View Full Version : Top Ten Decks That Didn't Quite Make It
divinerguy
16-07-2002, 14:01
1. Tarot of the Ancient Celtic Cat People Who Become Dragons
2. The Titanic Tarot (struck an iceberg on the way to the printer)
3. The Tarot de Anna Kournikova
4. The Cannibal Cuisine Tarot
5. Dr. Ruth's Sex Tarot
6. The Blonde Girl Tarot (couldn't get the box open)
7. The Marijuana Tarot (people kept eating the cards)
8. The Tarot de Opossum (kept getting run over by cars)
9. The Cheech and Chong Tarot (see Marijuana Tarot)
10. The Redneck Tarot (the Tower is a stack of old appliances on the porch)
Feel free to add your own contribution
midnightmerry
16-07-2002, 14:22
LOL! Great idea!
How about the Tarot of the Psychic Homemaker.... people kept trying to wash the Cups suit.
(Bad, I know)
Midnightmerry
truthsayer
16-07-2002, 14:53
so you did make up the celtic cat ppl deck! you had me going!
the computer tarot--crashed before it got to the printers
bone tarot-dogs kept burying them
tarot of ancient white house wisdom--no wisdom to put on the cards
wavebreaker
16-07-2002, 15:05
The Microsoft Tarot - they keep postponing publishing it because there are still too many bugs in the beta version
(can you tell I work in the computer business?? ;) )
how 'bout "The Stone Tarot" (people kept trying to smoke it!)
divinerguy
16-07-2002, 15:08
Tarot XP Home Edition, you can only do a reading for one person, then you have to buy another copy.
Divinerguy
divinerguy
16-07-2002, 18:04
Truthsayer, its real, I swear. The cats have leprechauns and eat Lucky Charms and everything.
Divinerguy
;-)
Originally posted by Sam
how 'bout "The Stone Tarot" (people kept trying to smoke it!)
~Giggles~ there actually is a Stone Tarot and it is quite lovely. Check out the Aeclectic databse for pictures of it.
Okies I have one that Faunabay and Truthsayer should recognize *LOL* ... the Taroholics Tarot. As Truthsayer so aptly described in a post months ago the Devil card shows me behind a store counter , I have Truthsayer and Faunabay chained to the legs of the counter (they are sitting on the floor) and I waive OOP decks at them ~giggles~ ... Ohhhh well, guess you had to be there *LOL*
The Tarot of Mr. Rogers, includes 78 blank cards, “Would you like to go to the land of Make believe? There is no reading, because we like you just the way you are”.
The Tarot of Barney, Includes one card, and instructions on how to read it (“I love you…”)
The Tarot of Popeye the Sailorman: includes 4 cards (Popeye, Bluto, Olive Oil, and a Can of Spinach), no instructions, you can figure it out for yourself.
The Lutefisk Tarot; Made from real (Fresh!) Lutefisk! (roflmao)
Originally posted by Umbrae
The Lutefisk Tarot; Made from real (Fresh!) Lutefisk! (roflmao)
At the risk of exposing my ignorance here ... what is lutefisk?
Violet Gargoyle
16-07-2002, 20:02
Originally posted by Umbrae
The Tarot of Popeye the Sailorman: includes 4 cards (Popeye, Bluto, Olive Oil, and a Can of Spinach), no instructions, you can figure it out for yourself.
Wow, for a moment there I thought that said he Tarot of Popeye the SailorMOON.
How about:
The Macintosh Tarot- Great Graphics that are easy to read- but unfortunately are not compatable with the box, nor the companion book, nor the table that you read on, nor any other tarot deck.
The Far Side Tarot, by Gary Larson.
The Ice Cream Tarot, not for use by people using the Stone Tarot.
I still could go for the Trading Spaces/Changing Rooms Tarot!
emily2otters
16-07-2002, 20:06
Originally posted by Umbrae
The Lutefisk Tarot; Made from real (Fresh!) Lutefisk! (roflmao)
it's serendipitous that the acronym for "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off" approximates the sound one makes when in the presence of lutefisk.
(my grandpa used to say it was santa claus food. didn't fool us for a minute.)
emily2otters
16-07-2002, 20:11
Originally posted by Jewel
At the risk of exposing my ignorance here ... what is lutefisk?
oh!
it's just a slab of fish soaked in lye.
that's right: lye. what most sane people make soap out of. it has an odor that makes your eyes water and makes your dog want to pee on it.
my norwegian ancestors used to make lutefisk in order to preserve the catch. when they emmigrated to the united states, they kept making it every year at christmas, for nostalgia's sake. when my cousin karen went back to the old country and asked after the lutefisk (as in "hey, where's the lutefisk?"), she was told "we have refrigeration now." :)
Dark Inquisitor
16-07-2002, 20:22
OprahTarot was no good- the backs were an airbrushed close up of her smiley face, & so were all the fronts.
The Martha Stewart Tarot cost a fortune & all the cards were blank. You had to decorate them yourself, with markers, ribbon, glitter, buttons & old fish hooks . The instructions were endless, and then you felt bad because they didn't look as good as hers. The backs were plain lettuce green with a K Mart logo at the bottom. The house was a mess by the time you got done, and you started smoking again.
Tarot of the Clinton Years had real possibilities, but nobody could stand to look back. The Devil wore a blue dress.
The Tarot of the Taliban was banned before it was printed and the author was shot for thinking about it.
Tarotphelia
divinerguy
16-07-2002, 20:24
Lutefisk is a gelatinous goo, favored by Norwegians, consisting of pickled fish.
It was invented by Norwegian parents as a way to threaten their children into being good. "If you don't clean your room, its lutefisk for supper."
Divinerguy
Fine, I'll try again.
"The Greatful Dead Tarot"--gives great readings, but you always have such a bad hang-over the next day that you can never remember what your deck told you!
Sally Gardens
16-07-2002, 20:39
Originally posted by Umbrae
The Lutefisk Tarot; Made from real (Fresh!) Lutefisk! (roflmao)
Hey, synchronicity! (Or something like that.) I saw the first couple posts of this thread while I was still at work, and thought, "Hmmm. Ole and Sven Tarot, in which the Page of Cups is holding a lutefisk."
I suspect you live in a Norwegian-influenced area of the Left Coast. :D
Here are some other tarots that somehow missed the top ten:
Hakuna M'Tarot - Used to be a Lion King themed deck, till the intellectual property lawyers got hold of it. Now it's just an empty box, and it's truly Hakuna ("there is no") Tarot.
Tarot of the Minnow - With Gilligan as the Fool, the Skipper Too as the Emperor, the Millionaire and His Wife as the King and Queen of Coins, the Movie Star as the Empress (or maybe the Devil), the Professor and Mary Ann as the Magician and the High Priestess (there was magic and mystery in those coconut cream pies, I tell ya).
The Lord of the Flies Tarot - Can't possibly be any more of a bollocks than the Lord of the Rings Tarot.
There may be more....
I love "The Grateful Dead" Tarot...but the colors...
"If I had a gun for every ace I've drawn
I could arm a town the size of Abilene
Don't you push me baby cause I'm moaning low
You know I'm only in it for the gold..."
Dark Inquisitor
16-07-2002, 20:43
Oops!
I almost forgot-
Oprah's Tarot came packaged with Dr. Phil's Cards of Change & Self-Loathing. But they made everybody cry or get really mad. (Free tape of him yelling at you personally enclosed.)
Tarotphelia
Sally Gardens
16-07-2002, 20:49
Originally posted by emily2otters
my norwegian ancestors used to make lutefisk in order to preserve the catch. when they emmigrated to the united states, they kept making it every year at christmas, for nostalgia's sake. when my cousin karen went back to the old country and asked after the lutefisk (as in "hey, where's the lutefisk?"), she was told "we have refrigeration now." :)
We have Minnesota winters, but that doesn't keep the Norwegians from making lutefisk and serving it at Christmas. :P Closest I ever got to the stuff was at a holiday potluck dinner. I kept a respectful distance. Lefse (potato flatbread) is much better.
DreamDancer
16-07-2002, 21:42
My husband who reads with The Tarot of Baseball deck suggests:
"The Official Major League Baseball(tm) Tarot. Slick packaging, plenty of corporate sponsors featured in the cards (the Ace of Cups, Sponsored by Budwieser), and wonderfull marketing. However, every four years or so, you (the owner) locks the deck out of your house, or the cards go on strike for more money."
SherryZoned
16-07-2002, 21:51
The baseball tarot made me think of The Bud Bowl Tarot they used to have the bud bowl during the super bowl....
Tarotholic Deck: 78 step progran(instead of 12)
emily2otters
16-07-2002, 22:48
the nihilist tarot: all cards are matte black. you read the cards by setting them on fire.
truthsayer
16-07-2002, 23:51
the chocolate tarot--didn't make it b/c it was eaten!!!!!!
scratch and sniff tarot--no one could figure out what all the cards would smell like plus the smell wears off after a while.
in the spirit of divinerguy's #7 and #9, the fabulous furry freak brothers tarot.
