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Horace
30-10-2006, 23:42
Hi, I could use some advice... I frequently go with a friend of mine to visit her mom, 86, in an Alzheimer's home. She doesn't like to go alone. D doesn't know who we are, but when I hug her, some days she won't let go. I'm figuring she must be absorbing some of my energy, because I'm so tired when I get home. I carry a piece of hematite in my pocket anyway, but in D's case it doesn't seem to be enough. I put lots of white light in and around me and I really enjoy sharing it with her. But what can I carry or use or do that will replenish me quicker? and if I do this a lot, 2 or 3x a week, what do I need to watch for? or does it even matter? thanks for any input. Hh

Kahlie
31-10-2006, 04:00
Learn to shield.

My energy is very high that is why people always run to hug me. I've even been called 'huggable' by grown up people... If you are that tired, you are either too open or somebody is taking what doesn't belong to them. If you are well-balanced and you give off Love Energy while remembering to nourish and nurture yourself, you would be ok.

Ask yourself: "Do you often forget to nurture yourself? Do you have relationships that are always leaving you drained? Do you take enough time to relax?"
If you do answer yes, I'd advise you to learn to say no =) Plus spending some time and reading a book on Energy Healing will help you build up your own energy. That way, if you are tired, you can learn to run up the energy from the earth back into you, and give yourself a boost :)

If you don't have this behaviour and it's only with this single lady, then, imagine yourself shielded by a net or Angels wings. Love Energy can come in, and it can only go out if you sent it. Nasty Energy can't penetrate.

Remember, this person isn't trying to attack you, probably she just needs a lot of energy because she's afraid and alone. The fact that you 'whitelight' yourself might make you show up bright and cuddly for her.

Kahlie

star-lover
31-10-2006, 05:30
i dont know what its like but just wanted to say that phrase psychic vampire enabler seemed a bit negative to me from the outset and after reading the post thought this woman is not trying to harm you - so i guess its just a case of you trying to figure out what to do, what to use to help her and yourself

good luckxxxxx

Rabbit
31-10-2006, 07:04
She's probably confused about things too. My mother has it. It's not fun for them and they are scared! Nice of you to help your friend and her mom.

Sweet Irish Angel
31-10-2006, 07:09
as other have said you prob appear very approachable to her and she does not meant to take your energy, maybe if you try grounding yourself with obesidian you will not appear in the white light, also carry clear quarts this will enhance your energy field, black onyx is used for protection, it is a great energy shield. Used for grounding and centering oneself. this might be of benefit to you too :)

hope this is of help to you

ravenest
31-10-2006, 09:15
D doesn't know who we are, but when I hug her, some days she won't let go. I'm figuring she must be absorbing some of my energy, because I'm so tired when I get home.

Awww, the poor ol' darling. She's not a vampire, she just needs some nice energy, and you have it.

What happens is you build up energy and store it, she draws from that and then you feel depleated because you take some time to build up and restore the 'lost' energy.

Next time you hug her try this; dont hold back anything, allow her to draw on you BUT be totally open drawing in all the energy you can from all sources, especially 'universal/cosmic' energy. Concentrate on being an empty and clear channel to the source then she can get energy THROUGH you instead of OFF you.

This process also builds up energy and clarity in the 'channel' and if done correctly both partiers benefeit. if this doesnt work go and see a good chakra 'balancer' or balance your own, you could have a bockage in your system.

memries
31-10-2006, 09:40
I do not totally agree. I am an empath so I can pick up what people have. It works differently for different people. You must find your own path through this as only you can. If it were me I would just stay away from her. You are not equipped to handle it. I do not mean this unkindly but I do have experience and I did learn it the hard way.

Some people feel more than others. Some people give more than others. Also some people receive more than others. It is not a question of being a clear channel if you are an empath. It does not work that way.

ravenest
31-10-2006, 10:50
I do not totally agree. I am an empath so I can pick up what people have. It works differently for different people.
Indeed it does, but I find nothing in Horaces post nor profile to suggest that this person has a problem with being an empath.

You must find your own path through this as only you can.
Of course, my suggestions are just that, suggestions and suggesting a trial.

If it were me I would just stay away from her. You are not equipped to handle it. I do not mean this unkindly but I do have experience and I did learn it the hard way.
To me, THIS seems unkind, denying a poor old lonely person a nice hug, and not just that, you suggest Horace even stays away from her? What makes you think Horace is "not equipped" ? Perhaps you have further info about Horace ?

Some people feel more than others. Some people give more than others. Also some people receive more than others. It is not a question of being a clear channel if you are an empath. It does not work that way.

