Forming a relationship with your cards

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 13 Jul 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Tarot_Freak	13 Jul 2002
Hello everyone ok i have no idea if this was brought up before but i though that i would ask. I have asked a few people and have been asked before how one can form a relationship with his or her tarot deck. So what do u guys think...i have heard carring them with you everywhere....sleeping with them.....working with them once a day...etc...so what's your guys opinion on forming a relationship with your cards???

Geenius at Wrok	13 Jul 2002
I wanted to, but my cards told me they didn't like me "that way" and asked whether we could just be friends.

Tarot_Freak	13 Jul 2002
i'm sorry i don't get that....how did your cards tell u that?

fairyhedgehog	13 Jul 2002
I just used mine a lot. I did a lot of Celtic Cross Spreads, using a book for meanings, which isn't really a good idea but it worked for me. I guess you just go with what feels right to you out of all the options that I'm sure other people will offer :) By the way, when people say the cards 'told them' they usually mean that this is what they felt good about doing in relation to the cards. Unless they are making a joke, of course.

jema	13 Jul 2002
*LOL* at genius. to answer the question - i think i would just handle the cards a lot. shuffle them, sort them, look at them, draw three cards and make them fit together, turn up card after card and make a story, take a daily card and keep it on your desk where you can see it etc. i don't think i could actually sleep with a deck, it would end up scattered all over the room. i do think it is a good idea to concentrate on just one or two decks though (says the girl who owns 48 decks) if you have several - choose one to be your main deck for at least a month or two before working with other decks.

Tarot_Freak	13 Jul 2002
ok cool thanks because like i take my tarot cards with me some of the times but not always....i feel we are close but not that close becasue i don't use them as much as i use to. But i have another question..underneath your names some people have pictures and i was wondering how you get them there

Tarot_Freak	13 Jul 2002
ohhh lol one more thing what does it mean when it says elder or citizen under there name?

niah	13 Jul 2002
Well, what I do is: Play some soft music, light a few candles, and croon to my Tarot Cards. "I want to stand with you on the mountain." Just kidding! :P I use my deck every day, and it is always correct. :) :TCHAR

wavebreaker	13 Jul 2002
When I get a new deck, I usually keep it next to my bed for at least one night. I look through it several times, just to enjoy the artwork and to get familiar with the images. I give it reiki to make it "mine". And then I do a new deck spread with it. PS Tarot_Freak: Elder and Citizen refers to the number of posts someone has made; you become a Citizen after 100 posts. And when you're a citizen, you can choose an avatar (the picture underneath your name).

Thirteen	13 Jul 2002
Tarot_Freak, I usually "get to know" my deck by sitting with it and going over the cards one by one, examining its nuiances, reading what the book has to say about each card if there's a book (NEVER the little white book--I mean if the deck has a real book that comes with it). Each deck has it's own personality, and reading through the book and examining the details on the cards is how you get to know it. By personality I do mean personality. Take the RW deck, for example. It's a quiet, patient, but generally somber deck--images and colors are like stained glass in a old church, telling legendary stories. Now switch to say, Robin Wood and you have a much more intimate deck. It's lively--lots of movement even when things aren't moving. Close-ups--meaning the people in the cards look like they're about to walk out of the card and speak to you. Colors are light, lovers are intimate. You see? Personality. Also, people tend, I think, to find that decks lay out differently. I don't know if I can explain that, but one deck I have tends to go for what the querent isn't saying. Another always goes for the surface question, rarely below it. Again, personality. Practice and readings are the only ways to get to know such things. But there is this also--when you see a deck that "speaks" to you--that attracts your eye, that you love and it seems made for you--in such an instance, you can form an instant relationship. Probably because the deck knows *you* ;-)

Tarot_Freak	13 Jul 2002
Well i have a few decks....but the one that i am using now and i love is the universal waite deck. I love collecting different types of decks but the one deck that i am using now and love would be the universal waite ^_^ i love it's softness and it's colourful nature. I find that the rider waite is very harsh....and i didn't really like it

Cerulean	13 Jul 2002
I'm curious what decks you are using when you do the 'getting to know'...I liked the answer about just being friends. Actually, I'm er...confession follows...not faithful to one deck. I like comparative readings, which means use two decks to look at ideas or questions. Some people think that's similar to reading out of two books at the same time...but I am thinking it is like looking at two comparable translations at once. So my getting-to-know you includes... 1. After I take them out of the box, sometimes I look at the booklet to see if there is a preferred order. If not, I do majors first, just looking at them for a minute or two. 2. Then I divided the courts and minors and look at swords first, wands next, pentacles third and cups last. My vague tarot in my head ordering is how do cards handle a. ideas/conflicts b. activities/business c. earthy matters/prosperity issues d. heart and soul feelings. Usually, it's the most negative or confrontational suits to the softer or feel-good suits. I generally choose Marseilles-based decks, so this just a sequence of steps that work for me. Many older decks do have some subtle decorations or coloring patterns that pick up details that you might see in the majors or courts. The older deck colors isn't so much an esoteric thing---it's usually limitations in printing. 3. Then I compare a Marseilles style deck to my new Volume II Kaplan Encyclopedia to see if there is a pattern/historical trend...haven't got volume I or III, so don't know if a newer deck would be listed there... 4. Then I try to see if it matches another deck in my collection...usually the new deck does, just cannot place it at time of purchase or looking at reviews. This can take awhile, a few days..I like the new smell of fresh inks, but to wake up to, not to sleep with...so it goes in a small bookbag. At walgreens, the double zip up pencil cases can carry two standard decks. I've got four pencil cases to choose from! Mari H.

