Feedback

Hi AT community!

This is my first thread! Yeee! I had an experience these days that I thought about and I think that you can help me with your opinions. In a reading exchange, I received a nice reading from a member of AT and, in return, this person asked me for another reading. I did my first reading, through which I thought all the questions had been answered. I received the feedback for this reading very general, nothing specific.

After that, this person, being a tarot reader themselves, asked me for another question that I thought was pretty clear from the first reading. Of course, the second reading came out to say more or less the same, with some more details. I guess it happened the same as it happens to me when I read over and over for myself, the cards just tell me to give it up! LOL

Anyhow, I didn't obtain much feedback from this reading. Instead, the person said that it was wrong and that they would answer why on the next day. The day passed by, and nothing happened, so I PM'd the person asking for their feedback, to what they said to me that my reading was confusing to them.

After that, I offered to lay out the reading again, perhaps explaining card by card. Being a tarot reader doesn't guarantee that we are first nobel prizes in writing, right? But the person kept saying that I confused them even more and that I needed more practice.

I am cool with that, I know already that I need more practice. But why not tell me Where I failed or What I failed to see? If this person is in denial, then I understand, perhaps they didn't like what I saw in the cards, which happens sometimes. But coming from our own community, I am very disappointed on this person and perhaps I was expecting a better learning environment.

Shouldn't we know that we need to help each other in this environment? If not, why even be here at AT? Also, have you had similar experiencies here at AT?

I am grateful because I've learned tons since I joined this forum. It has been one of my best experiences with tarot: to be able to share with others that have my same passion.

Love,

S.

Schehrazada said:

Hi AT community!

This is my first thread! Yeee!

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congratulations on that!

Schehrazada said:

Anyhow, I didn't obtain much feedback from this reading. Instead, the person said that it was wrong and that they would answer why on the next day. The day passed by, and nothing happened, so I PM'd the person asking for their feedback, to what they said to me that my reading was confusing to them.

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this has happened to me before too. Just forget it and move on. It could be that the person truly forgot---sometimes we do.

Schehrazada said:

After that, I offered to lay out the reading again, perhaps explaining card by card. Being a tarot reader doesn't guarantee that we are first nobel prizes in writing, right? But the person kept saying that I confused them even more and that I needed more practice.

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very nice of you, and they should have accepted that---at least it may have been made more clear to them this way! No, even tarot readers get things wrong, and also have difficulty in getting the information they see across to the receiver.

Schehrazada said:

I am cool with that, I know already that I need more practice. But why not tell me Where I failed or What I failed to see? If this person is in denial, then I understand, perhaps they didn't like what I saw in the cards, which happens sometimes. But coming from our own community, I am very disappointed on this person and perhaps I was expecting a better learning environment.

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yes, i agree. this is a learning site, and you cannot learn if you are not told where you make a mistake. if the receiver has a better idea of what the cards could mean, i feel like they should offer it to you. sometimes when you see it from their point of view, you have an 'aha!' moment.

Schehrazada said:

Shouldn't we know that we need to help each other in this environment? If not, why even be here at AT? Also, have you had similar experiencies here at AT?

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yes---of course we should remember this. we are all here to help one another and learn from one another. i am sure i have had these same kind of experiences, but truthfully i cannot think of one to bring up here.

Schehrazada said:

I am grateful because I've learned tons since I joined this forum. It has been one of my best experiences with tarot: to be able to share with others that have my same passion.

Love,

S.

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great! glad you are learning so much here---i am too. it's really helped me alot. i agree, that it has also been one of my best experiences with tarot too! i've always 'grew' up with tarot, but have not learned as much as i have here.

don't hold it against them. maybe they were afraid to be honest with where you made your mistakes. maybe they truly did forget to give more feedback. or maybe you did hit on something that they choose not to face, as they are not ready to do so. If the latter, it could be that to face it is too difficult, and so they are unable to offer feedback to you as a result.

just move on, and hopefully this will be the only time you experience this, but I doubt it. try not to take it too personally. just move on and offer another reading to someone else for the practice.

oh, i do now recall an exchange i accepted with someone here. a member here offered a reading in exchange for a reading. they provided the question to me immediately after I accepted the exchange. i did their reading immediately and since it was pretty personal, I PM'd it to them directly. Tehy provided feedback to me, but never did my reading. I asked for it once, but still no reading. This was many mos. ago, and to date, I've never rc'vd the reading. Oh well---it happens. However, now I remember not to give out the reading to the person who initiates the exchange until I receive mine first. I may do it right away, but I just save it in my folder until the exchange is in my court.

