intuition advice pls!

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 01 Aug 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

isthmus nekoi	01 Aug 2002
I enjoy reading for cold querents, and they often tell me that I'm accurate. My problem is, is that I feel the cards are doing all the work! I am pretty confident in finding patterns in the cards and making visual associations and weaving a tale if you will, but when reading, I never get the feeling that I'm using my intuition. Maybe this is b/c I often read for groups of ppl and am afraid of asking a potentially revealing question, but even then, that feels more like guessing than reading. I'll look and think - this *could be*, not this *is*. Usually, it's only when the querent provides information that the reading becomes specific. If the querent is reticient, they'll say I make sense but then I'm forced to be vague (I'll sound like: you're mourning over something, not necessarily a death, but something has ended in your life and you're still very focused on it - most likely refering to this card in the past position - a period of confusion or disappointment etc). I feel such a huge contrast when reading for myself, b/c when I do this, meanings that have nothing to do w/the written ones will just jump right out at me and they'll make complete sense. ie. Once I had the Knight of Swords and I thought: I'm in danger of saying something I'm going to seriously regret. I didn't know about *what* but I kept pretty mum about anything 'sensitive' that week and I'm very glad I did!!! I don't understand why I don't get these intuitive bursts when reading for others :( Anyways, has anyone had similar experiences? I'd love to read any thoughts... TIA!

catlin	01 Aug 2002
Hi, I think it is rather hard to be intuitive when your querent is cold. I do not like doing readings for such ppl as most only seem to think "Let's see how accurate she is.", "I always thought tarot readings mumbo-jumbo, now I'll get the proof of it!", etc.

wavebreaker	01 Aug 2002
What do you mean by a "cold querent"?

Marion	01 Aug 2002
Quote: Originally posted by tarotlady What do you mean by a "cold querent"? I am guessing she means someone she doesn't know, like 'cold calls' in selling etc. Means you call someone but know nothing about them. I don't count readings I have done on the Forums, since I find it such a different environment, but I have actually only done readings for total strangers, in person, twice. Both times I found myself being vague and almost deliberately holding back the flow of ideas. I wonder if it is a fear of looking stupid, even though you know from other experience that the readings are generally good. isthmus nekoi, I think you specifically said that your intuition does not flow in those situations. I am guessing that like me, your emotions are blocking it, but that you can still use your knowledge of the cards and their interplays to be effective. It may just mean that you have to keep practising and gradually you will allow yourself to be intuitive with strangers.

catlin	01 Aug 2002
Ooops, maybe I took the "cold querent" in the wrong sense of the word? I thought it is a querent who just lets you explain, never commenting, never telling you if you are right or wrong.

Kazz	01 Aug 2002
Quote: Originally posted by isthmus nekoi I I don't understand why I don't get these intuitive bursts when reading for others :( I too asked the very same question!! What i found i was doing was that when reading for myself i am totally relaxed and focused and i seem not to 2nd guess everything as i am not out to impress myself, so therefore when reading for others i used to be slightly tense, and not focused thoroughly because i was quite nervous and hoping that i don't sound ridiculous, so i 2nd guessed myself when reading ("I think that this means that, but maybe it really means this") So what i do now is when the client is shuffling/holding etc, i clear my mind and have a quiet moment in my head to get rid of the (nerves, stiffness etc) then when i begin the reading i am more focused and relaxed, then i find myself "tuned in" much more easlily and i alway say the 1st feeling that i get from the cards, rather than think about it too long , and 9 times out of 10 those are the right ones. And that to me is "Intuition" The more times you read, the greater it becomes, just like second nature!!! I hope this helps you a little BTW(i always feel that i don't explain myself all that clearly, so please ask me if there is anything that you don't understand) Cheers Kazz :TQC

