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Tor
23-09-2002, 06:08
Dear Neptune...

I can't keep this for myself anymore.....just have to let it out. You see.....I have a crush on you!

It's so strange that I have these feelings for you now, because earlier I really hated you - messing up my life the way you did. In my chart you are square my leo sun and conjucting my scorpio south node, and I now realize that we were meant to be from the beginning of time. Hope you share the same feelings...

Why do I love you then...? Well, I think you're the closest thing to the loving God I believe in, and I guess that you - as the ruler of Pisces - show me the hidden things behind the struggle here on earth.

You make me dream the sweetest dreams. Not like the bad ones at night, but my daydreams of another world, of another dimension. I have realized I'm a dreamer... Some of my friends laughs at me and don't respect me, cause they know I'll never carry out my great plans. That's a bit hurting sometimes, but then you comfort me with saying: "It doesn't matter".

These words - it doesn't matter - is one of your favourite wisdoms in life. When I - the big leo who want's to conquer the world - put my energy in a project, you come and whisper in my ear: "Don't bother".

I was so angry with you for a time, hated that you were in my chart - cause all I saw from you was this dissolving effect. I wanted to build up my ego, to create a great life - but you came and said the words that made me see the future. And what I saw was that I was on the same spiritual spot as before. So I agreed with you.......don't bother...

Instead i laid down on my sofa and begun eating from your fruits. I listened to music....

How can you make something as beautiful as music, I asked you. When i waited for your answer, you gave me a daydream of your very source.....the loving and heavenly made heart of you Neptune. And I cried...

I want to go there one day. Many people see your dreaming effect as negative, cause it won't bring any bread on the table. But I have bigger plans for myself than to live in this demanding and cruel world... And you'll show me the way won't you...?

I have tried some of your darker fruits too.....alcohol and marihuana. It opened my eyes to many things......it made me very spiritual. I saw that we live in illusions......that the core in my soul is free from everything. But you scared me too... You see, I'm just a human and not a God like you.....so it was just too much for me to handle. Therefore I quit using both alcohol and drugs. But I got your message...

You know I'm heading towards my north node in Taurus in 1st house. In the beginning I thought this meant that I was going to leave you, but now I know better. You will always be by my side.

I will try my best to bring your higher love and insight to the grounded Taurus, and as I use the energy in 1st house' initiative and newborn, creative spirit - I will always think of your words "don't bother" when I realize it's my ego that want's action - and not your collective, divine and higher love.

I know you now....that you bring lessons in my life, and that you stand for a future that make the strings in my soul so exstatic! But though I have this crush for you, I know that we can't merge toghether right now. You don't want that either I think. You want me to bring your spiritual fruit from the deep sea to your brother earth, and I will...

Taurus is not so stubborn and facts oriented as many thinks. He also like to meditate, and to enjoy whatever his senses fill him with. He's ruled by Venus. I guess I can call her your little sister. She brings your love and beauty down to earth, and makes me use my senses.

I shall send my greetings to her from you. And I will try my best to love her like I love you. But it might take some time... So please be patient with me. It's not easy to go from your dreams to a grounded love...

Well, this was all for now Neptune. You know I'm a bit shy, so please don't tell anyone about the crush I have for you. Let's keep it as a secret.......thi-hi :)

Tarotphelia
23-09-2002, 07:14
Wow! That was just the most beautiful thing - Balder, you are a secret poet!

Tarotphelia

Tor
29-09-2002, 03:15
I had a wonderful dream last night...

It's now many days since I wrote the love letter to Neptune. And I finally got response in my dreams.

I was dragged into a kind of black hole where I lost my consciousness and was in a sort of trance for a while. I woke up (still in my dream) and thought of this strange power, and I had a clear idea to buy books about Neptune.

Then I really woke up to real life, and had such a wonderful feeling. I placed my order at amazon for a liz greene book about neptune and remdemption. She's a great author. I have a book about Saturn that she wrote, and I use it a lot! She has deep insight!

Hope it will bring me some answers. I just know that Neptune isn't all about illusions like some says, but that it has some wonderful secrets to reveal.

It's so easy in this result-oriented world to see Neptune as bad.

But it's the ruler of both Pisces in astrology and the sea in mythology. Life comes from water. The earth is mostly water. Our body too. So why shouldn't Neptune have something good as well...?

Water is love. And isn't that the greatest thing of all...?

SherryZoned
29-09-2002, 03:19
wow Balder.....I am happy for you!

Laurel
30-09-2002, 05:54
That was so incredibly inspiring, Balder. Thank you for sharing both your love letter and dream with us all.

Laurel