View Full Version : Help Needed With Confusing Synastry
Hi all. I have a question about a confusing synastry chart which I hope someone can help me with.
I'm currently in a relationship for nearly 7 months (on/off). We started out as friends over a year ago (July 2003) and ended up dating by March '04. I'm an easy-going person, don't like to fight, like romance here and there, and strive towards achieving peace/harmony. My partner, however, seems to lack romanticism (at least, in her actions), appears confused, sends mixed messages, and brings out the most stubborn and confrontational qualities in my character--and I don't understand why! Besides which, we often seem to have difficulties being on the 'same page'...whenever I'm willing to give in to certain issues, my partner pushes the wrong buttons. When she's finally ready to give in, I've just about had it and can no longer tolerate her flip-flopping behavior. And while it seems like a good idea to end things, we have continued to try again and again--though I'm quickly reaching the end of my rope. :(
I've created a synastry chart, with all birth data included and Juno highlighted (my data is the inner circle):
I've already done an extensive syanstry reading on this, which looks fairly hopeful with some kinks to work out...but the reality of the relationship seems far from ideal--in fact, it often seems conflict-ridden and confusing, if not completely defeatist. According to my reading, we're practically "meant to be" (my sun sextiles her moon; my sun trines her North Node; my sun trines her MC; my moon trines her Jupiter). I also see the negatives, esp. in the form of her Saturn squaring my Ascendant, my Venus squaring her Saturn, and my Venus squaring her Uranus. But still...the positives seems very positive. Right? Or am I missing something here in my interpretation??
I would love to hear some feedback or pointers, as things feel painfully hopeless at this time. Curious to know what everyone else sees in this...
Thanks, everyone! :)
Before looking at synastry, you should examine natal chart. You have Venus on your DC with a wide trine to Jupiter. Merc in 5th trining Neptune. Your need for physical affection and trust run very very high, esp w/your Scorp ASC.
Now look at your partner's chart. From a quick glance I can see she has Saturn in 7th squaring Venus. This is a very cold, challenging aspect and often denotes that love is found later in life than normal. Furthermore Venus is detriment in Scorpio, and Saturn is the chart ruler (Cap ASC) making Saturn's restrictions on Venusian love all the stronger.
Clearly, relationship-needs here requires a lot of negotiation.
Hampering this negotiation is the synastric Neptune conj Moon, Mars conj Moon, but mostly, her Saturn also squaring your Venus and your ASC/DC. While your moons do make some positive contacts, they are not free of affliction (remember, conjunctions are the strongest aspect) and are not in compatible signs.
isthmus, thanks for that feedback. I agree--her Saturn dampens the scenario more than I care to admit.
But please help me clarify one thing...are you basically saying that my partner's Saturn influence is so restrictive in her chart that it prevents Venusian expressions, and since my Venus is exalted in its natural sign of Taurus (enhanced by my Scorpio Ascendant) that I expect more than she will ever be able to give in matters of the heart? In other words, I will often be disappointed in that case?
I agree the relationship requires lots of negotiating, and while I'm willing to negotiate, she can't seem to come to a satisfactory conclusion--for me, or herself. I think her chart being ruled by Saturn makes her too cautious in general, right?
I think Isthmus' point is that you should start with the two individual birth charts and look at the characteristics they display. Put your synastry chart on oneside. Look at your element and quality balance, look at the strong and weak planets and the aspects. Sun, Moon and Ascendant positions. These are the basics but they are also the fundamentals.
The synastry chart may seem to indcate attractions - and they are obviously there - but attraction does not guarantee a long lived relationship. From your reading of your personality and her personality do you think that you are likely to get on ? then look at the synastry, only when you've exhausted the natal charts.
The Saturn square is quite wide, so it's not overly restrictive at all. The conjunction with Uranus in the ninth might well be more relevant, as far as Venus is concerned. however look at the basics first. As well as the basic planetary placements, look at the rulers - her seventh is ruled by the Moon - what is she looking for from a relationship? She has Saturn in detriment in the seventh, what affect might that have on the way she approaches relationships? - How does that compare to your approach to relationships, with Venus ruling the seventh and on the cusp ? What about Mars in your seventh - how does that affect the way that you approach relationships?
