... Are you out of the Tarot closet?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 01 Feb 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

divinerguy	01 Feb 2002
When it comes to my family, I have disclosed my passion for the tarot only to my wife and son. As my family are traditional roman catholics, I fear the hue and cry that would be raised if they were to become aware. I can imagine them trying to perform an exorcism over my evil bones. Overall, it aint worth the hassle. So, I keep it quiet. My profession as an attorney does not help when it comes to my desire to be open about my life's choices. Also, my community is just to the right of Mussolini, so I gotta be circumspect there too. What are your stories? Gary

Scorpion	01 Feb 2002
I can sympathise - my father's side of the family are strict Roman Catholics (my grandparents were Italian) and I can imagine the fun and games! My partner was brought up strictly Protestant and, while he knows I have Tarot cards, he doesn't want to know any more. He refers to it as my "wickedness" and knows he's being irrational but part of him regards the cards as truly coming from the Devil. He also believes that the Death card can cause people to die! His three young sons have all insisted in having a look and, being boys, one in particular is absolutely fascinated by the Death card (I think is making a point to himself that he can hold it and nothing bad happens! He's adopted my Arthurian deck as his own - it's a great way of getting him to read and listen to the stories) and another uses my Inner Child cards to make up stories (which inevitably are crammed with the Swords suit and any other swords he can find!). Ironically, the place where I have "come out" is work- I'm a secretary in a large firm of solicitors. The interest there is very strong, mainly from the other secretaries although a few of the bosses have booked me - a lot of lunchtimes are taken up with "quickie" readings which help me keep my hand in and lead to paying readings (obviously I can't run a business on the firm's premises, but I'm certainly never going to go short of food!). In fact, I'm off later to be the entertainment at someone's "girls' night in".

faunabay	01 Feb 2002
I guess I'm pretty lucky with this. I think all my friends and family know I read tarot cards and love it. They all call when they have questions! LOL I don't go out and shout it in anyone and everyone's face but I definitely don't hide it either. I've had no problems what so ever. But then I live in a small metaphysical community. It's in the middle of a hickville state (arkansas) LOL but the town and immediate area are wonderful!!!!

bec	01 Feb 2002
As for my own family they all know - some makes fun of it and others make use of it, thatīs bout 50/50. My family-in-law on the other hand got no clue and will never get it, they are so restricted and judgemental on how others should live their lives that I really donīt care to tell them. Not that I donīt dare - but they really donīt mean all that much cause of their behaviour, so if they never ask they will never know. As for friends, loads knows and they all find it very interesting though many of them donīt dare getting read - so much for liberation I guess :D

truthsayer	01 Feb 2002
when i was a child i wasn't in the closet w/ tarot b/c i didn't know any better. my mother always encouraged me to learn so i did. the negative experiences i had w/ the christian community has pushed me deep into the inner recesses of the closet. things i have learned recently about the culture of the seventies and happenings in some rock-n-roll bands like jim morrison and the doors explains to me why a few parents pounced me and shamed me about my deck. one father told my mother to burn my deck. i told her if she did i would find a way to get another. otherwise i was very quiet very well behaved teen. it was my 2 sisters and 2 brothers that taught her how bad a teen could behave! i know she wished later that the worst thing the others wanted to do was read tarot! the spiritual abuse that i took back then has really impacted my life. it's only been in the last year or so that i don't feel ashamed of my passion for tarot. with the help of some friends, i finally accepted that all of us have things that it's prob best if the world doesn't know for our own safety and protection. it doesn't mean tarot is a bad thing or i'm bad for using the cards. but there are ppl who can use such info for the wrong reasons and hurt me. it could be tarot but it could be any number of things that are simply personal in nature and no one's business. there's lots of things i don't know about other ppl so there's no reason they have to know everything about me.

