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Sammie
16-09-2006, 06:53
What crystal or stone is best at warding off negative energy? There is a person in my life who is so negative and pessimistic that every time I'm around them their negative energy acts kind of like an energy vampire and makes me feel so tired and down. I don't feel this way until I'm around them.

I was thinking perhaps I could make myself a necklace of Red Jasper beads and wearing that might help surround myself with protection from Negative Energy.

Please let me know what the best stone of crystal would be - I'm new to Crystals and Stones and don't really know what would be best. My Tarot of Timeless Truth has stones and crystals associated with the Majors and has Red Jasper as one that wards off negative energy.


Thanks!!

chrisam-crystals
16-09-2006, 07:21
hi sammie.

you can program a clear quartz crystal to deflect any negative energy or to stop psychic vampires - clean it with water and then sit quietly and speak to the crystal whilst holding it on your writing hand.

red jasper is better really for grounding your energy, but i can recommend trying hematite or black obsidian to prevent any psychic/emotional draining.

or you could simply break ties with this person or avoid them in your life.

jue xx

mysticmonkey
16-09-2006, 09:48
I'd also advise imagining putting up a protective wall around you. I tend to visualise a wall of light all around me.
I don't know if it works purely on a psychological level or if it actually blocks the negative energy but it does seem to help me create a bit of distance between myself and the vampire.

I also second the suggestion to cut ties with this person if at all possible but I know this is not always so easy. My particular vampire is a work collegue so I'll only be able to cut ties when I leave the job.

Briar Rose
16-09-2006, 13:19
I've been in that situation so many times. I find it goes like this:
#1) no matter what you do and think, that person is an idiot
#2) open your heart and realise how much pain they must be going through to be that type of person. Forgive them, and hold a rose quartz. I told people I didn't like, "I love you, I am so glad you are here." And they changed their attitude with me. I've been known to give a crystal to those types.
#3) quit and find another job

Over all, Kyanite, Citrine cannot hold any negative energy

I hear that black tourmaline gets rid of negative energy

Sammie
16-09-2006, 14:02
Thank you everyone on your advice.

I really wish I could just avoid this person BUT, unfortunately, he's my husband! We've been married almost 30 years - I didn't realize it when we were dating but shortly after we married I found out how negative and pessimistic he was. It didn't seem to bother me all that much, I worked at a busy job until I had a baby boy and then all through his growing up was busy and happy and felt so much love and gratitude that I could be a stay at home Mom and raise our son. Things were always busy and happy with his school, college and then working. Even though he moved into his own place when he was around 25 years old we saw him many times a week and his friends and girlfriends were always hanging around.

Well, our son was married in June to a lovely girl. They moved a few thousand miles away and life is so different. It's just my husband and me - he just never has a kind word to say about anything. Anything I do or say is stupid. He very rarely speaks to me unless it's to growl. Even though I might feel happy and energetic during the day as soon as he gets home from work I start to feel my energy draining away. After just a short time, I can't wait till he goes to bed so I can feel like myself again. He seems like an energy vampire.

We've talked about it and he says he will try and be more positive but it just doesn't seem to ever happen. Hopefully, it will eventually improve.

Anyway, I put on a necklace of hematite beads that look like a string of black pearls on before he came home tonight and put an Apache Tear (black obsidian) in my pocket. I still feel a slight lag of energy but not as bad as most nights. So, maybe it's helping. It might be mind over matter but as long as it works, I don't care how it works!

