Should Tarot be kept a secret from those who don't approve?

My four year old loves to watch and participate when I do my readings. He is very partial to my African Tarot and my World Spirit Tarot, and likes to try to do his own shuffling and tell his own stories when I let him (I'm fussy about people touching my cards). I've been thinking of really encouraging him to read by actually GIVING him his own deck. He's very intuitive - we often play a game with the elevators in our building where we guess which one will arrive first, and he is almost ALWAYS right! He also picks up on emotions very well and his imagination is wonderful as all kids' are. The problem is, his father (we don't live together), and the rest of our family would not approve, and because he is only a child, naturally our lives are an open book - he tells everyone EVERYTHING. I'm worried that our family will try to stifle his gift, and I DON'T want him to feel that this is something he should be ashamed of. Any ideas? Do I wait until he's old enough to understand why?

o_q,

You don't want him to think that tarot is something he has to keep hidden, but you also don't want to teach him to be disrespectful of his elders. At that age, I fear if you to explain to him that it's OK for him to use tarot around you, but not around other people he won't understand. Also if you try to explain that some people don't understand or agree with tarot and that's OK but it shouldn't effect how he feels about it that he won't understand that either.

So, yes I would probably wait a little longer before giving him his own deck. You could compromise I guess by purchasing a deck for him but have him believe that it's your deck. And when you think he's ready to understand that what other people feel doesn't have to affect how he feels about tarot then you can actually give him the deck.

Until then, I definitely think you should encourage his gifts. He might be able to understand that things like using his intuition is a special game that he and mommy play and that he should play other games with other people. That way you can still help to hone his skills without making tarot something that needs to be hidden.

Hope something I said is of use....
Rodney

I have always hidden stuff like tarot from family members.
They wouldn't understand, they would just be upset and frightened.
I don't see any reason to upset of frighten them.

So, because I care about them, I protect them.

Can you not explain it to him as a private thing ? Something that he shares with you for now ? (and as long as he hasn't the cards with him, would the rest of the family have the remotest idea what he was talking about anyway????)

My daughter just turned 4 and sounds very much like your son. She loves to watch when I do readings and likes to play with the cards. I gave her the children's tarot on her birthday - it wasn't a big hit! I was very disappointed so I pulled out the Hanson Roberts and she wasn't into that one either.... but I don't read with them - I read with more expressive decks and I am betting that had something to do with it.... but I put them away and if she wants them at a later date then so be it.

Anyway I expressed my disappointment to my Mom and she got all bristly when she realized I gave my daughter a deck. I wasn't about to discuss it with her. It was nonnegotiable! She was raised Catholic - catholic schools and as much as she gets a kick out of me reading and wants me to read her I am sure she can't shake her upbringing totally. The funny thing is I got slammed by a querent the other day who was twisting the bible to suit her needs and my Mom hotly defended my tarot reading so go figure.

But my opinion is what I do, I teach her to be open minded about everything. I trust her intuition. She is very empathic. She can read my mind and always has been able to... But we are close and with one another all of the time. I believe all children are very gifted at birth ~ it's what we as parents and society do afterwards that determines how that will grow. I want her to develop these abilities to their fullest. Definitely encourage his abilities...I will borrow your elevator game...

Maybe you should save the cards for a bit... I thought she was ready but i guess not - she has never asked me what I do with the cards and I am not so sure she knows what a reading is....we pick a card and I let her tell me what she sees or thinks it means... that sort of thing but that is about it.

Narrow mindedness and intolerance makes me ill but I am not so naive to think it won't hurt you if they find out... talk to your little man I am betting he understands what the deal is... I know my daughter does - she shocks me!

I hope that helps somehow...

Thanks guys. I agree that maybe he might be too young. Along with the fact that I don't want him being ashamed of his intuitive ability, I don't want to endorse the habit of "keeping secrets" so early. I expect him to be honest with me and with others as he grows up and I can't do that if I'm willing to compromise when it suits me. It's a bit of a catch 22 because he really does enjoy participating with the tarot, and it's amazing how clearly he picks up things that I never would have seen. I guess for now as Rodney suggested,
I'll just help him nurture his intuition with innocent little games that turn out to give him a major boost when tarot finally makes its entrance in his life.

I admit that when I read your title, I got all fired up. "Heck no, nobody should hide a part of themselves just because other people don't like it!" Then I read the thread and realized that we were talking about a little one That changes things a bit.

I agree with others that you may want to wait awhile. Even as an adult, I do be careful about who I am around when I talk about the Tarot. (I refuse to "hide" it because it's a big part of me, but I'm not going to sit there and go on and on to my friend who comes from a religious family.) Little ones don't always understand that, and even if your son does...he's still a kid. He's going to get excited about it and he may blurt it out in front of some relatvies that you'd rather him keep it quiet around. In a few years he'll be able to master that discretion and you'll be able to share it with him fully.

Hmm...it seems my initial response to this either somehow never got posted or was deleted by the moderator. I think it was the latter. Perhaps I was too harsh in regards to those who would most likely be offended? The following is less harsh and (I think) less incendiary.

I think that secrets are bad for everybody. Especially with your child at an age where they aren't especially great at keeping secrets! I think as long as it just remains something he "plays" with and you aren't teaching him concrete religious truths when it comes to the cards and intuition, etc., you should be fine.

Regarding my original post, it was kind of a rant, and I apologize if anyone saw it and took offense. It's just I live in a place of incredible religious intolerance and lately have been a bit frustrated by it. I just don't understand why we, as Tarot readers, have to be lumped in with a negative thing like evil devil-worshipping cultists all the time. Next time I'll keep my religious frustrations confined to the Spirituality forum where they belong...and be more polite. Consider me disciplined.

I don't have any children, so I can't know what it must be like, but it seems to me that you should be proud of yourself, your achievements, the fact that you have a son that you love, and the fact that Tarot, in some way, helped you achieve all of that. Or is at least something in your life that you enjoy.

Why not teach him to empower himself with the truth, instead of fearing what people may say? The more something is kept secret, the more taboo it becomes. And anyway, he's your son, bring him up in the way that you feel is right, all anyone else can do is suggest.

He's your son, yes... But he is more than your son... He is an independent soul in his own right, and he entrusted his wee soul to you to nurture him and his gifts... to steward him... to enlighten him... to guide him... to prepare him...

Everyone else can shove it.

*s*