Bings	01 Feb 2002
My mom was with me when I bought my first deck. She just kind of shook her head and gave me that "you are wasting your money" look. I told most of my friends right away. They know me so well, most of them just said "It's about time you got a deck". Now they can't wait for me to start doing readings for them. My husband is over seas with the military and has been there for over a year. His responce was "You are spending too much time with your sister". But he never denies me things I'm interested in and made that coment very lovingly. (My sister is Wiccan and my husband loves her but is kind of confused by her!! LOL :) ) The person I do hide it from is the mother of my daughter's best friend. She is very religious. Our daughters are very close. I don't want my interests to in any way harm thier friendship. When my husband comes home (In one more week!!!) his family will probably find out as I will be suck spending time with them. ACK!!! LOL :-) My mother-in-law will think it's foolish (she hates me) but I think the rest of them will find it interesting. I know my sister-in-laws will want readings. Dianne :)

Kaleidoscope Eyes	01 Feb 2002
Though I used to live in the city for many years, and it wasn't a big deal, nowadays I live in a small-but-growing town about 20 miles out, and I've decided the best policy is silence. I don't even speak about it to my oldest friends, but that's mostly because I know Tarot isn't part of their world, and though they'd *never* judge me for it, they'd also never relate. So why bring it up? There is a girl at work who knows a thing or two about Tarot, and once in a while it'll come up in conversation, but that's about it. There used to be another there, too, and we'd have some great talks... but she went away. :( My closest ladyfriend, J., despite a Roman Catholic background, does tend to show a remarkable interest, mainly because she sees *I'm* so interested. She's the only one I ever really talk to about these things, and more often than not, she'll ask me, "So what card did you draw today?" But she knows, as well as I, that we both live in a very conservative area, and the good Methodists and Baptists, plus a Catholic or two -- many of whom we personally know -- just might not be able to fathom an "occultist" in their midst. As it is, these folks know me and like me just fine, and vice versa, and therefore I'd just as soon not upset the proverbial applecart, y'know? Besides, I've got the Aeclectic community. What more does one really need?

divinerguy	02 Feb 2002
That's an excellent point. Although I have few people to chat with about tarot, the acquaintances I've made on this board have affected me deeply. There are actually people who have the same interests as me!! I thought I was some lone whacko for a while. Wamest Regards, Gary, the scallawag whacko

kayne	02 Feb 2002
Peoples stories are so interesting! All my friends know I read tarot and I do readings for them quite regularly. My family are Athiests and although my mum has often said during my youth that I was free to choose religion if I want... I think she was refering to Christianity... She has no concept of anything even remotely occult and to think her son is involved! Like Divinerguy said - not worth the hassle. As for work, I don't say anything unless it comes up in conversation... I don't need there judgement. Perhaps it is different for a man interested in Tarot... Ironically, I have told my family that I am gay but we don't talk about that much either... 8-) K

Kiama	02 Feb 2002
I am totally out of the closet. Have been for years. My Mum knows how deeply involved I am with Tarot, and fully respects it, but she does despair sometimes whenever I bring home a new deck, She is even okay with my 10 year old sister looking at my decks, and learning a bit about Tarot. My Dad knows I study Tarot, but that's it. He doesnt really mention it, or say anything, so I guess he's okay with it too. But then, he's neutral on most things. My Grandparents know too, and I even gave my Grandad a reading once, which was cool. All my friends know,and some are more interested in me reading for them than others. And most people in sixth form who don't really know me also know, cuz I've done quite a few readings for people in school. Surprisingly, nobody (Except for one teacher) has said anything bad about it! Anyway, I've written too much! Kiama

Pollux	02 Feb 2002
Well, I always was. No one asked me to tell them, but I somehow made them understand that. At home it's hard, as I'm often made fun of, and hardly anyone takes me seriously. UAAAAAAAAA!!!!! :'( And, as kayne and divinerguy, I had plenty of difficulties added by my being a boy, and a weirdo... but was really uplifted when I found this communtity! Maybe, you all are the only ppl I can speak of Tarot in a serious way, as I know no one around with a scrap of knowing or else. I couldn't havekept walking if it wasn't for y'all!!!!! THANX! THANX! THANX! THANX! THANX! :) ;D ;) ;-D :) ;D ;) ;-D :) ;D ;) ;-D :) ;D ;) ;-D

Marion	02 Feb 2002
I am definitely out of the closet, at least to my family and friends. Certainly never mention it at work. The problem is that even though family and friends know it, in fact I mention it occasionally, none of them seem to react at all. They never ask for readings (except my sister-in-law once) and never bring it up. The reaction is always something equivalent to raised eyebrow, without further comment. It is a lot easier to talk about it here!

