Best deck for relationship readings?

Relationship readings, and more specifically romance, constitute more than a half of my readings for the public. I like to offer clients a choice of 4 decks, so that they can find a deck that resonates. I think in terms of 4 categories: business/finances/health/material plane; emotional growth and relationships; mental/intellectual/decision making; and creativity/spiritual growth. I have been using the Maat Tarot for the emotions/relationship category. I love the imagery, but some cards are re-ordered from the standard (according to the Rider-Waite) associations. I'm looking for a new deck to use for this type of readings. What deck(s) do you like for relationships/romance readings?

I'm quite picky about aesthetics and don't care for collage type decks typically. The only decks I really like to use are: Illuminated Tarot by Carol Herzog; The Sacred Circle deck; and The Shining Tribe Tarot by Rachel Pollack. I'm always looking and have viewed images on Aeclectic Tarot innumerable times.

Thanks,

JBerry

JBerry said:

What deck(s) do you like for relationships/romance readings?

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As you use different decks for different types of questions, I use different spreads for different types of questions, but all my decks do everything.

When I read privately I generally choose a deck impulsively, but when I'm reading publicly in a venue, I'll have my table set up with several decks all with the same Major Arcana card showing, and ask the client to look at them and very quickly choose the card that stands out to them. That will be their deck, based on the fact that they'll choose the image that draws them in which will provide a deck more in keeping with their own energies.

Doesn't matter what question they ask, they end up choosing the right deck for them, and all my decks do good relationship readings.

Client selects a deck...

I like that idea, a lot. When I read professionally, I fan out four decks and ask them to pick. Sometimes people will have a strong reaction for or against a deck. The method that you suggest... that of putting out the same card from different decks is great. Of course, sometimes, I read in a situation where I'm doing 3 card readings back to back with a line. Then there isn't time to locate those 4 cards. In a situation with a scheduled client, I take the time to do a 5 element/5 card reading. This gives me amazing information. I can often tell the client what's happening before they tell me anything.

It's only when I'm doing dream interpretations or long distance readings, that I select the deck myself. I do find that certain decks do really well for certain types of readings. I worked with the Wheel of Change deck by Alexandra Genetti. It was difficult. I liked the images, but it just wasn't working for me. When I met Alexandra and told her how I was having difficulty using it for relationship type readings, she explained to me that she had created that deck specifically for working with the creative process. Then it made lots of sense. I now reserve it for those types of readings. And I still find the Shining Tribe deck impenetrable for face to face readings, after years of study; but unsurpassed for those readings when I can take lots of time on my own to work with it. Rachel Pollack is so focused on personal development and spiritual transformation. I love the Sacred Circle for material concerns -- maybe it's all that green. Also all of its cards are tied to geography -- very physical. Even though it has unillustrated pips it gives unfailingly great readings for business questions. I get a lot of those, too.

It's my opinion that the deck used for reading makes very little difference. The reader makes all the difference irrespective of the deck used.

I actually think (despite being busy with all the extra stuff) Lon Milo DuQuette's deck is really good for relationships. It is not just plugging his work, but because he is loved by his community with a grandfatherly love, and outside of it. He has a loving relationship with his wife whom he has known since his youth, the girl he pined for. He knows how to get the girl and to keep her.

He also knows Tarot enough to know it takes two people to make a truth that is easily visible to others. I firmly believe this is part of the formula of most Tarot decks I enjoy. Anyone who knows enough to make the two of cups into ice cream sundaes is someone who knows love and pleasure well. For one, it is love, but sugar is sacred to Venus and the breast and Hathor (the cow), and Cancer is Cardinal Water, and maternal. The crab comes from sand and squat, and glass ice cream dishes are made from sand and squat. 2 cold sweet wet and bovine milky introductions to emotional prospects! A date early in a possible relationship for an icecream treat, but still new enough to not just be sharing one. Genius in its own right.

He did the line art, and his wife did the coloring. I think that is one of the reasons it most feels right for me. He had to bare his own teeth, and his own skeletons in the dark cards, and she, loving supportive partner, filled them in and colored the experience. THAT is an acceptance we should all be lucky to have.

The Universe, The Sun and many other cards feature him, his family and their history. We also vibe "spiritually" and "religiously" and have common mentors (albeit from different decades). I am letting you know, so you know my bias.

I am not sure if the deck suits your needs for this, but to me, when I use his deck with the thought of this being a product of two people like Lon and Constance, it ALWAYS gives me a healing reading. They have both (in my reality) defined their lives by the need to be together, and have grown with that specifically in mind. Find a deck, that despite just imagery, inspires you to the prospects of loving, supporting, human companionship and bonds of trust and communication.

Reader trumps deck

Certainly I would agree that in all instances the ability of the reader trumps the essential nature of any deck. I'll happily read 'cold' any deck that anyone happens to produce with no trepidation. I feel confident to read bones, sticks, tea leaves, random selections in a book etc. etc.

But, then again, the spirit and intention that went into creating a deck, and the character of the deck creator or creatrix places an indelible stamp on that deck.

JBerry said:

Certainly I would agree that in all instances the ability of the reader trumps the essential nature of any deck. I'll happily read 'cold' any deck that anyone happens to produce with no trepidation. I feel confident to read bones, sticks, tea leaves, random selections in a book etc. etc.

But, then again, the spirit and intention that went into creating a deck, and the character of the deck creator or creatrix places an indelible stamp on that deck.

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Yah, I read playing cards for two years before I got a deck of Tarot cards. The reader is as important as the deck, but as the art is basically a psycho-indicator, getting someone who actually KNOWS what it takes to be in a relationship that lasts is a great place to start. Then it is up to you to find one that has art that speaks well of those keys. Some people don't want, desire, or thrive in relationships that are so all inclusive. I think their decks represent that. I like some, but I would not read relationships with them.

Major Tom said:

It's my opinion that the deck used for reading makes very little difference. The reader makes all the difference irrespective of the deck used.

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Yes, but it *does* make the client feel comfortable with you that you respect their choice completely, and it makes them feel empowered in that they've had a major or the only say in what deck gets used (I usually don't tell them about the 85 other decks I haven't let them choose from!)

Empowerment and mutual respect is a great way to start a reading, Tom.

nisaba said:

Yes, but it *does* make the client feel comfortable with you that you respect their choice completely, and it makes them feel empowered in that they've had a major or the only say in what deck gets used (I usually don't tell them about the 85 other decks I haven't let them choose from!)

Empowerment and mutual respect is a great way to start a reading, Tom.

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What deck can I use to make people know I actually do respect people?

The mutual respect tarot, yes please! a mix of free form and structured assignments and how all interact to provide insight. we would need cards with transient screens. each is a moving image. hmm, am getting some ideas...

nisaba said:

Empowerment and mutual respect is a great way to start a reading, Tom.

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You say that as if I'd disagree. lol

There are many ways to empower and demonstrate respect without carrying a selection of decks or worrying about which deck is suited to which purpose. Eye contact, for example, goes far further to establishing that essential rapport than any deck selection.

In my experience, a selection of decks for a client to choose from can as easily lead to confusion and bewilderment as it does to empowerment and mutual respect. I do understand that some readers have excellent results by offering a selection, but then again, some don't. Deck selection isn't a panacea to guarantee a good reading, whether it be a relationship reading or any other kind of reading.

Most sitters don't care what deck you use - they aren't there for the pretty pictures.

As always, this is just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.