Jeannette
17-07-2002, 03:53
This is too funny! So far, I think that the Lutefisk Tarot, the Lord of the Flies Tarot, and the Tarot of the Ancient Celtic Cat People Who Become Dragons are my favorites, but everyone's suggestions have me smiling and roaring!
In the spirit of divinerguy's "Ancient Celtic Cat..." tarot, might I also suggest the "Angelic Native American Healing Vampires of Avalon Tarot?" (Not surprisingly, it's a collage deck.)
Here's a few other ideas (includes several references to people, places, and things from American culture, with apologies to our friends in Europe, Australia, Canada, and elsewhere):
The Robin Wouldn't Tarot
I Thoth I Thaw a Puthy Cat Tarot, by Aleister Crowley and Chuck Jones
The Xerox Tarot
Mao Tse-Tungian Tarot
The Dental Hygiene Tarot (the minor arcana suits are plaque, gingivitis, tooth decay, and halitosis; the major arcana includes "The Loose Dentures" for the "Tower" card, and "Root Canal" for the "Death" card...)
Servants of Cthulu Tarot (oops! I forgot... it's been done, but they called it the "Lovecraft Tarot")
The Xerox Tarot
The Arbor Day Tarot (hey... the Halloween tarot is a best-seller, why not other holidays?)
JAR-WROT Cards ("Just Another Rider-Waite Rip-Off Tarot")
The Washingtonian Tarot of St. Helens
The Hideous Virgin-Seducing One-Horned Beasts Tarot
Tarot of the Reasonably Competent Apprentice
The Francis Bacon Tarot (although there are some tarot scholars who claim that Bacon is actually featured in two other tarots commonly thought to pay tribute to another 17th century playwright...)
The Xerox Tarot
Tarot of the Flatulent Teddy Bears (it sounded cute at the time, but it turns out that it really stinks!)
The Ancient Minchiate of Schnectady
Tarot for Chia Pets
The Xerox Tarot
The Silicon Implant Tarot
The Arthur Anderson Tarot (although you'd better count the cards immediately after you buy it, to make sure there really are 78 of them)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Tarot (has the words "Don't Panic" written in large, friendly letters on the outside of the box)
Omaggio a Undershorts
The IRS Tarot (on April 15th, you have to send somewhere between 10 and 38.6 percent of the cards to the government, depending on how many other tarots you own)
The Xerox Taro
The Ken Burns Tarot (to be released one card at a time over 78 consecutive nights)
B.O.T.A. Lite Tarot (one-third less gematria than regular B.O.T.A. tarots)
The Xerox Tar
The Tarot-Based-On-A-Japanese-Anime-That-Nobody's-Ever-Heard-Of Tarot
The Spam Tarot (it ends up in your collection, whether you want it or not)
The Franklin Mint Tarot (a lot like the Ken Burns Tarot, except the cards are released only once every other month, and you have to pay for each one as you receive it -- but you can cancel at any time)
The Hubble Telescope Tarot (it lets you see farther into the future than any other tarot, but the results are rather fuzzy)
The Xerox Ta
(It appears that my monitor is running out of toner, so I guess I'd better stop for now... tee hee!...)
-- Jeannette
http://www.tarotgarden.com
How's about the Richard Simmons tarot? The cards repeatedly march out of the box at random to do exercises most of the day.
The Richard Nixon tarot: the cards insist on taping every reading
The Blues Clues tarot: each card contains a vital clue that enables the querent to solve the puzzle at the end of their reading...comes with a cute little notepad too.
Blessings, M. (Good topic by the way)
Sally Gardens
17-07-2002, 08:55
Originally posted by Jeannette and/or Lori
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Tarot (has the words "Don't Panic" written in large, friendly letters on the outside of the box)
And you keep the cards wrapped in a towel.
I was going to say the Penis Tarot, unfortunately it did make it hehe
The Hideous Virgin-Seducing One-Horned Beasts Tarot-I beleive thats the Book of Chaos deck ;)
What didnt make it? The Jeryy Springer Tarot- every reading ended in either a fist fight, someone you didnt want to see get naked getting naked, or both ;)
:THP
Originally posted by emily2otters
it's just a slab of fish soaked in lye.
Thanks Emily! sounds disgusting *LOL* ... perhaps ignorance is bliss afterall! *ROFLMAO*
The Judge Judy Tarot - evry time your read for someone with it they feel brutally abused and disrespected (needless to say it was pulled due to its attitude - it was funny but brutal)
Healthy People 2000 Tarot - the suits were diet, exercise, self-development, and disease-prevention - everyone made the new years resolution to buy it and use, but lacked the will and effort to go through with it as it would take discipline and work (not to mention food & fun depravation).
Tarot of the Rose Colored Glasses - color was monotone and the cards too sugary.
The Moth Balls Tarot... Keep it in the back of your clothes drawers...
The 3D tarot... cute but difficult to shuffle...
Tarot of the cast iron stomach... photographic deck featuring food from the back of my fridge...
Hippy tarot... as an accessory for teenages who are just interested in tarot 'cause they are going through that 'I'm a vegan, wiccan, hippy phase'.
Dogs on Heat tarot. Messy.
Ink Blot Test Tarot... "I think it's the Fool... or maybe it's the devil... is that a giant...?"
midnightmerry
17-07-2002, 12:37
How about the Fisherman Tarot: the suits are Nets (cups), Hooks (swords), Lures (disks), and Cane Poles (wands).
Alas, the deck didn't work out because in a test run, users of this deck only gave dramatic, highly exaggerated readings on them. They were all wet.
Midnightmerry
Sorceress_Jade
17-07-2002, 13:33
I want the Farside Tarot, that would be awesome.
Marvel Tarot (purchased by 8 year olds and scary men in their late thirties, now goes for upwards of 100 on ebay for no apparent reason)
Tarot of the Turtles (OOP because the readings took so long to decipher)
Coffee Tarot (Cards tend to get damaged from repeated and overly rapid shuffling, banned in Berkley because it wasn’t ‘shade grown’)
Pessimists Tarot (no pleasant cards, makes your clients leave in tears every time)
Metallica (Napster) Tarot - deck gets big by being bootlegged and distributed. Once deck is popular, it sues all the printers and collecters alike.
Spring Break Tarot - gives woozy readings due to too much alcohol and will not remember later. Almost all copies were destroyed in an impromptu wet T-shirt contest.
:) Kes
Originally posted by Sorceress_Jade
Marvel Tarot (purchased by 8 year olds and scary men in their late thirties, now goes for upwards of 100 on ebay for no apparent reason)[/B]
Hey! I happen to want the Marvel Tarot!
the hermit
17-07-2002, 17:18
Originally posted by mondk
The Richard Nixon tarot: the cards insist on taping every reading
mondk: Weren't these pulled because of inexplicable gaps in the reading tapes?
How about the Jimmy Hoffa Tarot, came with it's own bag of ready mix cement... but never made it to distribution because it mysteriously disappeared on the way to the printer.
Or the Pee Wee Herman Tarot, pulled by distributors because of over-exposure.
Or the Carl Sagan Tarot, with "Billions and Billions" of interpretations that make it too difficult to read with.
truthsayer
17-07-2002, 19:10
the donald trump tarot--all the cards were images of him. need i say more?
yardsale tarot--all the cards were nothing but junk and got sent to goodwill.
university books tarot--could have been a good deck but they lost all value after one semester of use and anyone who had them was stuck w/ a useless deck.
Violet Gargoyle
17-07-2002, 19:19
The Calvin and Hobbes Deck
The Tarot of Kenneth Branagh
The Crocs the Steve Irwin Has Loved Tarot
The Are You Being Served Tarot
Tarot De Lint (Not Charles, I mean Lint)
The Foxfire Tarot of Haints
Howz about the George W Bush Deck - every card's meaning has to do with terrorism ....
Forgive me. I'm Australian!
Laelyan
Originally posted by Laelyan
Howz about the George W Bush Deck - every card's meaning has to do with terrorism ....
Forgive me. I'm Australian!
how 'bout: every card has no meaning! for the bush tarot!
and p.s. i'm glad you aussies know that bush is such a dumbass! it makes me so proud to know all of these smart people!
SherryZoned
17-07-2002, 22:12
I am not going into politics here..but I do happen to like Bush..
Starfish
17-07-2002, 22:35
Originally posted by RedWood
I am not going into politics here..but I do happen to like Bush..
Ditto - to each his own politician....
:T7W Starfish
the hermit
17-07-2002, 23:46
Originally posted by Starfish
Ditto - to each his own politician....
:T7W Starfish
How about a Teddy Roosevelt Tarot...