MeeWah	02 Feb 2002
I am out of the closet to family, friends & to some acquaintances. A few know at work; some have been clients. The area I live in is home to a diverse humanity. It includes extremist elements who are not shy about acting on/acting out their notions so I prefer to maintain a low profile in general. As I work out of my home, the in-person readings are for clients whom I have some contact with or are by referral only. The nature of my job keeps me circumspect. I have access to privileged material so I do not want any misunderstanding to impact perceptions of my integrity. Those who have come to know me via my work accept me on that basis.

Kalin	02 Feb 2002
Oh yeah, bigtime, have been out of the closet from the get-go. Lucky me, no one's ever given me a hard time about it, though I would have expected it--same as many here, my family has a large Irish-Catholic contingent on my husband's side. If they had any negative impressions of me reading tarot, they kept it to themselves but now they all want readings. A couple of years ago at the annual family Christmas party, everyone was asked to contribute an entertainment. I don't sing or dance (and I mean "don't" in a very big way, so I brought my cards and gave readings. They've been sold ever since : ) Kalin

Red Emma	02 Feb 2002
When I began studying tarot about three years ago I was pretty wary about whom I told. First it was my pagan friends, then my family, bit by bit, then a few selected people. Then I spent two months in a Catholic Nursing Home recovering from broken bones. At first I was unwilling to even have my husband bring me a deck, but I missed it too much. After working with it by myself for a couple of days while workers were in and out of my room, I got bolder. Finally, I offered to read for anyone who darkened my door. Great fun. And I learned fast. Now I tell whomever I want and don't worry about it. I live in the Pacific Northwest of the USA, and I finally realized that we're much more liberal (politically) and accepting of diverse views than a great many other American regions. I read recently -- in the IONS magazine -- that this is the first time in history that anyone can follow any rleigious or spiritual path they please and not be burned at the stake or worse. Red Emma

Kaleidoscope Eyes	03 Feb 2002
Quote: Red Emma (03 Feb, 2002 14:55): I read recently -- in the IONS magazine -- that this is the first time in history that anyone can follow any rleigious or spiritual path they please and not be burned at the stake or worse. Red Emma I don't know about stake-burning, but it's not hard to get yourself arrested and put away in certain countries for your spiritual beliefs. Or shot at, or car-bombed, even, just because one is a Protestant, rather than a Catholic, or a Muslim, rather than a Jew. Or an "infidel," rather than a "True Believer." Myself, I don't necessarily believe everything's all sweetness and light on this crazy, screwed-up ball of confusion. The weapons business is thriving. It appears the hate business and the death business are humming along, too, and killing in the name of "God" or "Allah" is more fashionable than ever. (Thousands last September, alone!) Oh dear. I *do* so hate to be this cynical of a fine Sunday morning. ;-)

Kaleidoscope Eyes	03 Feb 2002
Oops. I apologize for going a bit off-topic just then. -rosicrux

Scorpion	03 Feb 2002
Quote: rosicrux (03 Feb, 2002 21:43): Oops. I apologize for going a bit off-topic just then. Rosicrux, I don't think you need to apologise for reminding us we're relatively lucky that, while we might run the risk of ridicule or hostility, we are unlikely to be tortured or killed for our beliefs and practices and that it is far from a perfect world. Hope you feel better for getting it off your chest!

divinerguy	03 Feb 2002
The social condemnation of one's family and friends is a far greater punisment than any prison. Gary

amyel	03 Feb 2002
I don't think I was ever in the closet. That said, I didn't share it with many ppl for a long time. As I mentioned in another post, I didn't even know what Tarot was until I received a reading and later a deck from a friend during a particularly horrid time in my life. So, I guess I thought of it as a primarily "private" guidence tool, and didn't want to share it. I still don't broadcast it, although anyone close to me knows, including my family, some work colleagues & hubs' 2 sisters. I wouldn't mind his mom knowing, but his dad - no way! Strict RC who didn't even accept me as hubs' wife, because I was #2 for the first 2 years we were married. He's come around now, but I don't "share", as I'm sure you all can appreciate. Best just to give him his Crown Royal & cola and agree with everything he has to say. Small price to pay for the 6 hours a year I spend with him. :) My mom used to do astrology - back in the days before computers made chart casting "easy" - and also has/had a set of runes. We have discussed other types of spirituality, and I have done a reading for her on occasion. In the last two years, however, she has been going though a difficult situation, and has re-turned to her faith. My sister has joined a coven and my brother married outside his faith...so I just don't talk to mom about it anymore. My sister & I discuss all things esoteric, but I'm pretty sure neither of us discuss it with our brother. (BTW, I invited sis to this site, and I know she's been lurking, but she feels like she's "spying" on me. Don't worry sis - you should know by now that my life is pretty much an open book to you!) Aeclectic has meant so much to me, to have found a community of ppl who love tarot and have so much to share and give. In the 14 - 15 yrs I've read, I've not had this. It is a rare jewel!

