Pleading Guilty to Tarot Reading

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 15 Jul 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Dark Inquisitor	15 Jul 2002
I was wondering how other people have found out about your tarot interests, or that you read tarot for others. How did you deal with people that you knew would not like what you were doing? If they found out by accident, how did you handle it? Tarotphelia

Jewel	15 Jul 2002
Well lets see ... the only people who know are close friends and any family who cares take a look at my bookshelves *LOL*. It is not a secret, but I do not advertise it either. Tarot is very personal to me and I prefer to go into "my cave with my treasures" rather than share them with poeple who do not understand or appreciate the Tarot. My mom HATES the Tarot, she has been socialized to believe Tarot is evil but when her (adult) daughter has 2 booshelves of Tarot books and 80+ decks and packages arriving from Amazon every other week or so to her house ~giggles~ what can she do? I respect her enough to not talk tarot to her, and she refrains from making snide remarks about my decks and interests. We acknowledge our difference in opinion and respect each other. But I did get her to smile at the Tower card in the Tarot for Cats ~giggles~. My parents handle it by pretending it is not happening ... denial seems to be quite effective for them *LOL*.

Jimilyn	15 Jul 2002
I don't tell too many people that tarot is one of my interests for a couple of reasons. One is that I just don't want to hear all the preaching that I'd get from some. The other reason is actually quite similar...tarot just isn't quite what a community expects from an elementary school teacher here in the Bible Belt. So I just lay low. :D I don't hide it...I am....hmmmm...discreet. :D My mom, sisters, nephew, and two of my cousins know as well as some of my friends...and of course anyone who happens to see me shopping in B&N or metaphysical stores. LOL ;) Jimilyn

Sorceress_Jade	15 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Jewel My parents handle it by pretending it is not happening ... denial seems to be quite effective for them *LOL*. Diddo to the fullest. My mother MUST have seen me browsing Aeclectic, and I have all sorts of craft books on my shelves in my room. But she acts as though she hasn't even seen it, pretends like she doesn't notice my jewelry. Granted I do my best to keep my things from staring them in the face, but I've not been quite hiding it so well lately as I used to. Denial is their coping mechanism, poor things. None of my family knows I read, and I don't openly announce it to most of my co-workers. When people who don't get it do find out I try my best to patiently explain to them what I do.

the hermit	15 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Tarotphelia I was wondering how other people have found out about your tarot interests, or that you read tarot for others. How did you deal with people that you knew would not like what you were doing? If they found out by accident, how did you handle it? Tarotphelia I STAND GUILTY AS CHARGED, YOUR EMINENCE! Well, having been... burned... in the distant and not so distant past I tend to be pretty private at work and school. With my family it's sort of like the military's past policies dealing with gays... "don't ask, don't tell". They don't bother me and I don't ask silly questions about the pope, cardinals, bishops, sex scandals... well you get the idea. Friends though... we get to pick those... and so, friends don't become friends without at least accepting the fact. I read the Tarot, sometimes for them. I collect, meditate and gaze at crystals... also water... and ladies (I'm sure that's a big shock to those who have read my prior posts! NO! I don't collect them... well, 1 or 2 in the past... but I do meditate about and gaze at them.) I don't believe in god or the devil (at least not the christian flavor) I semi-believe in astrology, numerology, alternate healing techniques, magick (definitely with a K). I also semi-believe in science! I fully believe in the wonder and beauty of nature and the universe around us. I do NOT, repeat NOT, believe that it all happened because of the random collisions of subatomic particles (or any other random event or events)! But that's just me... do feel free to disagree... politely though, please.