No it doesnt but I feel that people who have trouble with empath energies would benefiet from the exercise of allowing interaction without negative effect.

I am sorry if I have overreacted to your post but " If it were me I would just stay away from her. " pressed a button. I worked for 7 years in a geriatric nursing home and witnessed first hand the results (on the elderly) of similar attitudes.

Indeed, "some people feel more than others. Some people give more than others. Also some people receive more than others."

Dancing Bear
31-10-2006, 11:06
I Use to go see my great grandmother in a nursing/retirement home, and i think it is the place they live in ...... that also is very draining...
I became depressed being in that enviroment, and felt so depleted when i left....God only knows how i am going feel when it is my turn...

I have no help remedies as i never was able to discover one for myself, I just kept reminding myself my great grandma must feel to some degree as i did when i entered the place and took some consolation that i made her day when i visited,

She absolutely hated the place really , God rest her soul!!

i hope i get visitors when i am in one ;)

You are being very kind to help out your friend and her grandma... :love:

celticnoodle
31-10-2006, 11:48
Horace, I cannot offer much in the way of advice or suggestions, but I also wanted to mention what a wonderful friend you are to both the daughter and her mother.

Yes, going to nursing homes can be draining as Dancing Bear menitoned--I agree. I also worked for years in a nursing home and then later with the elderly through the Agency on Aging. I still work as a volunteer with the elderly. Though it can be draining, after I come home and rest up from my visit with them, I feel so good knowing that I brightened their day some. They all look forward to visitors, and again as Dancing Bear mentioned, I hope when I am in a nursing home, I will be lucky enough to have visitors too.

I do hope you don't quit the visits, as I'm sure they mean so much to the mother, and her daughter. No-one likes to be alone. I'm sure one day the blessings will come back to you.

Elven
31-10-2006, 12:20
Hi Horace :)

just my two cents worth :)

Compassion is the greatest gift you can take with you when you go to her - it will protect you and allow you to give and recieve - she is not an empty vessel - and the interaction and exchange does not need to be draining or taking something from you which you cannot give.

True compassion, not feeling sorry for her, but the deep unconditional understanding of her situation and yours, sheilds and nutures you both. Compassion holds within it a pure love for self and others - it cannot dimminish, and goes to heal where it is needed most.

Try to be aware of your part in the human exchange of compassion - she will feel the difference and her inner fears may disolve somewhat, the energy will change, and the interaction will feel 'different'.

Keep a protective light bubbled around you, wear what ever stones you feel necessary - such as those which will balance and protect you, ground you and yet enable love and compassion to flow. You could help her by cleansing the room she is in or even visualize her in a crystal cradle of protection, healing and comfort - instead of acold and sterile bed - she is possibley lying in the residue of many confused, sick or passed over Souls. The vibration in these places can be very erratic, so something soothing around her would help. Maybe even a crystal or a talisman for her. She may not remember who gave it to her, she may loose it - whatever! Leave something with her that helps her when others are not there to comfort her. A little gold angel or a picture - some flowers - it all makes a difference. But compassion and unconditional love are the most poweful!

Blessings Elven x

Horace
31-10-2006, 13:36
You all gave me such good advice..and a proper scolding or two as well.:) thanks for both
I don't consider the term 'vampire' as negative, so maybe my expressing what I wanted Dorothy to take from me as energy was taken for a mean thing to say. It wasn't meant that way. I'm sure some vampires rely on each other for sustenance. However I merely meant that I was enabling her to have my energy. I'm not sure what an empath is, but what is the difference between giving someone lots of white light and trying to cheer up someone in other ways?

It's a moot point, anyway. Dorothy's spirit has chosen All Hallow's Eve as her time to depart. The hospital called, the pneumonia took over her body. The family drove down the mountain to wait... Hh

Elven
31-10-2006, 14:26
((((Dorothy))))) May your transition be easy and friends be there to greet you. No more confusion or worry - rest heal and recouperate!

I feel she was preparing to leave - there's a lesson there somewhere.

Blessings Elven x

MCsea
31-10-2006, 14:47
Blessings and prayers for this transition at this time...

Horace bless you for your strength, friendship and compassion.

MARINA

Kahlie
31-10-2006, 16:17
May Dorothy find peace on the other side and have an easy transition.

And of course, my love comfort and support for those who stayed behind.

Kahlie

Sweet Irish Angel
31-10-2006, 16:43
may Dorothy find peace and solitude in the arms of the Angels, I know how you feel, aint a nice time to pass on,my gran is dead 10yrs today :(

floracove
31-10-2006, 19:21
hmmm...
I was gonna suggest maybe charging a piece of rose quartz for her to keep...

