Unwise questions

[earthair]

Unless it's you as reader being asked by your querent a question you don't feel personally comfortable interpreting then you have the choice not to answer. I personally wouldn't answer questions on death and health. You are not obliged to even read any of the threads on 'your readings' and should keep in mind that the 'your reading' thread is for learners and if more experienced readers don't find the question appropriate then it's as simple as not helping with the question. What one person may deem appropriate, another may deem inappropriate, tolerance is the key.

It's not a question of tolerance, but of gentle guidance! Tarot is only a useful tool if used wisely. I get concerned when I see learners asking very serious/morbid questions and then getting upset and fearful at the cards, especially when they ask a yes/no question to a 'blob' type spread . If Tarot readers really could predict certain events we wouldn't have a bunch of analysts snooping on us would we?

If readers just ask questions related to certain events hypothetically for practise, then all well and good.

@Nisaba - I almost choked laughing!

 

[morphine]

But I do think there are questions that you may not be able to interpret accurately and are best left alone. Medical questions come to mind, or questions about a third party, or specific questions about a future love interest (what does he look like, what color is his hair,etc). These questions because I think it keeps a person stuck or in the case of medical questions could lead the person to not seek out a doctor when they should.

Do close family member count as third party?
I mean with those you live with, who in my case manipulate everyone in their line of vision.

 

[gregory]

Questions I have actually been asked:

I want to know if I will outlive my husband because don't want him to inherit my wealth and I have no children.

A paedophile has been released from prison and has settled twenty minutes' drive from my home - will he attack my kids, should I keep them inside at all times?

How do I make so-and-so fall in love with me? Can you make so-and-so fall in love with me?

Will I get away with it if I cheat on my tax?

Is my boyfriend a creep or is he okay?

How do I get my wife to leave me? (Just act like your normal self, you cowardly jerk!)

I'm pretty sure my sister stole my mother's engagement ring because I don't like my sister. How do I prove it?

Why does he hate me when he should love me? <bursting into tears>

Why won't he change for me? (They never want to know how THEY can change for HIM).

THESE ! Also third party - we all have our own stance on this - but CRITICALLY - questions that need expert knowledge (health in particular, but also finance and the law.)

Because without that specialist knowledge there is every possibility that with the best will in the world, you will miss or misunderstand something, and unwittingly cause harm.

I am trying to make up a scenario that would work here - wild stab - you pull cards with loads of water for someone with a pain in their back, you say it might be their kidneys and suggest lots of fluids; they actually have a ruptured disc and they leave it too long to see the doctor and their spinal cord is damaged.

If there is a doctor in the house - look, I SAID I made it up and it is probably an impossible scenario - but the TAROT side holds up. And not strictly tarot, but several of us will recall the member who got "medical" advice in another part of the forum here, took that advice and didn't see a doctor in time and DIED.

 

[khatsar]

I don't think there is any universally unwise type of question...to me it's all about attitude. If you take the cards as immutable gospel rather than a source of helpful information to consider, you're doomed from the start no matter what you ask. If you are being obsessive or engaging in stalking behaviors, then even a seemingly innocuous question is "unwise."

I rely on my gut and my guides. I say a small prayer before every reading to make clear my intention only to transmit helpful truths to my querents, and specifically truths that are conducive to their growth. If I feel uncomfortable about a question or the attitude of the querent, I find myself unable to center myself well enough to read.

Perhaps the only type of questions that make me truly uncomfortable are ones centered around manipulating others. It's one thing to ask for advice on how to improve a relationship, and another to ask how to make someone feel jealous or bad so that they will come back to you. I don't ever want to help anybody do harm to someone else. Most other things are fair game to me.

Most of the readings I do for myself are centered around spirituality and romance since I feel I need more guidance in those areas than I do in my financial and health sectors. I'm an air sign and a scientist, so I'm good with logic and reason...not so much with the feelings stuff. My guides are pretty patient with me. When I start getting obsessive or carried away, the cards gently tell me to put the deck away and take a d@mn nap. No harm done.

I fully concur with posters who've noted that it's a good idea to consider whether we WANT the answer to a question before we ask it.

 

[EyeAmEye]

I don't believe there are any questions inherently unwise.

There are, however, unwise querents and/or readers. On the querent side, one's intent makes the questions potentially unwise, as does what the querent does with the information received. For the reader, reading on a question that is beyond their ability is unwise.

 

[Grizabella]

Unless it's you as reader being asked by your querent a question you don't feel personally comfortable interpreting then you have the choice not to answer. I personally wouldn't answer questions on death and health. You are not obliged to even read any of the threads on 'your readings' and should keep in mind that the 'your reading' thread is for learners and if more experienced readers don't find the question appropriate then it's as simple as not helping with the question. What one person may deem appropriate, another may deem inappropriate, tolerance is the key.

I agree with PeonyInLove on this. Newcomers find it hard to think of questions they can ask the cards so they often grasp at things to read about. I don't see anything wrong with that most of the time. And far be it from me to judge them anyway.

There are two biggies for me:

Is my SO cheating?

And is so-and-so gay or lesbian?

Those two questions really aggravate me. I don't like them and I won't do readings on those two questions. I don't go high and mighty and holier-than-thou on my sitter over it, but I just explain that those two questions fall outside my comfort zone. On the first one, a wrong reading could break up a family or even cause bodily harm and/or death to the other spouse and on the second, it's nobody's business what another person prefers to do in their private lives sexually.