Keslynn	15 Jul 2002
My friends all know except for one who would not approve and would probably try to lecture me. Most of my friends are okay with it. Their reaction has varied from "oh! That's neat! Will you do a reading for me?" to listening with a look of forbearance as I chatter about new decks. Many of my friends started out thinking it was some sort of party trick until I did readings for them. Unskilled as I am, they were dead on! This was the same in my workplace where I worked part time and am full time in the summer. However, it's probably not something I'll be telling my professors (I'm a grad student). Also, I don't feel that I can tell my parents. I am a Christian. I do not feel that the tarot conflicts with my beliefs, but they certainly would. Although I'm out on my own, I still don't want to deal with any issues they might have with it. Ditto but double that for my grandparents. So I'm about halfway out of the gypsy tent. ;) And I'll be staying that way for a while. :) Kes

Sorceress_Jade	15 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by the hermit I collect, meditate and gaze at crystals... also water... and ladies (I'm sure that's a big shock to those who have read my prior posts! NO! I don't collect them... well, 1 or 2 in the past... but I do meditate about and gaze at them.) LMFAO (another one of those that ppl here are wondering what the hell i'm laughing at my computer screen for) one question tho.... you collect water? :D

Starfish	15 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Sorceress_Jade one question tho.... you collect water? :D OMG! I just snorted Coca Cola outta my nose! S.J., too funny!! :T3C Starfish

destinyawaitsme	15 Jul 2002
Hmm. I really don't tell that many people. I only tell people I know well enough to know what their reaction would be. I guess that's why everyone I have told about it thought it was cool, or interesting. I did have one experience though. My mom had a friend who went and got her cards read every month. She was always curious about tarot so when I learned to read them I had to read for mom. I have a good connection with her even as a beginner I could look at the cards and just start talking. She would scream. And say, "you are freaking me out!" (kidding of course). We had lots of fun. So my mom started telling everyone in the family about my new hobby. She was proud of me....I guess she thought I had some hidden talent that was going to make the family rich. Always telling me I had to get a cool name and open business. (or course she was joking...or at least i think she was hehe) So my aunt blurted out at sunday dinner at my grandma's that she wanted me to "do her cards." Her husband started grumbling and ordered that, "there wasn't going to be any of THAT." It made me feel bad. Like he thought I was corrupting his wife. The woman is a good 30 years older than me. I'm sure she is capable of making her own decisions.

the hermit	16 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Sorceress_Jade LMFAO (another one of those that ppl here are wondering what the hell i'm laughing at my computer screen for) one question tho.... you collect water? :D Yep, got little bottles layin' all over the place... But my mom has warned me that if I try scrying with the Lourdes water she's gonna phone the pope!

mondk	16 Jul 2002
Word of mouth is how most people know I read and that is how I come by most of my querents as well. My parents and siblings are big skeptics but I tell them it's just a hobby, and something fun to do and they don't say much then. Blessings, M.

wavebreaker	16 Jul 2002
I told my two best friends when I started learning the tarot, they think it's completely normal, so that's no problem. They sometimes ask me for readings, but not all the time, so that's fine too. I've told one colleague, just to see how she would react; turned out she had never heard of tarot before ;), but after I had explained what it was she was really interested and asked me to do a reading. Even though it was a very simple one, she was very impressed with it... ;) I haven't told my family, and probably never will. I've always been taught that "that stuff" is all a load of nonsense and they will only think this is just another "phase" I'm going through (I've always been the "weird" one in the family) or think I've gone completely bonkers. I can't be bothered to try and explain to them either, it's useless, as they've never really taken anything I do seriously. Just the other day, I mentioned to my younger brother that I was into reiki; he didn't even react, didn't even ask what it was, so I just left it at that... I also "tested" a friend once. When I was visiting her there was a catalogue on the table that her boyfriend had picked up at some metal festival with all sorts of "gothic" stuff in it, including a few tarot decks. So I said, very casually, "Oh look, it's got tarot decks in it as well", just to see how my friend would react. She said something like: "Oh yes, it's got all this stuff that 12-year old girls seem to find interesting...". I decided to leave it at that... ;)

