Some advice.....

How objective can you be when you are doing a reading for yourself in regards to a difficult love/romance (a tragic romeo and juliet story) situation? I worry about the validity of any reading I do for myself since I can't distance myself. Doe this put strain on the cards?

Thanks. Contessa

For important things like that, I get others to read for me. I have trouble being objective as well. I often think i am reading a different story in the cards than what I should.

I do however conduct daily readings, and readings which don't hold as much importance on myself.

But I think it is up to the individual. Why don't you try doing a reading. If you think you are reading too much into your cards, take up an offer on the reading exchange. Or you could do both, and compare the two readings.

Moonlight

reading for yourself

Ahh. I know that I can't do an accurate reading for myself, especially when the matter at hand is a highly charged emotional one.
Oh sure if I'm wondering about my day ahead, a planned trip, a business matter, smaller & more immediate things, I may be able to read accurately for myself.
This has me reflecting upon a big Piers Anthony spread I did for myself that was supposed to cover 3 to 7 years. There were clear indicators of a difficult relationship in my future, but I didn't relate those indicators to the people and situations that I encountered. I went through those difficult experiences anyway, heedless of the warnings.
This is the meat of the matter, I feel: the cards are always right, it is the interpretation that may be off. 'Cause of this I may still try to do a reading for myself, but I look at them and go "that's OK, that is tricky, and I wonder who that is" & I will jot down the cards to compare to life later.
I think it takes a degree of objectivity to do an accurate, even psychic reading for someone. When I do a serious reading for someone I'm going for physical descriptions of others in their life, specific situations & environments in their future. Stuff I will never get doing a reading for myself. Don't mean to sound like an arrogant ( ! ) but my high expectations make it hard for me to find a reader as good as me! : )
So if I really need some boost of insight, I use the I-Ching! Or look at the lunations, transits and progressions in my horoscope.
Merry Meet

Contessa said:

How objective can you be when you are doing a reading for yourself in regards to a difficult love/romance (a tragic romeo and juliet story) situation? I worry about the validity of any reading I do for myself since I can't distance myself. Doe this put strain on the cards?

Thanks. Contessa

Click to expand...

I'm not sure what you mean by "put strain on the cards?". Do the cards feel our angst? Or just reflect it back to us?

I like to use the cards to gain perspective sometimes. By doing a spread about something I am confused about, it gives me the opportunity to look at it from multiple angles - almost like pulling a knot apart and looking at it from a more removed position. Think of a completely objective friend (or therapist) who does not project their views, but merely reflect ours back to us through a prism of perspectives we may not have considered on our own in a thousand lives.

Hi Contessa,
You can do this, but the interpretation will be difficult because of your own hopes and fears which may cause you to interpret the cards as you wish rather than as they are giving their message.

One 'trick' that I sometimes use, and I have seen others here mention it, is to pretend that you are doing the reading as for a stranger. A couple here mentioned the visual aid of putting a doll or teddy on the table across and addressing your comments to them. It sounds odd, but it has worked for me. I find myself explaining things to the pseudo-querent very earnestly, even giving myself advice.
Best of luck.

It doesn't sound odd to pretend you are reading for a stranger. I do that all the time for myself and many times I do get answers I don't want and often would ignore if I did read for myself directly. But reading this way I do state things objectively and find it works quite well.

Another "trick" (not really a trick) is to factor in your bias - to designate positions in a spread specifically for them. Hopes and Fears often covers it, but you can also have "my feelings" - separated in conscious and unconscious feelings; "projections"; etc.

It is possible - even very helpful - to read tarot for oneself, but difficult when the topic is particularly emotional - I find it almost impossible at times. I-ching gives me more "on the money" answers in those cases. If you feel yourself in a moment of detachment & serenity - then you can attempt it.

There is also the perennial problem of seeing the issue, the difficulties & the outcome - and going ahead regardless. But that's not only when you read for yourself. I could be given a reading that tells me this or that won't work out & still ignore it. We are strange creatures, human beings - we think we can manipulate everything and "create our future". The only thing we can create is our own state of mind, which has an influence on how we face outside events & other people, whether we are proactive or passive, etc - but can't make someone else love us or the hurricane hit elsewhere.

Thanks for the advice.

I appreciate everyones input into the matter of doing a "self reading" on a intense personal matter.

The advice of acting as if you are doing a reading for someone else (with the use of a prop for the querant) is a clever tip. Also having a designated position in a spread for "hopes and fears" to get a more accurate reading is good idea also. I will keep them in mind. But for now, it is probably best for me to avoid reading for myself on such an important matter. I would rather have someone else do it for me, that way I know I am not "coloring" the reading (the whole spread) with my own wishes.

Thanks. Contessa

Contessa: A belated welcome to Talking Tarot!

I am one who uses a 'Tarotbear' as a stand-in. About half my size, works like a charm!

& no matter the results, he judges not & always smiling. Sits permanently at my kitchen table & keeps me company during Tarotwork (family has given up getting me to move it)

Meewah, you made me laugh out loud.

I read your post too quickly and for a moment thought you were saying our Tarotbear (on Aeclectic) was camped at your kitchen table. Couldn't figure out how his husband would feel about that. And how I could borrow him to come perch at my table during readings.

Having one of those dopey Saturday mornings...

With regards to Contessa's query, I think journaling your spreads can be a big help. Coming back to a spread with the clarity of time may help you see where you were massaging the reading ever so slightly... which in turn will help you get a sense of the ways in which the subjectivity creeps in.