Thanks for the advice and thanks for listening to this long, windy post!

chrisam-crystals
16-09-2006, 20:48
"We've talked about it and he says he will try and be more positive but it just doesn't seem to ever happen. Hopefully, it will eventually improve."

but you have been together for 30 years....how much longer do you think it will take?

he doesn't sound like a classic psychic vampire to me.....he just sounds like a jerk.

you are feeling drained because of the effort you are putting in and he is just taking, taking, taking.....and giving nothing in return - therefore you are feeling depressed by it all.

this life is not a rehearsal, and you will be very lucky to remember it when you come back in your next one.

take charge of your life and give him an ultimatum.....either shape up or ship out.

people very rarely change and sometimes you just need to admit defeat.

and don't think that it is impossible to do it - i left my partner and took a 3 year old, a 6 month old and a bag of belongings and slept on the floor of my mum's one bedroom apartment, and 6 years on we are fine and dandy. :D

Phoenix Rising
16-09-2006, 21:49
Actually your case sounds exactly like my mother..my dad is very difficult to live with most of the time..he can say things so hurtful to my mother, especially when he's whinging about one of us (4 kids) They have been married for nearly 40 years..There has been a few times, when they've split up..but not for very long...we all thought it was good for my mother to be away from my negative dad...We could never understand why she took him back all the time..don't get me wrong we love our dad...and well "So does my mum" she really can't live without him..she has become accustomed to his ways..he has his good days..but he'll never change, he's nearly 60...and a 60 year old habit is hard to change. She copes by switching off her "ears" and when they have their "silent" moments of not talking to each other..well she's happy with that. Although she'll still cook his dinner. He can't cook to save himself.

I have heard of the "Black obsidian"..but in reality..the change or best defence towards his negativity can only come from in you...My mother laughs now..actually so do we..it's hilarious to watch him when he's yelling...it used to frighten the shit out of us..now it's funny. Laughter is the best medicine for depressing situations....try and find a funny side to it.

Elysianfaery
16-09-2006, 23:35
Hi Sammie,
Have you thought about marriage counseling? If not, then just seeing a counselor yourself. It sounds like you haven't had much of a voice in the past, and it would help you get things out by talking about it. Find out what you really want and need in your life - and what you can do with out. You'd also get to hear a fresh perspective on the situation.

Something needs to change because you deserve to be treated better than this! I was in a long-term relationship with an emotionally abusive partner, which I left 2 years ago...so I understand. Empower yourself, love yourself, starting thinking about yourself...it requires a change in mindset to create change in your life.

:love:
EF

chrisam-crystals
17-09-2006, 01:58
EF is correct.

taking back control of your life is a very empowering but scary thing to do, and it takes a lot of confidence to do it.

saying that you are too old or too settled to leave someone is a sign of lack of confidence, and invariably means that you don't have the inner strength to do it.

harden yourself, teach yourself and above all LOVE yourself and the results will amaze everyone.

some people - like your hubby - keep on thinking that nothing will ever happen and that is why they carry on being negative.....show him that he can't do it on YOUR time.

it is a form of bullying and so you need to take action to stop it.

try using some rose quartz to bring self love to yourself, but be warned.....it can bring some very strong emotions to the surface which have been buried for years.

wearing a crystal isn't going to make him change.....he has to want to change himself.

perhaps there is something in his life that occurred which has made him how he is?

do you think that he would be willing to go into counselling as EF suggested?

jue xx

manhattan9thgate
17-09-2006, 02:23
you don't need crystals to ward off the negativity. IMHO it won't help.

what you DO need is an epiphany. a moment of self-realization.

wear a crystal or a jewel to empower YOURSELF.

as far as your marriage is concerned.......many couples are in this situation. if you don't want to go down the road of legal divorce etc. then just go on your own way and find your own path. develop and nurture your own interests (that don't include him) because he clearly does not want to be bothered with you (or anything else for that matter) many married men are in that position. he's unhappy with his lot in life. he like other married men feel short changed dfreaming about "what-might-have- been"

well, life is tough and get over it, that's what I say. do what you must for yourself.

chrisam-crystals
17-09-2006, 04:06
well said that woman!

or man......cos i don't know which you are! lol

Lurea
17-09-2006, 04:33
Let's not be too hard on Sammie, she came for friendly advice, and telling her to get a divorce might be a little more than she bargained for!