These and lots more questions are where you should head. This will be a lengthy process but it is nescessary, if you are going to get the answers you seek.
Minderwiz, thanks for the pointers. I hope you don't mind if I work out some of the feedback that you gave on here? It'd be a great learning experience for me. :)
Tell me if I'm right or not, if you don't mind.
The Venus conjunct Uranus in my partner's chart means she doesn't like to be restricted, likes her freedom, and likes change often. The 7th being ruled by Moon might mean she looks for relationships that give her a great sense of emotional connection, but her feelings might also ebb and flow--it might be a moody connection, perhaps? (I could attest for this!). And the Saturn in the 7th House would mean that she has a lot of rocky relationships (too true) and might need someone older/more mature to "lead" her in the relationship to make it more stable, even though once she gets that, she might actually resent that same stability, feeling it restricts her freedom--lots of push and pull. How am I doing so far?
My Venus in the 7th and on the Descendant would mean I need stability, security, nurturing, romance, and possibly someone I can idealize a bit (guilty as charged), and closeness...and a partner who will provide me not only with emotional but financial security. So I'm looking for stability, but my current partner needing the same from her "ideal" partner...might be an issue with both of us seeking but neither finding that in the other? Though her Descendant in Cancer would match mine in Taurus, making for a good home-life together, IF we even get that far. Right?
Mars in 7th in mine--I need excitement, don't like to be bored, and need a lot of physical affection. I work hard to create security in the relationship, though since Mars in Taurus represses the aggressive energy of Mars, I probably have moments of 'controlled' aggression--whether that be sexual or temperamental. Physical affection highly plays out in this placement but it also adds aggression outside the bedroom. It may create arguments, which seem to be common enough in my relationships..though it takes a LOT to push me to get into one. And this somewhat negates the stability that I seek--as does my partner's needs--and upset the apple cart. But ultimately, I seek security and maybe my partner is greatly challenged in providing this for me, and since I need to idealize a partner, this might disappoint me in regards to the relationship, as well as my partner, therefore creating disharmony.
Am I at all on the right track?
Yes, not a bad start at all. Venus conjunct Uranus is likely to mean that she is independent in terms of relationships - that might mean sudden changes, an enjoyment of a relationship that's unusual or just oddball. Venus in the ninth suggests that she might well like relationships that involve travel or learning. As Venus is in detriment in Scorpio, she might find it difficult to express herself well in relationships (subject to the rest of the chart) she might keep things quiet or hidden, but she may well be willing to put herself into relationships with a great intensity.
You're right about the moodiness in partnerships and the need to give and receive nurturing - she might also see partnerships as giving her security and protection. Her Moon is in exaltation in Taurus and angular, so it's strongly placed and in the fourth, indicates that home and family are likely to be very important, as is her own deep needs.
Saturn in the seventh might mean simply an attraction to older men, or it might indicate some restriction or limit in her ability to manage relationships - it's in Leo and in Detriment so it might make it difficult to keep the relationships going. It also squares the Venus/Uranus conjunction, so there is going to be some tension between the expression of her Venus/Uranus side and her desire for safe and secure relationships. She's pulled in two ways here.
Yes your Venus placement is very important - it's in dignity and angular. Venus is also the sole dispositor of your chart - directly or indirectly it rules the rest. You need stability in partnerships and you have a very sensuous approach to them - Mars is also your Ascendant ruler, so we have another focus on partnerships. Mars is also your Planetary Hour Lord (you were born in the hour of Mars)
You have a fairly even element balance, in terms of qualities you are an initiator and also very adaptable - not always being able to see things through is the weaker side to your nature. She's a little bit more stubborn than you.
Just a big word of caution - we've been talking about a part of the chart, rather than looking at all of it - so it may well be that we might modify these intepretations in the light of other features.
sorry I can't provide any addtional insights at the moment, since I have some problems with synastries too...
Does someone know any online links, that offer basic and maybe a bit more points on how to do a synastric reading?
I'm off the book zone at the moment, and I wish i had a synastry book. I usually do comparison charts (location reference) and find these very useful. I would love to expand on the synastric as well....