The Hermit would walk softly and carry a big stick…
Or a Franklin Roosevelt Tarot…
You’d always get a new deal…
And another Richard Nixon Tarot…
It would give you peace with honor…
Or an Abe Lincoln Tarot…
You’d always get an honest deal…
The George Washington Tarot…
It would never tell you a lie…
Or some sports Tarot…
The Bob Ucker Tarot…
It’s interpretations would always be juuuuust a little outside.
Or the Willie McCoy Tarot…
It would Stretch your insight…
Or the Willie Mays Tarot…
It would make you want to Say Hey!
How about some Hollywood Tarot…
The Ben-Hur Tarot…
Watch out for the Chariot card!
Or the Night of the Living Dead tarot…
You wouldn’t have to dig up any meanings…
This could really get out of hand if we’re not careful :D
Starfish
17-07-2002, 23:47
Yes! I love your humor, Hermit! I look forward to reading your posts.
And your deck ideas are wonderful ;)
:T7W Starfish
the hermit
17-07-2002, 23:58
Originally posted by Starfish
Yes! I love your humor, Hermit
Don't encourage my twisted humor... it's the result of my mis-spent youth.
Cigeeeeerettes and whisky and wild, wild women...
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane...
You must remember that I grew up in the land of good lookin' horses and fast women! That wonderful Blue Grass State... Kinnnntucky!
How about a Whisky Tarot...
'cept it'd never get past the revenue agents!
y'all come back now ya heer!
Originally posted by the hermit
Or an Abe Lincoln Tarot…
You’d always get an honest deal…
I hate to argue here, however such a deck would only have 77 cards.
Since slavery is abolished, you would be missing Major Arcana IV.
Starfish
18-07-2002, 00:01
Originally posted by Umbrae
I hate to argue here, however such a deck would only have 77 cards.
Since slavery is abolished, you would be missing Major Arcana IV.
bwhahahahahahaha... very good point. (you mean the Devil (with the enslaved, shackled people))
Would the Hierophant wear a big, tall black hat and a beard, no mustache?
:T7W Starfish
the hermit
18-07-2002, 00:04
Originally posted by Umbrae
I hate to argue here, however such a deck would only have 77 cards.
Since slavery is abolished, you would be missing Major Arcana IV.
Ok, color me dense...
why would the Emperor be missing?
Originally posted by the hermit
Ok, color me dense...
why would the Emperor be missing?
Because I typo'd!
Try this: XV would be missing!
the hermit
18-07-2002, 00:44
Originally posted by Umbrae
Because I typo'd!
Try this: XV would be missing!
ok, that works...
divinerguy
18-07-2002, 07:56
Tarot of the Doctors - No one could read the handwriting.
The Secretary's Tarot - Changed to "The Administrative Assistant's Tarot"
Il Minchiate Tarocchi del Ordo Templi Erotica Alchemical di Thelemic Celtic Magick - Ran out space on the box
The Gothic Tarot of Winona Ryder - Ran out of black ink and kept getting stolen by people who never wake up before supper
The O.J. Simpson Tarot - Too busy trying to catch the real killers (please see Johnnine Cochran Tarot)
The Johnnie Cochran Tarot - If the cards don't fit in the box, you cant use them
The Keanu Reeves Tarot - Has anyone seen my bong? Dude, what are these card things?
The Southern Baptist Tarot - contains 78 different versions of the Judgment card
The John Holmes Tarot - Longer than other decks
The Enron Tarot - Entire deck shredded, not available for 8 to 10 years, with time off for good behavior
The Miss Cleo Jamaican Tarot - Born in Los Angeles, and not really named Cleo, but still just $3.95 a minute
Kellinator
18-07-2002, 10:06
I am loving this thread... so much brilliance! I think I have a Southern Baptist Tarot somewhere! ;)
Here are my contributions:
Amelia Earhart Tarot -- mysteriously disappeared during completion of the World card
Domino's Tarot -- if your reading takes longer than half an hour, it's free
Godfather Tarot -- it gives you a reading you can't refuse
Cell Phone Tarot -- readings are kinda fuzzy
Where's Waldo Tarot -- 'nuff said
Aeclectic Tarot -- takes up all your free time!
Originally posted by Kellinator
Aeclectic Tarot -- takes up all your free time! LOL! I have defiantely got that one!!! :P
LiveJournal Tarot - gives really long, self involved bitchy readings and all the minor arcana cards feature an online quiz.
Rhiannon
18-07-2002, 12:37
The Tarot of Narcissus: Every card is a reflection of your soul (literally! every card is a mirror!)
Designed especially for Pollux. ;) :*
R :)
midnightmerry
18-07-2002, 12:46
LOL! Ok, page 6 of this thread has been officially declared genius. This whole thread is great. I have my computer in my study at home & I keep laughing out loud. My husband in the next room (who does not read or collect) thinks I've lost my mind.
Midnightmerry
Im page view 666, all hail me!
And Ill add
the 1111 Tarot-Once you saw it once, youd start seeing it EVERYWHERE
heheh
:THP
Originally posted by Rhiannon
The Tarot of Narcissus: Every card is a reflection of your soul (literally! every card is a mirror!)
Designed especially for Pollux. ;) :*
Designed BY Pollux - I can't think of anything smart enough for this thread, mostly because I should think of it in ENGLISH... But Rhiannon's post gave me the opportunity to sneak in and pride on my talents all the same... :D:D:D
ROFLOL
Keep this going!!! It's HYSTERICAL!!!
divinerguy
18-07-2002, 16:07
The Jeffrey Dahmer Tarot - Costs an arm and a leg
The Tupperware Tarot - all the cups have snap on lids
The Royal Family Tarot - all the court cards are either divorced or in rehab
Originally posted by divinerguy
The Southern Baptist Tarot - contains 78 different versions of the Judgment card
*ROFLMAO* Living close to the "Bible belt" this one totally cracks me up ~wipes tears from eyes~ thanks for the laugh!
Readerhawk
18-07-2002, 16:53
>"The Official Major League Baseball(tm) Tarot. Slick packaging, plenty of
>corporate sponsors featured in the cards (the Ace of Cups, Sponsored by
>Budwieser), and wonderfull marketing. However, every four years or so, you >(theowner) locks the deck out of your house, or the cards go on strike for
>more money."
Actually, shouldn't the King of Cups be sponsored by "The King of Beers"?
Also, if you want to reading from a deck that is not in your home city, you have to pay an extra $14.95 to view your favorite reading on the internet.
We won't even go into what the charges for parking, instruction booklets, or merchandise. ;-)
Readerhawk
tigerlily
18-07-2002, 23:18
Originally posted by emily2otters
it's just a slab of fish soaked in lye.
that's right: lye. what most sane people make soap out of. it has an odor that makes your eyes water and makes your dog want to pee on it.
Your vivid description inspired the weirdest dream tonight! In my dream, it was called Chinese Fish Sauce, looked like green bars of soap, was mistaken as such by the people in my dream who tried to clean their boat with it, with the result that everything reeked of dead fish...
But the weirdest part of this dream was when I read the description of how this stuff was made - apparently the main ingredient is New Zealand zucchini (don't ask! I have no idea why!) and the guy who wrote that description was cracking bad jokes that only he thought funny. It read like this (the only part I remember): "The Chinese Fish Sauce is regarded as a biological weapon - but don't tell the Chinese. HaHaaaHa! If you throw the leftowers of the Sauce into the sea, it will go hunting for fish all by itself. HaHaaaHa!" etc.... (yes, it came complete with the Hahaaaha's...)
What is this forum doing with my mind?! LOL
Animal Dropping Tarot: You don't even want to SEE the tower...
I left out the Dr. Seuss tarot.
You can do readings here,
You can do readings there,
You can do readings EVERYWHERE!!
You can do them in a box,
You can do them with a fox,
You can do them in a train,
In a boat, or on a plane.
You can even do them in a tree,
They are so good, so good, you see!!!
(Besides all that, they come with a full plate of green eggs and ham and the cards won't budge from the box until you've tasted them (the ham and eggs I mean LOL) )
Blessings, M.
Ravenswing
19-07-2002, 04:32
Originally posted by Jeannette and/or Lori
[ The Spam Tarot (it ends up in your collection, whether you want it or not)
-- Jeannette
http://www.tarotgarden.com [/B]
not to be confused with the 'spam, spam, spam, wonderful spam' deck.
Ravenswing
19-07-2002, 04:41
Originally posted by Jewel
Okies I have one that Faunabay and Truthsayer should recognize *LOL* ... the Taroholics Tarot. As Truthsayer so aptly described in a post months ago the Devil card shows me behind a store counter , I have Truthsayer and Faunabay chained to the legs of the counter (they are sitting on the floor) and I waive OOP decks at them ~giggles~ ... Ohhhh well, guess you had to be there *LOL*
and lilianna is the high priestess (naturally), holding a scroll that says 'OOP'. She sits in front of a veil concealing all those decks you wish you had... (or maybe preventing you from them }) )
ravenswing
lol tevepolz, thats the funniest thing Ive ever heard.