carolliketarot	16 Jul 2002
Not many people around me know about my interest in Tarot, as I only tell those that I believe will be supportive. Only my close friends, my family and my boyfriend. My parents and brother just treat it as one of my hobby. My mom had studied some chinese fortune-telling, so they treat it as sort of fortune-telling. The only thing that my mom keeps on reminding me is "don't spend too much money on tarot" (I always have problem with that) :D My friends are supportive and I received tarot books and deck for my birthday. Yeah! I had done readings for them, though, not much success, but they are willing to let me have another shot. My boyfriend is a bit skeptic about tarot, so I told him that it is only my hobby. He only reminds me not to get to rely on tarot. Well, I do not tell him that I get addicted in collecting tarot decks and have a long wishlist. :D Carol

jema	16 Jul 2002
my family are what some would say co-dependent. that is they reinforce my addiction since for them it is a great way to always know what to buy me for birthday presents. my mther likes to look at my cards but refuse to let me do a reading for her. my jehovas witness aunt despairs and tell my mother that datan lives in my home in all the cards and asks me with a sad voice - "Why do you have to have these devils cards?" but that is it. the rest of my friends come to me for readings when they think they want one - which is not too often - i told them one cannot really do reading upon reading without acting and trying to do something to change ones life in between - it would be like going to the doctor - getting a diet-list over and over again but refusing to follow it. i don't read as a pro. i do take on payed readings on request though and word is slowly spreading but i guess up here poeple are still afraid of the minions of satan who will possess them if they come to me for a reading;)

Jewel	16 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by the hermit With my family it's sort of like the military's past policies dealing with gays... "don't ask, don't tell". They don't bother me and I don't ask silly questions about the pope, cardinals, bishops, sex scandals... well you get the idea. Friends though... we get to pick those... and so, friends don't become friends without at least accepting the fact. I read the Tarot, sometimes for them. Exactly! That is the way it is with me! You have the gift of words :-)

Kellinator	16 Jul 2002
Hmmm... I'm not sure if my family knows. I always try to stash my magick books where they won't worry over them, but haven't really worried about the tarot. And a few weeks ago I mentioned a reading I had done for myself about a situation I'm dealing with to my mom over the phone and she didn't seem to bat an eye. It's hard to tell though. I only told the classmates I really got along with, since most of my classmates seemed to think I was a fruit loop anyway... ;) I don't think I've ever had a friend react any more negatively than "oh, I don't believe in that stuff" (and even they will consent to readings if I have cards on me). Usually it's the opposite: "Oh you have to read for me!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!" which is a whole different set of problems... Kellinator

debins	16 Jul 2002
I don't tell anyone. However, by having books lying about in my personal study/library and related materials I think my husband realizes I have "an interest". He says he doesn't understand how an intelligent person can believe in all this. When speaking of tarot, he referred indirectly to another person "having gone the whole bit". (One of his colleagues is a closet warlock and just recently celebrated May Day. Other employees think the pagan fellow is downright weird.) At the moment, I am going for gradual exposure at home in hope of demonstrating no incongruency between intelligence and tarot.

the hermit	17 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Kellinator since most of my classmates seemed to think I was a fruit loop anyway... ;) "fruit loop?" is that like... a technical term? I mean... does fruit actually loop? and while we're talking about food questions... if there's nobody at the breakfast table... do rice krispies still snap, crackle and pop? Quote: Originally posted by debins He says he doesn't understand how an intelligent person can believe in all this. Just to be a stinker (which I, of course, am not) ask your husband sometime if he believes in electrons, neutrons, subatomic particles or black holes... which are all theoretical, have never been seen, and can not be measured accept by indirect inference... And remember, my friends, though theology can not prove that gods and goddesses exist… science can not prove that they don’t!

Bella	17 Jul 2002
Tarotlady: I'm the "weird" one in the family too!! (my brother actually told me that my mom lets me get away with a lot of stuff (??) because she thinks I'm a little "nuts"-LOL). Suffice it to say that I haven't told my parents, although my mom must be in denial since she must've seen all the books and decks lying around the house. In conversation she's mentioned that "the church doesn't allow that." (and I'm thinking, yeah, and? oh, you mean the church that I don't attend? ) my husband and good friends accept it as part of me, and most ask me for readings (just a couple are afraid, even when I explain it to them), and a few of these people know I do readings "professionally." Otherwise, I sort "feel out" people before I decide to mention it. And I never tell the other parents at my daughter's school. lately I've begun practice in Christian wicca--only my husband knows (because of the altar in the bedroom) and he's not thrilled, but I think I'll keep that under wraps with everyone else for now.