Yes! Totally on the right track. As Minderwiz and I have stressed though - return to the natals to see about compatibility. If it's too troublesome, no sense in spending too much w/synastry.
If you want to further your analysis, try looking at how the rulers of the "relationship" houses (your partner's moon for example) is aspected. Is her moon actually opposing Venus? (Can't tell from the file you've uploaded)
www.astrology-numerology.com is a good place to begin.
I actually know that site very well, but I guess not well enough...as i have not looked at the synastry part yet! ;)
Minderwiz and Isthmus, thank you for the feedback. I'm still learning and am glad to know that I'm somewhat on the right track. :) I will be looking more into the natal charts and their aspects; lots going on there, it's impressive.
FYI, here are both of our charts with placements, houses, aspects, etc. for future reference when I post more on it here. :)
The first one is -MINE-:
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Pisces 17°16'20 05 direct
Moon Sagittarius 11°11'03 02 direct
Mercury Aries 03°24'09 05 direct
Venus Taurus 00°41'11 07 direct
Mars Taurus 17°15'15 07 direct
Jupiter Capricorn 04°53'19 03 direct
Saturn Gemini 00°47'23 08 direct
Uranus Libra 17°28'28 12 retrograde
Neptune Sagittarius 05°15'21 02 stationary (R)
Pluto Libra 01°04'30 11 retrograde
True Node Aquarius 04°15'27 04 retrograde
**House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Scorpio 00°09'31
2nd House Scorpio 28°41'25
3rd House Capricorn 00°23'59
Imum Coeli Aquarius 04°09'07
5th House Pisces 06°55'18
6th House Aries 05°50'51
Descendant Taurus 00°09'31
8th House Taurus 28°41'25
9th House Cancer 00°23'59
Medium Coeli Leo 04°09'07
11th House Virgo 06°55'18
12th House Libra 05°50'51
Sun Square Moon 6°05
Sun Sextile Mars 0°01
Sun Quincunx Uranus 0°12
Moon Trine Mercury 7°47
Moon Sextile Uranus 6°17
Moon Conjunction Neptune 5°56
Mercury Square Jupiter 1°29
Mercury Sextile Saturn 2°37
Mercury Trine Neptune 1°51
Mercury Opposition Pluto 2°20
Venus Trine Jupiter 4°12
Venus Quincunx Pluto 0°23
Venus Opposition Ascendant 0°32
Mars Quincunx Uranus 0°13
Jupiter Square Pluto 3°49
Jupiter Sextile Ascendant 4°44
Saturn Opposition Neptune 4°28
Saturn Trine Pluto 0°17
Saturn Quincunx Ascendant 0°38
Neptune Sextile Pluto 4°11
This is -HERS-:
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Sagittarius 23°06'23 11 direct
Moon Taurus 19°03'48 04 direct
Mercury Capricorn 02°25'29 12 direct
Venus Scorpio 10°04'44 09 direct
Mars Gemini 22°55'04 05 retrograde
Jupiter Aries 14°47'37 02/3 direct
Jupiter is technically near the end of house 2 and is interpreted in house 3.
Saturn Leo 02°06'35 07 retrograde
Uranus Scorpio 05°41'52 09 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 11°56'27 11 direct
Pluto Libra 11°27'04 08 direct
True Node Scorpio 21°35'05 10 direct
**House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Capricorn 25°51'58
2nd House Pisces 07°09'56
3rd House Aries 15°33'25
Imum Coeli Taurus 15°24'06
5th House Gemini 09°21'06
6th House Cancer 01°24'14
Descendant Cancer 25°51'58
8th House Virgo 07°09'56
9th House Libra 15°33'25
Medium Coeli Scorpio 15°24'06
11th House Sagittarius 09°21'06
12th House Capricorn 01°24'14
Sun Opposition Mars 0°11
Moon Trine Ascendant 6°48
Mercury Quincunx Saturn 0°19
Mercury Sextile Uranus 3°16
Venus Conjunction Uranus 4°23
Mars Quincunx Ascendant 2°57
Jupiter Trine Neptune 2°51
Jupiter Opposition Pluto 3°21
Saturn Square Uranus 3°35
Neptune Sextile Pluto 0°29
Good luck w/your analysis! Do let us know if you find stuff you'd like to share :)