Emily	13 Jul 2002
I bonded with my Spiral by shuffling, at least once a day - sometimes more often than that, and really taking the time to look at the cards. I've been carrying them around with me for a few weeks too, they went on holiday with me and I forgot to take the deck out of my rather largish handbag so they've ended up taking trips with me lol Also doing readings for myself, drawing a card a day or doing a full reading everycouple of days. It seems to be working, I feel closer to this deck than I ever did with the Rider Waite or any of my other decks, although the Hanson Roberts does give off some really nice vibes lol :)

wavebreaker	13 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Mari_Hoshizaki Actually, I'm er...confession follows...not faithful to one deck. I like comparative readings, which means use two decks to look at ideas or questions. Some people think that's similar to reading out of two books at the same time...but I am thinking it is like looking at two comparable translations at once. I do that too! Because sometimes I want advice from different "personalities" ;). For example, my Glastonbury is very kind and gentle. But sometimes maybe too gentle. So sometimes, after I have done a reading with the Glastonbury, I do the same reading with the Osho Zen, because the Osho Zen will tell me the truth without beating around the bush... ;)

Tarot_Freak	13 Jul 2002
I have tried to read for myself but i find it rather hard....like i can't really do a reading for myself and if i do i usually use the book because i want to make sure that i am just not saying and seeing what i want to see type thing.....lol....i hope that makes sense

joya250	13 Jul 2002
hey Tarot Freak -- don't stress! Personally I find that doing reading for myself is the HARDEST! But, I keep trying, nonetheless. And, don't worry about having the book by your side. I've been reading for about 15 months now -- and I still pull the book out occasionally -- especially when I know what the card means, but I want to refresh my memory of the more in-depth aspects of that cards. It's how you learn. I have several decks -- but my trusty beloved Rider Waite (not Universal, just plain, old RW) has become THE deck. I don't know why, perhaps because this is the deck I used to play with when I was a little girl and didn't know a thing about tarot, just liked the pictures. Although the images wouldn't be my first choice asthetically -- I can read them fairly consistently -- and it's getting easier. How I "bonded" with my deck was I studied it, shuffled it, and brought it around with me when I could. And, for a long time, I didn't feel like doing all that had made a difference -- people here would talk about how they "befriended" their deck -- and how it spoke to them -- and I thought, "hey, no fair! I don't feel like that!" Then, one day, only recently, something clicked -- and I fell in love with my deck. And I felt a warmth towards it. And, although I still don't "talk" with it -- I'm pretty sure it likes me back! How do I know? Well, I feel comfortable with it and it gives me good readings -- or maybe that's just me, getting better at this whole tarot thing. I dunno. I'm tired. I hope I made sense! :D

VGimlet	14 Jul 2002
The more you read, the easier it gets. :D As your confidence grows, you won't need the book so much, don't worry. I still consult books or notes sometimes, especially when I get a great new book that expands my ideas about what a card could mean. I look at it as part of the process of never-ending learning, especially when I'm reading for myself. As for forming a relationship with my cards, I'm already married! (Geenius, you got me going too, LOL.) Seriously, I think the more contact, the better. I agree it's easier to focus on one or two decks at a time. I never sleep with my decks, (that would be a good way for me to wreck-a-deck) but I carry my current deck when I travel. I like playing Solitaire with them. I do lots of three-card readings. I make my husband pick a card out of the stack, and do a one minute "all the meanings it might be" flash-card thing. I put them in order, and shuffle them, a lot. Some seem comfortable right away, and others I have to study longer, or even put away for a later time.