Briar Rose
31-10-2006, 22:20
I am so sorry. You were/are a great friend. It was nice of you to go.

memries
31-10-2006, 22:38
I agree Horace that you were a very good friend to visit Dorothy with your friend. You will have the consolation of knowing that she will be at peace after the struggle she underwent. I too send light and love to her and to her close ones.

memries
31-10-2006, 23:12
I will try to explain what an empath is rather than defend myself about saying do not go to visit her.

When you are an empath, you become the person and the person draws your strength into them and to a certain extent they become you. If you are unaware that this is happening you can become just devastated as you are not ready to receive their condition.

Compassion is the really the key that opens that door into your being. Hugging or hands on healing make it an active energy exchange between two people.

In Reiki an energy exchange takes place. You send your energy to the other person as you give them a treatment. The problem arises when you take in their energy. Everyone talks about a "clear energy channel" they should be talking about " a clear non returnable energy channel". I must say that Reiki helped me to overcome to a certain extent that return energy.

The idea of shape shifting comes to mind where the Shaman becomes the bird or animal and is able to see through its eyes. I always wonder how the bird or animal feels when the Shaman departs ?

In the Bible Jesus knew when the woman, touched his garment as energy left him. He stopped and addressed the person. This was the woman who had an issue of loosing blood for many years. She thought if she could just touch His robe she would recover. Now that was Faith. She was healed because she received His energy.

I do not profess to know it all for sure. I know that when I was in a hands on healing group and someone had a headache, they went home just fine and I had the headache for a while. Another time I was praying for a young family member who was shop lifting. I prayed and prayed and when I went to the store I had the urge to steal something. I had money in my pocket. I left the store and got outside and thought, "What the heck is that ?" I had assumed his condition. (I thought it was some kind of shadow of thievery at the time.) I came to realize that you must know yourself and what you accept and what you don't. I knew that was not me at all as I am a very honest person.

It took me years to find a person to explain it to me and that was when I was searching and this person was also a Spiritual Empath and she understood exactly.

This does not mean I do not visit seniors' homes and in fact went twice last week to my dying sister in law. It just means I am older and know how to handle the event. It is when you are not prepared that you run into trouble.
My problem is too much compassion and it backfires !

All I am really saying Horace is search out the word Empath and understand what happened to you as it was an unusual reaction. Kind of a wake up call to investigate...Dorothy

celticnoodle
31-10-2006, 23:27
Horace, my thoughts and prayers will be with you and the family of the dear lady who just passed.

Memries--thank you for explaining about an empath, as I was not 100% sure of how it worked. what a responsibility that is! your posting has helped me to understand it more and has also made me want to read more about it.

Kahlie
01-11-2006, 15:45
I will try to explain what an empath is rather than defend myself about saying do not go to visit her.

When you are an empath, you become the person and the person draws your strength into them and to a certain extent they become you. If you are unaware that this is happening you can become just devastated as you are not ready to receive their condition.


I think you meant to say "you become them" not "they become you" - but maybe I'm mistaken.

As an Empath, I can vouch for what Dorothy says. You have to empower yourself with knowledge and experience. I'd go home with other people's anxieties, pains and emotions. Remember that these people aren't trying to attack you - but that is not how it feels at first.

"If looks could kill" is nothing compared to feeling the overwhelming hatred and jealousy in somebody you love - directed at YOU!

Empaths should be very mindful to nurture themselves, find ways to release emotions and conditions that aren't theirs and empower themselves with knowledge. Don't choose to let it impede your life and make your decisions for you (not going to a shop, not going to a certain person etc.), but do remove yourself from situations that are toxic to you, until you are more stable.

Most Empaths I know love balance and harmony and their homes are very harmonious. They can't stand clutter or things being out of place, unless it's a personal preference.

It's a powerful Blessing, but can become a bane if you don't learn to take care of yourself.

Kahlie

Tansey Ella
01-11-2006, 17:32
edited

Kahlie
01-11-2006, 18:09
I know for myself I have always taken on others feeligs but did not realize i was doing that. I was a emotional wreck at times. When memries said she became that person it all made more sense. I have had that happen often , it is really frightening, it feels as if you are looking through the eyes of that person. I even experienced it tonight. We went to a halloween carnival sponsered by my twin granddaughters school. Her father has recently left the family, however he showed up for a few minutes to take a pic and then left. I could feel her deep sorrow and as i looked out from her eyes i felt adrift in an ocean, without a life perserver. I felt like running up and down the street crying. I was gripped with pain , I felt her fear. I saw her looking at other little girls with fathers, and asking why she does not have a daddy. She was so upset while we were all trick or treating she would not come near me, she kept running to the doors and I had to almost run to stay near her. When she saw i would not leave , she calmed a bit. I just got a close as she would allow me and hoped i could give her my love and strength and feelings of protection.
it is 0200 and i'm up posting about this. it is so hard to experience this . My husband a man has been sound asleep for hours. He can see her pain, but does not expreiece it like I do.
I have not found a way to protect myself from this . Either i feel this or i don't . I just have to find a way to get the recovery time down.
breezes

Dear Breezes,

A big hug to you! Warm and fuzzly! My hardest time was a month ago when I had to deal with over 20 people who were all grieving during the time my grandmother was dying bit by bit.