Laurel	01 Aug 2002
For my intuition to kick in, there has to be some kind of flow of energy between myself and the querent. Part of it could well be psychological as opposed to metaphysical. But I'm not a natural medium; I start getting feelings and gut instincts during the discussion about the cards and what's more, my querents get a lot more out of the reading when they have the opportunity to talk and process their own thoughts. They walk away a lot more fufilled. When I was reading tarot professionally, I charged $20/hour reading and let that run over into the 70-80 min range all the time when the querent was really talkative. At the same time, my father, an addiction recovery therapist charged $80/hour for his clients. If the client got equal satisfaction from me as him and felt equally empowered for a quarter the cost, all the better! I'm sure we used a lot of the same skills, including intuitive knowing. :) Laurel

isthmus nekoi	01 Aug 2002
*Thanks* for the replies! I guess I should've been more clear - Marion's right, I meant someone I don't know. I think you guys are right - there is maybe a blockage of energy, like I'm just not using it at all. The ideas I glean from the cards and things I think about saying are based on logical deductions from what I know about the querent or psychology etc as opposed to these flashes of intuition so there are really no intuitive ideas to second guess as it were... Maybe it's because I don't feel comfortable in revealing my intuition - even though I'd love to give a good reading, I feel I have to down play my connection w/the unconscious when I'm w/others b/c it is often a very alien perspective to ppl who don't consciously work w/the uncon. I think my intuition is not really what ppl expect; it's intense and very uh... numinous (sorry, can't think of another word). So.. yeah a fear of coming off as scary, out of touch w/reality or just *weird*... one gets very tired of being regarded as such. If that's the case I think I'm going to have to learn how to filter through those unconscious elements that will help me read w/o getting into a full on meditative engagement w/the uncon (I still gotta be grounded enough to speak clearly to the querent :P) Very tricky!!! Anyways, thanks again for your thoughts! p.s. Kazz, your explanation was very understandable. It sounds like we're not exactly experiencing the same thing, but I appreciate your input :)

Umbrae	01 Aug 2002
Great question! I have a suggestion. Do your layout with the cards face down. Begin your reading position by position. When you about halfway though (past & present). Continue the reading…but turn no cards over. It will scare you at first. Your left-brain will be yelling at you and squealing like squillywiggly. Shut it down. Stop thinking. Thought is your enemy. After a couple of runs at this, you will begin getting real strange images, voices, and random thoughts. Give them voice. This is how you begin to read between the cards. Also, I try not to look at the sitter too much. I usually take my glasses off (I 'm damn near blind without them) because I do not want to be influenced by non-verbal signals. This ain’t no parlor trick here. Once you begin ‘not thinking’ and truly reading, odd things will begin go creep into your readings. This is also why you may want to have others remain at least 4 meters away. As your reading progesses, then you may begin turning over the rest of the layout bit by bit, reading the cards. Exercise your intuitive (I hate that word, PSYCHIC…say it loud and proud) muscle, and enjoy.

mondk	01 Aug 2002
My best and most accurate readings are for cold querents. What I do is this: I lay all my decks out and encourage the querent to hold them, shuffle them, look at them, etc. and then select their own deck. Then I have them shuffle til they feel they have shuffled enough. Then I simply read. I give them any and all feelings I have and if they disagree with me or say I'm making no sense, it really doesn't get to me, because I've had querents call me a few weeks after a reading to tell me that "Yes, that reading now makes perfect sense". Sometimes I think they just have to let the words soak in or something. Hope that may help...blessings to all, M.

MeeWah	01 Aug 2002
Isthmus Nekoi: Being uncomfortable about revealing the range of one's intuition is something I can relate to very well!! Aside from not wanting to appear as wierd & so on, there is another consideration. As much as a querent risks exposing themselves in courting a reading, the reader risks exposure, too! The ramifications of such exposure can either be supportive of the reader's abilities or serve to undermine both the confidence & the openness of both the reader & the querent. Every client is an opportunity to learn from & to hone the skills. Besides the desire to meet the needs of a client, there is the obligation to fulfill the trust placed by the client. Most scrupulous readers aim to answer that trust & take it personally when the results seem to fall short, whether in the eyes of self or of the client. You are correct that those who are not accustomed to intuition at work are oft themselves uncomfortable, even frightened by the prospect of their inner-most selves being laid bare. Part of what attracts an audience is the opportunity to hear about themselves & the aura of entertainment. When faced with a reading that probes the depths of the individual psyche, it becomes more than mere "entertainment". Such displays of knowledge or perception can be threatening, as most have "secrets" they do not want revealed, not even via a reading for whatever reason. Being grounded & focussed are as important as having faith in one's abilities because all of those aspects work together to produce a final result. They are like the links in a chain. When a link is weak, it compromises the chain. With practice, it will be easier to trust the self. Eventually, you will reach the point where the process will be automatic & there will be little or no second-guessing. Despite the years of readings, I see every reading as unique, as unique as the person at the other end. Therefore, every reading can open new territory for the reader; extend the knowledge & the understanding.

