Question- New deck\Old deck

Unlike many of tarot users here, I don't believe in tarot deck polygamy. I started using tarot about 7 years ago for the first time, when I bought Animal Lords tarot deck, which worked perfectly fine for me. However, 3 years ago, when I moved to live in Japan,I started using my deck less and less often and as a reason I accidentally forgot it, while moving house to another country.
Since then I haven't touched any tarot decks and didn't even feel like using tarot again. But now, being back to Japan again, I feel a strong urge to start over my tarot practice. There is just one problem- I feel, like I betrayed my old deck twice- first, by forgetting it, and second- by looking for a replacement now. Besides, I still haven't made up my mind on what my new tarot deck should be.
Anyway, is there any way to say goodbye to your old tarot deck? If I had just wanted to get rid of it, I would've buried or burnt it, but since it's lost, I have no clue what to do.

I like to trust that decks are where they are meant to be even if you think you "lost" it, or "forgot" it.

I see...well it just seems that it wouldn't let me go for some reason.

If it will make you feel better, think about what letting go means to you. Design a ceremony to let go of the deck, keeping those concepts in mind. Perhaps thank it for all that its been to you, and wish it well wherever it is.

I also had the feeling that it was meant to go. But now I just can't stop thinking about the old deck. Even if I buy the same one it's not gonna be the same. It probably ended up in the garbage and got destroyed. The thought of it isn't a pleasant one

Staub said:

I also had the feeling that it was meant to go. But now I just can't stop thinking about the old deck. Even if I buy the same one it's not gonna be the same. It probably ended up in the garbage and got destroyed. The thought of it isn't a pleasant one

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I understand, but clinging to the past isn't healthy for you. There is nothing you can do about what happened. All you can change is the future. Forgive yourself if you need to, thank the deck if you want to, and find a way to move forward. A new deck won't be the same, but you'll make it your own.

Hugs ...

Staub said:

I also had the feeling that it was meant to go. But now I just can't stop thinking about the old deck. Even if I buy the same one it's not gonna be the same. It probably ended up in the garbage and got destroyed. The thought of it isn't a pleasant one

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Are you the sort that believes that "everything happens for a reason"? I find that a comforting thought, because rather than having a sort of vague sense of panic and doom about events like this, I can consider the potential purpose that the event might serve for my future.

You clearly have a strong emotional tie to that particular deck, or you wouldn't be having these feelings of guilt about it. Maybe that emotional tie had becoming a limiting factor for you somehow, and required a situation like this where you can't get it back to give you the impetus to find something that will end up being an even better fit. Maybe that deck had served its purpose for you, and this is your opportunity to grow by experiencing something new, which you can now freely do because your old deck is gone, gone, gone so you don't have to feel any sort of guilt about "cheating on it" while it sits on a shelf.

I do understand what you are saying, I have some very old decks that I have sentamental attachments to, but the decks themselves are just paper and ink. All the "magic" that they possess are within you, not in the cards.

Is is just delusions that keeps these feelings stuck within you, these cards are only a material possession. Let them go and realize that it is you, your intuition, your mind that controls your readings, the cards are there to aid and assist you.

Open your mind to new experiences, the past is gone, the future not yet written.

On a good day...

On a good day, a day where you decide to try...oh any new things..try a new deck.

I wonder if you saw the Animal Lords again, do you feel that reflects you now?

It is always curious to me what images evoke in us. A drawing of light streaming through a window reminded me of a photograph I took on a near perfect day. I found the photo again.

While I do not think I will find a deck with perfect matches to me, a decent match works and then I will enjoy getting to know the new set. Do you have any in mind that you like?

This is the right kind of forum for enjoying cards.

Thanks for all your advice.
I feel like could still go with Animal Lords, but I don't want to buy the same one, because it's gonna me just a mere copy, and not MY old deck.
Currently I'm choosing between 5 decks.. 2 of them are dark : Dark Grimoire and Necronomicon really caught my eye, not to mention my interest in Lovecraft.
The 2nd 2 are more like animal lords, much more cheerful, but mysterious: Fantastic creatures, Divine Animals and Pagan cats .
I only need one deck, so its a tough choice..