MandMaud
I'd love others' opinions and experiences please. This is part personal about me and someone close to me - part theoretical about interpreting an ethical question. A bit psych/spiritually 'heavy'; avoid if that puts you off.
It's my son, G ... I have asked him, and he has told me not to read the cards for or about him. So I will not (nor let anyone else). But I need to! And he needs it too.
I have once or twice done questions like 'How can I support G?' hoping that this counts as not *about* him, but not sure I'm satisfying my own moral standards here. They're questions for and about myself, but am I really sticking to his rule? In a 'letter of the law, but not spirit of the law' kind of way? I'm hoping to clarify what I feel, if some of you share their own views on this and how you reach those views. (Please ...)
He's 19 and has had depression for a few years; he now occasionally self-harms, and occasionally 'flips', either storming or weeping at people, or running/driving off - without warning that he's aware of, and more importantly without memory of it. Friends have told him afterwards, or it's obvious (finding himself somewhere else, etc). Triggers are hard to identify. It was every few weeks, now it's far more often. He's not secretive about it, though he is a very private person about his social life, love life etc.
Through his childhood he has had relatively a lot of 'body blows', traumatic things, bereavement and similar. His father is also a problem, not a calming influence ... nuff said there I think. I am less concerned about where it comes from, childhood issues etc, than what the hell can be done NOW.
Since the age of seven he has talked about fear of his own anger, and claimed that we've never seen him really angry. He's never done anger expressively, even throughout his 'terrible twos' he had only half a dozen tantrums.
His way of handling hurt or unpleasant experience has been to forget it - all his life - so I feel this recent not-remembering doesn't necessarily mean something serious (medical) is beneath. I sense it's more a case of a lad who is psychically strong, very effectively protecting himself from what in fact he needs to face, not alone and not without protection, but face and overcome / go through. (I don't like the word 'psychic', using it in the 19th century meaning: both psychological/mental and spiritual.) I'm a healer myself and he seems to 'protect' / defend himself from any healing I send, too (he hasn't asked me not to do that), and healing from a couple of friends of mine as well. He doesn't know he does this - if he's strong or psychic, he doesn't know it.
While our relationship is pretty good for talking emotional stuff, he (unlike me) was not born to articulate feelings - very Cups! Sun in Cancer and musical rather than verbal. I've always had the feeling he is strongly intuitive / fey / magical / psychic ... whatever you name it ... but for several years he fiercely rejects anything of what I fondly call the Weird 'n' Wacky, everything from orthodox religion to healing or anything else spiritual. He identifies only with his material side. The rest is a load of tosh, as he forcefully says (that's not his word though!)
There is evidence that he honestly doesn't remember these scary episodes, and doesn't intend (consciously), and is trying to 'fix' himself (as he puts it) - rather than making excuses for example or being too embarrassed to admit he knew what he was doing. I am also pretty sure he's not on drugs, nothing hard anyway and knowing him nothing too expensive!
He is referred for a proper psychiatric assessment / diagnosis, but the waiting list is a minimum 1 year, possibly 3 years. Good ol' NHS. By the time they start unravelling him, he could be in such knots that they never will. (I also have quite a bit of psychology knowledge / experience, and this is the only time I've felt like handing over to professionals because I am at a loss - usually I know as much as they do even if I can't remember the terms for things.) Tarot is just one of the ways I am seeking to know what the hell we and I can do, apart from just sitting and waiting for the next crisis, wondering which incident will get him arrested, or him or someone else badly hurt.
Thank you very much for any thoughts.
mm
It's my son, G ... I have asked him, and he has told me not to read the cards for or about him. So I will not (nor let anyone else). But I need to! And he needs it too.
I have once or twice done questions like 'How can I support G?' hoping that this counts as not *about* him, but not sure I'm satisfying my own moral standards here. They're questions for and about myself, but am I really sticking to his rule? In a 'letter of the law, but not spirit of the law' kind of way? I'm hoping to clarify what I feel, if some of you share their own views on this and how you reach those views. (Please ...)
He's 19 and has had depression for a few years; he now occasionally self-harms, and occasionally 'flips', either storming or weeping at people, or running/driving off - without warning that he's aware of, and more importantly without memory of it. Friends have told him afterwards, or it's obvious (finding himself somewhere else, etc). Triggers are hard to identify. It was every few weeks, now it's far more often. He's not secretive about it, though he is a very private person about his social life, love life etc.
Through his childhood he has had relatively a lot of 'body blows', traumatic things, bereavement and similar. His father is also a problem, not a calming influence ... nuff said there I think. I am less concerned about where it comes from, childhood issues etc, than what the hell can be done NOW.
Since the age of seven he has talked about fear of his own anger, and claimed that we've never seen him really angry. He's never done anger expressively, even throughout his 'terrible twos' he had only half a dozen tantrums.
His way of handling hurt or unpleasant experience has been to forget it - all his life - so I feel this recent not-remembering doesn't necessarily mean something serious (medical) is beneath. I sense it's more a case of a lad who is psychically strong, very effectively protecting himself from what in fact he needs to face, not alone and not without protection, but face and overcome / go through. (I don't like the word 'psychic', using it in the 19th century meaning: both psychological/mental and spiritual.) I'm a healer myself and he seems to 'protect' / defend himself from any healing I send, too (he hasn't asked me not to do that), and healing from a couple of friends of mine as well. He doesn't know he does this - if he's strong or psychic, he doesn't know it.
While our relationship is pretty good for talking emotional stuff, he (unlike me) was not born to articulate feelings - very Cups! Sun in Cancer and musical rather than verbal. I've always had the feeling he is strongly intuitive / fey / magical / psychic ... whatever you name it ... but for several years he fiercely rejects anything of what I fondly call the Weird 'n' Wacky, everything from orthodox religion to healing or anything else spiritual. He identifies only with his material side. The rest is a load of tosh, as he forcefully says (that's not his word though!)
There is evidence that he honestly doesn't remember these scary episodes, and doesn't intend (consciously), and is trying to 'fix' himself (as he puts it) - rather than making excuses for example or being too embarrassed to admit he knew what he was doing. I am also pretty sure he's not on drugs, nothing hard anyway and knowing him nothing too expensive!
He is referred for a proper psychiatric assessment / diagnosis, but the waiting list is a minimum 1 year, possibly 3 years. Good ol' NHS. By the time they start unravelling him, he could be in such knots that they never will. (I also have quite a bit of psychology knowledge / experience, and this is the only time I've felt like handing over to professionals because I am at a loss - usually I know as much as they do even if I can't remember the terms for things.) Tarot is just one of the ways I am seeking to know what the hell we and I can do, apart from just sitting and waiting for the next crisis, wondering which incident will get him arrested, or him or someone else badly hurt.
Thank you very much for any thoughts.
mm