Those are definitely unwise questions.

Something I've noticed in the years I've been reading is that if you try to read about a crime that's occurred or a missing person, the cards don't seem to want to respond in a useful way for some reason. Although it's not unwise to ask the question, I've just found that it doesn't really seem to result in anything useful.

 

[Annabelle]

I don't read on "big" questions -- things related to politics, economics, national or global issues, etc. -- not necessarily because I would deem it unwise, but because I just don't think it "works." I have no confidence that I'd get a worthwhile answer; too many variables are involved.

Truly unwise questions, in my opinion, are those that serve only to keep the questioner in a state of emotional distress no matter what the answer is -- i.e. "Does my ex still think of me?" "Does my ex still read my twitter feed?" "Does my ex's new girlfriend really like him at all?" etc.

But I don't have to worry about those sorts of questions, as I don't read professionally .

 

[Holly doll]

The ones I feel are unwise & I've refused to read on are:

Is my SO cheating with his male flatmate?

When is my husband going to die - I want him to go before me, that way I get a little peace from him

What is my ex thinking of me now?

Does he know I've changed my FB picture? Does his new gf know I track her on social media?

They look happy in that holiday photo - are they really...?

How long before her marriage falls apart so she can be with me?

We've been apart for 7 years, does he still think of me, & if so what does he think, does he miss me?

Is my business partner stealing?

When's my manager getting fired so I can move into her job?

 

[SunChariot]

Sorry if I offend anyone on a certain thread in the readings section, but I think there are some questions which it is wise not to ask...for instance yes/no questions on the subject of national security, 'will x person die tomorrow' etc!

Does anyone else have any further questions which they view unwise to ask?

Definitely questions on how to harm people, how to take revenge...Would not touch those with a 10 foot pole.

Also something I learnt when I started to read and that I now do really believe in...that it is not appropriate to ask the cards what you should do. The cards are there as a took to help us decide, but not to decide for us. We still have to make our own life decisions as there are important life lessons in the decision making that we need to learn.

I get a lot of querents asking what they should do and I tell him imo that is not an appropriate question and why. There are a number of other ways around it. Like asking the consequences/outcomes off all the choices the querent might make. And then they can choose the one they like best.

Or determining what it is the querent actually wants to accomplish and asking the cards the best way to get there.

Eg if they want to know what they should do to feel better we can ask what can the do (or what they need to know) to feel better. If they want to know what they should do financially we can ask what steps they can take to end up in the best financial position. Then they can TAKE them and create that future.

Pretty well any question asked for a negative reason, without real concern for any others involved in the situation would feel wrong to me. I would not read on them. I have of course refused to read on certain questions when they set off my warning bells.

It also doesn't tend to be wise to ask the winning lottery numbers. LOL It never works anyway or all readers would be millionaires. If you are not meant to be a millionaire the cards will not answer that question. If you are meant to be one, then you will be no matter what you say or do and then there is no need to ask.

And yes I agree, it does not tend to be a good idea imo also to ask when someone will die. I have had people ask me if their family member will survive an upcoming operation. I had to stop and ask her if she REALLY wants to know that. What if the answer were no, does she really want to know that a month in advance before the operation takes place. The woman who asked me that immediately said NO when I pointed that out.

I have often had to do that, literally ASK people if they are SURE they are ready to hear whatever comes up. Telling them that once I ask I have no control over what comes up. So on touchy difficult topic I ask them if they are SURE they are ready to handle anything that may come up. Often they say no. Sometimes people just want a reading for comfort but dont realize the cards may not give them a different answer from what they hope for. SO on hard questions (life and death), I make sure they are ready to hear anything that may come up or I will not ask for them. And even then some quesitons I don;t feel totally comforatable with.

I have to play that by ear. When I feel uncomfortable with a question, i don't read on it.

Babs

 

[SunChariot]

The ones I feel are unwise & I've refused to read on are:

Is my SO cheating with his male flatmate?

When is my husband going to die - I want him to go before me, that way I get a little peace from him

What is my ex thinking of me now?

Does he know I've changed my FB picture? Does his new gf know I track her on social media?

They look happy in that holiday photo - are they really...?

How long before her marriage falls apart so she can be with me?

We've been apart for 7 years, does he still think of me, & if so what does he think, does he miss me?

Is my business partner stealing?

When's my manager getting fired so I can move into her job?

Wow, these so set off my warning bells. I'm with you on most of these!

I would never ask

When's my manager getting fired so I can move into her job?

How long before her marriage falls apart so she can be with me? (Makes you wonder if she left her husband and married the querent how long THAT marriage would last. The person asking that obviously cares a lot more about themselves and not much at all about the person they think they love. Breakups are very painful. When two people are married, even more so than if just dating. Wishing a breakup (or worse a divorce) on someone is pretty selfish, the way I see it. To me, even if the marriage is shaky and breaking up, rooting for the breakup shows an insensitivity to the one you say you love. Like Yay I am about to get what I want even if you have to be really hurt for me to get it.)


When is my husband going to die - I want him to go before me, that way I get a little peace from him. Wow! I've actually had a similar one. I refused to read on it of course.

Babs