Am I scaring you? [Curious people who seem "scared" of Tarot cards]

Edit: Thank you to everyone who left honest advice and comments.

Hello,

I may be posting this in the wrong section (I hope not : /), but I was just curious to hear some feedback about a little situation/repeat "offending" I seem to be doing.

I am currently a full-time student at a University (college, school, etc) and I've been making it a habit to take at least one of my decks to campus with me. I've mostly been doing it to catch up on reading exchanges I have on AT, but also in a minor hope that someone will see me using the deck and ask for a reading (pipe dream xD).

About a month back, I attended a group orientation for a specific lab relating to my college major. All the participants of the meeting were asked to tell something about themselves. I mentioned that my hobby was to read Tarot cards and immediately there was a mixed response. Some people did not know what Tarot was (understandable), another mentioned about a friend who was Wiccan and used the cards (awesome-possum), while one of the hosting members of the orientation seemed very frightened about Tarot cards ( ).

[Long story short, I gave the "scared" individual a 3-card spread reading in hopes of kind of consoling her/show her that it is not a serious reading. Instead, she got rather more bothered by my pick-up of her Gynecologist appointment the next day through the reading. I think the Tarot reading may have ruined my chance of gaining a position in the lab group >_>]


Another time was when I arrived to class about an hour early and decided to do some quick readings for some AT members. My professor also happened to arrive early that day and became curious to what I was "playing with."
I told him that it was a Tarot deck and I jokingly asked if he wanted a reading. My professor let out a nervous chuckle and said, "No. Maybe later." He did "try" my deck out (the RWS) by prompting it with a question and flipping the top card over to see what the "answer" was. He made his own conclusions based on the images, which I had to admit was rather amusing xD
But during the rest of the hour before class started, he constantly seemed to be "hovering" around me as if he was teetering between the decision of whether to get a reading from me or not.

I personally know now I shouldn't have done the reading for the individual at the group meeting (I see her on campus and she gives me the stink eye), but there's also my professor whom I know has multiple concerns that he may need guidance on.

End of story rant. I guess what I am trying to ask is, what do you do when someone seems to want a reading from you, but seems too hesitant, nervous, fearful, etc about having it done? I can't exactly leave them a business card with my contact info, but letting them know that I can provide a reading for them seems too pushy also.

(Should I even be bothered about this?)

If this were me I think I'd just respect that the professor just doesn't really want a reading from a student of his. This is why I don't read for friends and family - the professor may be worried that you'll see aspects of his private life that really have nothing to do with you and that he doesn't want to be discussing with you. Do you really want to discuss aspects of your professor's private life with him? I know I wouldn't.

I just think that it's not always appropriate to read for everyone and I'd put your teacher, boss or college professor in that category.

If someone wants a reading and they know that you read then they'll ask for one.

You're right, Sulis. I definitely shouldn't be bothered or considering to read for my professor. I blame my busy-body nature when it comes to peoples' issues, but it also relates with the fact that my professor is really a Graduate student/no great age difference.

Still, it is no excuse for me to be worrying about whether I should be trying to give him a reading or not.

Thanks for your input

Once again - we have to consider 'what is an appropriate venue' for a reading.

Bringing your cards to a lab on hobbies is fine, but doing a public reading for someone and talking about the OB/GYN appointments (she may NOT want the group knowing she could be pregnant or have a STD) was way out of line. WRONG PLACE/WRONG TIME.

As far as the Prof - If you sensed he needed or wanted a reading - THAT, TOO - should have been considered and done somewhere else. Once on AT someone discussed that they were doing a tarot reading DURING CLASS TIME for another student and the Prof got bent out of shape because of it - and they didn't understand why. WRONG PLACE/WRONG TIME.

As Tarotists or Tarot Enthusiasts, we all think 'There is no such thing as the wrong time or wrong place for a Tarot Reading!

Telling them that you are available for a private reading will go farther to help your cause than you think because it gives them the 'power' to accept or decline.