Id make that card for the next aeclectic project, but I guess it doesnt fit the Spirituality theme hehe
:THP
divinerguy
19-07-2002, 09:26
The Telemarketers Tarot - you can only do readings while you're in the shower or eating dinner.
The Russian Tarot of Stalingrad - you stand in line for hours, and you might get the deck, or you might get a two rolls of toilet paper, but you better not complain about it.
The Arthur Andersen Tarot - 22 majors in the box. It actually has 78 cards, but another 40 are hidden in a box in an offshore bank in the Bahamas, and the last 16 cards went to executives with stock options. The executives say they didn't know about the hidden cards, and have pleaded the 5th amendment.
Geenius at Wrok
19-07-2002, 09:26
The Muppets Take Marseilles Tarot
Depression Glass Tarot
Ham Radio Tarot (instead of Roman numerals, the cards have call signs—M4GCN, H1PRI, E3PRS . . . )
Cosmic Unity Tarot (contains one card, labeled "Everything")
"Beverly Hills 90210" Tarot
C-SPAN Tarot
Physician's Desk Reference Tarot
Tarot of Bugs Shaken out of Old Blankets
divinerguy
19-07-2002, 10:38
The Qabalah Tarot - 78 cards that nobody really understands, but won't admit it.
The Osama bin Tarot - last seen in a cave in Afghanistan, not sure if it still exists.
The K-Mart Tarot - Only $1.97, but the Sun has been replaced by a big blue light.
The AOL Tarot - takes forever to get them out of the box, has parental control features.
The Cellular Tarot - A great idea, but people doing readings while driving caused too many accidents.
The Wal-Mart Tarot- Higher Quality than the K Mart Tarot and oly 1.50 ;)
:THP
The Teenie Bopper Tarot- used for two months, then shoved to the back of the shelf with the rest of the passe' stuff!
Originally posted by divinerguy
Tarot of the Doctors - No one could read the handwriting.
this is so true! my mom's handwriting is like trying to decode 1,000,000 year old hyrogliphics!(sp?)
wavebreaker
19-07-2002, 12:24
Originally posted by divinerguy
The Cellular Tarot - A great idea, but people doing readings while driving caused too many accidents.
Which is why I'm still waiting for the Handsfree Tarot...
tabbycat
19-07-2002, 14:31
The Teletubbies Tarot - the suits would be Dipsys, Tinky-Winkys, Laa-laas and Pos, the Sun would have the laughing baby-face and Noo-noo, the vacuum-cleaner that sucks up the tubbytoast would have to be the Death card.
The Prozac Tarot - only has 74 cards, 'cos the 9 and 10 of Swords, Death and the Tower are just too scary, and all of the Court Cards are smiling.
The World of Cheese Tarot - the Moon would be Dairylea triangles, the Devil would be gorgonzola and Death would be 'a cold lasagne, permanently in deep-freeze'!
Jilly
emily2otters
19-07-2002, 15:52
Originally posted by tabbycat
The Prozac Tarot - only has 74 cards, 'cos the 9 and 10 of Swords, Death and the Tower are just too scary, and all of the Court Cards are smiling.
Jilly
oh! yay jilly! i was just about to post "madam zoloft's happy oracle", which is distinguished by the bright yellow wash over all the cards.
(don't get me wrong; i owe my life to zoloft. but their promotional materials are hysterical.)
Originally posted by tabbycat
The Prozac Tarot - only has 74 cards, 'cos the 9 and 10 of Swords, Death and the Tower are just too scary, and all of the Court Cards are smiling.
i think prozac is the funniest thing in the world! my friends and i have sooooooooo many jokes about it! I even have a funny pin that says "i took my prozac today. (and it has a smiley face)".
divinerguy
19-07-2002, 21:42
The Monica Lewinsky Tarot - All the Princesses have that silly beret, and it costs a wad of bills. ;-)
Starfish
19-07-2002, 22:09
Originally posted by divinerguy
The Monica Lewinsky Tarot - All the Princesses have that silly beret, and it costs a wad of bills. ;-)
And the Aces are all cigars... ;)... And the Magician is Bill Clinton standing in front of a desk (you can see female shoes sticking out from under the desk...) And the Devil is Hillary...
Oh, this would be a fun deck...
:T4W Starfish
Sally Gardens
19-07-2002, 23:21
Originally posted by stevepolsz
not to be confused with the 'spam, spam, spam, wonderful spam' deck.
And not to be confused with...
The Monty Python and the Holy Grail Deck - Featuring the "I'm not dead yet" card as number XIII and The Old Man From Scene 24 as the Hermit. Suits (air, fire, water, earth) are swallows, enchanted fireballs, herrings, and shrubberies. Excessive use of the deck may lead it to give an insulting reading and then cry out, "Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"
Ravenswing
20-07-2002, 02:26
...and watch out for the holy handgranade!!!
on the lookout for bunnies
ravenswing
Ravenswing
20-07-2002, 02:30
... and don't forget the deja vu tarot-- "Haven't I seen that reading somewhere before??"
nevermore
ravenswing
Ravenswing
20-07-2002, 02:33
...and don't forget the deja vu tarot--"Haven't I read this posting somewhere before??"
evermore
ravenswing
Starfish
20-07-2002, 10:24
Yea, Ravenswing (Steve)! You got your initiation name as your screen name now!! 3 Cheers for Solandia!
:TAW Starfish
blue_fusion
20-07-2002, 13:29
how about the Tarot of the Compulsive Liar. :)
divinerguy
20-07-2002, 13:51
Originally posted by blue_fusion20
how about the Tarot of the Compulsive Liar. :)
Also known as the Tarot of the Ex-husband,
Also known as the Tarot of the Car Salesman,
Also known as the Tarot of the Politicians
Geenius at Wrok
20-07-2002, 19:34
Hey, fella, remember that some ex-husbands post here too.
Originally posted by divinerguy
Also known as the Tarot of the Ex-husband,
how 'bout we making this "also known as the tarot of the naughty spouse", becuase women can be ex-husbands, only they are called "ex-wives" lol!
divinerguy
20-07-2002, 20:08
I humbly stand corrected.
The revised name is ... The Ex Files Tarot
how about- "The Card House Tarot" You get the meanings of the readings right up until you realize that it's all falling apart! lol
blue_fusion
21-07-2002, 04:29
how about the Invisible Tarot - you wouldn't know if the cards were already facing you
and the Predictive Tarot - you'd know the meaning of the cards before you even deal them.
:)
divinerguy
21-07-2002, 11:36
The Americana Tarot - card images include dogs playing poker, a sad clown and a velvet Elvis.
Sally Gardens
21-07-2002, 12:45
Originally posted by divinerguy
The Americana Tarot - card images include dogs playing poker, a sad clown and a velvet Elvis.
Ack. :P
And don't forget the saucer-eyed children.
truthsayer
21-07-2002, 21:53
Originally posted by divinerguy
I humbly stand corrected.
The revised name is ... The Ex Files Tarot
yeah! the truth is out there but you never know which side to believe!
WolfSpirit
22-07-2002, 15:36
Tarot of the Old Path of the Ancient Celtic Cat People Who Became Dragons - they had to put it in a bigger box, the name would not fit on a normal box
Tarot of Garbage - it got thrown away (with the lutefisk)
Sheepshifter Tarot - I wanted to give it to my Scottish friends but they all wanted the Tarot of Whisky instead
mermaiden
24-07-2002, 09:09
The Eminem Tarot - The censors had a say in it and when it came time to publish it, it was just 78 pieces of card stock that were either blank or had huge *'s on them.
Not to mention the little white book confused and angered people in way they couldn't really explain.
Geenius at Wrok
24-07-2002, 09:28
The Tarot of Compound Fractures.
divinerguy
25-07-2002, 08:20
The California Police Tarot - The Devil Card was replaced by a citizen with a video camera.
The WWW Tarot - Every time you turn over a card, a new advertisement pops up.
The US Government Tarot - cost nine million dollars, takes a wheelbarrow to lift and won't be finished until 2009.
The Technical Support Tarot - The LWB is 900 pages long, is written in ancient sanskrit, and it isn't our fault anyway - its a hardware problem. Your credit card has been billed $24.95 for reading this post.
