Using a deck you hate ...

Okay, maybe hate is too strong a word.

And you probably think 'but what would be the point?'.

I used to have this friend. And she had a boyfriend.

There was no mistaking that he didn't like me. And I didn't like him.

But we both loved her. So, often, we would all go to places together. Me disliking him. Him disliking me. The two of us loving her.

But on occasion, she would be away for the weekend. What's to do? Of course, I had other friends, but sometimes, they were busy etc. And this was the same for the boyfriend.

So, in short, we would contact each other. And sometimes, we would go out. Me disliking him, kind of. Him disliking me, kind of. And we would have great nights. We were never disappointed by each other, because we never had any expectations. We just got on with it and had a laugh. If the other one ****** off for a bit to talk so someone else, that was fine. But we always had each other to walk home with, talk about the mutual friend/girlfriend and people at college. And maybe we didn't get on so badly, after all.

Recently, I suggested this, in terms of tarot. What about working with the deck you really do not like. All of that 'oohh, ahhh, i love it' is taken out of the equation and you can just get on with what you are supposed to - read. It becomes a tool, like any other.

I bring this up now, because my friend is going on holiday [not the friend I have just been talking about]. We were chatting about her deck and somehow got on to the fact that her husband might find it while she is away. I said 'you could always drop it in here'. She said 'you can use it if you like'.

Ahhhh. It is the Gilded. The one deck I have always had little time for. I had it once, myself. And it was back in the box and bag within about 45 minutes. It made me feel sick and even though I appreciated the marvolous skill of the artist, I just couldn't work with those images.

But it gives me an opportunity to try this experiment out for a week. To see if it still effects me that way. To see if hate can turn to love. To see if emotional disconnection might be an interesting thing in reading.

What do you think? Would you?

LB

Yes, I think so. Though to be frank I have never had a deck that I disliked quite that much.

To go back to your people analogy though, I have had similar experiences of being forced together with people I disliked and actually finding enough common ground to learn from each other. *shrug* So, it can't actually hurt you, so go, see if there is any common ground. Learning experience and all that.

M

Little Baron said:

What do you think? Would you?

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Oh yes definitely. Sounds like a real chance to liberate your mind.

I'm trying to think if I ever really hated a deck I traded--don't think so. Most I just didn't use, but an actual aversion and dislike--don't think so.

I actually know how you feel. I really, REALLY, dislike the Rider Waite decks. I have the Radiant one because it is the one I find the least atrocious of them all. I'm in a position now where it is being used in an online series of courses. I was hoping this would help me to appreciate the deck more and open me up to new possibilities, but I just can't take it. To have to meditate on the images that I find so distasteful, well... it's difficult...to put it mildly.

There is a lot to love in the Gilded, I hope you can find a way to make it through. At least you can say you tried. Perhaps you might learn something from it, after all.

Maybe you could do one of those new deck spreads to find out what the deck wants from you, what it has to offer you, etc...

Maybe I'll do that with the rider deck.

Good luck,

Commiserating with you ,

Disa

yes, L.B. I have a deck that I don't seem to be able to connect with either. I loved the art work in it, but I just pull it out of the box and seem to think 'yuck!'. However, every now and then, I do pull it out again, and try to use it, hoping that one day will be 'THE' day, and we will connect. Maybe, I'll go try it again today---you've inspired me to try again!

Thanks for the responses.

I like what you say about common ground, Marion. I think that sometimes, the decks I love and which comfort me do not challenge me enough. I am pretty used to a lot of them, which sometimes, doesn't really push me. And because they are easy on my eye, a strong response is not often forced. In a card deck that I might not like, I am put in a position where I need to look around and through the offending image and see what is on offer and if there are parts that I could be tolerant towards.

And room, yes, very liberating, which is why I have agreed to look after it and take up the challenge. I think 'hate' is a strong word, on my part, but I did have a very strong aversion to many of the faces in it. That '9 of Cups' has to be the most vile version I have ever seen. And there is a couple of faces that look like they have been photoshopped into position from photos. Whether they have or not, they have an awkwardness to them. Will have to sort through and see if I can find those ones again.

Disa, yes, a new-deck spread may be good. One of the reasons I decided to look after it for just over a week and a half is that I am thinking of turning professional. I have had some business cards made up and I really 'want' to go for it this time. The opportunity of borrowing the Gilded reminded me of how many professional readers said it was a 'crowd pleaser' - that querants either requested it or commented on the way that the colours and images stood out. If there is ever a posibility that I can make this deck work for me, it might be a consideration for the future. Even though I have found it sickly, as a whole, I can see why someone having a reading with it might find it magical.

Ok. So it is here. My friend dropped it off a while back. I am flipping through it while I write to you. So far, so good, until I get to The Lovers. In terms of my tastes, this one doesn't sit so well with me.

Moving forward ... nice Justice .. Death does it's job in a simplistic fashion ... there is our horny Devil [I shall look forward to him popping up :devil: ].

Generally, the Wands do not bother me. Apart from that creepy B-Movie '9 of Cups' guy, the rest of that suit are no too offensive either. Nice '2 of Swords' .. and '5 of Swords' .. and the '9'.

I must say, I could do without all of the animals. The cat in the '6 of Cups' is too much. Looks strange, in terms of perspective.

