Problem with Peace and Quiet

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 12 Aug 2001, and now archived in the Forum Library.

StarShine	12 Aug 2001
I know that I can't be the only one out there with this dilema. I have a 10 year old daughter, a fiance, and a cat. I am rarely to never in the house alone, and if I sit up late, after all are in bed, I am trash the next day. It seems like no matter what I say or do, someone always interrupts me when I am trying to do a reading or pull a personal card or whatever. Either that, or I can hear the TV or the stereo in the background. If I put in earplugs, I get a tap on the shoulder. HELP! All of this is very distracting! How do you find peace and quiet

raeanne	12 Aug 2001
When my boys were younger, I had to set certain times when I was “not available unless someone is bleeding or not breathing”! I would not answer questions or solve problems during this time. At first my two boys would still come and interrupt but I would not answer their question until the time I had set. It took awhile for them to get use to it. I bought one of those fake clocks with the plastic hands that say “Be Back Soon”. I would hang the clock on my bedroom door and they finally gave me my private time.

MeeWah	12 Aug 2001
StarShine: It's important to set limits not just for one's own piece of mind & private space, but to teach respect for same. It helps to establish some ground rules & to be consistent. With 4 kids, their friends & a hubby who likes to turn up the sound on the telly & stereo, I had to set limits years ago. I insisted my kids be considerate of family members & of guests; to respect each other's private space including not entering anyone's room without permission. A closed door automatically means do not disturb, so knock first. If I am on the phone, whatever it is will have to wait as long as it is not an emergency (I explained what an emergency is & what it isn't). If anyone is inconsiderate of me during "my time" or phone call or whatever, that person is denied a privilege in accordance with the "offense", such as having friends over, the use of the phone, etc. Fortunately, hubby has been very supportive & runs interference. Even when he's not home, I only have to mention I'm meditating, praying or doing a reading. To avoid problems, I try to let my family know what my plans are ahead of time. If I meditate in my bedroom, I shut the door. Since I do readings in my kitchen, I let my family know so they can use the kitchen ahead of time. The kitchen has a door which I sometimes shut during an in-person session, depending on what is going on in the house. The family knows when I am busy they have to answer the phone or the door. When the kids were younger, their bedtime was "grownup time". That was usually when I had some time to myself. Now that they are older, it's easier. Being firm about what your expectations are & how it could work to benefit everyone could be the beginning of an investment in your own time & space. Good luck!

blue	12 Aug 2001
I agree completely. Guide lines should be set and enforced. I the mean time a lock bathroom may be your only haven.

Rhiannon	13 Aug 2001
I can totally relate to this problem. I have 3 children ages 7, 4 and 2. A husband who is hardly ever home before 9pm and when he gets home doesn't help much cuz he's recovering himself. I've actually found that my cards sort of understand the situation... funny. They are very patient. As far as my daily card pulls go... I've started bringing my cards into work with me and doing a daily pull before anyone else gets in... It's the only time I have to myself! :) Rhiannon

purplelady	13 Aug 2001
For about $10 at Kmart , in the paint and hardware section , you can buy a doorknob just like your regular one but with a little latch that you can lock from the inside. Just remove old doorknob with a phillips screwdriver and install new one . It's easy,and will help give you the sense that even when you hear them knocking at the door, they cannot come in!! ^_^ .

arizonagirl	13 Aug 2001
A locking doorknob won't prevent them from knocking, or the dogs from scratching at the door, or husband wanting to know where he can find whatever it is he misplaced, etc. After everybody has been attended to, after the cats, dogs, horses and chickens have been fed, I have my private time - just a few tiny minutes where there is no demand on me.

StarShine	13 Aug 2001
I only wish it was as simple as locking the door. The problem with that is, other than the bathroom, we have no doors. Our house is over 100 years old and very small. The bedroom doorways are arches and it would cost a small fortune for doors on them. We have curtains up now for "privacy" but that is it. I do like the idea of one of those "Be Back at..." signs. Can you set those for NEVER? Thanks for all the great suggestions! Keep 'em comin'!

tarotbear	14 Aug 2001
I HAD the ideal situation: I rent a room from a couple who owned a restaurant, and I worked nights, so we almost never saw each other! That is how I found the quiet to work on a manuscript all winter. This spring they closed their restaurant, remodelled the house kitchen, and now cater from out of the house. Now we are home all the same time. When I am at my PC, they have no concept that I am WORKING and cannot write while stupid lawyers are arguing for obnoxious clients, or Bob Barker is trying to find the Right Price. If I have to do rewrites on my books this fall/winter, I'm not sure what limits I can ask for since it is not my house. :-( My immediate alternative is to get rid of my bed for a single one and bring the PC and everything up to my room.

The Problem with Peace and Quiet thread was originally posted on 12 Aug 2001 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.