Originally posted by divinerguy
The California Police Tarot - The Devil Card was replaced by a citizen with a video camera.
oooooooh!!! if you weren't from Ca yourself i would beat you sooooooooo hard. (even though this is mostly true.)
hmmmmmmmmm.......................The TV (or telly for all you europeans and aussies) tarot. once you take it out of the box it never goes back in...
mermaiden
25-07-2002, 12:20
Pokemon Tarot (w/animated action) - the bright artwork and animated action feature was causing way too many seizures in readers
wavebreaker
25-07-2002, 12:26
Originally posted by mermaiden
Pokemon Tarot (w/animated action) - the bright artwork and animated action feature was causing way too many seizures in readers... and you had to trade cards all the time ...
mermaiden
25-07-2002, 12:33
Originally posted by tarotlady
... and you had to trade cards all the time ...
*LOL* Yeah, and before you know it, you end up with 78 Fools just because you think they're 'worth more'.
*huddles in ball* the pokemon are EVIL! get them away! eeew! get them away! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
mermaiden
25-07-2002, 13:58
Originally posted by Sam
*huddles in ball* the pokemon are EVIL! get them away! eeew! get them away! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
*LOL* Come on, they aren't that bad. I'll admit to liking it to an extent (I remain open to new things all the time so I often get caught up in fads *grin*). Oh, I do have another though...
Tarot of the Squirrels - the roadkill/death card (I think I've said enough)
Originally posted by mermaiden
*LOL* Come on, they aren't that bad.
oh yes they are! *trembles*
Sorceress_Jade
25-07-2002, 20:10
I concure with Sam, they ARE that bad. They cause epileptic seazures... like strobe lights and other cheap cartoons.
truthsayer
25-07-2002, 21:08
Originally posted by mermaiden
Tarot of the Squirrels - the roadkill/death card (I think I've said enough)
in the spirit of the above let me introduce: (drum roll)
the roadkill cafe tarot
the fool is a chicken preparing to cross the road
the death is an 18 wheel creaming some unidentified species
the devil is a critter trying to cross what seems to be a clear road but there's a car coming 'round the corner
the tower is a car swerving to avoid a deer
judgement is a poor unsuspecting critter trying to cross the road in front of a vehicle
the world is the roadkill cafe
and a variety of other delicacies fresh from the asphalt like toad on the road.
sorry, just couldn't stop once i got started being utterly tacky. i'm a real animal lover, too. you get the idea--i'll stop while i'm still ahead...
******my mother actually has a poster of the "roadkill cafe" in her kitchen of all places."
Originally posted by divinerguy
Tarot XP Home Edition, you can only do a reading for one person, then you have to buy another copy.
Divinerguy Now *that's* funny!!!!!
Violet Gargoyle
25-07-2002, 22:10
Originally posted by amyel
Now *that's* funny!!!!!
Death is a Blue Window Screen.
purplelady
27-07-2002, 09:32
Here's my nomination for top 10 tarot decks that didn't quite make it:
Tarot of Scrying- Pentacles have beautiful crystal balls of different colors, some with inclusions. Cups have bowls of water, cups of water, ponds, and chalices of wine. Wands have crystal- ball tipped wands. Swords have shards of broken mirrors.
Tarot of the Pendulum- Each card comes with a little hole and a string through it so you can dangle it in front of your face and watch it rotate and/or swing back and forth - adds extra meaning to the cards interpretation.
Tarot of the Runes- You throw the cards and they form the shapes of a rudimentary archaic alphabet.
Tarot of the Dragon Guardian Spirits- Can only be purchased in the astral realm along with a companion crystal.
Tarot of Echos- You shout the cards name and it always shouts back at you.
Tarot of Algebra College Entrance Exam SAT- If the High Priestess equals the Sun, And the Emperor equals the Magician, then Temperance equals ?? ( you are timed and have 5.3 seconds to answer this question correctly)
Tarot of Calculus 2- Temperance over the Hermit to the 23 rd power times the Queen of Cups over the Knight of Wands to the 42 nd power divided by 92 over the Ace of Wands equals ?
Tarot of the Theory of Evolution- The Fool is a boy with a dog about to step over a cliff. The Magician is a neanderathal holding some bones in the air. The High Priestess is an Ape. The Empress is a pregnant squirrel, The Emperor is a Rat. The Devil is a fish that grew little feet. The Star is an asteroid falling to the earth containing genetic matter from a far off Super Nova Explosion.
The World is a one celled animal.
Psychologist Tarot- Every single card intones " And How Do You FEEL About That?"
Tarot of Bumomancy- (see chat section for complete explaination).
SherryZoned
27-07-2002, 09:36
LOL PurpleLady...I love the Tarot of Bumomancy..LOL all of those butt's!! LOLOL...hairy ones, small ones, large one, some bending over..some standing..a few on a toilet...a roll of toilet paper can be pentacles...toilet bowls-cups..plunger--wands--stick scrubby for the butt or toilet(however you intuition says) as swords..
divinerguy
27-07-2002, 11:24
The Espresso Tarot - Suits are Mocha, Capuccino, Latte and Espresso. The court cards are twenty-something kids, with pasty white skin, all black clothing, multiple body piercings, tattoos, who have not slept for three days. The Devil card is decaf.
Sorceress_Jade
27-07-2002, 17:30
I want it, I WANT THE ESPRESSO TAROT! Who wants to help me create it? I'll pose even, tho i would be a lesser of the pasty tatooed pierced coffee-addicts, i still belong to their numbers.
I bet I could really read with that deck too, i love it!
DarkElectric
27-07-2002, 21:16
Hey, Divinerguy, can I pose for that deck too? Better Latte than never!
Diviner, death could be "comming-down"
divinerguy
30-07-2002, 21:52
The Plumber's Tarot - The Moon card - need I say more?
Tarot de Wisconsin - Suits are Cheese, Beer, Sausage and Snow.
The Fashion Model's Tarot - The High Preistess is the one with a wristwatch around her waist.
The Bjork Tarot - Too many swans.
the bimbo tarot....what were we talking about again?
Faerie Lin
31-07-2002, 16:21
Originally posted by divinerguy
The Plumber's Tarot - The Moon card - need I say more?
Tarot de Wisconsin - Suits are Cheese, Beer, Sausage and Snow.
The Fashion Model's Tarot - The High Preistess is the one with a wristwatch around her waist.
The Bjork Tarot - Too many swans.
LOL too funny!!! Especially the one about Bjork! You are hilarious divinerguy!!
Lin
the fad tarot..........ugh! please! the fad oracle is some much more now!
Sorceress_Jade
01-08-2002, 12:40
Politically Correct Tarot - The Fool is the Mislead Person, and this ten of coins reversed... is not poverty, my friend, it means that you will be monetarily challenged
GeneralElectric
01-08-2002, 20:30
"Why bother Tarot" featuring an empty box.
Royal Cat
02-08-2002, 10:51
This thread is hilarious! :D You guys are so funny!
Here is my own meager contribution...
The Mutt Tarot - a collage deck. 57 different cards blended together for one great deck. Didn't succeed because too many people insisted on "purebred" decks. Adopt one today at your local animal shelter!
Cat
Faerie Lin
02-08-2002, 11:35
hehehe Royal Cat! I like that one!!!
You guys are so creative!
Lin
GeneralElectric
03-08-2002, 12:15
"the tarot at night" featuring 78 black cards.
divinerguy
03-08-2002, 12:50
The Artic Blizzard Tarot - 78 all white cards
The Fast Food Tarot - The "Dan" guy from Del Taco as the Fool, with the Taco Bell chihuahua as his dog. Ronald McDonald as the Devil.
SherryZoned
03-08-2002, 13:00
Seasonal tarot--
The Arctic Blizzard Tarot (from diviner guy) can only be bought in the winter months..
The Ice Cream Tarot (violet gargoyle) can be bought only during the summer months..
The chocolate tarot (truthsayer) be bought only during February..
Arbor day tarot (jeanette and or/lori) need I say more..
LOL you get the picture..
Originally posted by divinerguy
The Artic Blizzard Tarot - 78 all white cards
The Fast Food Tarot - The "Dan" guy from Del Taco as the Fool, with the Taco Bell chihuahua as his dog. Ronald McDonald as the Devil.
The Fry Guys need to be in there somewhere! Those dudes... er, moppish looking things were cool. And you can't forget good old Colonel Sanders! Maybe he'd be the King of Wands (chicken legs).
*giggles*
This is way too fun.
:TQW Kes
napaisti
04-08-2002, 00:02
Originally posted by RedWood
Seasonal tarot--
The chocolate tarot (truthsayer) be bought only during February..
Only during February??? Chocolate only in February??? Then somebody better perfect cryogenesis because I'll need to be frozen or in some kind of suspended animation for 11 months out of the year!
napaisti
ummmm . . . chocolate . . .
blue_fusion
04-08-2002, 01:24
4 seasons tarot. the suits are winter, spring, summer, and fall. you can only use each suit in their corresponding season. a special version of this deck with only 2 suits will be available in tropical countries:the suits, summer, and rainy... :)
OK... I succomb...
