Pesty people

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 30 Jun 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Kitty	30 Jun 2002
Hi Everyone, I started tarot and lessons six months ago, over this period of time people have started to hear about my readings etc. Word of mouth-very flattering but now it has become a problem for me. I am not charging yet as I don't feel I have the experience. The problem I have is that I am getting requests from people for a reading but the manner in which some of them asking is appalling- it is almost like I MUST read their cards-they think I am obliged to read for them. What is the best way to respond to these people? So far I have not read for them because I don't feel the respect the tarot.

Dark Inquisitor	01 Jul 2002
Hi Kitty, Anytime things are free you run the risk of being overrrun. What I did when I was new was to say that if I was wrong , the reading was free. If you are getting a good reputation, you are probably competent at what you're doing. Many people don't respect the tarot, and you may not be able to change that. You don't have to tolerate rudeness. But you may be able to bring them a new appreciation for the tarot with your gift of insight, and the dignity that you bring to the reading. You might consider printing up an informational paper to send them before they come, explaining what the tarot is and is not- and your views on the subject of the proper way to approach the mattter. Some of the their rudeness may be due to fear, and some I'm sure are just plain pushy. That can happen anywhere. Be sure to set firm limits, and let people know up front what you expect. Best of Luck, Tarotphelia

Umbrae	01 Jul 2002
My advice. One person, one reading, per week. No more. Only read when you feel well. If you are tired or ‘out of sync’, do not read; tell them the truth, the reading will not be accurate. If they protest, they would not be happy with the results anyway. Hurt their feelings? Not all readings will be positive. However, you will want to do a lot of readings. Start with three card spreads (for others). Do them forever. Do a lot of them. Buy a spiral notebook. Use it as a Journal (very important). Write down every reading (both cards and your interpretation). Only read for yourself no more than once a week. Three card readings are versatile, and accurate. More cards do not always mean better readings (but they look good on TV). Try readings when you do not feel well or when you feel out of sync or when you feel pressured…write this down at the top of the reading, tell your client what you are doing. If word of mouth gets out of hand, charge money ($40-60 pr half hour). Never allow anybody EVER to tape a reading. Make them write it down. Provide paper and pencil (never ink). Both the money and the act of writing will serve to bind the sitter to their reading. They expect to pay. They saw it on TV.

lunalafey	01 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae Provide paper and pencil (never ink). what is the reason behind this?

Starfish	01 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae )Provide paper and pencil (never ink). I'm intrigued... Why never ink? :TSTAR Starfish

Kyrielle	01 Jul 2002
My wild guess is you only give them a pencil because if they thought they were getting a bad reading, they could go ballistic and scribble all over the cards, thus messing up an expensive (financially and spiritually) deck. Ink you can't erase. Pencil you can. But I'm sure there must be a deeper reason for this. Umbrae, let us know! --Kyrielle

Lightlike	01 Jul 2002
And Umbrae why do you say only read for yourself once a week? I have found that readings for myself are some of the most insightful readings I've done and I'm sure others would agree. I have not seen my personal readings negatively effect my readings for others, in fact, since I'm still a novice (approximately 1.5 years experience) readings for myself is an invaluable learning method. Practice makes perfect. Sorry to ramble but this is the second time I've seen a post saying only read for yourself once a week and it really irritates me because my tarot reading development was severally lagged for several months because of someone's similiar advise.

Marion	01 Jul 2002
Lightlike, read for yourself as often as you wish to do so. I would suggest not asking the same quertion over and over. And don't ask trivial questions. You'll have to define that for yourself, but it means respect yourself and the cards. It does not mean that every question you ask must be of earth-shaking import though.

Melvis	01 Jul 2002
Okay... I thought the title of this thread was, "Pasty People." LOL! Oh, lordy, I am way too tired and hot and sweaty to be reading any threads tonight! :D Going to bed now... Peace, Melvis :TSTRE

Kitty	01 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae My advice. One person, one reading, per week. No more. Only read when you feel well. If you are tired or ‘out of sync’, do not read; tell them the truth, the reading will not be accurate. If they protest, they would not be happy with the results anyway. Hurt their feelings? Not all readings will be positive. They expect to pay. They saw it on TV. Thank you Umbrae, interesting advice, and thanks to everyone else for their advice too- great idea about printing a small leaflet to give to them to explain about Tarot and what info that can learn from the cards and what they cannot. Once again THANKS :)

Kitty	01 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Melvis. Okay... I thought the title of this thread was, "Pasty People." LOL! Oh, lordy, I am way too tired and hot and sweaty to be reading any threads tonight! :D Going to bed now... Peace, Melvis :TSTRE Ah that made me laugh out loud - pasty people!