The Zone

Please try not to take it personally. Learn what you can here at AT; take and give in equal measure. Treat every experience here as a learning experience. There is a zone to place oneself when reading for others; it is slightly detached. Try to find that peaceful zone.

I know what you guys are talking about. I now only trade with people on here that I know. There is a group of us that are always on here and I trust them to not stiff me or give half-ar$ed feedback.

You will learn in time and until then, don't let it get you down. Not everyone considers their word to be important. But most of us are okay!

You know, AT is a big community----huge, really----and like in any community, you encounter all kinds of people with all kinds of motives and ways of interacting. I've been here for about three or four years now and the overwhelming number of my experiences have been good, some were extraordinarily good, some not so good, and some were stinkers. But the stinkers were (and are) few and far between. I've been asked for readings by PM, which aren't allowed according to the rules. I've had a trade or holiday exchange or two that was less than smooth or equitable. And I think sometimes people join the forum and manipulate the rules so they end up getting free readings because that was their main motive in joining. Sometimes people get so offended by a reading they don't agree with that they don't want to speak to the reader again. It takes all kinds, as they say.

My advice is to do what I do. Just make sure you've done what you know you're supposed to do and then forgive the people who don't have the same ethics you do. Follow the rules, don't let anyone else use you to manipulate the rules if you can help it, but if it happens inadvertently, at least you know your conscience is clear. Also, be aware that things do happen outside a member's control. Accidents and illness for themselves or close family members, computer crashes----anything can happen to botch a trade or other interaction. I try to think the best by giving the benefit of the doubt and move on.

In my exchange thread, I'm trying to just stick with the one reading offered and then one opportunity for questions about something not understood within that reading and then drawing the line there. That's the only expedient thing to do with so many on my list, for one thing, but I also know from experience with reading in general (not just here at AT) that the "oh, just one more question---can you do a quick reading?" can go on way too long and I'd rather not do that. Don't be afraid to politely draw whatever line you feel comfortable with and then stick to it. I also requested that the interactions be in the open on the trade thread itself, and with the exception of giving someone a heads up that their reading is ready or asking them to post more information on the thread, that's where I've done it all.

Oh, and welcome to AT! I'm so glad to see you've posted your first thread! Good job! I hope you'll post many more and be an active member here. I've enjoyed your posts so far.

Don't worry about it. I have raised the issue here before of people not feeling able to post honest feedback and discuss it if sitters think readers are wrong - I think partly it is all a bit too NICE here and people are afraid to cause offence - so how do we learn. I want to KNOW if I'm seen as off base, in case I need to work on something.

The issue of not wanting to argue because you know in your heart the reader is right is another possibility....

Congratulations on your first thread, by the way. Scary posting it, isn't it - I remember mine so well............

Welcome & congrats on your first thread

Unfortunately this does happen, best just take note, don't read with this person again & let it go. If you want more practice, there are many organised exchanges where you are less likely to be left in the lurch - Circle of Stones, Intuitive Tarot, Intuitive Oracle, Soul Exchange etc .... hope to see you over there

x Huredriel

I will comment that the rules of the Forum can only possibly apply to formal arrangements made, in public. Arrangements made via PM are private and you are just as on your own re enforcement as anywhere on the 'net.

Marion
co-moderator, Talking Tarot

This is true, of course - but people who won't give you honest feedback and discuss it are a pain and very unhelpful.

Moral - don't do them by PM (we sort of aren't supposed to anyway, are we ?? unless they turn out amazingly personal....) - then at least OTHERS can comment !

Thank you everyone!

Thank you to everyone for your kind feedback!

I think that next time I will follow Gregory's suggestion of doing exchanges on the open forum because, as Marion mentioned, PM's are out of the scrutinity.

I guess I am too passionate about learning and I feel I depend on others to do that. Tarot is an exchange at the end of the day. Solitaire is right, this is a huge community and we are all going to find different people with different ideas and ways of doing things. I feel that I should have not taken more than the first reading, but then I learned my lesson by making a little mistake. LOL

Sinduction's idea is also very good. I have met some wonderful people that I have done exchanges with and to the day I keep close contact to know how they are doing and to speak about life in general. Also celticnoodle's mentioned about an exchange not happening well for him. This can be a bit frustrating.

Balenciaga, you're right, it's important to feel dettached. I'll work on that, as well, although it's going to take me some time. I feel it's part of growing, like learning to read for the ones close to you or even for yourself.

Thank you everybody! You have been very helpful to my learning experience!

Best of the best,

S.