The Fool's ...err... Idiot's Tarot (each side of the box has: 'open on other side')
Originally posted by divinerguy
The Artic Blizzard Tarot - 78 all white cards
The Fast Food Tarot - The "Dan" guy from Del Taco as the Fool, with the Taco Bell chihuahua as his dog. Ronald McDonald as the Devil.
and a fast food cheese burger as the death card!
divinerguy
05-08-2002, 11:20
Originally posted by Sam
and a fast food cheese burger as the death card!
Sam, you can't have a fast food death card without bacon on the cheeseburger.
SherryZoned
05-08-2002, 21:29
With Extra Mayo!! on the cheeseburger with bacon..
DarkElectric
05-08-2002, 21:38
The Puritan Tarot. Every card represents a different sin, and an appropriate punishment, along with the correct scriptural admonition. If you ever get caught using it, you'll be hung.
divinerguy
06-08-2002, 09:33
Originally posted by DarkElectric
The Puritan Tarot. Every card represents a different sin, and an appropriate punishment, along with the correct scriptural admonition. If you ever get caught using it, you'll be hung.
Sounds like every card is linked to the hanged man.
Since this thread is called a "top ten" we should vote the decks into their places!
divinerguy
07-08-2002, 21:37
Good idea Sam, do you know who can do that?
uhhhh............the people who can make polls?
Well, we could post a poll, but there are probably hundreds of titles here, and I'm not sure you could have a poll with that many choices. Anyone have any ideas on narrowing it down?
-- Lee
No ideas on narrowing it down. I found too many favorites already. These are great!
I'm new here, and I just read all these pages and of course I have to add my bit . . . . .
Tarot of the Vegetables--A bit bland--well, a lot bland actually-- but it keeps you regular
The Credit Card Tarot-- Mesmerizing holographic pictures, but keeps maxing out on you and charging interest for readings.
Tarot of the Weather Channel—readings every hour on the 8’s!
The Bureaucratic Tarot—still in committee, but will be the first tarot to have a mission statement.
PS Will some kindly person tell me what LOL means. Thank you
WolfSpirit
29-08-2002, 16:56
Welcome to the forum, Webfoot ! (like your name)
LOL = lots of laughs, to indicate something is not be taken seriously, just like ;)
Originally posted by Violet Gargoyle
The Macintosh Tarot- Great Graphics that are easy to read- but unfortunately are not compatable with the box, nor the companion book, nor the table that you read on, nor any other tarot deck.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i have one of those hahahahahahahahahahahaha
heehee
jade
Originally posted by truthsayer
******my mother actually has a poster of the "roadkill cafe" in her kitchen of all places."
so does mine!
heehee
jade
the S & M Tarot - you may want it but you can't buy it!
the obsessive compulsive tarot heehee speaks for itself! yes, you just GOTTA have it, and numerous copies too!
these are all so great you guys. i'm so glad i found this thread!
i used to own a coffee shop and i had "open latte" on the sign for my hours of operation.
i would LOVE the espresso tarot :D
heehee
jade
The Energizer Tarot: The fool's journey keeps going, and going, and going.....
Originally posted by WolfSpirit
Welcome to the forum, Webfoot ! (like your name)
LOL = lots of laughs, to indicate something is not be taken seriously, just like ;)
LOL is also known as "laughing out loud"
Originally posted by Lee
Well, we could post a poll, but there are probably hundreds of titles here, and I'm not sure you could have a poll with that many choices. Anyone have any ideas on narrowing it down?
-- Lee
This would be a pain but how about multiple poles, then we take the top 10 resulting from them ... complicated but it is the only solution I can think of ...
Well, how about this: each person who has posted titles to this thread, choose for yourself *one* of your titles to be a candidate. So, each person picks their favorite one out of those they've written. Then I'll take those and make a poll. Whaddaya think?
-- Lee
Mine Is the...
The TV (Telley) Tarot!!!
Originally posted by Umbrae
The Tarot of Mr. Rogers, includes 78 blank cards, “Would you like to go to the land of Make believe? There is no reading, because we like you just the way you are”.
Originally posted by Jewel
Healthy People 2000 Tarot - the suits were diet, exercise, self-development, and disease-prevention - everyone made the new years resolution to buy it and use, but lacked the will and effort to go through with it as it would take discipline and work (not to mention food & fun depravation).
I think I will stick with this one ... more universal than the Judge Judy Tarot *LOL*. Thanks Lee!
Sally Gardens
03-09-2002, 20:38
Originally posted by Lee
Well, how about this: each person who has posted titles to this thread, choose for yourself *one* of your titles to be a candidate. So, each person picks their favorite one out of those they've written. Then I'll take those and make a poll. Whaddaya think?
-- Lee
Oh, this is hard, and I only posted a few. ;) I really like my Gilligan's Island themed deck, but I can't resist the terrible pun in my Lion King deck, so let's go with...
Hakuna M'Tarot - Used to be a Lion King themed deck, till the intellectual property lawyers got hold of it. Now it's just an empty box, and it's truly Hakuna ("there is no") Tarot.
The Spouses Detective deck
saves money when you want to know whats going wrong with your marriage. The suits are excuses, hobbies, career, and boredom. The majors walk through the steps of a relationship and point out when the rest of the spread went wrong.
The Perfect Soulmate deck
The suits are age, body type, career, and ethnicity. Saves you a lot of time in the want adds. The majors give you tha all important subject to discuss so you can tell if it is going to work out.
Them People deck
It's a majors only deck representing familial relationships. For use by people in those regions of the world that can't handle the complexity of the Perfect Soulmate deck. ...there did I say that PC enough. :)
truthsayer
04-09-2002, 09:23
Originally posted by divinerguy
1. Tarot of the Ancient Celtic Cat People Who Become Dragons
nothing i came up w/ was better than this one. diviner guy this one is genius imho!
divinerguy
04-09-2002, 23:00
Aw, shucks. (With toe in the sand).
We have to vote on ONLY 10 of our favorites! It can't be done! There's too many!
Okay, here's my contributions:
The NFL (National Football League) Tarot: Has been indefinitely delayed because the Knight of Swords has been arrested on drug charges and the King of Wands is awaiting arraignment on a murder charge.
The Sam's Club Tarot: The price is great, but you can only buy them in shrink-wrapped cases of 48 decks.
The David Blaine Tarot: When using this deck, the cards will suddenly rise up off the table by themselves, you will sometimes find your querent's question mysteriously tattooed into your stomach, and if you are ever missing a card try looking in the ice cube tray in your freezer. Your card may be frozen inside one of them.
The Pharmaceutical Company Tarot: New and improved formula! Using the deck daily will crush arthritis pain, boost your metabolism, and increase your sperm count!*
* Side effects include: headache, dizziness, nausea, hair loss, joint pain, a burning sensation during urination, ringing in the ears, blurred vision, loss of consciousness, coma, and death. Keep deck out of reach of children.
The Rap Music Tarot: Has been indefinitely delayed because the Knight of Swords has been arrested on drug charges and the King of Wands is awaiting arraignment on a murder charge.
Peace,
Melvis
:TSTRE
Sally Gardens
05-09-2002, 23:28
Originally posted by Melvis.
* Side effects include: headache, dizziness, nausea, hair loss, joint pain, a burning sensation during urination, ringing in the ears, blurred vision, loss of consciousness, coma, and death. Keep deck out of reach of children.
Heh. :D Too true.
The Celtic Moon Goddess Tarot of the Atlantean Gypsies.
The Fuzzy Wuzzy Bunny Tarot
The How to Be a Shaman in the City Without Quitting your Day Job, Even If You're White, Tarot
The Twee Tarot
The Lorena Bobbitt Tarot
The Secrets of the Fortune Cookie Oracle Cards
Ancient Tarots of Garlic Bologna
Minchiate of Minneapolis
The Niccolo Macchiavelli Tarot
Tarots of the Transogram Ka-Bala
bighairymonster
18-02-2003, 10:26
Here's a good one:
The Glue Tarot (the cards kept sticking together)
Khatruman
18-02-2003, 10:44
Originally posted by Umbrae
The Tarot of Popeye the Sailorman: includes 4 cards (Popeye, Bluto, Olive Oil, and a Can of Spinach), no instructions, you can figure it out for yourself. Now WAIT a second, Umbrae, I HAVE this deck and you forgot to mention the Swee' Pea and Whimpy cards, but of course the Whimpy card you have to agree to pay for Toooooosday!
Oh, and Mattel is putting out a deck to appeal to teenage boys, it's the Poke'-Goh-Gin-Gae-Mutant-Transformer-Celtic-Dragonball Z-Anime'-Power Ranger-Magic, the Gathering-White Wolf Tarot. But you have to buy them in packs of 5, and God knows how many are in the deck, but of course there are a few limited run cards, for the collectors!
Go go power Poke' cards!!!
Peace.
