Can you ask client for question

pixie65

My friend and i have just started reading for each others friends of friends (if that makes sense) to develop our readings, but we were wondering whether it was ok to ask the person you are reading for what their question is?
We have come across people who dont want to give their question and although sometimes when reading the cards it is obvious. at other times we just dont have a clue and we didnt know what other readers do?
I was hoping someone could give me some advice on this?

Lou
 

greycats

Hi, pixie65--

To a new querent, I say something like "we can start with a general reading, but if you have a specific question you'd like to ask, then we can focus more on that area."

If the person doesn't have a question or doesn't want to reveal it, then s/he gets a general reading. However, often enough as the reading progresses a question reveals itself very clearly and then the reader can go into some depth. Often I've had to go back to the beginning and reinterpret, but nobody's complained. Sometimes people have to "break the ice" with "generic tarot" before they feel secure enough to reveal what they really want to know. I don't mind giving it to them.

*general reading: one which touches on various, often unrelated concerns. Everything gets the once-over, but lightly. ;)
 

Grizabella

Reading without a question is called "cold reading" and I don't like doing it that way. I find that it's usually people who are trying to test you or test the tarot to see if it's for real who want you to read without a question. I've done readings like that and may end up doing some more, but it's much more helpful to the person you're reading for if they have a question. And preferably if they also give you some background for the question so that you can know precisely what to ask the cards.

Maybe you could explain to them that the more they can give you as a background, the more helpful you can be to them and the more information you can get from the cards. It's not "cheating" to do it that way.

People think you're not a "real" reader sometimes if you don't do cold readings and you ask for background information. I tell them "I read tarot. I don't read minds." :)
 

Sinduction

Maybe I read differently then most people do but my readings are always conversations with my querents. If you don't know what's going on how on earth are you supposed to help them understand what the cards are telling them?
 

Alta

I prefer to know the question. I had a family member insist I do a general reading, and when it was over looked at me coolly and announced that they had wanted to know about their health. Leaving me wondering why not just say that in the first place?

Start a dialogue, chat them up before you even start. Make it clear that your reading style is interactive and only they know the reality of their own lives (this is not actually true given the human abilities in denial, but it breaks the ice).

Reading without knowing the question can certainly work, if the cards give you a clue right away, but frankly it can be a waste of time for everyone under certain circumstances.
 

Glass Owl

Solitaire* said:
I find that it's usually people who are trying to test you or test the tarot to see if it's for real who want you to read without a question.
I have seen this "testing" of the cards and I hate it. In retrospect I shouldn't have even done the readings but that's family pressure for you. The two of them wanted to see how the cards "worked."

It's like the cards became circus animals and they want the animals to not just be animals but to perform tricks for them.

The first person, Mary*, tuned out after the second card. I think she expected flames or sparks to come out of the deck and she was very disappointed that it didn't happen. What really sucked is that deck we were using was the deck I had just bought for her as a gift. While at the bookstore she had seen this deck and wanted it. (She hadn't owned a deck before.) So I bought it for her as her birthday present.

For the second person, Jennifer*, I didn't even get to finish the reading, if you want to even call it that. By the second card she got cold and defensive. She didn't want to communicate... it was like she wanted to hear that she was going to win the lottery or something like that. Jennifer* didn't want it to be about tangible or "real" matters. By the third card she abruptly turned around and started talking to someone else and basically blew me off. It was a five card spread. She actually then said to me later when I asked her if she wanted to finish the reading, "Why don't you just write down the cards and Mary* can tell me what they mean later?"

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent/guilty.

Solitaire* said:
People think you're not a "real" reader sometimes if you don't do cold readings and you ask for background information. I tell them "I read tarot. I don't read minds." :)
Exactly! It seems that a lot of people want to be lazy and uninvolved. They want someone to just tell them the answers...as long as it something they want to hear :)

At work I'll have people stand right next to the large sign which state the hours that the store is open. Then when they ask "What are your hours?" I point to the sign and say, "The store hours are posted here on this sign." I say this because the hours vary on different days and even if I mention them all no one ever remembers all of that or they walk away before I finish.

Then, without even looking at the sign, they sigh and ask again. "Well, what time do you close today?" If the time I tell them is not agreeable to them then they actually make a big production out of reading the sign (in the hopes that I am wrong or lying to them) and then say, "Why? On the sign it says that you are open until xx time on Tuesday."

Which I then counter with "Yes, we are. But on Saturday we close at xx time." Then, they ask "Why?" again to which I say, "Because those are the store hours. They are posted on the sign."

The danger with asking a question is getting an answer you don't like. Maybe that's why some clients don't want to ask a question of Tarot in the first place.
 

Pao

From a readers stand point I would like to know the question or at least the area they want to kno about, health, love, work etc. I find it difficult to look at all the cards and "assume" the topic I am supposed to be reading on. so I would ask "is there anything in particular you'd like insight on?"

From a quarants stand point I know when I go to my reader she always does cold readings and general ones and its true i did felt like i was testing her to see if she was legit. she says everything the cards are saying which can be 3 different areas of my life and tho sometimes I like this, most of the time I have only one thing worrying me so I would like her to foucs on that. The last time I went i felt pushy b/c I actually said "i only care about my job" and if she would go off onto something else I'd be like "yes ok but my job" lol i felt bad but i dont care about love right now i need moneyyyyy help meee lol.

So I would like to know the question and to ASK the question. sometimes i feel like if she's not legit I am "helping her" con me but i guess thats another topic entirely.
 

lark

I do a two card draw right at the beginning of the reading...the first card is what is upper most on their mind on the inside, and the second is what they are showing to others on the outside...these two cards often show their true question and concern...and often become the question for the reading.
I developed this after haveing so many people say they had no question.

I do not like doing cold readings...I have forund they often bring up deep dark things people do not really want to talk about.
So I tell my clients that at the beginning...that tarot when left to it's own devices will often go to the very deep heart of a dark place you might not want to explore today.
So if you came with a specific concern lets just cut to the chase and let the tarot talk about that.

Most people when they come for a reading have a question...the people who keep insisting they do not are often there for an entertaining little game of "Test the Psychic."
They might be wasting their time and money on a cold reading...but its their time and money and often thay walk away with a new respect for tarot after winding their way down a long dark hallway of magic mirrors and things that go bump in the night....things they never thought when they sat down tarot could tell them.

If you really are uncomfortable doing a reading without a question I've found also that asking them to narrow their interest down to an area helps ...like would their interest lie in...... Relationships...children...work...hobby...health...spiritual walk..ect.
 

pixie65

Thanks

Thank you all for youre help and advice. I will feel more confident now on asking for a question, i Also think that if a client does not wish to ask but has a question in mind i will give lark's 2 card draw which i think could work very nicely.
Once again thank you Lou
 

Durant Hapke

right...

Brothers, and Sisters,

This notion, as spelled out by venerable Glass Owl:

"... It's like the cards became circus animals and they want the animals to not just be animals but to perform tricks for them..."

Is right on, right on.

I feel this all the Jack bird time.

Folks are always tripping on their own "trips," and looking at the 78 with uniquely personal (cynical and/or dismissive) "spectacles."

Often, I feel sorry for the cards, and just want to put them at ease, put them safely away, but they don't want to go out like that, they mummer a need to "stand their ground"... Or at least most seem to prefer that.

Sometimes, I just circumvent the entire issue with a bit of drawing (to distract, and remind others of the power of images on paper).

Durant "I'm working it with my mind" Hapke