Was told that a reading was harsh?

Stark Raven

One of my first readings got under someone's skin. It was done via email. I got vibes however, that out of 6 done so far, this 'feeling given off by my reading' was likely a part of at least one more. So my question is this - For those of you with more insight into this, do I assume that they (negative vibes) were a factor overall, or do I assume that it was just the one? Do I carefully whitewash what I say? I'm thinking that I need to jump over to the other side of what I am saying; to me that's nothing more than whitewashing, but whatever.

An example of this in action might be - 'you have been blocked in pursuit of your goal by a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of things'; would become perhaps - 'a more effective way to proceed to your goal would be to focus on the abundance of joy available in all situations. This may seem easy, but the first way is often how it's read (to me anyway). Now I have to become an expert in linguistics too!
 

NikkiB

wiccanfaeriefey said:
One of my first readings got under someone's skin. It was done via email. I got vibes however, that out of 6 done so far, this 'feeling given off by my reading' was likely a part of at least one more. So my question is this - For those of you with more insight into this, do I assume that they (negative vibes) were a factor overall, or do I assume that it was just the one? Do I carefully whitewash what I say? I'm thinking that I need to jump over to the other side of what I am saying; to me that's nothing more than whitewashing, but whatever.

An example of this in action might be - 'you have been blocked in pursuit of your goal by a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of things'; would become perhaps - 'a more effective way to proceed to your goal would be to focus on the abundance of joy available in all situations. This may seem easy, but the first way is often how it's read (to me anyway). Now I have to become an expert in linguistics too!
Click to expand...

I think your example is perfectly fair but I usually match positive and negative... so I would use your first sentence and your second sentence together if that makes sense...
 

AJ

when you say vibes do you mean you 'just got the feeling' the querent wasn't happy?

Or did you get actual feedback?

You probably know in real life sometimes people are just ready to take offence or are on the defensive already. The reading is always for and about the querent and while we can come here and brag or gripe, at the end of the day offering readings means we put our own feelings in the closet for the time being.

I think both of your responses are well worded.
 

Stark Raven

NikkiB said:
I think your example is perfectly fair but I usually match positive and negative... so I would use your first sentence and your second sentence together if that makes sense...
Click to expand...

Thank you, I like this approach!
 

Stark Raven

AJ said:
when you say vibes do you mean you 'just got the feeling' the querent wasn't happy?

Or did you get actual feedback?

You probably know in real life sometimes people are just ready to take offence or are on the defensive already. The reading is always for and about the querent and while we can come here and brag or gripe, at the end of the day offering readings means we put our own feelings in the closet for the time being.

I think both of your responses are well worded.
Click to expand...

The one actually told me via email that my reading was too negative for her. In two other instances I felt it was possible; but this likely only because I had to tell them bad news and I got no response whatsoever, not even feedback.

Thanks for the comment about -'putting one's feelings in the closet', that's good and insightful too. Here's the part that concerns me though, the Tarot, when consulted about this said that I must refine the wording no matter what I feel, as it will make the road to reading professionally lumpier if left as is. Tarot also says that the readings were perceived correctly.


*** I just got an amazing flash of insight - it's the ELECTRONIC MEDIA SYNDROME, not me necessarily. I now believe that the reason that I appear to deliver as strong as an axe wielding psychopath is because you can't see someone's eyes, nor hear their genuine concern, via the Internet nor via email. Hmmm...
 

vee

You know the sandwich method of critiquing? Here's what I liked, here's what needs improvement, here's more I liked? I try to incorporate that into my readings. Good stuff--not as good stuff--good thing that brings hope.
 

lisent

wiccanfaeriefey said:
*** I just got an amazing flash of insight - it's the ELECTRONIC MEDIA SYNDROME, not me necessarily. I now believe that the reason that I appear to deliver as strong as an axe wielding psychopath is because you can't see someone's eyes, nor hear their genuine concern, via the Internet nor via email. Hmmm...
Click to expand...

I'd say this probably contributes to it.. it's always so easy to misinterpret the tone of anything written online.. I remember a few months ago I started a job and a month in I thought the guy who'd hired me hated because of the tone of his emails.. turns out he was just super direct and to the point - nothing to do with me.

I agree that both of your responses are well worded. I don't think you need to whitewash, but keep in mind that the reading should be empowering. I always made it a point of doing something similar to what vee said - sandwiching the good with the bad. Kind of a "here's what bad, but here's what you can do about it to make the best of it".
 

Stark Raven

Thanks vee and lisent duly noted!
 

Zechariah13

wiccanfaeriefey said:
The one actually told me via email that my reading was too negative for her.
Click to expand...

well, if she wasnt ready for the truth she shouldnt have asked. Some people just want to hear positivity all around, and the cards simply cut them down. I had one lady get mad at me because i had effectively told her the same thing that everyone else had. At that point, my only response is "then stop yelling at me and do it for crying out loud"

Life isnt always positivity. I agree that we need to combine criticism (youre dealing to much with the negative) with practical application (you should try to look more into the joys of life as you live), but NEVER whitewash what you have to say. You see what you see for a reason. Can't speak to the vibe thing, though. i only get vibes when people have serious issues and im reading for them, or just sitting in any proximity to them.
 

Stark Raven

Zechariah13 said:
well, if she wasnt ready for the truth she shouldnt have asked. Some people just want to hear positivity all around, and the cards simply cut them down. I had one lady get mad at me because i had effectively told her the same thing that everyone else had. At that point, my only response is "then stop yelling at me and do it for crying out loud"

...but NEVER whitewash what you have to say. You see what you see for a reason. Can't speak to the vibe thing, though. i only get vibes when people have serious issues and im reading for them, or just sitting in any proximity to them.
Click to expand...

Thanks Zek,

Some great points raised here. I think I have some meditating to do...
 
when do you know? How to convey an overly negative reading without scaring your querent to death!