I have a husband who's a bit that way himself, but I still love him, and he's a great father to our three, and I certainly wouldn't leave him over it. In his case, he never got enough nurturing from a busy, workaholic career mom, so occasionally tends to hang on and cling, and suck up all my energy and positivity.

I do second spending some time on separate activities, though--helps you develop your own sense of self, and then it's easier to distance his neediness, negativism from your feelings.

manhattan9thgate
17-09-2006, 06:00
Let's not be too hard on Sammie, she came for friendly advice, and telling her to get a divorce might be a little more than she bargained for!

I have a husband who's a bit that way himself, but I still love him, and he's a great father to our three, and I certainly wouldn't leave him over it. In his case, he never got enough nurturing from a busy, workaholic career mom, so occasionally tends to hang on and cling, and suck up all my energy and positivity.

I do second spending some time on separate activities, though--helps you develop your own sense of self, and then it's easier to distance his neediness, negativism from your feelings.

Nobody is being hard on Sammie. NOT AT ALL. We are saying that she needs to empower herself and not be bullied by a insensitive self centred husband.
she needs to re-develop her own sense of self esteem and worth and do the things that are important to her personally.
message boards are difficult at best. the tone of a message is often misread.

Sammie
17-09-2006, 06:12
Gosh, thanks so much all of you for taking the time to reply to what I said. It really has helped me a lot to feel empowered and that I can (and will) do something about this!

I hope none of you get in trouble for being off topic.

None of your posts were offensive to me at all - in my heart of heart I know that in the end, I need to do something about this and not just feel depressed and disheartened by it.

Actually, I really do think things are looking up. Today, for the first time, my husband actually shuffled up one of my Oracle Decks and drew a card - it was the Irish Fairy Cards and he drew Fresh Start (very synchronistic!). He even read the blurb in the book about it. If you knew him, you'd know how amazing this is - previously he has always ridiculed my cards and said what a load of crap they all were ever though I'd tried to explain to him that the don't really predict they let you get in touch with yourself.

So, thanks again kind people. It's so nice to know that there are so many kind and thoughtful people in the world.

I will keep wearing the hematite beads and carrying the Apache Tear - I slept with them under my pillow last night. Even if all they do is to empower me to feel less worn down to a nub with negativity - they are accomplishing something important.

MysticRose
18-09-2006, 18:24
I also recommend Blue Kyanite in addition to your hematite. It is just fantastic stuff for clearing your own energy and bringing more good energy in ... to support yourself. It has such a happy clear energy with it too. It will not attract or build up negativity so it's perfect in that way. Smaller ones are not too spendy. You could get one for under your pillow, one for somewhere in the house and one in a pendant to wear. ;-) Reiki may be a nice addition for you (and him) as well but that is not a crystal. :-)

Sammie
18-09-2006, 18:37
I also recommend Blue Kyanite in addition to your hematite. It is just fantastic stuff for clearing your own energy and bringing more good energy in ... to support yourself. It has such a happy clear energy with it too. It will not attract or build up negativity so it's perfect in that way. Smaller ones are not too spendy. You could get one for under your pillow, one for somewhere in the house and one in a pendant to wear. ;-) Reiki may be a nice addition for you (and him) as well but that is not a crystal. :-)

Thanks SkyDancer, I will look into the Blue Kyanite!

Still wearing my hematite beads and I'm just off to bed where I'll have them and my apache tear under my pillow. We've had a better weekend than usual, I've not stood for any negativeness and nastiness on his part.

You all have been so kind - it's really empowering.

