When they want to "test" you

Gardener

Hello all,

Asking for advice here. I'm really at the beginning of my path of becoming a professional reader, have only read cards for money a few times, so far. And I'm finding that I do have a few strenghts - I can usually make them laugh - but also a couple weak spots. The one that I ran into last night was the woman who wants to "test" the "fortuneteller." Her approach was, "I have a secret, can you tell me what it is?" It wasn't quite that blunt, she wasn't unfriendly about it, just that she thought my role was to tell her about her life, things "only a psychic could know". The problem is, I'm a very intermittent psychic. Sometimes I gots it, but mostly I don't. I certainly didn't with her.

So. When you aren't feeling all-knowing, and the querent wants to test you, how do you handle the situation?
 

ArcanoMáximo

Hi!Gardener!
"only a psychic could know"
but you say to your clients that you are a psychic or a Tarot reader or both?
That's why I say that I' m not a psychic, and only will tell what Tarot wants to show to the person, most of time it speaks about those deep secrets,btw,
but only if needed.
hmmm...
in this case, Tarot didn't tell nothing?

And about what to do,
i always ask to the querent if He/She wanna test me
or to be helped,
that's work good for me :) !!!
 

Grizabella

I've just started reading for money, too, but before I started reading for money, I ran into some querents like that. I just say "I read cards, I don't read minds" and explain that there's a difference. Reading cards can sometimes seem like we're reading minds, but for me, it's not that. One paid client a couple of days ago offered to give me the birthdates of she and another person, too, and I told her that I just read the cards. I don't think there's anything wrong with just specialising in reading Tarot. I think people respect me more for being up front that that's what you do than if I tried to live up to what their idea of a Tarot reader is.

It's a deer in the headlights feeling for me, though, when a person expects me to guess the secret, so to speak. I've done cold readings and been right on quite a few times but I just don't like doing it. It makes me feel like I'm hanging off a cliff, groping in the dark. It's easier to interact.
 

magpie9

I think everybody gets the client who wants to play guessing games now and then. It's a real pain.
If I feel that the sitter is doing it as some sort of conscious "test" that they want me to "fail" I usually point out that at a dollar a minute I can cast around trying to figure out what they want to know, or they can tell me what they want to know and we can get some information that they don't know.
If I feel like the situation is inherently not malicious I'm gentler with them.

Another way to handle it is to lay out 3 cards and just read them without trying to clarify the subject. It should give you the basic situation, and they usually open up and start interacting at that point. This is usually how I start a reading anyway, to make sure we're all on the same page.

Hope some of this helps!
 

Alissa

I say: "I'm psychic... I'm not omniscent." And I give them my most scathing Dont !$%# With Me look.
 

Mystica

magpie9 said:
If I feel that the sitter is doing it as some sort of conscious "test" that they want me to "fail" I usually point out that at a dollar a minute I can cast around trying to figure out what they want to know, or they can tell me what they want to know and we can get some information that they don't know.

That's a great approach, I never thought of putting it that way!
 

lark

Oh Gardener! This is the bane of my exsistance as a psychic reader.
I sooo know what you're talking about.
We wrote up a pamplet and when someone pulls that on me I give them the pamplet and ask them to spend a minute reading it.
I excuse myself and let them sit alone for a few minutes.
When I come back they have usually changed their mind and if not I spend some time explaining that this experience is for them and in order to have a really good reading experience they need to drop the games and participate in their reading.... it's a collaboration, not a parlor trick entertainment.
What Magpie said is also something I so agree with.
I tell them they are being unfair to themselves, they are wasting their time and money...it is of no concern to me, the cards will say what they want to say regardless, and go where they want to go.
But give them a direction and we can really get to work, and to the heart of your desire...why you walked in the door.

The bottom line Gardner is ...we don't have to prove anything.
By the time they sit for their reading, they have taken the time to find us, pay us, and they have already made up their mind to have a reading.
They owe it to themselves to get the reading they came for.
And if they chose to sit back, remain passive, give away their power and not enter into the relationship of the reading...well then I just read.
And if they go away unhappy at least I know I have done everything in my power to help them have a good reading experience.
I have done my part.
I have been true to my gift.

And I am a psychic reader....but nothing shuts down my abilities faster than "You're the psychic you tell me!"
I had such a bad experience with a woman 2 weeks ago I almost stopped reading publicly.

She would not ask a question or give me a direction for her reading.
Even after the pamplet and the talk.
She just gave me the old line, "You're the psychic you tell me."
So I read cold.
It was a good reading, alot of info. for her.
But she fought with me on every point.
Kept telling me I was wrong.
I would stop and say well my cards and my intuition are saying this and I trust them..then she would backtrack and say '"Well, yes, what you are saying is true I just wanted to test you and see if you would change your story if I disagree with you."
When her time was up she said "Do you mind if I ask a question?"
I thought she was going to ask a question about what I had just read....
Instead she recited a laundry list of questions she now wanted me to give her quick answers for!
"Could you just pull a card for this.. how about that..."
I just sat there staring at her.
I was shocked that she would blantantly try and extract extra time from me as if I owed her something more, when she had given me such a hard time throughout the whole reading!
I just sent her to the front desk and told her there would be a fee for another reading.
When she protested I said "Next time ask your question's up front."

I spent a long time thinking about this later.
And yes, I am here to provide guidance, but never to be disrespected or used.

Bill yourself as what you want to represent.
Think carefully about what you write in a flyer or pamplet you pass out, because that is what they will expect you to deliver.
And be clear about your personal guidelines and boundries...view them as a protection for yourself.

And if you feel they are baiting you or testing you and you feel uncomfortable about that there is no shame in handing them back the money and telling them that you don't work that way and why.
It'll shock the heck out of them, but maybe they'll walk away with a new understanding of what a reader is.
That is what I should have remembered to do in the above case.

Holly Cow this got way to long, sorry :|
I've just thought long and hard about this and it was good to get it out and down on paper and have a look at it with all of you.
Thank you for the question Gardener!
 

Alta

lark! what a wonderful helpful story. I rarely read live because of my fears around such events. This was a very heartening thoughtful analysis.
 

lark

Thank you Marion :)
Being a reader is one of the most fufilling experiences I've ever had and the only thing I've ever done in life that I truly feel is my calling.
And the above experience is maybe one in every 100 readings.....but when it happens it is discouraging.
Although I always seem to find a lesson in it somewhere.
(This time it was no matter what they say trust my higher self.)
And the rewards of reading far out weigh the regrets...

I think Marion you would be an excellent public reader.... :D
 

Gardener

Thanks all for your suggestions and stories. And especially thanks to lark for all of that! I agree that being a pro reader is rewarding, but for me right now the challenges still outweigh the rewards. My one really good moment last night was with a woman who was very unhappy in her marriage, determined to find out, through the cards, if her husband was cheating on her. I managed, gently, to bring the focus onto her, her own unhappiness with him, rather than on his (possible) actions. She finally admitted that she needed to look at what she really wanted.

Hm, the more I think about it, the more postive I feel about the whole evening. Interesting. Somehow the personal growth stuff stays with me, and the awkwardness of that first reading is fading.

Tarot really is infinitely fascinating...