Don't take this offensively, but even as a seasoned reader, I'd be a little turned off by the situations you described. I would've thought you were just trying to seek attention, I wouldn't be able to really trust you. Not only that, the classroom for example would be a bad atmosphere to be trying to do that kind of reading and then opening yourself to all sorts of random energies. I'd be distracted by the energy of every person coming through the door in your classroom for example. I would not be able to turn it off. Once I was on campus, I generally tried to stay off.

You also open yourself up to harassment. A piano caught fire in my class the last semester I went to school. If I had done a reading in that classroom and people knew about it, how long would you think it would take for some people to start to wonder if I did anything that caused the fire? Just a thought.

I draw in public all the time so I know what kind of high you can get work in a more lively environment than a studio, but there's gotta be a right time and place and a right attitude. If you make people feel awkward, you're not gonna get a good result from the drawing or reaction (Had a guy tell me the mall was copyrighted lol)... I think it's generally the same for Tarot.

tarotbear said:

Once again - we have to consider 'what is an appropriate venue' for a reading.

As Tarotists or Tarot Enthusiasts, we all think 'There is no such thing as the wrong time or wrong place for a Tarot Reading!

Telling them that you are available for a private reading will go farther to help your cause than you think because it gives them the 'power' to accept or decline.

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True. I think it could be handled in various ways but should probably do things in such a way to avoid unintended problems whether it be the reader or the client. There should be common sense.

My second thought - based on the subtitle of this thread [Curious people who seem 'scared' of Tarot cards] -

The Average Person gets 'spooked' by things that smack of the Occult {their reasons are not part of this discussion} so your innocent but misguided attempt to 'show them how innocent (or helpful) Tarot is' - even if you are the most accurate Tarot reader the Universe has produced (or maybe because you are - go figure!) - is bound to scare them even farther, probably in direct correlation to your accuracy. So telling a frightened person who really doesn't want a reading "Yes - you are going to the Gynecologist tomorrow and your tests are all negative!" is SURE to freak them out!

I am always confused by someone's statement that "they just KNEW that someone needed at Tarot reading." That is because you read Tarot. If you were a garage door saleman, your statement would be 'I just KNEW they needed a new garage door!' If someone wants a Tarot reading, they will seek you out. Yes, you may have to tell them how they can get in touch with you - when or IF they are ready. Determining that someone 'really needs to have their cards read,' is a presumption on your part. And that presumption will scare people off.

Yineth said:

I guess what I am trying to ask is, what do you do when someone seems to want a reading from you, but seems too hesitant, nervous, fearful, etc about having it done? I can't exactly leave them a business card with my contact info, but letting them know that I can provide a reading for them seems too pushy

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If someone does not ask you specifically for a reading, I would not push them to get one done. People will do things in their own time and on their own terms. If you really want to read for money, you should think about doing it in more appropriate venues such as fairs, metaphysical stores, etc. where people are actively seeking readings. Even if you just want to get practice, a tarot meetup or Tarot study group/class would be a better choice.

The previous posts have already brought up some great points. I would never do a reading for someone, especially if they were less than enthusiastic, in front of a group, particularly regarding an OB/GYN appointment. Because, yes, everybody did wonder about it. If you felt that really needed to be brought up, you should have told her that there was something else that you wanted to speak to her about privately and given her the option to accept or decline. To me, any reading, even a freebie, should be confidential. Maybe you felt that you proved the accuracy of the Tarot, but you certainly didn't allay her fears. You may have confirmed them.

I agree with the wrong place/wrong time. It would be great if tarot was more accepted - but it's not.

I have always been very open about the fact I read tarot. I have had a few people ask me for readings at times that might not be appropriate, and I tell them I'd be happy to read for them elsewhere, or at another time.

I have had a few people at work who are curious/scared of tarot. I tell them I would be happy to read for them during my lunch hour, and I use a non-public area. Since I don't take money for my readings, it isn't a violation of my workplace code of ethics.

I am always happy to encourage the curious to get a reading, and find out that it isn't the 'woo-woo' thing they think it is.

It's unclear whether or not you performed the reading on the orientation group member in front of the rest of the group or not, but I don't think it would change the tenor of the (good) advice you've been given in this thread thus far for us to learn that it was a private reading.