Wonderwoman
25-09-2006, 15:09
Heavensvault, I am fascinated with your advice. Its really interesting, for me, personally, finding this site helped me immensly with the psychic vampires around me. I have never felt so grounded as I do today. Anytime any fear starts to creep in, I am reminded of the DEVIL card in tarot. Its just the unknown, fear, nothing more. Once i recognize that it is THEM and not me, I feel so much better! I've been in that situation so many times. I find it goes like this:
#1) no matter what you do and think, that person is an idiot
#2) open your heart and realise how much pain they must be going through to be that type of person. Forgive them, and hold a rose quartz. I told people I didn't like, "I love you, I am so glad you are here." And they changed their attitude with me. I've been known to give a crystal to those types.
#3) quit and find another job

Over all, Kyanite, Citrine cannot hold any negative energy

I hear that black tourmaline gets rid of negative energy

raeanne
26-09-2006, 01:35
Hi Sammie,
Basically there are two issues here. One is you and the other is hubby. To protect you, I would reccomend the stone 'Jet'. This incredible stone is surprisingly light weight. If black onyx is a heavy suit of armour, Jet would be a high tech kevlar vest. I have had very good results with Jet. It seems to deflect a lot of negativity. Once you have a bit of protection from the negativity, it will be easier for you to focus on things that will add joy and happiness to your life. As for hubby...could it be that he is suffering from a mild case of depression? Perhaps you should talk to your family doctor and get hubby in for a good check-up. If your children are all raised, he may be feeling a bit useless and uncertain about what direction his life is going. Is there something you can do for him to help reassure him that he has a purpose in life? Change is difficult, especially for someone who might have a bit of depression. Also, take a good look at his diet. Adding more fresh fruit and vegetables to his diet can work wonders. Does he drink plenty of water? It sounds weird but if his beverages are 'dark' his attitude will also be dark. Clearer liquids will help lighten his mood. Best wishes to you and hubby.

lizzywitch
29-09-2006, 09:38
I read the original post and the susequent replies with interest...when I got to the explanation about who the negative person is I felt a complete sense of understanding. You could be talking about my life. The only differences are that my children are 10 and 8. After a series of family deaths my husband has suffered from depression and has received treatment for it but he is so rude and unpleasant that I find it hard to have any sympathy left for him. He often works away for a few days and I love those days. I am completely relaxed and the house is a better place without his negativity around here...when he arrives home it's as if a black cloud has returned.

I will be following some of the advice in this post myself and wonder if you have tried any of them and how they worked for you.?..keep your chin up..find your own interests and spend as little time with him as possible...I know it's not ideal but it works for me...I dare say though that it wont work forever and I will have to make some braver choices.

I look forward to reading your progress.

little_redfox
30-09-2006, 01:51
I hear that black tourmaline gets rid of negative energy

Ive been using this for a week and its the best stone ive used so far. I have a very negative family member to the point of being arround them makes me feel like im going to be physically sick at times. But this seems to have changed it - and i noticed on the one day i forgot my black tourmaline pendant i felt awful again. I love this family member very much so dont want to stop seeing them, but they just drip with negativity sadly:(. Ive tried other stones but for me this seems to do the trick marvelously (yay), although i know that some stones can work better for different people.
I hope things improve for you soon anyways Sammie whatever you try *hugs* :)

Steph x

sascha
30-09-2006, 19:40
Hi Sammie,
I'm sorry I don't have any crystal recommendations for you, but from reading your posts and the replies, I have to say I found your husband's symptoms all too familiar. I would second raeanne's and lizzywitch's suggestion that he may be depressed. Having dealt with it for years personally, and knowing the difference treatment can make in the quality of one's life, I hope he will be willing to consider this possibility.

Irritability, negativity, "laziness," anger, impatience, over- or under-sleeping, over- or under-eating, criticism of self and others....and so many more are all symptoms many people might not think of in relation to depression. (And I don't mean to suggest that your husband is experiencing all of these issues.) But because people often associate these kinds of behaviours with a "bad attitude," very often people don't get help, believing there's just something wrong with their personality, rather than understanding it as a physical condition---a chemical imbalance---which CAN be remedied. And life can be so much better! For him and for you.

I wish you and your husband all the best,
Sascha

Debra
30-09-2006, 20:54
I too want to thank folks for the suggestions on dealing with a negative person whom is nonetheless loved....much food for thought here, and I'm mentally going through my stones and necklaces to see what will fit the bill the next time I'm visiting with one particular loved-but-negative family member....