Needing to start over... tips?

Allright I am going to sound like a weirdo, I know.

Recently I have picked up my interest in Tarot again... I have been laying cards since I was a young lad (13 yrs I think, I'm thirty now) but have turned my back on them for a quite some time, up untill two years back.

I slowly restarted getting to know the cards again... lately, the last few months I have noticed I have been giving them more and more attention, doing spreads for people and adding new decks to my collection and knowledge to my mind.

However some time ago the concept of doing proffessional readings spawned in my mind... so I started asking around and seeking information. Off course the last thing I did was to consult the cards themselves. To be quite honest it was ... confronting. The single thing I could get out of the reading(s) was to let go of arrogance and start over. Now I am not a professional yet ad I have to consult my books from time to time, however I feel that I have a talent for finding links in my readings, get a good message across and for reading my querants.

However I must admit the cards did have a point as far as not being ready, but starting from scratch, with the knowledge I have seems as good as impossible... how would any of you guys go about this? I can't ignore having to get to the heart of it all, and in that sense I believe the deduction the cards gave me has a lot of vallue, but in what way I should approach this is unclear to me.

Are you asking us whether you should do Tarot professionally or how you should continue studying the cards? I can't advise you on the former. But if it's the latter, I would suggest, since you know the basics already and you've bought a few decks, to study the nuances of the cards. Individually or in spreads. For example, if you study the High Priestess, compare the images of the different decks and see what new insight you get. I think you can never have enough decks. Deepens your knowledge of the cards.

It seems to me that you are wondering how to become a beginner again, which brings to mind the old saw "you can't go home again."

I don't think that you necessarily need to try to regress to a complete beginner state in order to demonstrate respect for the Tarot. Why not just study further instead. Perhaps building upon your knowledge would be a better course of action than making the immediate leap to go pro. In my recent searches for books about Tarot I've found that there are many that assume a reader knowledge base that is way out of my league, which might be perfect for someone like yourself who is advanced but a little out of the loop. Maybe you could view your new endeavor as a sort of return to Tarot college after having dropped out to party or work for a little while; go back and get your Master's degree.

You stopped reading for "a while"- It seems to me that this means a few years?

So the real question is DO you really want to go pro? Why? Seems like you already found that your dedication wasn't really with the cards (not saying that it has to be, but what makes you think that you will enjoy *working* as a tarot reader when you already had lost interest at one time in your *hobby* as a tarot reader?)

If it's a quick fix (an easy way to find a career path) it seems that it isn't the way to go. If it is truly calling you, then maybe you should go for it.

Keep in mind that when money is exchanged, people will have greater expectations from you, and it may make something that you currently enjoy into the worst four letter word of all: work! You are in danger of actually killing the joy of tarot...... Just a friendly warning.

Either way, I'm not advanced enough to help you get any better at reading except to say- keep reading for others, and keep studying.

I know it is a weird if not complex question to answer...

Thanks for the replies thus far... since I obviously left out some details required to adequately approach my dillemma let me fill in the blanks.

Yes I have "dropped out" a couple of years due to some very difficult private matters which definately stagnated any path of spiritual- or any other personal growth. However I have taken the hurdles and triumphed over the obstacles in my path, I have refound myself and am now reclaiming those htings in life I considered mine.

In more detail, I was in a relationship that was filled with emotional abuse (though I did not recognize it as scuch then) and I was as such more or less forced to fit in a frame my ex partner was dictating me. I would have continued with my tarot, if she would have allowed me to spend money on it, even thoug I would have done so "low profile" because she would... well, make fun of me in the best case scenario. It may sound weird that a (then) 25 year old martial artist of six foot three would let himself be treated like that, but believe me life deals weirder cards.

My wish to go professional is in first not out of financial need, though I am far from wealthy or even without financial problems, I have little need for material gain, but I would definately like to increase my scale or reach and would off course like to be compensated for my efforts. Without wanting to sound full of myself, I think I have something to offer with my readings combined with both my knowledge of psychology and my, if you will empathic talents.

Still, my feelings and therefore the cards seem to feel the need for "getting back to the roots" and as stated before my own readings seem to point in the direction of "starting over". I have no clue how to do that, or in which way I should "read" that.

Quizeen your post seems to rationalize my own thoughts on the matter and I feel that you have pointed me in a good direction, thank you.

Hey, emotional abuse knows no gender. (((hugs))) Don't feel ashamed. You were trying to make things work with someone impossible to please.