And then we have pentacles; even though, they remind me of trays. Ah, this is the one with the man with the funny head. The one I mention that looks like it has been stuck in from a photograph. It's on the '4 of Pentacles'. He reminds me of those things you get at the seaside, when you put your head through the hole to make a funny picture. Generally, a nice suit though. A 'very' nice young man on the 'Two of Pentacles'. I'd take him home to meet my mother

And finally, the courts. Some snotty pages, I must say. And personality-wise, I think it a shame that we cannot even see our knights The queens and kings are all very alike, arn't they? I don't get much personality from them. That 'Queen of Wands' is very Elizabeth Taylor.

So, anyways. I don't love it. But I don't hate it [apart from the '9 of Cups'; that actually makes me feel a bit ill]. I am indifferent to it. And that is GREAT. Because that is what I wanted. I wanted this to be a tool for me, in experiementation, not unlike the knife and fork I use for my meals, the travelcard that gets me to and from work every day and night, and the laptop that means I can communicate with you guys. I don't love my knife and fork, but it provides a link between me and my food. And that is what I want to try and get from the Gilded, while I use it. I want to pick out what is needed in an unemotive and clear way.

So we shall see what happens.

LB

Oh you are cracking me up!!!

Some of the things you pointed out are the same ones that got to me in that deck as far as the images of the faces seeming to be just popped in there. The courts are virtually unreadable to me.

But the magician, the hermit, and the 6 of swords are images that are forever burned into my mind as the standard of what these cards should be. Some of the cards are soo lovely, that I can begin to allow the others to drift off (and become indifferent to them).

I had put the deck away completely once I realized the Fool card resembled George Bush-I just couldn't use it at all. That was about a year ago, but now, these days, I've had occasion to pull the deck out again and I realize it is a PERFECT fool card.

Push on, brave warrior. Go forth and master this deck.

Disa

Disa said:

Oh you are cracking me up!!!

Some of the things you pointed out are the same ones that got to me in that deck as far as the images of the faces seeming to be just popped in there. The courts are virtually unreadable to me.

But the magician, the hermit, and the 6 of swords are images that are forever burned into my mind as the standard of what these cards should be. Some of the cards are soo lovely, that I can begin to allow the others to drift off (and become indifferent to them).

I had put the deck away completely once I realized the Fool card resembled George Bush-I just couldn't use it at all. That was about a year ago, but now, these days, I've had occasion to pull the deck out again and I realize it is a PERFECT fool card.

Push on, brave warrior. Go forth and master this deck.

Disa

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you both crack me up! yes, I'd forgotten that the Fool looked like George Bush! I actually do like the deck myself too, but I also have a problem with that cat in the 6 of cups. It's just so out of place. I never really cared for that card or the 9 of cups. that guy and his smile---it's just wierd! however, the courts don't bother me and the other cards are okay too---some really wonderful. i never cared much for the magician either. he's a bit scary looking to me.

My Dearest Ell-Bee;

Please remember when playing with another’s deck to always wear a tarot condom.

There are some decks I just am unable (or perhaps unwilling) to really play with. I admire them once, and send them on their way, and that’s it (the Gilded is one of them).

Other decks, I’ve admired them, sent them away, and later (in some cases, years later) called them back and really enjoyed them!

Now that guy you shared a friend with, that’s one thing, and I understand about having never disappointed each other, and not having any expectations.

But some decks (opinion alert) are horrid companions whereas others rock. The Gilded and the Fenestra…?

I really enjoy the sensuality of taking a new deck, and playing with it to get the stiffness out.

Couldn’t even go there with those two. Maybe someday I’ll be slutty enough to enjoy something I don’t enjoy…but now? Life’s too short.

Hi Umbrae

I am fully protected as I play. Believe me.

I understand where you are coming from. As you have known me for quite a few years now, you know that I also like to challenge myself with things, and in that, I often find new ways of looking at things, which I find of great benefit. I have decks that I really lose myself in. But I also like to try, on occasion, to pick the lock of doors that I have either been shut out of [The Voodoo, Tavaglione, as examples] or that I threw the key away myself [The Gilded, Mythic]. Having said this, there will never be a day when I would welcome the 'Tarot of the ******* Elves' back into my life.

In conversations, I am aware that I am not the only one that found the Gilded not all it is cracked up to be [even though I may have been one of the few that stated it on occasion], but looking at it today, I am reading between what lines there are and I am finding it an interesting exercise for me, in terms of learning to be tolerant and not so dismissive. In life, generally, my tolerance is not so good. And this is one step towards appreciating the cup being half full, as apose to being half empty. My time with this deck may be short. After four hours or so of it sitting on my desk, it is already longer than it was last time, when I packed it back into it's box and sent it off to the shop, pleading to be exchanged for a Visconti. I suppose I just want to see if I can get something from it. As I want to go professional, I very much want to find a selection that please others, as well as me. I think I have gotten to a point where I can read with most packs [Enochian, completely an utterly does not fit into that bracket ] and think it might [if this works] be a very inofensive deck for the public. At the moment, as a reading deck, my only serious critisism is that the courts are very alike and overall, it does appear pretty busy. It doesn't have the stark simplicity that makes decks like the Renaissance [Lyle] and Morgan Greer easy to read.

LB