knowing tarot and guilt

i feel guilty for having upper hand (if you can ever really have that with knowing tarot - maybe not - maybe you can see some things but doesnt necessarily give you power or whatever)

when i have relationship problems i do a reading and can see whats going on
i feel guilty for having upper hand over other person - i feel like i'm sneaking and dishonest unless i tell them
but do you REALLY? have upper hand
same with knowing astrology and saying doing a synastry chart with other person and you get to read about it and see things and they have nothing to do with any of it - dont have that extra little bit of knowledge if it is that

should you feel any guilt? or just not and leave it to things working out as they do - you may have access to tarot but maybe thats no different to other person having access to anything else - be it experience, their actions, thoughts etc - they may or their friends have so much experience and knowlege in life that THEY DO have upper hand (where as you resort to just feelings, tarot, whatever to get along with it)

anyone know what i'm talking about? think i'm talking about power in a relationship and not misusing it
((((

Referring to star-lover's opening post, I do not see why doing 'a reading and can see what's going on' in one's relationship is 'having the upper hand'.

Insights into situations may be gained from meditation on the situation, on reading about similar situations through novels (or films) or psychology books, or talking to close friends who know our personal situations.

It seems that ever increasingly we are concerned about not engaging in life by placing rules and regulations that suposedly 'protect' another's personal space.

In my personal view, to do a reading, or to discuss with friends, one's own situation, is not only not having the 'upper hand', but shows rather that one both cares and seeks to deepen understanding.

I agree with jmd. Since relationships, to me, aren't about power-over, the understanding gleaned using tarot is just one of many tools I use to understand others. Understanding someone and seeking information about them to use somehow to gain control over the situation or some other purpose are two very different things.

Mercy

I don't see any reason for guilt. If I am with someone they know I am a Tarot reader and that I use it at least partially as a means of problem-solving. I don't think it would suprise them that I do a reading on whatever is troubling me. I would think they know I am worried about something in the relationship they can pretty well figure out I am using the tools at my disposal to come to deal with it. So it is not sneaking behind their back.

Since they know I do read, unless they specifically tell me to let them know before I do a reading on them, I am free to do it. If they told me not to do a reading on them outright, I would no longer be with that person.

Depending on how open the person is to Tarot, if it is someone very open to it, I would share the reading with him after. Some like my current boyfriend do not have all that much respect for it, so he does not hear about it.

Maybe the most important thing is that IF I do a reading about him, it has nothing to do with anyone having the upper hand. A good relationship is based on equality and no one has the upper hand.

If I do a reading on him because there is a problem in our relationship and I need help solving it, it is not takign something from him, it is giving him a gift. With my newfound knowledge I have the power to fix what is making us unhappy and that will lead to his ultimate happiness as well. This is not upper hand stuff, this is somethign that makes things better between us, and thus makes him happier in the relationship as well as me.

It's all positive,

Bar

my views

I believe that doing a particular reading on a relationship doesnt prove you have a upper hand.. i would just say the tarot would give you greater and spiritual understanding to your relationship... definately better than confiding to your friends who might just give a wrong advice!

HOWEVER, the flip side to this is... if you do a reading too often..well then yes one could carry that guilt.. i mean if something is troubling you in a particular relation or if you want to know where this relationship is heading , then its fine to do a reading... BUT if you do a reading with other motives in mind or to know "everytime" what the other person might be thinking, then that I would personally say is "wrong" cause then its like attacking a persons privacy, just cause you have the means to do so!
That in my opinion would be the wrong use of tarot!!

I don't think its wrong to get answers to help the relationship--what could be better than that?! Most of the time, you have to do extra work with the knowledge you've obtained from the cards in order to make it work, which shows comittment and care.

As far as astrology goes, its the same situation. When you know where the difficulties lie, you can work with them without the other person knowing. The only 'bad' part that comes out of this is that you need to work to fulfill your personal needs and the needs you know you have work on to keep the relationship going.

thanks for all the answers people, i have to agree with most of it - it does mean caring and wanting to do best - i'm not going to beat myself up about it - there is a line though as rash said - especially if you have had a fight and not talking - its tempting because of not knowing whats happening to keep doing spreads on situation - did a spread one day and got awful cards, the next day (after some heartache and reflection) seems to have turned around and got lovely cards which revealed the other persons true feelings - feelings that were kept hidden from me so i felt aha i know now (still a bit annoyed about the fight so instead of being really happy at the lovely cards i took it as aha now i know and you dont know i know kind of thing) - that made me feel bad thinking like that but i'm only human. For the record i was pleasantly surprised and couldnt believe what the cards were saying - like almost too good to be true

- did i have to do another reading? i did because i was unsure of my own feelings anymore and got awkward cards again (the one that came up i suspected but was not expecting) - i think cos i was meddling with it and not leaving alone/ enough time for things to unfold naturally either way - just confuses you sometimes if you overdo it or do too much in short space of time

Upper hand?

Naw- It's like feeling guilt for being a better worker than your co-workers (and getting faster raises). You should be rewarded for any abilities that you have- especially if you have worked to develop those abilities.

No guilt.

I used to feel guilty about using the tarot because of a lot of past negative programming I had received about it being evil. I had to do a lot of soul searching before I reached a place of peace with myself.

I might suggest you examine your true motives. Are you actually being sneaky, dishonest, and using the tarot to maliciously take advantage of people, or are you being influenced by beliefs, which you have acctepted as true, whether they are true or not?

-fof

thanks thinbuddha - thats true though i think in relationships would be a bit different than in workplace

it just feels like having a headstart and being ahead/having an unfair advantage (and if you have an element of ego competition in the relationship/both wanting to be right/neither giving in that can feel like it) - but then again how do i know what he uses to meditate on and think about situation if he does at all - be it as someone said films, books, friends, his own mind, experience etc etc - alls fair in love and war as they say

suppose trick is to work on your own issues as much as possible - at the end of the day you can't KNOW whats really going on with another person's mind/heart even with the cards and thats how it should be i guess