And, as your reply to Sulis suggests, you know now that a different approach is wiser.

Generally, though, it's interesting to observe the differences between your approach to tarot-in-public and my own. There are some clear parallels because of the uni connection.

I became interested in tarot at the end of my secondary school education and knew that I would have to wait until left my parents' fundamentalist religious home for university to launch into my tarot studies in earnest.

No sooner had my feet touched the ground of my dormitory room that first semester then I procured a deck and book and began learning. But my instinct was the opposite of yours: I had the urge to take shelter, to protect my burgeoning knowledge and engagement with the cards, to study in solitude away from the curious eyes of others (whether students, community members or, God forbid, professors).

I loved to take my cards out into the world, but only in places where I would not be observed closely as I interacted with them. My favorite place one year was a wooden dock next to a lake on a secluded part of campus. I recently discovered a Polaroid photograph I had taken of a reading there, all those years ago.

That is not to say that I didn't seek out querents to read for. I did, as soon as I felt ready to undertake readings for others. But I went about it in a very formal, structured way such as posting flyers in the student-patronized coffee shop and approaching the director of my residence hall to ask if they would like me to read for free at their annual Halloween party (I did, and it became a tradition).

Yineth said:

I guess what I am trying to ask is, what do you do when someone seems to want a reading from you, but seems too hesitant, nervous, fearful, etc about having it done? I can't exactly leave them a business card with my contact info, but letting them know that I can provide a reading for them seems too pushy also.

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Something that happened at the second year's Halloween party puts me in mind of your question here.

The residence hall director that year was a student herself. She was polite and even enthusiastic about having me read at the Halloween party, but she also had a very prim-and-proper "it's all silly fun for the underclassmen" stance. She was a skeptic not only of tarot's ability to "work," but, I suspect, of the common sense and intelligence of any student who would either give readings or sit for them.

"You are welcome to come in and have your own reading at the party," was all I told her.

She laughed--a bit nervously but also with a shade of superiority--and shrugged off the suggestion.

Whaddya know? She showed up towards the end of the night and deposited herself at my tarot table, again with that funny little laugh. "I figure I might as well since it's Halloween."

Right.

Well, as GoldenWolf's comment suggests, this is what Halloween parties and charity events and Renaissance faires and so forth are for: they offer the skeptical or "fearful" or "nervous" public the perfect excuse to let down the bridge over the moat, so to speak. They have a reason or a justification to open themselves to what they fear.

I think people deserve that opportunity. They deserve for it to feel organic to them and to have that desire originate within them (because although there was an external trigger, the seed of the desire was really there inside them all along).

You (we) take away that opportunity when we try to entice them into sitting for readings, even if we don't do it in so many words.

I respect that you have a much more open attitude towards tarot-in-public than do I. I am glad this is so, because tarot can often be a very solitary or intimate enterprise (even for those of us who read mostly for others, like me), and it can benefit from the infusion of people and life and activity around you.

But, it is possible to take that "openness" too far, if you sitting there laying out cards in certain "Wrong Place/Wrong Time" environments (nod to tarotbear ) becomes ostentatious, drawing eyes that may resent having been drawn.

Readings are always better when the querent--even the proudly professed "skeptic"--approaches us. Or this is what I have experienced, anyway. The issue of the professor's occupation aside--and I wouldn't read for a professor, boss or other supervisor if they begged me to---his dithering behavior does NOT constitute "approaching" you.

If you've already said, "You are welcome to have a reading whenever you like; just let me know," and they're still hovering and dithering...that is not approaching you. Even if they really do want you to take the reins and pull them in (and some of them do), still don't do it.

Readings are more successful when the sitter feels they are the operator behind the drawbridge, that they're the ones lowering it.


Good luck.

Thank you

Thanks everyone for your inputs, advice, criticism, and general honesty. It really helps to know where I'm going wrong in the direction of Tarot readings and how I should/shouldn't approach the subject. I won't go on a long tangent about how I'm still learning, etc, but I do sincerely thank everyone for your advice.

I will be taking all the advice given here to heart and try my best to not forget the lessons told here.