Judgement... on Judgement Day

I found this very interesting (and also kind of funny), so I'd like to share it.

As of 3 days ago, I am stopping tarot readings (for myself, mainly, but right now all together) due to anxiety and addiction. When I see cards I don't want to see, I will read over and over until I am satisfied with an answer... only to go back to reading over and over because I want the 'truth', only to continue doubting myself. This, as you can imagine, leads to crazy anxiety.
One topic I did this with, was my relationship with my (now ex...ish...) boyfriend. I kept reading 'What will happen to us?' continuously, and kept getting the Judgement card 7/10 times.
Well, on 'Judgement Day' we broke up. Only now can I look back and see the card was being literal with me... probably very fed up with my constant questioning.
I kept asking if well get back together afterwards, and at first got very hopeful cards (The Star, The Sun, Lovers, 3 of cup, 10 of cups/pents...). I saw this as an ending to our hard times... our 'old' destructive relationship, and a healing, new relationship with each other. One focused more on being friends first/lovers second, staying happy and positive, more than fitting into the archetypical boyfriend/girlfriend bond.
As you guessed, I kept asking... and asking, and asking, and eventually the cards turned very negative. So, that's when I decided tarot was only fueling my anxiety, and I would take things how they go. And no more tarot until I can learn to accept things.

Anyways, just thought I'd share my story. I found the very literal meaning the Judgement card was telling me to be very interesting. Tarot works in funny ways...

Judgment can be a time for cleansing, a time to wipe your slate clean, a new beginning. Most people have a hard time with this because of the mistakes they have made, they cannot forgive themselves and move on. Take this as a learning experience, move from the past and look to the future.

When my mother first started to teach me to read cards, I was about 8 years old (hate to say 45 years ago ), she taught me never to read for myself. She told me that my emotions would block the whispers of my intuition. Reading for yourself as a learning tool is recommended a lot on this site, and I did try doing a daily reading, but alas my mother's warnings were true. I was blinded by my emotions. Although when I occasionally do a reading for myself, I post it in "your readings" here in the forum. I have gotten great insights from members. I rarely post readings that I do for clients, it's privacy thing that my mother drilled into me.

Good luck to you!

Hello, Jayem!

I read a lot for myself, and generally I'm pretty clear about what the cards are saying to me personally.
But one of my personal cardinal rules is: not to do readings on the "future" state of events.
Even when I do the Celtic Cross spread, I'm careful to word the last card as "most likely future outcome."

The future is not set in stone, it depends on many factors, any of which can change following the reading.

Also, I believe there are ethical considerations regarding "future outcome" readings.
For example, if we always knew what was going to happen in the future, we would not need to develop Faith or Intuition.

I think there are other ways to deal with the "anxiety" you mention, without having to quit the Tarot.
When you draw a card or message that you don't like, instead of doing a whole new reading in the hopes of getting a "better" answer, you could:

A. Rephrase your question.
"What will happen to us?" sounds fatalistic in my opinion (this type of question seems to take the control away from you).
"What can I do to strengthen our relationship?" is an example of a more empowering question, giving you a COURSE of ACTION to take in the future.

B. Remove the troubling card from the deck and do a separate reading on just that card (using it a significator), to clarify it.

C. Remove the troubling card from the deck, reverse the card and do a reading with that as a significator, to see how to possibly avoid or soften the influence of this energy.

D. If it is a recurring card, such as Judgement in your example, there are various spreads for recurring cards (for example this one, which I found very helpful http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=14384)

I hope that at least some of these thoughts are helpful to you, Jayem, and good luck with whatever you decide!