tarotbear	03 Feb 2002
I have been 'doing' tarot for so long that I don't think about it. I have a tarot website, advertse that I do parties, and did the 'fortune-teller' bit for a local mardi gras for years. One cannot be in a closet when one is a public personality. I am a litle skeptical about telling TOTAL strangers, though. When someone finds out I teach, they inevitably think I teach math or science or something. I usually 'size them up' before I tell them I teach Tarot card reading in Adult Ed! I get some very skeptical looks at work when I tell people what I do, but since we have a zero tolerance policy about everything at work, it's not like anyone can do anything about it, other than avoid me if it 'bothers' them so much. There a lots of pentacle-wearers where I work. My family is well aware I 'do' this stuff; my mother asked me once if I 'run my life' by this stuff. ***sigh ***

MeeWah	03 Feb 2002
The comments of Rosicrux, LouieQ & Divinerguy remind me of something my father told me that I never forgot. I was very young & inexperienced when he cautioned me to be careful to whom I discussed my/our beliefs. The irony is that a few of my relatives are highly disapproving of my beliefs & practices despite their exposure to the "old ways". They disparage it as "hocus-pocus". While there is comfort in knowing one has the protection of the law of the land to practice one's beliefs, exercising prudence & not casting pearls before swine is appropriate, too. I appreciate all the more the supportiveness of my own family, friends & the wonderful forums folk!

Hush	03 Feb 2002
im quite lucky i s'pose...i was brought up religous-less but my mums pagan so i always had that influence, and i just felt such a huuuge pull towards tarot (I'd later find out why) and then i started dating my RE (religous eduction) teacher's daughter, and my RE teacher reads tarot so i used to sit and look at her decks in awe and just be amazed as she done readings, so i just fell into it. Most people i know know, the majority ask for readings (i hardly ever do readings for friends (they usually bitch at me for that)) and are pretty impressed (always a nice ego boost :D). Most of my family know, my mum's pagan so most are pretty excepting, though my brother and dad are quite cynical about it. So as i said, i guess im quite lucky.

Mateo06	03 Feb 2002
Well I think I am stock in the threshold. I told my bro when I bought my first deck and I told some of his friends and my friends, but i haven't told my mom, and actually i try to hide it from her. I don't think she would be mad, but i guess i am afraid to what she would say. I wish more ppl knew i read because i love reading for other ppl, even though i only did it once. I got such a kick when my querent actually said i was dead on, and i knew so much. Now i crave to read for other ppl.

Madonna	04 Feb 2002
I was in the closet for over 2 decades , Conforming to herd standards was difficult. I did so for the sake of not having my children labeled.Now they are grown up & I am as the old saying goes, doing my own thing. Tarot is such a wonderful way to connect to others & to encourage . There is something about saying to someone *this is where you are on your personal life map & I am just someone you met at the crossroads you've asked to look at it with you,* that makes me feel good about being a reader. I was most fortunate to have found a best friend when doing a reading . He nows shares the same interest in Tarot & it is good to talk shop with him . I am pleased too to have found this forum . My husband is military so where the next posting will be is unknown as of yet. I may be back in the closet someday. What I have learnt from the Tarot & the connections I have made thru' it have indeed enriched my life.