Ya know, da "Minchiate of Minneapolis Tarot" is subtitled "Da Uffda Tarot". Dere's a cart titled, "Justice", an' it shows yer neighbor's driveway just after he's shoveled 'er off an' da snowplow come by down da street an' buries it up agin, and dat's 'Justice' 'cause dat guy's al'ays been kinduva pain-in-da-a**, ya know? Yah, it's my fav-rit cart 'cause it reminds of dat Sorenson fella dat lives next ta me, ya know?
Oh yah, you betcha. It's a heckuva deck, now, ain't it?
Peace, ya know. ;)
Melvis
:TSTRE
{For proper Minnesota accent, all words that end in -ow, such as KNOW and SHOW should be lengthened until saying the word takes approximately 3 full seconds. Also, there is a phonetic difference between YA (short, as in, "yuh") and YAH (long, as in "yahhhhh").} :D
Of course, this is just an exercise in dialect for anyone who hasn't actually lived in Minneapolis/St. Paul. But for those of us who have, this is HILARIOUS!
Makes me think of ice fishing, curling and lutefisk!
sunflowr
24-02-2003, 21:40
"Tarot of the Hanged Man"
(cards kept falling out of his pocket). ;p~~
sunflowr
24-02-2003, 21:42
Originally posted by ihcoyc
The Secrets of the Fortune Cookie Oracle Cards
OH! I *want* that deck!! ;D
sunflowr
24-02-2003, 21:47
"Tarot of the Osbournes"
(didnt make it because all the cards were bleeped out). ;p~~
Here's a few:
The Exceedingly Nice Tarot: all done in pastels...not only is Death titled "Transition" and the Devil titled "Deceit," but the Fool is "The Nice Young Man Who's Stepping Off a Cliff (But Don't Worry - He'll Be Fine)" and the Hanged Man is turned upside down and called "the Dancer." The Star is wearing a one-piece bathing suit.
Le ASMODEUS 666 Tarot du Grand Mal de le Diable: the deck for confused teenage Satanists.
The Fatherpeace Tarot: teaches phallus worship. The Empress is re-titled "Where's my beer, woman?", and the High Preistess is called, "Ah, she prob'ly likes girls, anyway."
Khatruman
03-03-2003, 14:42
The Politically Correct Tarot: No Gender Stereotyping so the Emporer and Empress are interchangeable, as are the High Priestess and the Hierophant. You have the Hanged Person. The Court Cards are Page Person, Armored Person and Royal Persons One and Two. Ohh, and the Fool was also degrading so has been relabled, "The One Who Has Foolish Tendencies which can be corrected through his I.E.P. but is currently mainstreamed so he gets an equal and fair education"
Khatruman
03-03-2003, 14:47
Originally posted by sunflowr
"Tarot of the Osbournes"
(didnt make it because all the cards were bleeped out). ;p~~ Ozzy sitting bewildered as he tries unsuccessfully to read the cards.. "I'm the #$&%ing Prince of Darkness, but I lost the braincells to tell me what that means.... Mr. Crowley!!!!!! What's the #$&%ing Prince of Darkness signify???" :P
violinlily
03-03-2003, 16:57
Tarot Of The CDs... cheaters edition to learning tarot: readable writable cds... ya pop it in your computer, and you have your card meanings in 12 different languages (yes, even Sindarin for all you LOTR fans!!). only problem: the non-tarot readers thought that they were getting a great deal on 78 r/rw cds... and gave a set to their Tarot hating Gramma... (I'm somewhat guilty... lol)
truthsayer
03-03-2003, 21:27
Originally posted by Khatruman
Ohh, and the Fool was also degrading so has been relabled, "The One Who Has Foolish Tendencies which can be corrected through his I.E.P. but is currently mainstreamed so he gets an equal and fair education"
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
khatruman, as a former teach person (teac-her) and later counselor person in an elevated school(high makes one think of taking illegal drugs which is not good) this one has my vote for best so far. the educational system is so full of fence sitting that it's ridiculous.
i wonder what would happen if the osborne tarot got to meet the ozzie and harriet tarot? talk about polar opposites--the family extreme hellishness to the family of absurd niceness. so what card would both ozzy's represent? the fool? })
Khatruman
04-03-2003, 12:46
Originally posted by truthsayer
i wonder what would happen if the osborne tarot got to meet the ozzie and harriet tarot? talk about polar opposites--the family extreme hellishness to the family of absurd niceness. so what card would both ozzy's represent? the fool? }) *L*... thanks, truth! Yes many in my profession have no problem propped on the fence; I personally find it painful..*L*..
And WOW, what a perfect yin/yang thing you have their.. Ozzie and Ozzy!!! And what a statement on the full turn of progress in the television generations. First there was.. Ozzie... Now there is ... Ozzy!!! @#%@#% Prince of Darkness meets the Gosh Darn Prince of Sweaters!
Peace!
FantasyWorld
04-04-2003, 16:15
The Geraldo Rivera Tarot-Do all readings in the sand for all to see!
Lovelace
05-04-2003, 17:21
The Computer Scientist's Tarot: only came with a Fool and a Magician.
divinerguy
28-04-2003, 00:09
The Cybersex Tarot - All of the cards are chain smoking, 44 year old, unemployed bald men.
The Lucky Charms Tarot. With suits of pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers.
baba-prague
28-04-2003, 13:55
Has anyone mentioned the Gambler's Tarot yet? 78 cards, and all of them The Wheel of Fortune in different styles.
sunflowr
30-04-2003, 09:19
Originally posted by ihcoyc
The Lucky Charms Tarot. With suits of pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers.
I like that!! ;) I'd probably buy it if it came out!
WolfSpirit
14-07-2004, 08:46
*bump*
Hope you enjoyed reading this :joke:
SongDeva
14-07-2004, 10:00
Originally posted by Sam
how 'bout "The Stone Tarot" (people kept trying to smoke it!)
There is a stone tarot! :)
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/stone/
"Tarot of the Clowns" : no, there's no real Tarot of the Clowns, but there could be. Follow the links labelled 'art' and find it here: http://www.clowncoffins.com/
There was the Tarot of Cockroaches-- Problem: you could only use them in the dark after you found their hiding places. On the positive side it was a DARK tarot.--Tao
divinerguy
31-10-2004, 21:44
The Ashley Simpson Tarot, a poor copy of the Milli Vanilli Tarot.
You do only one reading and then lip synch every one that follows.
Rusty Neon
31-10-2004, 21:45
Originally posted by divinerguy
3. The Tarot de Anna Kournikova
That would work for me!
blue_fusion
01-11-2004, 00:19
how bout the sex and the city tarot. the four suits would be each Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda.
divinerguy
01-11-2004, 23:24
Originally posted by blue_fusion
how bout the sex and the city tarot. the four suits would be each Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. No kings in this deck, I'm certain.
blue_fusion
03-11-2004, 17:29
Originally posted by divinerguy
No kings in this deck, I'm certain.
au contraire, there'll be new kings every season. ;)
I got one! I got one!!
The Madonna (pop star) Tarot: you can't find a virgin (unused) copy.
Where's my UFO Tarot?
It's rarely seen...
And where's my Crop Circle Tarot...?
OakDragon
06-11-2004, 17:28
And where's my Crop Circle Tarot...?
I'm sure it will suddenly appear overnight!
RedMaple
07-11-2004, 20:48
The Authentic Ancient Native American Shamanic Dragon Deck -
not authentic, not ancient, not Native, not shamanic, no dragons.
Re-released as the Tarot of American Dreams and Nightmares.
NightWing
19-11-2004, 04:01
(Apologies to non-coffee fans)
Might I suggest a Starbucks (coffee) Shop Tarot; the deck would feature images on all 78 cards with huge fake smiles, and come in three hard-to-handle sizes, all of which could burn your fingers. Readings would be ruthlessly efficient, and cost $17.95 per card!
[Query: Does Starbucks exist outside of North America?]
Thanks to all the creative people who contributed here! It was fun reading your ideas.
Cheers
-NightWing
Grizabella
19-11-2004, 09:42
This is such a long thread I may have missed something but did anyone post the Dubya Tarot?
The Fool is Tony Blair, who doesn't know any better than to tag along after Dubya.
Jeb Bush is the Magician, getting Dubya elected---maybe even twice.
And all the court cards are resigning.
You try to put it away but the box won't close.
You try to trade it away but the post office keeps returning it to you.
There was to be a Formula One Tarot, with the drivers representing various cards. The only problem was, no matter how well shuffled the pack, even with this card at the back, the 'Michael Schumacher' card, representing the Devil, kept appearing.
WolfSpirit
19-11-2004, 11:07
(Apologies to non-coffee fans)
Might I suggest a Starbucks (coffee) Shop Tarot; the deck would feature images on all 78 cards with huge fake smiles, and come in three hard-to-handle sizes, all of which could burn your fingers. Readings would be ruthlessly efficient, and cost $17.95 per card!
