Violating a tarot rule? Input needed.

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 13 Jul 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

mondk	13 Jul 2002
Okay, here was the situation. I went to visit a relative who also reads tarot. She was getting ready to lay the cards out for this guy who had shuffled already and put his energy into her deck he said. Right when I got to her house, a bunch of other people came over and she had to go help some people move her furniture that she had sold. She asked me to please read for this guy so he wouldn't have to wait...read with her cards (although I have this same deck). I told the guy to pick one of my decks so we could start over and he refused...said he had taken several minutes putting his energy into her deck and shuffling and all. So I took her cards, with her permission, and proceeded to do a CC. But everything felt so wrong to me that I felt I was not getting an accurate reading. In mid-reading I stopped and told him that I felt she needed to read for him. He was rather upset with me...do you all think I was wrong? She ended up finishing the reading where I left off and her reading went the same way mine was...with no real info given. He was upset and demanded that we give him a timeframe. Needless to say, she and I both decided he won't be getting any more readings from either of us. Anyone else have this happen? Input, advice, comforting needed!! Thanks in advance! Blessings, M.

kayne	13 Jul 2002
Hmm... interesting. I don't think I could have done waht you tried to do, that is, step in half way through like that... Then again, I probably would have had trouble reading with all the interuptions your friend had too. When I start a reading I shuffle the cards, really concentrating on them and clearing my mind. When I pass the cards to my quarent to shuffle, I stay in this slightly relaxed, meditative but alert state and I *hate* when I am interupted - it stuffs up the entire flow of the reading and it just doesn't work as well for me... So - I think you were right to stop reading, I wouldn't have started in the first place. What a demanding quarent you had! :P

the hermit	13 Jul 2002
mondk: Wow... you were put in an incredibly difficult spot by your relative. Not to be critical (don’t you just love when people say that? ‘cause you just KNOW that they’re going to be!), but I think your first response was the right one. I think that the fact that the reading got all bollixed up sort of proves that. When he refused to pick one of your decks, I’d have politely said “Alright, but I’m sorry then, you’ll have to wait for (your relative) to do the reading.” But then all my friends know I’m a cranky old hermit. I’ve never been able to do a reading with someone else’s cards. The few times I’ve tried, it’s been a disaster for me and the querent. I also have all kinds of trouble with used cards. It seems to take months for them to accept me. I seem to be able to buy new ones and cleanse them quickly and begin readings, but not used ones. Maybe it’s just my own psychological problem, but we all know that knowing what the problem is doesn’t always solve it. I always tell someone before a reading that sometimes I have to stop. If I can tell them why I stopped I will, but sometimes things just aren’t right though I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong. And stop I have. I don’t take money for readings, but I have traded various services and items for them. If that’s the case, and I have to stop, I always give them the opportunity to stop the exchange or receive another reading later. Some times people just go away upset and that’s that. Though IMHO if this was a free reading, then the guy has no gripe.

Lightlike	13 Jul 2002
I think you did the right thing mondk and imo I would have been a bit curt and blunt with him because he was so stubborn and unappreciative. I don't think I could read for someone I didn't feel at least appreciated me taking time and energy to read for them. I'm also sorry your relative put you in that position but I can sort of can understand, I know I'd hate for something to interrupt a reading with my client--I'd want to try to accomadate them in a situation like that.

lunalafey	13 Jul 2002
You did good, you tried to go with it and it did not work, and you quit and was honest, I see no violation what so ever. It sounds to me that HIS rough(agressive,stubborn,demanding) energy was most definatly reflected in the cards if they did not read well.

