Strange connection with a deck

I like the gothic tarot of vampires but I don’t want to use it for readings. The fact is that when I look at those cards memories from my childhood (6-10 years old) come in my mind. These memories are little events or bits of conversation between adults that a child don’t understand in their real meaning, but now I do. There are bad ones and good ones but all of them are like the pieces of a puzzle: they find perfectly place in my life and make me understand better myself and things that are happening now.
What scares me is that these memories have been buried in my mind for 15 years and now simply looking at this deck’s cards they arise.
I think psychologists will find interesting that the shadows of my past are enlightened by a deck so dark

Have you ever experienced something like this or are tarots driving me mad?

In situations like this I always find the Tarot is calling us to revisit, explore and finally really put to rest the issues that have arisen. Perhaps you are called to this deck not to read for others or even for yourself, but simply to explore more of yourself, your life and your past. You never know, this could be a whole new beginning for you

And yes, I have experienced something like this, believe it or not with a Native American Medicine Card deck.

I have an interesting connection with my deck. Every time I shuffle the magician card pops up or falls out of the deck. Its odd...I wonder what it means?