debins	17 Jul 2002
Re: "ask your husband sometime if he believes in electrons, neutrons, subatomic particles or black holes... which are all theoretical, have never been seen, and can not be measured accept by indirect inference..." My husband doesn't "believe" in anything; neither does he invest a lot of himself in theories. When in comes to committing himself he is interested in scientific evidence reinforced from several perspectives. He's a difficult one to convince of anything. That makes him good for practising one's logic on. Otherwise, he reads, reflects and reserves judgement. Namaste, Debins.

Vespertine	17 Jul 2002
Hey~ I haven't really come out of the tarot-closet to anyone yet. I'm kinda scared to :-\. My parents would probably get some priest to perform an excorcism on me if they found out. I sorta told one friend (kinda). We were talking about what kinds of things we've been sketching/painting lately, and I told her that I've been desiging Tarot Cards (*excellent* cure for artist's block :), and she was like "Oh, Heath! You could've found something less Satanic than that!" O_o ...heh...i think i'll keep it on the down-low for right now :)

Mlle Lenormand	18 Jul 2002
I've been burned pretty bad in the past for being open about my beliefs and used to keep pretty quiet about it. But now I've surrounded myself with interesting open minded friends and so its not a problem. I'm lucky enough to have a friend close by who spends time with me going through the decks and learning with me. :)

truthsayer	18 Jul 2002
my mother knows and a sister. occasionally i'll meet someone i'll tell but this is quite rare. i was burned really bad by a friend's father when i was a teenager. her father found about my interest in tarot. then he spent 6 years trying to convert me to christian fundamentalism. he even tried to get my mother to burn my cards. it was miserable for me. in time i developed a real chip on my shoulder towards fundies. i've always wanted to tell him how his behavior only cemented my dislike of fundamentalism and how badly he hurt me. he's passed on now so i won't get my chance but i feel like it's okay now. i can let it go. i'm not as angry about it as i used to be, thank goodness. i feel secure in my personal beliefs. but i had to seek pastoral counseling to recover spiritually for the damage that had been done. i was really fortunate w/ the minister that worked w/ me. he admitted to using i ching on the side. i showed him my tarot cards and he told me he thought they were wonderful. his acceptance really helped me turn around spiritually. i mailed him a copy of the hierphant i did for the FACT deck. i felt doing the hierphant showed how much i've progressed. i needed for him to know i'm healing and this was my way of thanking him for not judging me. my father doesn't directly know about tarot but he knows i won't go to church. i respect his beliefs enough that i'll never bring it up. i've also decided that i'm not talking to him about religion anymore. it's too painful a subject and there's too much potential for rejection. if it weren't for the internet i wouldn't have anywhere to talk about tarot. of course, i might have more money, too! ;)

Rhiannon	18 Jul 2002
I'm pretty open about it. Anybody who comes into my house and has eyes can see my beliefs. On my front door is a decorated besom (broom). I have a witch wrapped around my railing for my stairs, I have tarot cards on my living room wall around my altar. And I don't hide my books. This is MY house and I should be able to feel comfortable here. If they don't like what they see, they can leave. My parents know about the tarot. But I'm not sure how much they know about my spiritual beliefs. I don't usually wear my Pentacle necklace around them, but I do wear my Brigid necklace alot. And I've told them that it is a representation of the Triple Goddess of the hearth. I've even done a reading for my grandmother. R :)

divinerguy	19 Jul 2002
I admire your ability to practice your beliefs so openly. As an attorney in a small community outside of San Diego, I must be circumspect in outward appearances. I pull out my earring before court, I hide my cards when visitors come over, and I keep my beliefs quiet around family. Its a matter of financial survival. Its hard for people to trust a lawyer they perceive as having fringe beliefs. I hope to someday pay off my home loan, and get a nice quiet civil service job, and openly practice my beliefs. That way, no one can punish me financially for what I choose to believe.