One way I've been able to start fresh with tarot from time to time, aside from getting a new deck, is to read entirely intuitively. Try the Intuitive Reading group exercises in the Reading Exchange here. Look at the images only, forget the canned or memorized meanings. Forget the numerology and the elemental dignities. Just let the image speak whatever crazy thing it brings to mind. When you read this way, the same card says entirely different things each time you see it.

Hang around here. Aeclectic is by far the most amazing resource for stretching one's tarot wings and path. You'll see things about the cards you never have before just by reading and participating here.

Trust the process. Don't rush.

And welcome.

Mercy

After doing tarot for a long, long time, I more or less stopped for a number of years (destroyed my deck!) Mostly because my head was messed up.

I don't think it means I am not serious in what I am doing, or that I do not have 'dedication'.

It just means my life went down a different path for a while.

It's hard to go back to the beginning. It's almost impossible to take knowledge out of your head so you can learn it fresh.

I think Mercy's idead of reading intuitivly is a good one. As your mention of 'consulting the book occassionaly' leads me to believe that this would be a new road for you. A new way of learning.
One in which you would, in a way, be going back to the beginning.

Good luck.

One thing I know after being on Aeclectic is that I can never know everything ! Some on here have made it a lifetime study. I can understand why it is fascinating, always changing and all those new decks out there. I feel like I am going back to the beginning every time I buy a new deck. Some are not similar at all.

Nocturnal Lure said:

The single thing I could get out of the reading(s) was to let go of arrogance and start over.

Click to expand...

The key word here is 'arrogance'. I recognise it well. I have been through abuse, and when you come out the other side having 'won the battle', we do carry an 'arrogance'.... and why not? It is a hard battle indeed to reclaim ourselves. But, just as accepting abuse (and I don't mean consciously - it creeps up - it is insidious) is one extreme, so, when we find out way out and reclaim ourselves, for a while, we hit the other extreme ... psychic inflation with attendent unconscious arrogance. Our egos can get out of control. We feel good, proud, we have truimphed. And yes, we have a right to feel proud, and good about ourselves, and to feel that sense of triumph ... but the old saying 'pride comes before a fall' is a true one. We need to re-centre ourselves - Temperance - find that balance. In the wands .. triumph is card 6 ... only part way through the journey. So too the Chariot - we have moved on, mastered a situation using our will, but we are still in the early stages of our personal and spiritual development.

Starting over ... I don't think refers to re-learning the cards here, but to rediscovering or discovering the balanced new you inside and out, and to use the cards to do it. We need to be tested when we have been through such an experience and come out the otherside ... we need to find out whether we could backslide, or become an abuser ourselves (No!, you say, holding your hands up in horror. The reality is, my friend, that most abusers have themselves been abused). These 'abuse' lessons don't come in the same form - otherwise we would immediately recognise them, but at different levels of the spiral upwards. You have come a long, long way my friend ... but there is still time to focus on the inner you.

If you become a professional reader, you will have people who could easily become dependent on you and treat you like a god. You have been treated like dirt ... imagine how nice it would be to be treated like a god? You will say ... but no, I wouldn't allow that. People will treat you that way anyway ... and you need to be very balanced indeed not to let it go to your head.

What happens when you are confronted with an abuser, or an abused person? ... how sure are you really that you can keep your own stuff - your own experiences where they belong? You have been through much, which sprouts empathy, but it can also sprout ego. Give yourself some time to rebalance, and use your cards on inner work ... or don't! It is, of course, up to you. But, having been there, and having 24 years more on earth than you ... this is what I posit that the cards are telling you. Of course I could very well be wrong ... wouldn't be the first time ... nor the last.

And yes ... be proud of your journey so far. I know how hard it is to come through such and experience ... just don't let the truimph overwhelm you.

Bless you my friend
mythos

MM, Nocturnal Lure,
A lot was already said in this thread which I can second but another point of being a professional reader comes to my mind: how will you deal with the emotional aspect of being a reader?

- How will you feel when there sits a querent in front of you and tells you s/he is determined to commit suicide and you know you have only a couple of minutes to talk this out of the querent's head?

- How will you handle a querent suffering from schizophrenia?

- How will you handle a querent who has just lost her only son due to drug abuse?

These questions are not made up but from what may sit in front of you when you go pro.

Being a professional reader you always have to keep in mind that you also have responsibility for the ppl seeking your advice. But you also have to take care of yourself and to prevent yourself from burn-out.