'm assuming when you said "call me crying because it wasn't magic" that you are actually not being serious and this is not literal.

I think you are lucky to have even one friend who is into tarot- I don't myself. Less ranting and more appreciation of your friend would be a good idea, IMHO.

There is no one perfect deck. I have several that are all great and I can read from. a few I cannot but I figure maybe it isn't the right time for me to know that deck yet. The deck I love now may not be the deck I love and use all the time 6 months from now.
No deck is going to just give you by magical powers the ability to read.
it could be that tarot is not the system for her. My sister can read runes. That is something that just goes right over my head; I don't get it. At the same time my sister has said I am a better tarot reader than her.

First, I love to buy tarot decks, if you look in my profile you will see that. I've been reading for over 30 years and would have a lot more if it weren't for a fire. There are however, different reasons for buying decks. Because you love them, great, but because you think there is one that will automatically allow you to read like a professional is not very realistic.

Yes, she called me upset that her recent purchase isn't working for her. I am ranting, and I told her the same thing today I have over and over, there is no ONE that will do what she wants. She has access to all my tarot books if she wants to read them, and there are over a hundred! She chooses not to read them because she is sure the deck is out there that will do what she wants it to do.

I wish she would join this forum, but she's of the mind that influence from others will defeat her purpose and that I am all wrong about what reading tarot is. She's young, opinionated and is sure she has all the answers. ::sigh:: those were the days......

About having tarot reading friends, isn't that what this forum is for? To make tarot reading friends? I have made quite a few here that I talk to in e-mails an on the phone. I appreciate all my friends, but there comes a time when a friend needs to say no, I can no longer listen to you about this certain thing because we can not find a reasonable way to agree about it.

so in a way it's like she wants to learn lets say French. Instead of learning through recordings or classes or from other people who can speak French she thinks she can learn French by finding the right French only newspaper.

Nytebugg said:

so in a way it's like she wants to learn lets say French. Instead of learning through recordings or classes or from other people who can speak French she thinks she can learn French by finding the right French only newspaper.

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That's a perfect analogy!

maybe she might understand the analogy I posted. Learning tarot is like learning another language.