fairyhedgehog	13 Jul 2002
What a horrible position to be put in. It sounds like whatever you did was going to be 'wrong' according to someone - at least you did your best, and you know now that you can trust your intuition about whether to read or not. All the best, FH

cjtarot	13 Jul 2002
Hi, I think you did your best. The fact is, if it were me, I would have probably told the man to shove off. He sounded rather rude. If I tell someone to shuffle again, or as you did, one of my decks, I do it for a reason...it was not his dec. to make when or what deck you should read from..it has to come from you. Good luck in the future.. PS...I NEVER GIVE TIME LINES....it's the powers that be that decide "when" or even "if" Blessings cj

Thirteen	13 Jul 2002
Ditto what everyone else is saying. The only time I've used someone else's deck was when it was a deck they hadn't yet touched or used. Seriously. I can't imagine using someone else's deck. I don't even touch another's deck without their permission, I wouldn't dream of using it. Of the two things you might have done-- 1) Told your relative, "No," and said you'd take care of the arriving company (or just have the guy wait). 2) Told your relative "Yes," but she has to lay out the cards first. I think you could do a reading for someone IF the cards were laid out. But if you go about handling the cards yourself, it's bound to go all wrong. The way I feel about it, the deck is "prepped"--ready for THAT reading of THAT person by THAT reader. If it goes into another's hands, it's rather like, passing the phone to a stranger. The conversation goes dead or all wrong. But if the cards are already laid out, saying what they have to say, then it's rather like a recording of the phone call. You can listen to it, maybe make sense of it. Um...if that makes any sense. Also, let's face it, your querent's mood didn't help. That was bound to frazzle you and give bad vibes to the whole proceeding.

divinerguy	13 Jul 2002
I personally see cards as just being pieces of paper with ink on them. I don't have a problem with using someone else's cards. My cards sit in their factory boxes on my book shelf. I see divination in all forms as originating in a combination of archetypes, synchronicity, energy management, a little intuition, and other characteristics. For me, Tarot cards are just a tool for interpreting those factors. Some people prefer more ritual when it comes to their readings, and that's okay by me. Whatever it takes to place the reader in the proper frame of mind to impartially interpret the cards. What I DO have a problem with are pushy querents. You are doing them a favor by lending your skill to their lives. A little courtesy by the querent would've been proper. I think you did the right thing. Divinerguy

mondk	14 Jul 2002
I feel lots better; I knew you guys and gals here would understand!!! And actually, for some unexplainable reason, I didn't like that guy the minute I stepped through her door although I can't really explain why. I even asked my relative later if he was ever into the Dark Arts...she looked at me with suprise and said how did you know that? She said he'd been a Wiccan/Pagan earlier in his life and now he is sort of a born-again Christian, but she said in his refusal to discuss his previous religion, she had always wondered that about him too. I had never met this guy before in my life, and as soon as I laid eyes on him, I got a dark feeling and my little protective light shield went up immediately. Perhaps that was another reason the reading went horribly!!! Thanks again everyone for letting me know I did try to read for him and that I'm not a complete loser, LOL!!! Blessings all, M.

Starfish	14 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by mondk Thanks again everyone for letting me know I did try to read for him and that I'm not a complete loser, LOL!!! Definitely not a loser! I agree with pretty much everything that has been said. I agree with Thirteen in that I would have had my relative lay the cards out and I would have then interpreted the spread. But I have a feeling that no matter WHAT you told this guy, he was not going to be happy - some people are just that way (and your own internal sensors went off, which is a bit telling on it's own). Sorry that you had to be put in that situation. I think you handled it as best as could be done. :T7W Starfish

Mojo	14 Jul 2002
There are no such things as Tarot rules.

raeanne	15 Jul 2002
Hi all, Personally, I feel the problem was with the relative. If there wasn’t time to do the reading, it shouldn’t have been started. For the relative to let the guy start shuffling the cards and then quit in the middle of everything and basically say, “Sorry, I don’t have time for you” is rude to the customer. I don’t blame the guy for being upset. Obviously the relative wasn’t giving the focus to the reading that the customer deserved. I hope he wasn’t charged for this reading. You were put in a very unfortunate situation. Looking back, you probably should have held your ground and refused if you weren't comfortable with the situation. But, you gave it a try and it didn't work out. If I were you I would let the relative know how uncomfortable this was for you so it doesn't happen again.

