More Tarot humor
Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 20 Apr 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.
| Liliana |
20 Apr 2002 |
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Ive always loved this one, I actually do want to see this deck made, Id buy it :)
NeoPagan Tarot
a bit of Tarot humor (author unknown)
Neo-pagan religions can be fun, but some pagans
unfortunately go through a period of religious
fanaticism. And fanaticism often limits an
important part of your spirit: your sense of
humor. It takes time to recover from
fanaticism. Now there is a Tarot deck for
recovering pagan religious fanatics.
* The Neophyte
A priest and priestess stand facing one another,
performing the Great Rite symbolically by
plunging a dagger into a chalice. In the circle
surrounding them, a neophyte covers her smiling
mouth, trying to suppress a giggle.
Divinatory Meaning: Innocence. A new
beginning. There was a time when all of this was
good natured fun and not something you took so
seriously.
Reversed Meaning: Difficulty in expressing
honest laughter. You're taking this all too
seriously. Get a life.
* The Magician
The magician stands outside his double-parked car
in a jammed parking lot. He wears full
ceremonial regalia and has an altar setup. In
his hand is an open book entitled, "Incantations
to Asphaltia to find parking spaces."
Divinatory Meaning: You need to understand your
own resources better. Don't use a sledgehammer to
knock on a door.
Reversed Meaning: You have lost sight that the
map is not the territory.
* The High Priestess
A Wiccan priestess stands, arms outstretched,
wearing several pounds worth of pentacles, Celtic
jewelry, astrological bracelets, and medallions.
She looks ready to tip over.
Divinatory Meaning: You may find yourself with
sudden yearnings to join a Roman Catholic convert
or seminary. Even if you're most definitely not
Catholic. Don't scoff. Stranger things have
happened
Reversed Meaning: You are ready to liberate
yourself from the shackles of your old way of
life and to put on the shackles of a new way of
life.
* The Nature-Lover?
In the middle of the woods stands a pagan with
her face caked in rouge and eye shadow and
lipstick. She holds up a symbol of nature - a
miniature plastic tree.
Divinatory Meaning: Examine that what you claim
is your passion is something that you're really
passionate about.
Reversed meaning: You are secretly a technocrat.
* The Emporium
A pagan bookstore owner stands behind a counter
in a bookstore jam-packed with books, pentacles,
candles, Celtic jewelry, Tarot decks, etc.
Behind him a sign reads, "Pagan Emporium
Bookstore: Offering Ancient Wisdom Since
1995."
Divinatory Meaning: Don't just settle for
"Question authority." Question those who claim
to be authority.
Reversed Meaning: Question those authors who
tell you to question authority, but then still
want you to buy their books and follow their
advice verbatim.
* Grand High Muckety-Muck
A solemn Wiccan priest stands before an altar
holding an athame. Hanging on the wall behind him
is a certificate which reads, "Certified Wiccan
initiate. Certificate granted by Walt's Wild
Warehouse of Wicca."
Divinatory Meaning: Don't get distracted by
initiations, titles, special abilities, etc.
Focus instead on what capabilities you really
need to live your life.
Reversed Meaning: You have an insatiable desire
to get initiated. Consider joining either the
Fraternal Order of the Hedgehogs or else the
Order of the Co-Hedgehogs and get this whole
initiation business out of your system.
* The Lovers
A young couple are having a handfasting performed
in a grove of oak trees on a sunny summer
afternoon.
Divinatory meaning: Don't get too cynical. You
may be recovering from fanaticism, but keep in
mind that good things can sometimes still happen
in the religion.
Reversed Meaning: All you really need is love.
And if you don't want to follow that advice,
well, then, hey, the song by the same name is
still cool.
* The Broom
A teenage Goth witch runs down the sidewalk
attempting to ride a battered broomstick. A
cleaning lady with a dustpan in one hand chases
after her, hoping to retrieve her stolen broom.
Divinatory Meaning: You need to develop a better
relationship with what occultists begrudgingly
refer to as "the Mundane World."
Reversed Meaning: Maybe you really are a boring
person after all. Time to clean up your act.
* The Hungry Vegetarian
There's a long buffet table at a wedding
banquet. Whole roast pig, roast duck, baked
chicken, glazed turkey, and caved ham fill the
buffet table. One teeny tiny carrot resides on
the plate of the hungry vegetarian. She eyes the
roast pig, perhaps wondering if it might be made
out of tofu rather than meat.
Divinatory meaning: Time to change your habits.
Reversed Meaning: Go eat a hot dog on a Friday.
* The Hermit
The Hermit wears a dark gray robe and has a dark
gray beard. He holds a gnarled staff in one hand
and a blazing lantern in the other hand. He is
doing this however in a crowded movie theater,
and the theater patrons scowl at him.
Divinatory Meaning: Don't just trust yourself.
Learn what part of yourself to trust.
Reversed Meaning: It is better to have something
you believe in rather than to just knock down
what you don't believe in.
* The Wheel Of Fortune
A pagan dressed in purple and yellow robes holds
a stick of incense in one hand and a compass in
the other hand. He glares at the compass. The
needle point is spinning wildly, so that he can't
tell which direction is east for quarter-calling.
Divinatory Meaning: Don't just find a new
direction - create a new direction.
Reversed Meaning: When you think your life is
moving somewhere, maybe you're just going in
circles.
* The Skeptic
A blindfolded man stands facing a full-length
mirror.
Divinatory Meaning: You may say that there is
nothing of value in divinatory tools. But
divinatory tools are nothing more than a means of
looking at yourself. So perhaps you are saying
that there is nothing of value in yourself. A
man who swallows a placebo cannot deny his own
mouth.