Soraya	04 Feb 2002
Gosh. I am amazed at how many of you keep your interest to yourselves out of fear of other people's judgement. What a nightmare. I guess I am very lucky myself. The only reason why I have kept my interest for Tarot to myself so far is that I do not want people to ask me for readings while I am still a beginner but I am planning to coming out once I feel a little more confident about my readings. I live in a mostly Catholic country but people here are really laid back about matters of faith and personal convictions/intersts and opinons. I never realised it but I guess I'm lucky to live in such a liberal environment. I'm from a Catholic background but ever since I left convent school I'm a sworn atheist which has never caused me problems yet. I just live by the motto: Live an let live. Do whatever you like as long as you don't harm others and assume that other people do the same. However, judging by some of the posts above (and other occurences in our world) I live in a bit of a dream-world and many people still live by the narrow standards of the Middle Ages - dreading the differerent and the unknown and thus creating barriers and hatred. How terribly sad.

catlin	04 Feb 2002
Hi, Nearly all of my friends and aquaintancies know that I am reading tarot. Some think it interesting, other think it helpful, other think I have abandonned faith and will burn in hell for it :D As I have started with public readings in the last year, I may run a limited risk that one day my employer will know it but I really give no thought to that anymore. I have expierenced that life may be pretty short so why shall I bother with the eventuality of things which may happen or not. Tarot is part of my life and I will live this part!

Melvis	07 Feb 2002
I am out of the Tarot closet at work, with friends, and with some of my family, but not with my mother. Mom really wouldn't have a problem with it, but she has many old-lady, Catholic friends that would think I was evil for even looking at a tarot card, so I thought I'd spare her that aggravation. At work this week my boss saw me finishing my cards for the Aeclectic Tarot Project (finally done! Yay! :D ) and was just fascinated by them. I guess it was the first time he realized that this is something I'm really serious about, and not just a silly game I play sometimes. I thought it was just so cute, because here's this straight-arrow business owner trying to understand what the Two of Swords means! ;D Peace, Melvis

Kate	08 Feb 2002
No, and yes. Along with Tarot, I'm also trying to practice the art of non-image management. By that I mean I'm striving for honesty where appropriate and at the same time, try not to manage other's reactions to me. Such a simple thing to say, much tougher to live. So, yes, I'm generally honest about beginning to learn about the cards with those I'd normally chat to about such things - but there hasn't been a lot of interst in my interest. And I don't hide the cards when a child or spouse comes into my office, although I admit I sometimes feel like it. Yet I haven't told my mom. I suspect that's more about my mom than about me or Tarot... and mother/daughter relationships are too complicated to get into here. Really, they need an entire forum of their own. Nor have I told colleagues. I wonder if I'd talk about learning to cook or learning a new language with them? Maybe I would. Maybe I am in the closet a bit.

Kate	08 Feb 2002
No, and yes. Along with Tarot, I'm also trying to practice the art of non-image management. By that I mean I'm striving for honesty where appropriate and at the same time, try not to manage other's reactions to me. Such a simple thing to say, much tougher to live. So, yes, I'm generally honest about beginning to learn about the cards with those I'd normally chat to about such things - but there hasn't been a lot of interst in my interest. And I don't hide the cards when a child or spouse comes into my office, although I admit I sometimes feel like it. Yet I haven't told my mom. I suspect that's more about my mom than about me or Tarot... and mother/daughter relationships are too complicated to get into here. Really, they need an entire forum of their own. Nor have I told colleagues. I wonder if I'd talk about learning to cook or learning a new language with them? Maybe I would. Maybe I am in the closet a bit.

Jewel	08 Feb 2002
Yes, no, maybe ;) When I first became interested in the Tarot I was definetly self-conscious about it and what others might think. I even used to keep my decks and books in a secret place so no one coming over would stumble upon them *LOL*. I laugh now because 7 years later I could really care less who knows and who does not. I really have no one here to talk Tarot with which is one of the reasons this community means so much to me, but those who know me well all know that I am very serious about Tarot. I am not a "reader" I consider myself an "explorer" that can read the cards *LOL*. Besides it would be incredibly hard to hide my collection of decks and books, it is way to large *ROFLMAO*. If people would like to think me of as "wierd" for my interest in Tarot that is their business. I am happy and love my connection to Tarot and no one will take that pleasure from me. I don't flaunt it, but don't necessarily hide it either. Love & Light,

The ... Are you out of the Tarot closet? thread was originally posted on 01 Feb 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.