When loved ones disapprove of Tarot

I've never had a problem exploring my tarot and divination curiosities when I lived at home, and in fact my mother seemed to be just about as curious as I was. But I didn't think the following would happen: boyfriends disapproving of tarot. I've gotten into "trouble" several times with my boyfriend over my tarot activities. Last time he found a deck in my bag (not that he was going through my stuff, just helping me put something away), he basically said it was him or the cards. A few days later he asked me to throw them away in the trash, and then asked me again to make sure I'd done it. Yes he can be very patronizing. Of course, I didn't throw my beautiful and many decks in the trash! I would never do that. I had to tell a white lie. But I know at some point it might really become him or the cards.

His fear is that there are "dark energies" giving me the information I'm getting from the cards. He also said it's not good for mental health. He does believe they are accurate though. Then I start to ponder, is it really a person belief or that he could be hiding something and doesn't want me to find out through the cards??

What are your thoughts on this ??
Has it ever been "your loved one or the cards"?? Which one did you choose? How do I explain the cards to someone that fears them? What about mental health and dark energies?

I think the potential for there to be mental health problems is when one starts to rely so heavily on the cards to control one's destiny as opposed to real action.

Try to appeal to his rational mind of 'look, pretty pieces of PAPER' not a box of satanic evil that is sucking away at the purity of your soul etc.

Perhaps get him to realise how important tarot is to you? Then its up to him whether he can accept that or not. If he's worth it, he will accept to some degree. If not, then, well, does he really understand you at all?

For me, Ive always been very upfront with boyfriends about my tarot reading and general weird ways. More often than not, they are equally weird themselves else we would have nothing to talk about, and so its ok.

Educate him somehow (ask the cards how thats best accomplished perhaps?).. if not, is he worth it? I mean, is a bloke really worth more than deck? REALLY? (and I mean a really nice Gold edition of the VR or something, a first edition Deviant Moon or a limited edition Mary-El hehe).

Good luck *hug*

inanna_tarot said:

Try to appeal to his rational mind of 'look, pretty pieces of PAPER' not a box of satanic evil that is sucking away at the purity of your soul etc.

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Now that I "threw them in the trash" I don't know if I can go back on my word. Well, actually I didn't really say anything when he asked. If he asks again I'll just say I gave them to my mother
Nevertheless, this is great advice for the next boyfriend.

Perhaps get him to realise how important tarot is to you? Then its up to him whether he can accept that or not. If he's worth it, he will accept to some degree. If not, then, well, does he really understand you at all?

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Good point.

Educate him somehow (ask the cards how thats best accomplished perhaps?)..

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HAHAHAHA! This made me laugh really hard!!!

if not, is he worth it? I mean, is a bloke really worth more than deck? REALLY? (and I mean a really nice Gold edition of the VR or something, a first edition Deviant Moon or a limited edition Mary-El hehe).

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This made me laugh harder, LOLLL!
I have some really fancy, expensive decks too, collectibles! Sheesh!
The golden VR, the silver BoGo, the MAAT! He is crazy!

Good luck *hug*

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Thank you dear!! Hug!!

No one, and I mean NO ONE, has a right to make you get rid of your cards. If a boyfriend truly puts that kind of a condition on your relationship, then he does not deserve you. Seriously. That kind of control is abusive.

Now that I have that out of my system ...

When people are squirrely about tarot, I talk to them about their psychological benefits. They are an EXCELLENT tool for introspection, for working through issues, for finding out about our truest selves. I am also an artist. Depending on who I'm talking about, I'll explain that its an inexpensive way to collect 78 pieces of artwork. That they are simply works of art, printed on paper, often published by either the artists themselves or GAME companies.

Seriously.

I know some people believe in dark powers of evil just waiting to suck out our souls or something, but that's not my belief. When a friend said she didn't want tarot cards in her house because of its potential to call up demons (what? she's a lesbian fantasy roleplayer who was married to a pagan witch ... where did this come from???) I said, "ok, I'm sorry to have caused you concern." And I never brought them to her house again. Respect for her wishes, but she also respected that for me they are tools for personal growth. Nothing evil unless we bring evil into the equation.

Your mileage may vary.

That is really a tough question, and I hope that you get some good replies. My ex husband never said much about my cards, he really was not into them. But, he did not hassle me about them. If it were me I would tell him to take a hike! Lol....seriously I think he just has some unfounded issues about them....are there certain things he does or likes that bothers you? Possibly a compromise? As for mental health isuues anything can cause that..chemical inbalance, alcohol etc.. Good luck to you! Hope he comes around....that is a hard choice...
CG54

I am really lucky that my SO doesn't care about my tarot activities. Yes he thinks that its a giant waste of time, but we have an agreement. He gets to spend money on a ton of movies and I can buy decks. Now my very straight up hard core chrisitian father would totally flip if he knew(I am soo happy I don't live at home anymore.) He would be the one too tell me to either loose "satans handbook" or don't come around any more. That would break my heart so I just do not tell him.

Cheers,

Danielle

Beliefs and fears are hard things to challenge. There was a time in my life when I refused to date guys who had tarot & magic stuff. There was a time when I bought decks/books/crystals & then gave them away in a knee-jerk reaction to family reactions. Now I buy them and don't bring it up. But, I do fear an ultimatum of this sort.

This "process" took almost 25 years.

I was extremely upfront with my current wife when we met. She, too, was upfront with me. We've been together for nine years now, and married for seven of those. While other issues have cropped up, our different but similar appreciations of peoples' spiritual practices has never been an issue.

I think the fact that we were so open probably helped a real connection grow, instead of trying to change an attraction into a connection.

I sincerely hope that you find to truly share your life with.

Now I just need to get one thing off my chest.

It would be funny if the next time he comes home after dark, he should find you on the kitchen floor, in the dark, in the center of a circle drawn in steak sauce which itself is surrounded by candles and the severed heads of dolls and stuffed animals...

I don't really advise doing that. I just had to get it off my chest.

(Edit: I am also very lucky that my father is very tolerant, and my mother appreciates my.. uh.. sense of humor about things.)

Oh my gosh! This thread is bringing me lots of laughs! Thank you all! Specific comments coming up soon!

cutiecutie said:

Now that I "threw them in the trash" I don't know if I can go back on my word. Well, actually I didn't really say anything when he asked. If he asks again I'll just say I gave them to my mother
Nevertheless, this is great advice for the next boyfriend.

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please note, my own highlighting of the wee Freudian slip of the fingers ?