isthmus nekoi	02 Aug 2002
Thank you for your helpful comments and suggestions! Umbrae, I think that's a great exercise! Yes, it does sound scary as it forces the cerebral part of my brain to be at a loss, but on the other hand that is very appealing ^_~ You know, your advice to stop thinking sounds just like one of my best art teachers! Those were his exact words ^_^ About revealing yourself - *yes* Meewah, I agree that is a huge component in terms of the reader/querent relationship. I definetely see a need to keep myself concealed for the sake of the *querent* and not just myself. Sometimes, if someone isn't ready, a confrontation w/the unconscious will have disasterous results. I once did a reading, I can't remember the cards, but I gathered that the querent was feeling very threatened by someone, by a woman. I kept wondering who that person was, and I almost asked him when I realized it was *me*. (Actually, that was at least one reading where the cards were speaking to me. Or warning me, now that I think back on it...) I'd known the querent as an aquaintance for awhile and at that point, everything made sense - the way he had acted w/me before. Well, of course I wasn't going to tell him he was feeling threatened by myself (or give him more reasons to be even more threatened!) so I concluded the reading right there!! It makes me uneasy when things I say (even vague things) make ppl uncomfortable b/c the last thing I want is for the querent to walk away upset - maybe I'm also afraid of making querents even *more* uncomfortable by being specific. In terms of my readings for others, it's not the psychic part that can be unsettling I think, esp since I don't find that I am particularly gifted in that area. I'm no more psychic than the average joe! It's more about my own understanding of the unconscious, the ability to probe the most hidden and most secret regions of the psyche; it's *that* connection I think that is frightening to others, and not so much the divination... Hm. I can't thank you all enough for the comments; it's given me much to ponder over.

Kirali	02 Aug 2002
Hi isthmus nekoi! I feel exactly the same way you do. When I read for my sister or my friends, I'll try not to pry into their business even when the cards say sometimes troubling things. I tell them of course what they mean but I shave off the edge to certain cards. I always ask when after I explain each card, "does this make any sense to you?" and they usually respond yes. Most times they keep secret whatever their secret is so I don't get a lot of feedback. You can see the looks on their faces like they're afraid you're going to blab so I just move on. Anyway just wanted to tell you that you're not alone! :)

LeoLady	02 Aug 2002
My husband is a perfect example of that! He sees it as 'lets see how accurate you are'. Of course i dropped myself in it with the post 'EXAM RESULTS GONE WRONG' cos i told him I'd asked the cards and said he's pass! He didn't x

isthmus nekoi	04 Aug 2002
Kirali> I ask that in every reading - does this make sense? And the looks on their faces when they say 'yes' and don't want to go any further! I like the way you put it: shaving of the edge... :) p.s. regarding my previous post, I should have written *more* hidden/secret than 'most'. That really was quite presumptious of me.

isthmus nekoi	28 Oct 2002
Thanks again to all who replied. I recently did a reading and during the course of it, certain things the querent said gave me a physiological reaction that I only get when I'm alone and have hit upon something really psychicly (is that a word??) important. And then I started talking and getting that warm rush... so maybe I'm getting better at this :) (although I haven't had the guts yet to do a reading for someone w/the cards face down!!) Actually, I have no idea what that rush of warmth actually *is*, my hypothesis is that it's my blood cells dialating like crazy except I don't get red in the face so maybe it's more to do w/the nervous system. Anyone else have this happen to them? *shrugs*. Oh well, in any case, it's never been wrong, heavens knows why!

The intuition advice pls! thread was originally posted on 01 Aug 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.