Some tips that might help you:
- Shower and repeat: "I am willing to release this pain/these feelings that is/are not mine"
- Calm yourself down and remember all the good times when your Empathic Abilities helped people in meaningful ways
- Despite the pain - trust that your granddaughter will deal with her feelings, and will be feeling better eventually

I have a lot more tips, and was planning to write them down soon. PM me if you want to talk ok?

Kahlie

memries
01-11-2006, 19:33
Kahlie... I am not sure how you took what I said. I was trying to think of another way to look at the remark but it is escaping me.

Certainly when you hug someone as Dorothy was hugging Horace, Dorothy was receiving something for sure. It is in this way I meant that to a certain extent they become you. Horace's life force or God's life force is being taken in by Dorothy. Also who knows how receptive Dorothy was and it may well be she was given great comfort by Horace. I believe she was.

As per my story of the temptation to shop lift in the previous post. To my knowledge the shop lifting of the young member of the family stopped. So because I had removed that energy from him it alleviated the problem. I was stuck with the negative energy. So yes, he did take in something from me.
I followed that up by prayer and a lifting of that energy to God. I have never had a recurrence of that temptation.

I do not want to sound like a total nut here and it is difficult to explain. I do not understand it all either I just know it happened to me. I do not do hands on healing any more. I do use Reiki on occasion as I took the courses but sorry to say only on my trusted family or friends. I do not want any more
strange urges from unknown parties. It is of the utmost importance that you know yourself and by that I mean your guiding principles that see you through and if anything comes to you that is not yours, take steps to alleviate the urge. Know that it is not you !

memries
01-11-2006, 19:57
Breezes.. I am very glad you posted your happening this Halloween Eve with your grand daughter. It is very disconcerting for you and I can understand how you felt like running up and down and crying. Sometimes things can be just so sad and we are unable to change the course of events that bring them about.

You are not alone in your condition but I know that is no comfort whatsoever. I do not know if you believe in God or not so it is difficult for me to give any input. My anchor has been Jesus in my life but I am not trying to put forth any religious belief in this forum as we all have to find our own way.

I do think you could develop to the best of your ability a Spiritual Life for you are living one anyway. Find some type of help. I have found the Spiritualist Churches are very broad minded and non judgmental. I am not really that but I do go and have found Meditation Classes that suited me and done lots of things that way. You do not need some regimented person counselling you who has never had a similar experience. They simply do not understand. Start a very quiet search and when you find someone then listen to them.

This forum has many knowledgeable people participating from all over the world and there is a lot to be learned on here. Even by just reading. Sort out who you are for yourself and start from there. If you read something you do not like then just discard it and do not bother. Be discerning for yourself. If you come across an idea that seems to suit you then investigate more and if the belief fits then adopt it. Tell yourself that you are free to do what you will.

celticnoodle
02-11-2006, 02:22
memries, excellent advice for breezes, in my opinion. i too am very spiritual, and find peace in Jesus. I also don't want to sound like a 'nut', but prayer really seems to help me, and i meditate while praying every day. sometimes i miss my mediation/prayer session, and feel empty. it's very calming and refreshing.

breezes, i'm so sorry to hear about your twin granddaughters dilema. it's a terrible thing when children have to suffer. i hope that soon your granddaughters will find peace and their father will realize how lucky he is to have children, and become more involved in their daily lives. i hope you too, can find some peace, and as memries mentioned, it is something you have to find on your own--whether it is meditation, prayer, or both or just talking to someone. good luck.

Kahlie
02-11-2006, 03:26
Dear Memries,

Thank you for explaining, now I get it! I usually think the other way around - I get to be like 'them' - because I'm experiencing emotions that are theirs. Your way to see it is quite interesting. I never thought of it that way. Although they get energy out of me, most people are unaware of it, so I never did think of it that way! Such an interesting perspective!

celticnoodle, I pray a lot too! Twice a day, and it does help me a lot too.