Sorceress_Jade	14 Jul 2002
I've done maybe one successful reading for myself, and that was just recently. It can be VERY hard to read for yourself because you know too much about the details and can't see beyond them. Try reading about other issues that you know less about. Do story telling, daily cards, etc. Read for others, even if you don't necessarily think your ready, just make sure they know ur learning and they can tell you how one you were. Don't get self concious about it, your both simply looking to see what can be seen. I personally suggest to go on instinct. As you go, you will learn more about the cards, get in touch with them that way, and you can look into them via books and the interpretations of others once you have a concept of your own ideas. That's just my opinion tho :)

mondk	14 Jul 2002
I have been a very busy old gal here by acquiring several new decks all within a few days; having trouble juggling, feeling overwhelmed, 2 of Pents!!! LOL. Anyway, I keep mine by my bed too and try to spend time with them whenever I can. I take a new deck and look at each different card and sometimes I write about them in my journal but most times here lately it is much easier to verbally describe the card...that way I feel like I am working with them more. Then, when I feel like I've worked with them enough, I might do "sample readings" usually not on myself, but I will think of family or friends and shuffle, then do a "sample" reading for them. I am seriously considering buying a few of those tarot workbooks to enhance some of my older decks as well...I always feel like I'm neglecting them a little when I get new decks. Blessings, M.

divinerguy	14 Jul 2002
Resident in Tarot is up to one hundred posts. Citizen is 100 - 500 posts. Elder is above 500. Divinerguy

divinerguy	14 Jul 2002
In the past, I woruld tell the cards that I have a red sports car, was a secret agent, and that I'm ALL man, baby, yeah. But, those days of having a different deck every night are gone. Nowadays, I question whether Tarot cards can ever have a meaningful relationship. You take them places, and you buy them trinkets like spread cloths, boxes, silk wraps, and what do you get? Bupkis, that's what I get. What about my needs? Sometimes I think my cards just don't understand me. I work hard all day, and when I come home, all I want is to sit down for a couple of minutes and relax. But what do I get? - Nag, nag, nag. Do I look fat in this silk wrap? Why don't you get a better job? Robin Wood and the guy next door went on a cruise, why can't we go on one? Don't get me wrong, I'm a one deck man. But . . . that fine looking deck across the street is a Godess. Mmm, mmm, baby. Divinerguy

Pob	14 Jul 2002
well, to be honest i pretty much always sleep with my tarots, for the last three years i have cuddled up to my thoth deck(unless i had company:) mind you even then they were still somewhere i could see them. By doing this i feel i develop a deeper bond with my cards and therefore i see the cards more as a part of me. Hey and they always respect you in the morning! I also feel it is important for me to find nice wee boxes and cloths to put various decks in, i think it gives off the vibe of your tarots being a tool to be used and respected anyway just thought id share! peace pob

joya250	14 Jul 2002
LOL Diviverguy! :D :D :D

Starfish	14 Jul 2002
I'm with Joya, Divinerguy - great post! :T7W Starfish

Cerulean	14 Jul 2002
________________________________________________ ...In the past, I would tell the cards that I have a red sports car, was a secret agent, and that I'm ALL man, baby, yeah. But, those days of having a different deck every night are gone... ________________________________________________ Now, now DivenerGuy and others, as a recovering OneTarotGal fool, let me give you a little magician suggestion: Put on your white hat (or high priestess veil), kiss the Empress and Emperor goodbye and tucka high priest token into your pocket. Realize you only think your tarot is waiting for you, faithful as one lover. Go mount your chariot, gather justice or strength (depending on your preference) and head for the Hermitage House of the Rising SunSign. Rotate your wheels 78 degrees for good luck, recheck your justice or strength and then hitch up your belt buckle (with all your good luck mini-decks chained for good luck--gotta have some for the road). No more hanged man, no matter if you go through the devil and back! Your faith is temperance, and death doesn't scare you. The one deck life is too limiting. You gotta love em and leave em, no matter if there's 78 archetypes crying out your name. They only love you for a little while, once in a blue moon. An hour later, like cheap takeout, they're gone and you're forgotton. Or you are gone and they are forgotton? Anyway, the star be at your back, the sun in your eyes, set out. Take the high royal road, sail with the navigators of the mystic seas, roll out your wheel of change, do the cancan with tarot de paris and forget the old! You can always check Aeclectic for songs of the journey home or wolfsongs or even play a onemanband with tarocco de musica. But don't cast judgement on yourself:see the world and all the different tarots. And by golly, if you've read this far, you can tell me what archetypes I've forgotton. Hopefully your not decking me for being a card.... Mari H.

Starfish	14 Jul 2002
Mari - great post! I love it! :T7W Starfish

niah	14 Jul 2002
Mari - Great post! :D :TCHAR

mondk	15 Jul 2002
You all are so witty!!! Love it!!! Blessings, M.

Tarot_Freak	15 Jul 2002
Mari i LOVE!!! your post!!!

Pob	15 Jul 2002
well in guys, Fantastic posts- im suer we can all find a little of ourselves in there! peace pob

Umbrae	15 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by divinerguy Bupkis, that's what I get. What about my needs? Oy! Your needs? Does your deck hear you use such talk? Balagan is all you will get if your ways do not change! Young people today, no respect...

The Forming a relationship with your cards thread was originally posted on 13 Jul 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.