help! I'm going backwards...

well, here I am taking one step forward and 20 back.

when I first started using tarot I had one deck for a long time (Thoth) and felt that I "knew" what the message was when I did a reading. I read for myself and 2 friends only and the readings were spot-on. but I had to constantly check books as I was very inexperienced.

Since deciding to expand my knowledge, try new decks and really "study" for the first time I seem to have lost my way. It's like the more I know the less I understand.

I am finding myself doubting what I think the message is, when I try to interpret what the cards are telling me I think it could mean a few different things and I have lost my gut feeling about which is the right meaning. I am currently not using the cards and have taken a break to try and clear my head, I feel like I need to forget all I have learnt recently as the logical part of my brain is taking over and the intuitive side has fallen into a small coma.

has anyone got any suggestions as to what I can do to "tune back in"?

Take a break, then go back to Thoth for awhile. Just slow down. There's no finish line.

Play. Seriously. Draw cards for situations in stories, on TV programs, for pets. Draw two cards and see what they say to each other. Use cards to write stories with - let each card be a character in your story... Have fun with them. It sounds like things have got heavy and serious for you, and that the joy of tarot has taken a back seat.

Have fun playing and you'll be re-connecting with your deck

Don't let what others say the cards mean cause you to doubt what the cards are saying to you. It sounds like that's what you're doing. It doesn't matter what a book or anyone else say they mean----they're speaking to you, not to them. Their cards will say one thing to them and another to you. That's the way they are. My motto has always been, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." You've been trying to "fix what ain't broke".

Welcome to the Club! First of all, remember that you'll NEVER remember everything about the cards' keywords & their possibilities - there's too much to synthesize with life events. But I think you already know that. However, sometimes it's difficult to grasp that the innumerable possibilities of combinations refer to YOU. After all, you've spent all this time & effort, right? And for what? To be an expert, right? You're better than a newbie in Borders perusing tarot decks, who have no idea what even the Major or Minor arcana are, nor their symbolism, numerology, traditional & non-traditional meanings are. You've gone beyond that, & that's wonderful! Enjoy it.

You're not going backwards, you're just coming to the realization that you've come full-circle - you're back at the beginning & it's a never-ending process of learning tarot. You're not better than others, it's simply a life-long love & learning process.

ETA: I accidentally hit send when I wasn't done.

Ain't tarot grand?

great advice everyone, thanks

Carla said:

Take a break, then go back to Thoth for awhile. Just slow down. There's no finish line.

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I was just thinking last night I should go back to the Thoth as it was my first tarot love.

Wendywu said:

Play. Seriously. Draw cards for situations in stories, on TV programs, for pets. Draw two cards and see what they say to each other. Use cards to write stories with - let each card be a character in your story... Have fun with them. It sounds like things have got heavy and serious for you, and that the joy of tarot has taken a back seat.

Have fun playing and you'll be re-connecting with your deck

Click to expand...

yes, I think I have got a bit serious with it without realising and I have got very frustrated with myself, I need to relax and let it "flow" again

Grizabella said:

Don't let what others say the cards mean cause you to doubt what the cards are saying to you. It sounds like that's what you're doing. It doesn't matter what a book or anyone else say they mean----they're speaking to you, not to them. Their cards will say one thing to them and another to you. That's the way they are. My motto has always been, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." You've been trying to "fix what ain't broke".

Click to expand...

At the beginning I had such a pure way of thinking about the tarot and I just read from the heart with an absolute trust in what I was reading, I never questioned it or second-guessed myself, I miss that innocent approach. I need to blot out the confusion now. maybe vodka would help...

canid said:

Welcome to the Club! First of all, remember that you'll NEVER remember everything about the cards' keywords & their possibilities - there's too much to synthesize with life events. But I think you already know that. However, sometimes it's difficult to grasp that the innumerable possibilities of combinations refer to YOU. After all, you've spent all this time & effort, right? And for what? To be an expert, right? You're better than a newbie in Borders perusing tarot decks, who have no idea what even the Major or Minor arcana are, nor their symbolism, numerology, traditional & non-traditional meanings are. You've gone beyond that, & that's wonderful! Enjoy it.

You're not going backwards, you're just coming to the realization that you've come full-circle - you're back at the beginning & it's a never-ending process of learning tarot. You're not better than others, it's simply a life-long love & learning process.

Click to expand...

full-circle, I like that. I want to be back at the beginning as I said above, with the innocence and purity that goes with it, how to get that purity back again though...

starrystarrynight said:

Ain't tarot grand?

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yes it is.lol. funny you should say that...
I have a "Grand Etteilla" tarot deck that has been sitting waiting to be looked at, I havn't used it because it is nothing like I have worked with before and seems to be far removed from tarot that I am familiar with and it came to me without a LWB. maybe I should play with that for a while and I will have to just read what I see as I have nothing to refer to.

I was also thinking of getting a new deck that I am unfamiliar with and trimming it, cutting off all keywords etc, not getting a companion book and throwing away the LWB so I'm not tempted to peek, just leave the images and just see where the pictures take me.

nortytiger said:

full-circle, I like that. I want to be back at the beginning as I said above, with the innocence and purity that goes with it, how to get that purity back again though....

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There's the mystery - that magic, it WILL come back. You may get bored, burnt out, but the magic always comes back. There will be epiphanies that fling you back to the beginning, that will make you delve even deeper into tarot meanings.

honestly, this part of the journey of that you are currently experiencing, i think it's something everyone goes through.

first comes the beginner's learning stage, where you really don't know anything and have to learn from scratch.

after that, you get comfortable with where you are and decide to branch out, or challenge yourself, and that is where the confusion REALLY begins. i still consider myself a beginner, but i have found many people at this point on their tarot journey. there is a member who here who has this concept under their avatar, something like "the more i learn about tarot, the less i understand".

i think you WILL get your tarot magick back. honestly, you probably will have to go back to basics, just like you said. throw away *well, not literally, but put out of reach* your books and LWB's, get out your old friend the thoth, and read from your heart again. it will probably take you a while to get back into the rhythm of it, but it will come. just practice, practice!

going backwards too!

Hello, I have to say I'm having the exact same problem you are with tarot. Although I've never owned or even glimpsed the thoth tarot, just today I seem to have been submerged in everything thoth, tree of life, symbols etc etc etc. *just got the spiral tarot and trying to work out the meaning of the symbols seems to have led me down that path and must admit I'm very curious about it all* ANYWAY... I've been using my tarot for a couple years now but still can be immensely blind/deaf to their meanings. I had to keep checking books etc. Then just when I thought I GET IT! I lost it! Trying to get it all back now too, can be very overwhelming and I always seem to over complicate things lol. Anyway, just wanted to say I hope you start going forward again soon : ). (let me know how ha ha!). Blessed be! Nyx