Rhiannon	19 Jul 2002
Yes, I can see why that would be a problem, divinerguy. If I went back to work in an office I would probably not start dressing like Stevie Nicks and wearing my pentacles and offering readings to my co-workers either. So, in a few months I will probably be faced with all that again. I am enjoying my freedom now, however! R :)

Kiama	19 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Bella Tarotlady: I'm the "weird" one in the family too!! He he... Another black sheep here! Recently, my whole family (Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins,) found out that I read Tarot. It allhappened cuz, every year after Christmas, me and my two sisters write all those who sent us presents thankyou letters, thanking them, and telling them what else we got, etc... Well, this Christmas, I really only got Tarot decks! So, I had to write that in my letters... My familty are all pretty okay with it. My grandparents even looked pleased when I told them I had won a TarotGarden competition! My parents are fine with it. My a just ignores it, and accepts that Tarot equates with his daughter, and vice-versa... You see me, you ee my Tarot decks! I am not seperable from Tarot at all, and I am ctually of the opinion that Tarot, aswel as my religion and my personality, is part of my essence, who I am... Saying that, I never flaungf it in frnt of people. I do not go getting out deckas and doing readings on trains or buses, nor do I just walk up to strangers and tell them I'm a Tarot reader. My friends woudl not be my friends if they were not open-minded enough to accept such things anyway, cuz I really don't get on well with people who insist that Tarot or any other religion is evil! I am open about Tarot, just as I am open about anything aout me! But I do not flaunt it. I will not lie if somebody asks me if I read Tarot. However, once I was giving a reading for a friend in need at school... I found a nice secluded classroom, but was 'caught' by my General Studies teacher... What followed was a bit of a heated debate about Tarot and Satan... In the end, alhough I did not convince the teacher that Tarot wasn't evil (I would be naive to think I could anyway!), I did get him to let me continue the readin in peace and quiet, cuz my fried REALLY needed my help at that point. I refuse to apologise for what I do in life, unless it really is wong and bad. Kiama

Alex	19 Jul 2002
I never gave that much thought. I don't tell neither do I hide. But I tend to be that way with most things. When I sent out my wedding invitations several people said to me they didn't know I had a boyfriend. Being a scientist and having passed hundred of exams on science I think I have earned the right to believe in whatever the hell I want to believe; because, in the end, it's all about faith. I would also risk to say that people are usually more tolerant and understanding than we tend to think, when it comes to Tarot. They are curious and sometimes a little affraid of the cards. Given the chance, they'll ask you for a reading. Like my relatives, they criticize the Tarot whenever they get the chance, but every once in a while I'm doing a reading under my mom's request. People just need something to nag about.

Kath	20 Jul 2002
I got my first tarot deck a few years ago as a Christmas present from my brother. I unwrapped it Christmas day and started doing readings there and then. So my family know, but they are really good about it, and let me read for them. Mum asks for readings every now and again. My family are not religious, neither are my friends, so it was not a problem, and I knew there would be no 'fire and brimstone' reactions. My two best friends read tarot as well. My husband thinks I'm a pretty good tarot reader, and in fact, I have inspired him to start learning about tarot, and he has a few decks of his own. I haven't really told my husband's family, none of them are religious so I don't think I will get a negative reaction, it just hasn't come up in conversation. Last Christmas we bought our neice and nephew a tarot deck each, and there was no negative feedback, or parents taking us aside and asking us not to lead their children to Satan. My boss found out accidentally that I was interested in tarot. I offered to give him a reading and his reaction was "No, they are evil, you open yourself up to all sorts of demons and possesion" etc.... he's a fundie Christian, but he hasn't mentioned them since, and he never preaches to me, for which I am grateful. Cheers Kath

debins	21 Jul 2002
I get negative feedback at work about my obviously careful choices in food, my interest in herbs, etc. I drink "strange" teas, avoid copious amounts of lousy coffee, etc. In fact, my colleagues (theoretically educated people) tend to feel free to be obliquely rude and insulting. Soooo, I am certainly not going to open myself up to further ridicule by revealing my interest in tarot, this forum or new age-y things. My terms of employment are rather tenuous as it is. I don't need to given anyone reason for dismissing me for not seeming to be a suitable teacher for pupils 17-19 years of age. Debins.