Starfish	01 Jul 2002
I had a good giggle over the pasty people too! At first glance, it looked like that to me too. And, as a fair-skinned, green-eyed red head, I'm a member of the pasty people club! :TSTAR Starfish

napaea	02 Jul 2002
i must say that sometimes you HAVE to read for yourself more than once a week. recently i read for myself, and felt good about the situation. the next day i was reading for someone else, but half way through the spread i kept feeling like this wasn't making sense for this person (whom i don't know). i looked at the cards, and several were from the reading the day before! i re-read as if for myself, and got a lot of good advice. had to wait another day and read again for this person, but the reading was then accurate, once i got myself out of the way. this has also happened when i went to a psychic. she was trying to do a reading for my friend, but all the information she was getting had to do with me, so she gave me a free reading to shut my energy up so she could go to my friend! i agree with not asking the same question every day though.

Umbrae	02 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae Only read for yourself no more than once a week. Never allow anybody EVER to tape a reading. Make them write it down. Provide paper and pencil (never ink). Both the money and the act of writing will serve to bind the sitter to their reading. Doing a daily draw of one or two cards a day is fine for yourself. When you are new, folks have a tendency to ‘over read’. If you do not like the reading, you do a second ‘clarifying’ reading, and then perhaps another ‘clarify the clarification’… You want to learn how the cards work (speak) for you; not how your ego speaks for the cards. Often you will see new members chat about they did a reading on themselves, and then another for clarification, and then another because they didn’t like the answer and then they post “Help with a reading please” because they do not want to see the obvious. One full reading a week is just fine when you are new. Too many readings, and they get clouded by bias…and you learn nothing. Allowing a person to tape a reading, places them in a passive state. They are not a participant. They are no more active than if they were watching television. Let’s face it, you are discussing their life; they can tape their wedding and funeral. If they go to a psychiatrist, they do not get to tape therapy. You are no different, and usually more accurate and affective (and cheaper) if you are a decent reader. Give them a pencil and paper so they become an active participant in the reading. I am a pencil guy. I hate pens. Spill a cup of coffee on some important notes, and you will quickly figure out why (in archeological digs, pencils are used in case notes get rained on, or spilled upon. It is where I learned it. Never bothered to unlearn it). So give them a pencil. Further: if you are new, keep a couple of dull or busted pencils about. Do your spread. Need to think, or need time to get un-blocked? Sharpen a pencil and hand it to the sitter.

VGimlet	02 Jul 2002
Sometimes it's tempting to say, "I'm not reading for you, because you have the brains of a doorknob and an ignorant attitude, and I'm not wasting my time." But really, it's not worth the effort, or the negative energy. Usually, if you don't whip out the cards, people like that will move on to something else in a moment - it's easy to know who is really interested. A few times, when people have been really pushy, I just tell them I'm not in the right mood - which is completely the truth, LOL. I read for myself 2-3 times a week; I think the bad part about reading too much for yourself is the longer you read only for yourself, the more difficult it is to start opening up and reading for others.

Kiama	02 Jul 2002
I used to get bugged alot at college to do readings for people to.. Sometimes I was happy to, cuz they were really nice about it or genuinely needed advice... Then, I'd grab my cards and we'd go find somwhere quiet to do the reading... BUT if somebody came up to me who was either just doing it for a laugh, or cuz they wanetd to 'prove it s a load of bullsh*t' to all their friends, I would use my favourite excuse: I'm tired, and I cannot read when I'm tired. Or, I' just tell them have lots of homework to do, and pretend I do! If pople came up to me after watching me reading for another person, and asked, I'd say basically the same thing: That reading took alot out of me, and I couldn't give you an accurate reading now if I tried! Maybe some other time... It has worked every time. Luckily now I have left college, and don't get people bugging me... Although someimes I don't get enough practice,so I have to bug my friends to let me give them readings! }) Kiama PS- Umbrae, you are full of amazing ideas! I'm gonna try that pencil sharpening thing, cuz I often have to sit and look a the cards for a while before atually saying what they mean, which often makes the querent uneasy... Just for that wonderful piece of advice, you deserve KIAMA KISSES! :* :* :*

The Pesty people thread was originally posted on 30 Jun 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.