Kahlie

ravenest
03-11-2006, 09:24
Condolances Horace. I am glad you kept up the visits ... imagine how you would have felt if you turned away from this person just before she died? And imagine how much she appreciated those last moments of connection.

Nursing homes and the like can be intense places, with lots of 'down' energy. I have seen how simple things can lift the spirits, including treating the patients in a way that maintains their remaining self - respect.

I would not call myself an empath but have a stong Cancerian nature. In the Thoth tarot, the card that represents me is the Queen of Cups and AC says that she has no real personality herself but reflects those around her (so maybe I am not an empath but a refector?).

When I worked in the hospital it was, at times, quiet difficult as I would have psycosomatic 'inhereted' symptoms of my patients. It made assisting in the operating theatre rather difficult. I remember once during a hip transplant the surgeon asking me why I was limping badly all of a sudden.
I couldnt work in eye surgery ... my eyes totally freaked out.

I have noticed that at times (outside of the hospital environment) when little other help or medication was availible and someone was in pain I would try to alliviate their suffering by taking on some of it ... I'm not sure if it ever worked.

The again I have often been described as having a 'stong constitution' (which probably means you dont notice how bad it is until its too late), I image that these things and whole lot of others are a lot more difficult for others with a different constitution.

And none of this post has been about crystals or herbs ... whoops.

Dancing Bear
03-11-2006, 10:00
Horace, I hope You and your friend are doing well,
and may your friends mother go gently. :love:

Breezes, I really feel for you,and your grand-daughters, I hope the hurt heals quickly. :love:

I have always also been an empath/sensative I have learnt now to block it out and protect myself, unless i want to take it all in.. At times i slip up and absorb everything, but most of the time now i can tune out..It is so much better not to take on everyone elses emotions, I can feel my own now :)

Tarotphelia
04-11-2006, 01:55
Safe passage and good wishes for the departed lady .

That said , we must not always assume that because one is elderly, infirm, needy , etc , that they are all sweetness and light , dear souls, etc . Sometimes they are far from it. And we should have a firm base in reality if we are involved in otherworldly things or we may come to regret it.

A technique I read on the internet has worked well for me. If you suspect your energy is being drained you bring the white light down through your crown and project it outwards in a stream from your solar plexus . That way the person can use it if they must and you are not drained . It may also keep some people from being invasive with you .

Horace
04-11-2006, 02:46
Well, I'm happy to report that Dorothy left completely this morning. They actually found a lavendar coffin with pink lining, her two favorite colors!
And after much reading and research, I'm even happier to say that I don't have the responsibility of being an empath. I can't see that I have any of the attributes of that phenomena. I think I'm just somebody older people like to hug because I'm short and more their size! and I'm a happy person.

I must admit that this has certainly been an enlightening and informative thread.

Here's to ya, Dorothy, see ya later....Hh

Tarotphelia
04-11-2006, 03:06
That's lovely Horace . You're probably a lot better off not being an empath. Because if you were , you might be seeing Dorothy later on , after the funeral . Late at night..and she might not want to go away ..

Which is one of the reasons I don't go to funerals anymore !

(Happy Belated Halloween)

memries
04-11-2006, 07:43
Horace, such a relief for the lady although I am sure the family feel the loss greatly. I am glad you researched the subject.

Dark Inquisitor , I think your comments were very apt and Horace could do that and I will also do that, ie, the white light going into the crown and being projected through the solar plexus. I have never done it quite that way and will be happy to try !

Ravenest, I certainly admire all the great work you have done at such a price to yourself. It must have been very difficult at times for you. To care so lovingly and kindly is what humanity is about. My hat is off to you !

Tansey Ella
04-11-2006, 22:47
edited

memries
06-11-2006, 20:47
Hello Breezes...when you are in a thread you can go to the top and click thread tools and follow what it says and it will save the thread for you so you can find it again easily. Then when you come back on line click the "Quick Links" at the top of the page and it will say "Watched Threads" and take you right to where you want to be ! Just a tip.

I do not know what gd's are and trying to figure it out. You certainly had an interesting happening in the above post. You can pm me too if you want to. Just go to private messages on top and send a message.

Alta
06-11-2006, 21:40
I do not know what gd's are and trying to figure it out.Not to speak for Breezes, but pretty sure the gd's in question are granddaughters.

memries
07-11-2006, 00:16
Thanks Marion I wondered but could not define anything else. Maybe Breezes will find us again and answer !

Tansey Ella
07-11-2006, 12:15
edited

memries
12-11-2006, 01:48
Hello Breezes... pets are such a comfort and cats are usually so very undemanding that they really are a pleasure to be with. They never argue with you either.. lol I do not have any pets right now.