[Query: Does Starbucks exist outside of North America?]
The cards will also be stain and moisture proof !
I know there are Starbucks in the UK; I haven't seen them in the Netherlands yet. (we do have a different kind of coffee shops, very popular with foreigners ;) )
[Query: Does Starbucks exist outside of North America?]
Yes, the plague is spreading, about 18 months it arrived to Mexico...
NightWing
24-11-2004, 09:28
Well, this IS good news! Perhaps a Starbucks Tarot deck would find something of a market in the U.K. and Mexico, as well as Canada and the U.S.
Thanks for the info.
-in caffeine saturated Canada.
divinerguy
24-11-2004, 16:43
Proposed suits are Cups (obviously), Baristas, Scones and Latte.
Rusty Neon
24-11-2004, 16:59
Proposed suits are Cups (obviously), Baristas, Scones and Latte.
How about stir-sticks in place of the Batons/Wands suit? :)
Moongold
24-11-2004, 17:30
(Apologies to non-coffee fans)
Might I suggest a Starbucks (coffee) Shop Tarot; the deck would feature images on all 78 cards with huge fake smiles, and come in three hard-to-handle sizes, all of which could burn your fingers. Readings would be ruthlessly efficient, and cost $17.95 per card!
[Query: Does Starbucks exist outside of North America?]
Thanks to all the creative people who contributed here! It was fun reading your ideas.
There is a Starbucks in Chapel Street, Prahran (suburb of the cooooool crowd), Melbourne, Australia. I saw it the other night. It's quite small.
I would love to see a Coffee Lovers Tarot. Swords would be Iced Coffee; Cups would be Capuccino with three sugars; Wands would be Long Black and Pentacles would be Strong Latte.
The thought of the Fool of Coffee just delights me. I am a Fool for coffee. The backs of the cards could be white with coffee ring stains on them which could augment the readings.
BTW I just discovered the Peanuts Arcana which I love but it never went anywhere apparently :).
divinerguy
24-11-2004, 21:42
The backs of the cards could be white with coffee ring stains on them which could augment the readings.
BTW I just discovered the Peanuts Arcana which I love but it never went anywhere apparently :).
Hey - reading coffee rings, I think we just discovered a new method of divination.
Hey - reading coffee rings, I think we just discovered a new method of divination.
well, why not? there is someone local here who reads coffee cream. the clouds in your coffee!
sweetmajik
13-11-2005, 00:50
The kindergarten Tarot.....all stick figures (this was my sisters idea)
The late night informmertial Tarot.....Ooooonly 19.95!!!!! Purchase Now and we'll throw in the guidebook FREE!!! That's right I said FREE!!!!
The Up Close and Personal Tarot....78 Images of different parts of the Human Body MAGNIFIED. (i know, this one could be really gross...yet inspirational)
Ok...thats all I got :)
Jeannette
13-11-2005, 01:47
The kindergarten Tarot.....all stick figures (this was my sisters idea)
Sorry, she's too late...
http://www.tarotgarden.com/database/dbsearchengine.php?view_title=stick+figure
The Up Close and Personal Tarot....78 Images of different parts of the Human Body MAGNIFIED.
Will 22 cards do?
http://www.tarotgarden.com/database/dbsearchengine.php?view_title=medical
I think the Informercial one is still up for grabs...
-- Jeannette
The Tarot Garden (http://www.tarotgarden.com?rs=3378)
sweetmajik
13-11-2005, 01:54
Thats too good, i sent her the link on the stick figure deck. Thanks!
OakDragon
13-11-2005, 02:29
The late night informmertial Tarot.....Ooooonly 19.95!!!!! Purchase Now and we'll throw in the guidebook FREE!!! That's right I said FREE!!!!
Hasn't that been done, too? Remember the Miss Cleo Tarot? ;)
The Reduced Shakespeare Tarot: Only 12 cards, but so freaking hilarious that you have to run out and buy decks for all your friends. Adam plays all the women, of course.
jackdaw*
20-11-2006, 11:34
The Canadian Tarot.
Cups would be Tim Horton's.
Wands would be hockey sticks.
Swords would be moose antlers.
Coins would be ... hmm, can anyone help me out here? Canadian Tire money?? Gregory, any ideas?
The Devil would be Rick Mercer, the Empress Mary Walsh. The King of Coins would be Red Green. The Page of Wands would be Anne of Green Gables. The Chariot would be the Mounties.
This is fun ... I should do up a full list ...
RubyRuby
20-11-2006, 11:55
Coins would be ... hmm, can anyone help me out here? Canadian Tire money?? Gregory, any ideas?
Why couldn't it be the Loonie? You know, the King of Loonies, The Queen of Loonies. No offense. :)
jackdaw*
20-11-2006, 12:02
That would make more sense. Loonies it is ($1 coins, they look like chocolate coins, for those that aren't familiar with them). You're much more literal than I am, RubyRuby :)
Signed, QueenofLoonies :D
raventepes
20-11-2006, 20:10
I want it, I WANT THE ESPRESSO TAROT! Who wants to help me create it? I'll pose even, tho i would be a lesser of the pasty tatooed pierced coffee-addicts, i still belong to their numbers.
I bet I could really read with that deck too, i love it!
...D'OH!!!
I'll help :D I fit the description.
greycats
20-11-2006, 23:00
Meadow Muffin Tarot ***
An e-bay ecologically friendly tarot: these rare cards are round like the earth. In fact, they will be earth in a matter of days with no effort on your part. Reasonably priced at $4.50 per 50 lbs for the regular version. Add $1.99 for the gilded version. Shipping: $49.95 . Don't let this one get away!!!! :P
a.k.a. The Cowflop Tarot
Papageno
20-11-2006, 23:29
The Mission Impossible Tarot
it self destructed
Papageno
20-11-2006, 23:31
The Dell Tarot
it self destructed too
but they blamed Sony
Papageno
20-11-2006, 23:35
The IMac Tarot
it used to self destruct
"blame" is not in the vocabulary, please restate your inquiry or hang up and try again please
baba-prague
21-11-2006, 06:07
The Myspace Tarot. Weird layouts and comes with a very noisy soundtrack (but WOW, is it HIP! Well, it thinks so anyway ;) )
raventepes
22-11-2006, 17:23
The Canadian Tarot.
The Devil would be Rick Mercer
How about Celine Dion instead?
But this is JUST a biased opinion :D
jackdaw*
22-11-2006, 17:28
Oh no, raventepes, she is the Happy Squirrell!
The Canadian Tarot?
it didn't fly....it was too polite.
jackdaw*
22-11-2006, 17:33
Yes, that's why I put Rick Mercer in there!
The Chemistry Tarot.....but it didn't get a reaction (I know...groan) :)
Shaymus
*shadow*
23-11-2006, 20:44
The Binary Tarot - Every card is a 1..........................or a 0
Tansey Ella
23-11-2006, 21:59
edited
Star Wars Tarot, in four editions... The Light Side Tarot, the Dark Side Tarot, the Rebellion Tarot (hard to find since it's always on the move), and The Empire Tarot.
But stay away from the Prequel Decks. They may look pretty, but they take all the mystery out of the Dark and Light Side decks, and they're just not very good.
The Corporate Sponser Tarot (the designers didn't have enough money to print the deck, so they redesigned it and sold advertising space on each card. The Empress is holding a bottle of diswashing liquid. Strength is a woman working out to exercise videos normally seen in infomercials. The Chariot card is a car ad).
Tarot of the Squirrels
The Burly Men With Clubs Tarot
The American Idol Tarot (The Devil is Simon Cowell. The Unprepared, Untalented Contestant is The Fool)
The Claytons Tarot ~ The tarot you're having when you are not having a tarot. Have to be an Aussie for this one (maybe:bugeyed:)
Another Aussie Offering - The .05 Tarot - you're a bloody idiot if you buy one!
Also for Aussies - The Glasshouse Tarot - You can see right through it if you aren't laughing so hard that you are blinded by giggle tears.
Aussies again - The Thank God Your Here Tarot - because the reader hasn't got one.
The Spliff Tarot - suddenly have 78 very stoned friends and no deck, and you can't send them overseas because of the sniffer dogs.
The Double Happiness Tarot - Jimmy Barnes sings the interpretations.
The Bank Loan Tarot - it definitely keeps your interest!
mythos:)
Miren - thank you so much for resurrecting this thread. I'm delighted to have found it! So, what I thought was:
The Scarlet Pimpernel Tarot - you can never find it
The Spanish Inquisition Tarot - all the copies got burned before publication
The Groundhog Day Tarot - each card is the same as the one before
The John McEnroe Tarot - after you read each card, it jumps up and shouts "you cannot be serious!"
The Microsoft Tarot - every time you try to do a reading, you get an error message.