What is the right way to approach Feedback?

Baroli

Ok, now if this is in the wrong place, I am sorry. Can't blame it on morning coffee either, LOL.

Anyway, we have talked and asked about how to read, who to read to, what to do when reading, you get the idea. Now how about feedback. Again, if this subject has been covered, I beg the "Mod Squad's" pardon.

I have been lurking and then reading here for a while, (since Feb '06) and longer out there in physical realm. (I hate using the phrase real world). Now, reading professionally you either will get someone who gushes profusely with "YES, that right!!" or you're full of Crap. Ok, that's nice. But what about here? Oh we are all very nice for the most part, a few who have their noses out of joint, but we are very polite with our feedback. Afterall, we are in a learning environment I think, and we can learn from our triumphs and our screw-ups. I know I have.

My question is, what is the correct way to give feedback? Should you gush, or deny, or should you redo the reading that the reader so painstakingly did for you to begin with? Is there a correct way at all? I know enquiring minds want to know,............. namely me.

Baroli
 

star-lover

I think its a balancing act - you have to be truthful as in - no this makes no sense whatseover - but also have to think - perhaps what x reader has told me is true but i'm blind cant see it - and you search and think - and dont forget sometimes the client is very confused either because of a situation or more likely they have had umpteen readings on the same subject and have totally brain saturated on it and talk nonsense


anyway anyfeedback is better than no feedback - happened a long time ago but i spent a good 20/30 minutes on a reading on 3 occasions on here and got *thanks* LOL - wouldnt mind ordinarly but was really trying hard as a newbie - would have liked a full sentence with a bit of substance to it eithe r positive or negative roflmao!
 

Baroli

Ha!! I knew there was a thread. Thank you very much!! Just read through it and it brings up the aspect of learning from feedback. Cool!!!

Baroli
 

Hawthorne

For me, my feedback has to be honest and to the point. I would never say a reading was terrible, but I would say that I just didnt feel that it was right for me and my situation. Honesty is important to the reader for their development. Saying a reading was marvellous when it was not, that just misleads the reader.

I aim to be honest, and also, if there's something I need to clarify I will ask the question. Sometimes I see something and will ask the reader to explain more about a certain card. Just because I saw it, doesnt mean its the truth! Often I need the reader to just say a little more about it and then I get the understanding that I need.

I tend to be gushy when I really feel that a reading has touched my soul. I have sometimes found readers who express themselves wonderfully, who seem to sum up my situation and who can give me practical and positive guidance. I have a bit of an issue with this , because since my favourite face to face reader retired, the only person I trust to now read professionally for me is also a moderator here. I've never been sure if it's appropriate for me to sing the readers praises here at AT, or if that would be frowned on - like free advertising! :)
 

starrystarrynight

I agree, Hawthorne. Honesty is the whole point of feedback. I just try to keep in mind that honesty can be transmitted with grace and a touch of humor.

Awhile back someone (I think it was you, Baroli) gave me a reading describing someone as a Dudley Do-right type. I fired back that no, I felt he was more of a Dudley Do-wrong, and I think we both kinda giggled at the analogy.
(By the way, Baroli, if that was you, I have since come to understand how right you were about that particular analogy and how wrong I was...)

Which points out what someone else here said. Something may not ring true at the moment--and, in fact, may sound like it comes from outer space--but give it time. You never know what may transpire to change your views on a reading.

Yeah, gentleness, grace, and humor...that's how I like getting my feedback.
 

Barbaras Ahajusts

Hiney Kissing Feedback :)

Proper feedback. Hummm?

I don't want my hiney kissed, but I sure as heck don't want someone diasecting a reading I have done for their situation, either. That was hot burning energy & my time they just tossed with their verbal onslaught in diasecting a reading!!

I read for someone once, who was very, very down. They tossed out what I said the cards said, for what they felt they should mean. That was NOT acceptable in any realm, I must say!

Now, if they had done this in a private manner,via PM, I still would have been ticked off. LOL!
BUT, there is a way to say, "Oh you should have said, Bull S__t when you said Ice Cream for me."

I know I have received readings I thought were BS but did my level best to be nice, and when it warrented it, I contacted them privately. A few giggles, a bit of nervesness and it was all cool. Just don't change someones reading to "FIT" your "TAKE" on your situation.
Ahhh, excuse me...thats why we can't/shouldn't read for ourselves, 'cause we are TO CLOSE to the SITUATION!

I say if a reading doesn't fit, go take a walk, take a potty break, take 10! Just walk away for a spell. Don't knee jerk and say "Bull Sh*t" then change it up. (I know first hand, cause I have been on the BS yelling side too! :D

Being on both sides of this problem I was told to "Settle Down, its their problem, not yours." And ya know what? It is. It really is. They want to control the reading. The reading you wasted your intuitive, hot, pulsing energy on. Hell, let 'em have it, if it means that much they must be rude.

Consider it used toliet paper and don't mess with the buggers! (Man, I know thats harsh, but its like everyday neighbors/co-workers you hide from, that love to rag on your rear-end, isn't it?)

I know we need to be polite. I know this is a reading/teaching/learning group. But we do need to lean towards the overly polite till we can get some time between a reading that is off the bleeding wall for us to, "OMG, thats what they said for me! Yikes!" Either that or give up reading altogether! :laugh:LMAO!

Its hard to take it in the gut when you knew, with all that flows from you, that someone has a different take on what you read for them and WHAT they WANT you to say! ;)

Ah hells bells, we all get ticked off from time to time, but we do need to learn to be overly, gushing polite, till we get that time away from the reading to see if it was really Bull Shi* or not! :laugh:

Barb
 

Ruby7

Be honest but thoughtful. Those seem like the two most important points to me.

Ruby7
 

jmd

When I go out for a meal, or watch a film, or partake in a social gathering, I personally want to have the 'space' to digest and enjoy what I have partaken of, without the pressure to give detailed 'feedback' about the experience.

At times, a meal I may have enjoyed may cause a migraine to develop the next day. Conversely, a meal I ate without the same level of enjoyment may make me feel really 'clean' and full of health the next day.

Even then, it may not be until years later that I would be able to recognise the connection between a specific food item and impact.

With a reading, a simple 'thankyou' for a reading I give is sufficient, though I of course also appreciate reading details I may not have picked up, or other feedback in the development of the other person's situation.

I suspect the feedback I may give others is more on the minimalistic scale - yet this does not diminish, from my perspective, the transformative character of the reading as accepted. On the contrary: I am more likely to take onboard details I do not comment much on, than discuss those.

The thread opens with a title that suggests there may be a 'right way' to approach feedback. Apart from appreciation, I do not think there is any standard right way - and even with appreciation, this may be expressed in quite diverse ways.
 
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