Overreacting???

I posted this on the beefs and bouquets thread but wanted some honest opinion from others on an something that happened here yesterday.
My husband and I had a couple visit and the day went well. They are very religious and I knew from previous discussion with the wife that they did not approve of tarot. Several times during the day ( four to be exact) she said she was interested to know more about them but really shouldn't look at them , deferring to her husband. He said she should look at them, they wont hurt you.
so she asks me to p,ease look at a deck , which was fine. They both look through the deck and he likes the art ( he is an artist in his work)
Alls well, until he decides to pipe up and say " well We wont be asking you for a reading, we prefer to get our guidance from God"
Well .... I hadn't offered one and had absolutely no intention of reading for anyone that day.
My husband doesn't understand why I felt this comment was "off". Im not really sure if I'm overreacting but something about it just made me feel angry. Thoughts?

D'you know what denomination they're from? The fact she kept asking HIM for permission bothers me -.-

And it could just be that feeling of getting snubbed. You feel it was disrespectful and that they think you're "not worth it"
don't worry, have gotten it tonnes of times. As much as I respect my beliefs and others, the people that follow part of it are not the most OPEN people on the planet.

I find two things striking about the husband's attitude: he automatically (and rather self-importantly) assumed you would WANT to read for them when you knew very well they have serious discomfort with the practice, and he exhibited the kind of supercilious smugness that hyper-religious fundamentalists of every stripe seem to glory in. I have a sister-in-law who is similarly inflicted, and we just don't discuss such matters with her or her husband. I think your reaction was appropriate; it might have been better to point them at a book they can draw out of the library and read at home. Or I might have just said I don't draw my "gun" unless I intend to use it. That would get them thinking!

I feel his comment just reinforces their (more than likely his) disapproval of Tarot. I'd also be willing to bet if he hadn't of been there......she may have been curious enough to ask for a reading.

I don't blame you one bit for feeling angry - I'm sure, initially, I'd have the same reaction. Mostly because of the wording of his comment - he implies that by reading the cards you don't get YOUR guidance from God. That's an opinion, his opinion, and it reeks of prejudice. Nobody likes being the subject of prejudice, no matter what it might be about. It's a kind of violation, especially when it happens in your own home, and an angry reaction is, I think, quite natural.

If this had happened to me I'd be thinking like this: 'I've just let you in, at YOUR request, to have a look at my cards - something I believe in and care about. Then, having been let in, you choose to put down/invalidate (in no uncertain terms) the thing I believe in and care about'.

Looking a bit deeper - it seems to me that the man may have felt that by acceding to his wife looking at the cards, he could be encouraging the idea of her coming to you for a reading. So he slips in the 'WE won't be asking you' comment to ensure that he's making it crystal clear to HER and to YOU that any possible implication that has arisen from him permitting her to look at the cards is squashed at the outset. Further to this (given your description of the relationship between them) he is reasserting his authority - yes it's okay for her to do a bit of searching/investigation into something that interests her, but only under his dictum (lol). His use of the royal WE indicates this.

Ultimately I'd be thinking 'Well, it's their journey and that's what he felt he needed to do to satisfy his particular theme. It takes all sorts to make a world and some people can't resist the temptation to spread negative energy'. The man's behaviour doesn't say much for his religion though. An old story

hx

Barleywine said:

the kind of supercilious smugness that hyper-religious fundamentalists of every stripe seem to glory in

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Love this! Ohhh so true!

Barleywine said:

I might have just said I don't draw my "gun" unless I intend to use it.

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And this too! Barleywine you have a wonderful way with words I had a magnificent chuckle when I read your post! Hats off to you

bellathebrave123 I do hope you get a chuckle from Barleywine's comment too Humour is always such a brilliant way to dissolve anger

hx

The simple fact that she deferred to him for guidance clearly indicates she's his puppet. She's not her own person, and his hand is on her back. She surely was interested but we musn't upset the husband can we ? He is all knowing and seeing, and knows best for his wife and family. Ugh....

I agree completely with Barleywine.

I don't think you're overreacting! I get so frustrated when people reject something outright without any attempt to become informed. This man formed opinions based on dogma that was forced down his throat without any attempt to be his own man and educate himself. Now he is exerting his brainwashed opinions on his wife who is continuing the cycle of forming uneducated opinions. I give you credit for allowing them to see the deck and for handling the whole thing so graciously!

Barleywine said:

he exhibited the kind of supercilious smugness that hyper-religious fundamentalists of every stripe seem to glory in.

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Barleywine hit the nail on the head. I would've been beyond livid if that had happened to me. I don't care how anyone tries to explain it or justify it, to me it's just disgustingly rude and disrespectful.

bellathebrave123 said:

I posted this on the beefs and bouquets thread but wanted some honest opinion from others on an something that happened here yesterday.
My husband and I had a couple visit and the day went well. They are very religious and I knew from previous discussion with the wife that they did not approve of tarot. Several times during the day ( four to be exact) she said she was interested to know more about them but really shouldn't look at them , deferring to her husband. He said she should look at them, they wont hurt you.
so she asks me to p,ease look at a deck , which was fine. They both look through the deck and he likes the art ( he is an artist in his work)
Alls well, until he decides to pipe up and say " well We wont be asking you for a reading, we prefer to get our guidance from God"
Well .... I hadn't offered one and had absolutely no intention of reading for anyone that day.
My husband doesn't understand why I felt this comment was "off". Im not really sure if I'm overreacting but something about it just made me feel angry. Thoughts?

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I am with your husband. Based on what I read in your post, I would say you are over reacting. They get their guidance from god and do not want a reading, but were open enough to look at the cards, fair enough to me. They did not judge your cards, they liked them. They did not offer you guidance from god, just said they are happy to get their's from this belief in god. If this conversation took place in my house with friends I know as strong Christians, I would not have any problem with the comments.