Help!! My friend is afraid of me!

I was wondering what I should do about a friend of mine. I was talking to him about tarot and as soon as I started to mention readings he was like, "Don't do one for me." I asked him why and he couldn't give me a straight answer. He then told me about an experience he had with a palm reader. She started to read his palm without his consent and before she could say another word, he told her to stop the reading. He explained to me that he didn't want me to "tell him his future".

I was trying to explain to him that tarot is a tool that can be used to find out things like that but more importantly, I think, is that it is used to find out more about ourselves and the parts of our lives that we may not want to see or what we should pay attention to. I also told him that I wouldn't just start doing a reading without his consent.

Afterwards, he still told me no. I never met anyone who didn't want a reading before, even if it is just for fun and not going into anything too serious. It doesn't help that I am highly attracted to him. I told him how I felt and even though he doesn't feel the same, we are still friends. The biggest problem I am having with this is that he is the easy-going type. He has such an open mind, but when it comes to tarot, forget it, that door to his mind starts to close real fast.

I don't know what to do, I want him to be able to fully understand what I do and not feel uncomfortable or feel like tarot is something wrong.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I can't really see what the problem is.
I know loads of people who wouldn't want me to read for them, that's their choice and it doesn't bother me at all.

Not everyone thinks tarot is OK and that's up to them, as long as you're happy with what you're doing then that should be enough.

Maybe you should ask yourself why it bothers you so much. Is it because you really want to read about him and maybe see how he feels about you but now you feel as if you can't because he's told you not to?
If that's the case then it's your problem not his...

I say respect his wishes and move on.

I cannot say I have any advice for you at all in this area. But I encountered the same problem this week with my youngest son.. who is in his 40's by the way.

I was at a sincere loss for words which is pretty unusual for me. Unable to communicate that which is so important to me and for him although he does not know it at all.

It was more than just Tarot Cards, which I know are pieces of paper. I tried to tell him about Mythology and Archetypes and Symbology, etc. To no avail.
I realised it was his lack of acceptance of ANY spirituality. It is a matter of perspective after all. This from a kind, loving, generous, caring Father and Son. (It is a matter of "seeing" through the same Eye..which is not what is happening).(That by the way was from the Synoptic Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John... meaning seeing through the same eye).

The conversation is not over.. it may just take a few years ! LOL

I am writing this because of what we have in common. Someone we care about a lot and yes even your expression... "He is afraid of me", comes into play here. I have developed quite a bit of power over the years and use it only for the betterment of all, with wisdom. I sense what you are saying very well. And it is true they are.

Maybe you could find out what it is he feels and believes and once you get that down pat think about your approach. Take your time and wait for the moment.
I realize your need and it is not just about the cards at all but that comfort level with someone that is so important. That acceptance of who you are and your acceptance of who they are even though different.

Part of what you both have in common with your reluctant potential subjects is that you are emotionally involved with them and in a role where maybe they don't want to lose control of how much of their private life they want to reveal to you or when it is revealed to you. (That is, the fear isn't of YOU, per se, but of finding themselves in a dialogue with you that goes into areas of their life they don't want to discuss with you until and if they are ready to do so.)

Take Tarot out of it. Would you pester this person to give up private thoughts beyond the boundaries you otherwise have set in place? No? Then don't do it with Tarot as the weapon to wield that power - it's still the same thing.

Some people choose not to go into business with personal friends and family, some choose not to select them as their family doctor or therapist or confessor. And that's an entirely legitimate choice and sometimes good advice... you want to know that after the session is over, all that private stuff isn't suddenly going to be coming up in every conversation you have afterward with that person. And that is seriously their choice, not yours.

And if a person isn't interested in your brand of spirituality, no matter how good for them you believe it might be, it's just not a great idea to keep pecking at them about it. Honestly, even if I loved someone to death, I'd stay way off the subject of their religious and spiritual views, especially if I knew they were vocally saying that had some longterm goal to convince me to agree with them. That's just a total energy suck to deal with.

I do understand wanting to have the people you care about accept the things that are important to you (I get sad when my teen doesn't understand why I love my favorite movie, much less Tarot) but you aren't Tarot - they can accept *you* and your interests without having to join you in them. They respect you by not griping at you for being involved with it; you respect them by not insisting they join you in it in spite of their saying they don't want to.

Insert 'fishing' or 'monster truck rallies' or 'going to flea markets' or 'eating cream cheese and green olive sandwiches' or any other activity you can think of for 'Tarot'.

I agree with Sulis - you need to respect his wishes. As a general rule, I wait for people to ask me for a reading.

A friend of mine once picked up tarot and read for her partner - the reading was dead on, but he never wanted another one and the whole thing seemed to spook him. We all come to our learning in our own way, at our own time.

Saturn's Winter said:

It doesn't help that I am highly attracted to him. I told him how I felt and even though he doesn't feel the same........

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and therein lies the conflict.

clearly, there are other dynamics at work here and you're not being objective about this

but I agree with Sulis.........the bottom line is, you need to respect that persons wishes....

it seems to me that your motivations for doing a reading are all wrong since there's every indication that it is for your benefit and not his

Sulis said:

I can't really see what the problem is.
I know loads of people who wouldn't want me to read for them, that's their choice and it doesn't bother me at all.

Not everyone thinks tarot is OK and that's up to them, as long as you're happy with what you're doing then that should be enough.

Maybe you should ask yourself why it bothers you so much. Is it because you really want to read about him and maybe see how he feels about you but now you feel as if you can't because he's told you not to?
If that's the case then it's your problem not his...

I say respect his wishes and move on.

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Well said.

Leave it - why does it bother you that she doesn't want a reading? A reading is a free choice, not an obligation! I wouldn't want to sit through a two-hour lecture on comparative tax rules, even though a friend of mine gives that kind of lecture and is passionate about the subject. It makes me cry with boredom. I don't even want her to talk about it when we meet for a drink. She's polite and we have lots of other things in common - so she doesn't. I suggest you see tarot and your friend in the same way.

One day your friend might change her mind - and you can be there for her . But if not - choose to do tarot for your own spiritual development, and to help people who want that kind of help.

I have had the same experience. I have even had friends look at me differently once I told them I "believed in the cards". Some people think it is stupid, or superstitious, or unenlightened (like the Dark Ages).
If I were you, I would just drop the subject and skirt around it like others here have said. Talk about everything else you have in common and forget Tarot with him. You can read about him anyway!

read about them even if they've specifically asked you not to? sure, you can...but should you?

My standard answer to being asked if I really 'believe in Tarot' (usually asked from a cynical base) is that I don't have to believe in them - they're right here, where I can see them, and then ask if they mean do I believe something specific about them. Either they let it go or they explain what they believe I believe about them, and the way is open to correct or explain my philosophy regarding what Tarot is. Usually when they ask the question, they've got some misconceptions I'm glad to have the opportunity to clear up.