MysticRose	15 Jul 2002
Wow, I am glad to hear I am not the only one with problem querents. I think you did great in horrible circumstances Mondk!!! I just got an email from someone last week telling me exactly how he wanted his reading done and that if I did good he might even pay me and would pay me lots more than i usually ask if I did really really good?! (i do work in exchange for $ but they are supposed to pay set fee in advance. lol.) Anyway... I replied to him that when I do readings you get what spirit gives me to give and not what you demand so I didn't feel I was the right one to give him a reading. I guess I am a grumpy hermit too hermit! I don't feel a million dollars could have tempted me to read for him after that email! All the best, Sky

the hermit	15 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by SkyDancer1111 Wow, I am glad to hear I am not the only one with problem querents. I think you did great in horrible circumstances Mondk!!! I just got an email from someone last week telling me exactly how he wanted his reading done and that if I did good he might even pay me and would pay me lots more than i usually ask if I did really really good?! (i do work in exchange for $ but they are supposed to pay set fee in advance. lol.) Anyway... I replied to him that when I do readings you get what spirit gives me to give and not what you demand so I didn't feel I was the right one to give him a reading. I guess I am a grumpy hermit too hermit! I don't feel a million dollars could have tempted me to read for him after that email! All the best, Sky Good for you Sky! Nothing wrong with another grumpy hermit in the world! By the way, I thought that I'd try to make it a little clearer about what I do and don't take for a reading. Though I don't take cash (credit cards, checks or money orders), I do often take an object or services in barter. The "no money" part is just a personal choice and I certainly have no problem with others taking it. Tarot reading is a skill and you should be rewarded for the use of your skill in whatever way YOU think is appropriate. Just wanted to make sure no one thought my nose was up in the air! Besides, I wouldn't be able to keep my cloak hood on very well if it was! :D

MysticRose	15 Jul 2002
You are SO funny Hermit!!!!!!!!! I am just laughing my head off. Thanks!!! You don't happen to live anywhere near Yreka do you? Oh and btw... I also take trade/barter myself too in addition to dollars. Just so there is exchange, I am pretty easy going. Pretty crystals do usually get a bigger smile from me than other trades though. I Luv my rocks! :D L&L Sky

Umbrae	15 Jul 2002
My gosh I am a stick in the mud… Not your spread, not your deck, not your client…money involved…just say no. Even if it is a relative. The ONLY out for you was the offer of a re-shuffle, his refusal let you off the hook. A simple, “Sorry” followed by an explanation would/should have placed his dissatisfaction back upon the shoulders of your cousin, where it fittingly belonged. ------- There are readers in Yreka? OMG...did it creep north from Mendocino or south from Oregon?

the hermit	16 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae There are readers in Yreka? OMG...did it creep north from Mendocino or south from Oregon? Coulda been the water... you know? Like too much flouride or not enough chlorine? Too many tarot molecules per million? Or it coulda been all that ash from up Washington way! Yeh! That's it!!! You know that kinda stuff can effect things for years!

MysticRose	16 Jul 2002
LOL Umbrae! I crept North from Tucson but only had lived there a year. Before that Thousand Oaks for about 5 yrs. I have lived here about 5 yrs now. There isn't much demand for Tarot readings or psychics around here though so mostly I work online and live like a hermit except for flashing my crystals when I go to the grocery store. An alternative health center just opened here not too long ago but the owner says it's not real profitable. She just happened to want to open one. If I did anything there I think I'd just be lucky to make back rental space money. Hardly seems worth the effort. Still I've been thinking of posting a flyer just for fun to stir things up. I swear the mountain water here IS divine! It is the best water I've ever had. L&L

The Violating a tarot rule? Input needed. thread was originally posted on 13 Jul 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.