Reversed Meaning: You will see through the
illusions created by others. Be on guard against
becoming snotty. Be careful that you do not
forget that even illusions have their value. A
man who imagines roses in the clouds can be
inspired to become a gardener.
|
| Liliana |
20 Apr 2002 |
|
* The Contortionist
You see a contortionist, his body twisted in what
appears to be an impossible position. In fact,
his head appear to be stuck up his own rectum.
Divinatory Meaning: You need to get your head
out of your arse.
Reversed Meaning: Even though you think that
this doesn't apply to you, you really need to get
your head out of your arse.
* Renewal
An occultist's apartment is in flames. His
shelves are jammed with ceremonial daggers,
magical talismans, occult journals/books, and
esoteric tools. Out of all of this wealth of
stuff, what will he try to rescue from the
flames? Actually, he is reaching for his cat.
Divinatory Meaning: You are about to encounter a
situation in your life where you will make
decisions that will show you the limits of
occultism. Occultism is meant to serve life, not
the other way around.
Reversed Meaning: Be nice to your cat.
* Temperance
In a candle lit room, a Hermeticist holds a rosy
cross in his left hand and a pentacle in the
right hand. To his left side is a host of
symbols of crosses and grails. To his right side
is a host of daggers and pentacles. Behind him, a
window with the shades drawn is open a crack to
reveal a hint of sunlight and the wide open
outdoors.
Divinatory Meaning: You need to open yourself up
to more than what you currently allow yourself to
experience.
Reversed Meaning: You are a freak. Perhaps you
should spend more time secluded from others so
that others do not discover this.
* The Adversary
The scene is two booths set up at a psychic fair
- each booth manned by a practitioner. The first
booth has a big sign over it, "Pagan Shamanistic
Journeying Counseling." The practitioner of this
booth glares at the practitioner of the second
booth. The sign over the second booth reads,
"New Age Shamanistic Journeying Counseling."
Divinatory Meaning: There are things that you
dislike that are more similar to you than you
care to admit.
Reversed Meaning: Stock market analysts and
weather forecasters often give pretty lousy
predictions. Don't expect a fortune-teller to
give perfect predictions, but don't look too
harshly upon them either. They are trying to get
you to understand yourself - and while they may
be dead-wrong on some of what they say, the need
to understand yourself is real.
* The Tower of Books
An armchair magician has a den jammed full of
occult books. In one armchair is a huge stack
of books almost up to the ceiling. He stands on
a stool trying to add yet another book to the top
of the stack, ignorant of the fact that the tower
is about ready to topple over on him.
Divinatory Meaning: You need to learn to put
your ideas into action.
Reversed Meaning: Clean your room.
* The Celebrity
In an occult bookstore, a pagan celebrity sits at
a book signing table, signing copies of her book,
"Witchcrap for Morons." A few feet away from the
table, a group of neo-pagans are scowling and
turning their nose up at the author.
Divinatory Meaning: It is far easier for you to
condemn what others create than it is for you to
create something that you find to be of value.
But you really need to learn to trust your own
creative projects more.
Reversed Meaning: Quit spending so much time in
occult bookstores.
* The Moon
A pagan painter stands by a moonlit window as he
paints a picture of the crescent moon. The
depiction of the moon is very well-crafted, but
then the painter is going back in and adding some
crudely designed pentacles on the moon, lest you
forget that this is supposed to be pagan art.
Behind him, his two dogs bark fiercely.
Divinatory Meaning: If you can let go of your
pretentiousness, your talents can blossom.
Reversed Meaning: Don't forget to feed your
dogs.
* The Golden Apple
Three pagan women stand wrestling over who gets
the Golden Apple. Behind them, unnoticed, stands
a giggling Eris, who holds an entire basket of
Golden Apples.
Divinatory Meaning: Keep your perspective on
what's really important.
Reversed Meaning: In order to allow a god or
goddess room into your heart, you must not be too
full of yourself.
* Judgment by Conspiracy Theorists
A fundamentalist minister rallies against a pagan
group. The minister conjures up images of animal
sacrifice and human sacrifice. Meanwhile, the
pagan group in question is sitting around in a
committee meeting eating vegan chili and tofu.
Divinatory Meaning: You need to get on with your
life and worry less about what other people
think.
Reversed Meaning: You need to get on with your
life and worry less about what other people
think. On the other hand, this doesn't give you
license to be an arsehole.
* The World in a Pack of Cards
A grungy prisoner in solitary confinement sits in
a barren cell. No bed, no food, no sunlight,
just a pack of Tarot cards in front of him. A
19th century occultist once said that a prisoner
alone in a prison cell with nothing but a pack of
Tarot cards would acquire all world knowledge.
But, well, this prisoner could probably better
use some food and some sunlight
and a shower.
Divinatory Meaning: Get a hobby.
Reversed Meaning: No, really, get a hobby.
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| Kiama |
21 Apr 2002 |
|
Thankyou Lili! Surprisingly, I actually learned quite alot from that... Don't know how but I did!
BTW: Don't suppose anyone can enlighten me as to which 19th Century Occultists said the thing from the World card?
Kiama
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| Pollux |
21 Apr 2002 |
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I wonder where you can find all those things...
You must have some secret, some ghost lurking in your PC...
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| Talisman |
21 Apr 2002 |
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Liliana,
Thanks for posting this!
People say LOL. Well, really did. Caught me wrong and caused me to spit herb tea all over the monitor screen.
Talisman
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| Liliana |
21 Apr 2002 |
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I just love Temperence, in fact I believe Im Temperance reversed, if an artist decided to draw this deck Id buy it just for that card
:THP
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The More Tarot humor thread was originally posted on 20 Apr 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.
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