Sally Gardens	21 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by debins I get negative feedback at work about my obviously careful choices in food, my interest in herbs, etc. I drink "strange" teas, avoid copious amounts of lousy coffee, etc. In fact, my colleagues (theoretically educated people) tend to feel free to be obliquely rude and insulting. Soooo, I am certainly not going to open myself up to further ridicule by revealing my interest in tarot, this forum or new age-y things. My terms of employment are rather tenuous as it is. I don't need to given anyone reason for dismissing me for not seeming to be a suitable teacher for pupils 17-19 years of age. Debins. Pretty sad if eating a healthy diet makes people question your suitability as a teacher. Would you be a better role model if you guzzled coffee and ate cheeseburgers and poutine? :D At my present place of employment, more conservative than other places I've worked, I've run into people who think vegetarianism is weird and fringe at best, suspect or even downright disreputable at worst. This is very strange to me, as I'm used to people at least accepting it as a mainstream thing, or even admiring it as a good thing, even if they themselves aren't veg.

amyel	21 Jul 2002
I don't make it well known. People close to me know that I do. I have just recently "come out" to my step-kids, but that was more because they attend Catholic school and I didn't want to make any waves with their mother. My step-daughter is showing an interest in Tarot which I am gently encouraging. I told her I'd get her a deck if she thought it was something she'd like to persue, but she had to keep it here - I won't let her take a deck home to her mother's - the first time I have ever bought her anything and asked her not to take it home. I explained that it was because not everyone understood tarot, but my household did, so best to practice and learn and gain confidence in a home that is accepting of the cards. At the moment, she has been reading my "Tarot for a New generation" book, and if she wants to continue further, we'll look into a deck.

Mermaid	22 Jul 2002
I'm firmly in the tarot closet - I won't deny that I read tarot if anyone asks because I don't think it's wrong, but I definately don't go round telling folk that I do! It's kind of the same with my religion - only my boyfriend and a close friend of mine know that I'm pagan. The signs (cards, altar, incense, paintings etc) are there to see for anyone who comes round to my house, but most people who do seem to prefer to ignore them...

Maan	22 Jul 2002
I'm pretty open about my tarot! My parent bought me my first deck ( the medecine cards and a year later a tarot deck) so they don't mind ;) I read for them quit reguarly! The only thing they don't get is the fact that i need more than 1 deck! LOL but only tarot holics get that ;) Almost al my friends now. I live in a very small room so its kindda hard to miss al my tarot books and wicca stuff. I have a couple of friend who don't know but there not exectly friends. There people for fun and not for serious talk. I would never go to them when i'm in trouble or something. But for parties there nice people:) My ex did not really like my "hobby" but he just ignored it :( I hope i will find a nice guy who can exept me my tarot and the fact that i'm a witch! :) Its alot to handle for most guys....and al at once. " o yes i need to tell you something ...I'm a witch " LOL

vision	24 Jul 2002
My family, close friends knows but I tend to keep it what is private, private. I'm not trying to hide from it but if I don't get asked, I don't go telling people about it. Specially at work, people tend to be narrow minded or less understandable about metaphisical stuff so.... Vision

Pob	24 Jul 2002
well, most of my friends are very supportive of my tarot quest and this itself has been fundamental in my constant learning (once people know they will always want readings!) i have come across some adversity mostly from blank minded christians who are desperately trying to PREY/pray for my soul!? (fat chance!) i am in the lucky position of having a very understanding family with very strong psycic links two of my sisters have been regular tarot users much longer than me. i guess the main point is if it feels right to you then carry on, you cant convince everyone out there and maybe they just aint ready for convincin yet! peace pob

The Pleading Guilty to Tarot Reading thread was originally posted on 15 Jul 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.